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 411mania » Wrestling » TV Reports

411s TNA Impact Wrestling Report 3.13.14
Posted by Larry Csonka on 03.13.2014

  • Match times are not exact.

  • We get highlights from last week's Lockdown PPV.

  • EC3, Rockstar Spud, The BroMans and Zema Ion walk and complain about the Lockdown finish. They confront Bobby Roode about losing, and he says it was all Dixie's fault, because her insurance policy screwed them. He then says that when Ray gets here that they take care of business.

  • MVP makes his way to the ring to kick off the show. MVP says it gives him great pleasure to stand here and says that Dixieland is officially closed. What a difference a week makes. He was a minority owner, leading a group of investors, and at Lockdown his team won the match to take control. As for Bully Ray, he doesn't know what motivates him, but he will say that Bully Ray will be given a chance to compete on equal footing like everyone else. Now that his is director of wrestling operations, what will he do? Motivate, validate and participate. He will motivate them to do what is right, he will validate their issues by giving them a chance to get even in the ring, and if you get out of line, he will participate in disciplinary actions.

    Magnus now makes his way out to the ring. Magnus says that the MVP principle may be the most ridiculous thing he has ever heard. MVP asks if it is more ridiculous than Magnus' title run. Magnus says while Dixie Carter was wasting her time trying to keep control, he took time to take the ball and remained the champion. Magnus says he is more powerful than ever, and introduces his insurance policy and new associate, Abyss. Abyss has a new mask and trench coat. Magnus then says that he agrees with the crowd, because Abyss did sell out. But unlike the Jim Mitchell's and Eric Young's that came before him, he doesn't look at a freak or sideshow that is to be exploited. He says Abyss is part monster and part machine, and the champion has upgraded him. Abyss is motivated by destruction and devastation, but is also motivated by money. Magnus has plenty of money, and he is sharing with Abyss, and that makes them stronger than anything else MVP has ever faced. MVP says he makes valid points, but at Lockdown Magnus was getting his ass kicked until he pulled the monster out of his ass. MVP then says they need someone else out here to deal with this. MVP has to do what is right, ands that means that everyone gets their chance to settle things in the ring, so he calls out the #1 contender for the TNA World Title, Samoa Joe.

    Joe comes out holding his ribs and limping a bit, selling the beat down from the Lockdown PPV. MVP says Joe is here, calm and collected, and not attacking because he believes in MVP. MVP will do what is right going forward. Magnus will defend the title next week against Samoa Joe. And since Magnus pissed off MVP by getting Abyss involved, Joe gets a chance to participate in a match with Abyss to get even RIGHT NOW!

    Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

    Joe spears Abyss to kick off the match, and they head right to commercial.

    After the break, we come back to Abyss beating down Joe in the corner, working the midsection (which was hit by Janice at the PPV). Abyss sends Joe to the corner; Joe sidesteps and hits an enziguri. Face washes by Joe, off the ropes and a knee to the gut by Abyss cuts him off. Abyss chokes out Joe in the ropes, and then beats him down in the corner once again with rights. Neck crank by Abyss, Joe works to his feet, elbows out, chokeslam try by Abyss, Joe fights it off, Atomic drop, big boot, back splash all connect; but Joe is too beat up to follow up with a cover. Abyss with a shot to the gut, clubbing shots to the back follow. Abyss off the ropes, snap slam by Joe follows. Joe with the charging knee in the corner, looks to set Abyss on the ropes, but can't lift him. Head butt by Joe, heads to the second rope, leaps off, caught with the goozle and chokeslamed by Abyss. Abyss to the floor, and grabs Janice (2x4 with nails) from under the ring. He looks to attack, but Eric Young is out and hits a missile dropkick off the top to make the save.

    OFFICIAL RESULT: Abyss @ 10:00 via DQ

  • Young and Abyss brawl, and Young ends up sending Abyss to the floor.

  • Jeremy Borash is backstage and waiting for Bully Ray to arrive, and Angelina Love makes her return, asking if he missed her.

  • Brittany (the former Santana Garrett) debuts next!

  • Borash is waiting on Bully Ray, and Willow appears to do his best Gollum impersonation.

