The Unforgiven 2005 Breakdown

WWE Unforgiven – 9/18/05

Live from Oklahoma City, Okla.

Your hosts are Jim Ross, Jonathon Coachman and Jerry Lawler.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito Cool vs. Ric Flair.

I think the last time Flair went after the IC Title was against Bret Hart. They start out with headlock takeovers like Flair/Steamboat at half-speed. Carilto shoulderblocks Flair down and mocks his strut. Flair pushes Carlito to the corner and gives him a little shove. He tries again, and Carlito elbows him in the face. Flair responds with a chop to the chest which makes Carlito dart to the outside. They trade blows in the corners, and Carlito comes roaring out with a clothesline. Flair counters the mounted punches to an Atomic Drop and goes for the figure-four. Ross and Lawler start talking about Toby Keith, prompting Coach to bring up the Oklahoma Sooners. Carlito shoves Flair to the floor and then shoves him back in for an armbar. The crowd chants, “Let’s go Flair!” Carlito backdrops him over and goes back to a wristlock. Flair blocks the Armbar DDT and starts stylin’ and profilin’. FLAIR COMES OFF THE TOP! That gets a standing ovation from the crowd. Okay, that was pretty funny. He tries again, but Carlito catches him with a dropkick on the way down. ONE, TWO, THR–NO! Carlito decides to get his apple and humiliate Naitch a little more before beating him. Instead, Flair knocks the apple out of his mouth and locks in the figure-four. Carlito squirms about for a few seconds before tapping out at 11:44. And the place ERUPTS! **

After the match, Flair gets on the mic and says that this IC Title means just as much as any of his World Titles. He says he regrets that Triple H is not there to share this moment with him. He even invites a few lovely female fans to party with him…ALL NIGHT LONG!

In the back, Carlito storms out without giving an interview.

Elsewhere, Edge and Lita talk about how evil they are. Lita offers to make him happy. Edge actually plays the angle with a little depth, hoping they can be happy together after he gets rid of Matt.

Victoria & Torrie (w/Candace) vs. Trish Stratus & Ashley.

Trish opens a can of whoop ass on Victoria with a headscissors and a Louise Thesz Press (JR’s term, not mine). Ashley comes in and does considerably better than she did in her Raw match with Torrie. Not better enough to be called “good” or anything, but you have to look at the bright side. Torrie breaks up a count and tosses Ashley to the outside, and Ashley takes a wicked face bump. Victoria toys with Ashley, letting her get close to the tag and then yanking her back. Ashley gets the tag, but the ref is distracted by Torrie. Ashley crotches her on the top and makes the hot tag. Trish gets the handstand headscissors and gets MEDIEVEL ON THEIR ASSES! She counters the Widow’s Peak to a headscissors. She uses the Matrix to duck under a Torrie clothesline. Nice. Torrie breaks up the Stratusfaction, but Trish rolls both Torrie and Victoria over. Victoria falls victim to the Chick Kick at 7:05. Hey, this was really not bad. Trish didn’t even seem to have much ring rust. **

Flair and his Flairettes get in the limo, but first, Flair has to tag a couple of doses of Viagra. This is great stuff.

Raw is moving to USA, literally. They’re packing up and moving. The commercial is funny, but I was too busy laughing from the earlier Flair segment.

The Big Show vs. Snitsky.

Show batters Snitsky around to start. Snitsky takes a walk, but Show follows him and jumps him from behind. Back in, SHHHHHH…CHOP! To the outside, Show misses a charge. Snitsky rams Show’s shoulder into the ringpost and drags him back in for an overhand wristlock. Show armdrags him to get out of it. Snitsky blocks a chokeslam by going after Show’s arm. Psychology? From Snitsky? What are they on tonight? Show goes for another one, but his injured arm won’t let him lift Snitsky up. Snitsky shoulderblocks him, injuring Show’s shoulder even further. Show finally clotheslines him down and KIPS UP (well, I’m being generous). Snitsky charges, but Show changes up and chokeslams him with the off-hand for the win at 6:10. You gotta reward effort. They managed to take a match that should have been a big pile of crap and turned it into something watchable. Show hits Snitsky in the head with the ringbell in retaliation for a few weeks ago. *3/4

In the parking lot, the limo is a rockin’.

Kerwin White vs. Shelton Benjamin.

And the crowd goes mild. Shelton yanks Kerwin off the apron, and we’re under way. JR sells the angle by saying putting over the Guerreros and all that Chavo has turned his back on. Shelton gets the sliding dropkick and a flapjack. Kerwin avoids a charge, and Shelton drives his knee into the turbuckle. Kerwin goes to work on the knee with his usual array of moves. Shelton counters a kneebreaker to a sunset flip, but Kerwin rolls through and slaps on an Argentine Kneerack. K. White gets a nice headscissors. Shelton lands on his feet off a monkey flip but hurts his knee even further. He gets the chinlock Kobashibreaker and goes up. Kerwin crotches him, injuring Shelton’s knee again. A Kerwin superplex sets up a single leg crab. Shelton powers his way out and slingshots Kerwin into the turnbuckle. Kerwin grabs his hidden golf club and charges, but Shelton presses him up and drops him with the Exploder Slam for the win at 8:03. Not a bad match, but the crowd wasn’t in to either guy outside of a token chant here and there. **1/4

Matt Hardy vents about Lita. Todd Grisham brings up a good point, saying Matt must still care about her if he’s so angry. “How’s that workin’ out for ya?” I should also mention that Grisham broke kayfabe by saying that Lita and Matt dated for six years, even though they got together in storyline terms four years ago. Then again, “kayfabe” in this angle seems a little archaic.

Steel Cage Match: Matt Hardy vs. Edge (w/Lita).

You can win by pinfall, escape or submission. Lawler inadvertently shows how stupid this style of cage match is in a blood feud. “I hate you with every fiber of my being. I’ll do anything to get my hands on you! Now, let’s have a match where I have to run away from you in order to win.” Edge scurries up, but Matt catches him. They do the same thing near the door. Matt takes him over into a headlock, but Edge rakes the eyes. Matt gets two off a flying clothesline. Another flying clothesline sets up a Twist of Fate attempt, but Edge counters to a chinlock drop for two. Edge goes up, but Hardy catches him going over. Edge blocks the Side Effect and slams Matt’s head into the cage. Edge gets a missile dropkick off the top. Edge smacks him around for a while, and delivers a DDT. It gets a series of two counts. Edge decides to have a little more fun with a pair of turnbuckle powerbombs. The announcers start to beg for Matt Hardy’s life, which would be more dramatic if we hadn’t seen him in all those TLC matches taking a much bigger beating. Matt goes for a huracanrana off the top, but Edge counters it to a powerbomb. The referee starts counting them down for some reason before Edge rolls to a cover. ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Matt explodes with the Side Effect. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Edge says, “Enough of this” and goes for the door. Matt pulls him back at the last moment, but Lita hands the briefcase to Edge. Edge takes a wild swing, but Matt ducks and ties him up in the ropes. FISTS OF FURY! Matt bulldogs him on the briefcase and then tosses him, facefirst, into the mesh. Lita tries to climb up the cage, but Matt knocks her off. Edge is busted open this time, and this time it’s Matt kicking him squarely in the head. Matt goes up to the top with the briefcase, intending to bash Edge’s brains in. Instead, Edge shoves the ref into the ropes, crotching Hardy on the top. He spears Matt against the cage. Edge goes up, but Matt catches up with him again. This time, Matt does get the Side Effect off the top. Lita panics and grabs a chair. The ref takes it away from her, but she gets in the cage anyway. Matt covers. ONE, TWO, THRE–NO! Lita breaks it up! Matt goes after Lita, and Edge crawls for the door, sacrificing his piece of ass to save his ass. Matt catches up with him and pulls him back to the middle of the ring. Lita swings the briefcase at him, but Matt blocks it and gives her the TWIST OF FATE! Lita’s out of it. Matt turns around right into a SPEAR! ONE, TWO, THRE-MATT KICKS OUT! The crowd is really into it by now. Edge crawls up, but Matt catches up with him again and slams his head off the steel. Edge falls back to the canvas. The crowd eggs him on, so Matt dives off with a legdrop off the top of the cage. Matt drapes an arm over Edge…ONE, TWO, THREE! (21:32) This started out slow, but heated up considerably down the stretch. Not quite good enough to reach that **** plateau thanks to the tedious opening beatdown, but better than a lot of people would have expected. Edge crawls up the ramp rather than be stretchered out. ***3/4

John Cena and Eric Bischoff exchange some witty banter.

WWE Tag Team Titles: Rosey & the Hurricane vs. Trevor Murdoch & Lance Cade.

Hey, all right. A tag match on a PPV. For the titles, no less. JR explains the difference between “new country” and “old country” as it relates to Cade and Murdoch. Murdoch gets frustrated and tries to pick a fight with Lillian Garcia. Hurricane hits him with a missile dropkick, but it only gets one. Murdoch tries to headbutt Rosey and hurts himself. Rosey hits him with the Buttalanche for two. Cade slows the match with a front facelock, so Murdoch tries to steal a kiss from Lillian. Hurricane saves her, Murdoch hits him with a sickening DDT from the apron to the floor. Rosey holds his own for a while but misses a splash. The trainer comes down to check on Hurricane as Murdoch pounds Rosey in the face. The trainer helps Hurricane to the back as Rosey starts to make a comeback with a flying clothesline. Hurricane sees he’s in trouble and starts staggering back. He tags himself in and fights back with his one good arm. Cade and Murdoch are staggered, but they hit him with the Veg-o-Matic for the win at 7:41. WHAMMY! New tag champions. **1/4

In the back, one of the Flairettes needs a breather, but Naitch can go all night. WHOOOO!

Maria asks Chris Masters why everyone calls him the Masterbate. Masters gets perturbed by her antics and threatens to break Shawn Michaels.

Chris Masters vs. Shawn Michaels.

Masters catches Shawn in the Masterlock as Shawn is posing during his entrance. That’ll learn him. The ref makes him back off before starting the match. Michaels slips under a second attempt. Shawn hits a kneelift, giving JR the opportunity to reference Mr. Wrestling II. Shawn knocks Masters to the outside and follows him with a pescado. JR compares putting someone over to asking for biscuits and gravy. If you don’t already know that old chestnut, I’m not going to explain it to you. The ref blocks Shawn from using a chair, allowing Masters to throw him into the crowd barrier. Masters powerbombs Shawn into the ringpost twice and then tosses him aside like a sack of potatoes. Michaels crawls back to the ring where Masters goes back to work. He gets a delayed suplex for two. He continues to work the back with a series of forearms and a backdrop. Well, Masters has a decent gameplan. Give him that. He stretches Shawn across his knee, but Shawn battles back. Shawn goes for a crucifix, but Masters counters to a Masterlock attempt. Nice. Shawn takes the Shawn flip off a corner whip. Masters catches him in a TORTURE RACK! Shawn fades but manages to fight his way into a sunset flip counter. Masters rolls through and takes Shawn’s head off with a clothesline. He Military Presses Shawn and goes for the Masterlock. Shawn grabs the referee and mulekicks Masters between the legs, turning some in the crowd against him. Shawn with the flying forearm. Kip up. Scoop Slam. FLYING ELBOW! He’s tuning up the band! SWEET CHIN — NO? Masters ducks and locks in the MASTERLOCK! Shawn shoves himself off the ropes. Again. Crowd chants, “HBK!” Shawn Hulks up (irony) and crawls over the ropes, forcing a break. Shawn snaps Masters’ neck off the top rope. He comes off the top with a flying crossbody, but Masters catches him in mid-air and flips him into the Masterlock. Shawn squirms out before he can lock it in and hits SWEET CHIN MUSIC! ONE, TWO, THREE! Michaels picks up a hardfought win at 12:52. Don’t look now, but Masters looked really good in there. I don’t mean, Shawn was able to make him look good though his divine powers, either. I mean Masters looked really good! ***1/2

The Flairettes, who are giggly and disheveled, exit the limo after a night of pleasure. Flair comes out, bare ass first, and promptly Flair flops on the concrete floor. I would have rather seen Trish or Ashley’s bare ass, but this has been a glorious series of segments from Flair.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle.

Angle takes him down early, but Cena comes back with the hiptoss slam. Angle takes a powder before coming back in with a reverse armlock. Cena counters to a side headlock. Kurt shoves him off the ropes, but Cena shoulderblocks him down and chases him out of the ring again. Back in, Kurt suckers him in and kicks him in the gut. Kurt lays in some forearm uppercuts, but Cena blocks a charge. A scoop slam leads to several elbows by Cena. Sideslam. ONE, TWO, TH-NO! Angle rakes his eyes and gives him a German Suplex to buy a breather. Angle settles into a surfboard. Cena fights back but gets caught with a belly-to-belly. Angle grabs the reverse bearhug, then a legscissors. Coach calls JR a “hayseed,” so JR calls Coach a “boy.” That triggers a little shoot confrontation on commentary before Lawler plays peacemaker. Cena fights back with a flying shoulderblock. He goes for the FU, but Angle slips off his shoulders and goes for the anklelock. Cena pushes him away and drops him with a spinebuster. ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Cena goes for another FU, but Kurt counters to an ANGLESLAM! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Angle slaps on the anklelock, but Cena rolls over and kicks him away. Angle charges into a sitout slam. YOU CAN’T SEE ME! FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE! ONE, TWO, THRE…NO! Crowd is divided. Half of them hate Cena. Half of them love him. On the plus side, the majority of the heat seems to be for Cena and not because of Angle. Angle accidentally clotheslines the ref and turns around into the real FU from Cena. No ref, so no count. Cena picks Kurt up, but Kurt kicks him in the balls. He hits Cena in the ankle with his medals and then drops a knee on his ankle. He applies the anklelock as Eric Bischoff comes down to taunt Cena to his face. Bischoff calls for the bell himself when Cena rolls Angle into him, knocking Bisch to the floor. Cena grabs the belt and clocks Angle with it as the ref recovers. Yep, it’s another lame disqualification in the main event on PPV. (17:15) Bischoff apparently strips Cena of the title anyway before getting FU’ed. Angle attacks Cena from behind. He beats Cena all the way to the Spanish announce table, but Cena Hulks up and FU’s him through the table. The ref raises Cena’s hand even though he disqualified him. It was going so well until the non-finish. ***1/4

Final Thoughts: Hey, damned if they didn’t manage to pull a good PPV out of their ass. Funny what a rival company putting on good shows can do for your spirit. The main event seems to be a way to screw Cena out of the title without actually having him lose it. Unfortunately, they picked one of the worst ways you could do it. On the plus side, Cena looked good, as he always seems to on PPV. Masters looked really good, like Lex Luger during his motivated years. Even Snitsky and Big Show didn’t suck! It may not be a great PPV, but they certainly performed over their heads here.

Thumbs up for Unforgiven 2005.

J.D. Dunn