  • We get a video promo for Brittany.

    Brittany vs. Gail Kim w/Tapa

    Kim charges and kicks Brittany's face off with a big boot. They trade rights, but Kim with a back breaker and then mounts and lands rights to Brittany. Kim slams her to the corner, fireman's carry into a slam by Kim and then stands on her throat. Rights by Brittany, but Kim slams her back to the mat. Another fireman's carry, but Brittany counters into a Russian leg sweep, and both ladies are down. Forearms by Brittany follow, Tapa in the ring, and charges the corner, Brittany moves and Tapa smashes into Kim. Brittany slams Kim into Tapa and rolls her up for the win.

    OFFICIAL RESULT: Brittany @ 2:00 via pin

  • Kim and Tapa have issues post match, and then brawl! That relationship is over, Tree slam by Tapa and lands repeated rights onto Kim. Kim says Tapa will pay for what she did.

  • Bully Ray arrives, and Spud, Ion, the BroMans and EC3 all attack. ECS says Ray embarrassed him and his family. Spud then chokes out Ray with his chain and Roode arrives, and calls him a son of a bitch. Roode says Ray screwed him, and now he will find out why it pays to be Roode. He tells them to pick him up and smashes a big sign into his face. "YOU DON'T SCREW WITH BOBBY ROODE!"

  • Back from the commercial as the fans let DJ Zema Ion know that he sucks. How dare they!

  • We get a video of Muta telling Sanada that he is an ambassador to Japanese wrestling, and will be living his dream and going to the US to prove himself. Good luck, we're all counting on you.

    Non-Title Match: The BroMans (Jessie and Robbie) w/DJ Zema Ion vs. Tigre Uno and Sanada

    Jessie and Sanada to begin. Jessie with a slam to Sanada, tags in Robbie, and Sanada works the arm. Tag to Uno, kicks to the arm follow and then chops. Off the ropes, and a clothesline by Robbie turns Uno inside out. Tag back to Jessie, he press slams Uno and does the old over the head press gimmick, Robbie tags in, Jessie slams Uno down and they then try a double team, but Sanada blind tags in and they clean house on the champions. They suplex Jessie onto Robbie after double dropkicking Robbie. Sanada hits a dive, and then backdrops Uno to the floor onto the BroMans. Back into the ring they go and Sanada and Uno hit stereo missile dropkicks off the top rope. Uno takes Jessie to the floor, Moonsault by Sanada onto Robbie and that is all.

    OFFICIAL RESULT: Tigre Uno and Sanada @ 3:00 via pin

  • We see Bully Ray recovering backstage. He grabs his chain, and walks off, and he is not in a good mood.

  • Madison and Velvet talk backstage, and discuss Lockdown. They discus the fact that Angelina Love is back. Sky looked shocked.

  • The BroMans are pissed that they lost their match. Bully Ray then arrives and they beg for their lives. PEOPLE GONNA DIE! Bully takes them out with chair shots and then slams Ion into the lockers.

  • Samuel Shaw talks to someone backstage, we cannot see them. He says the person inspired them, and says it is Christy Hemme. He wants her to come to ringside so she can see him end Ken Anderson. He sees the cameraman and freaks out, and chases him off. We never actually saw Hemme.

  • Willow is in the rafters. Must be subletting from Sting.

  • Rockstar Spud and EC3 meet backstage. They will be paying tribute to Dixie Carter tonight. They have to give her a proper send off. Spud has prepared something, he shows it to EC3, who approves. It is giant photo of Dixie.

  • Samoa Joe looks for Eric Young. He finds him and says he knows Young needs revenge, but that is getting in the way of Joe's revenge. He appreciates what Young did, but if he gets into his business again, there will be a problem. Young doesn't care about Joe's threats. He created the problem, but he has to fix what he did. Joe gets a rematch with Magnus next week, and Abyss will be there, but MVP says Young will be chained to Abyss. Bad idea? Sure, but he will fix what he started.


    Rockstar Spud and EC3 make their way to the ring to pay tribute to Dixie Carter. They have the giant image of Dixie with them. Spud is emotional, and asks the crowd to be quiet, as they mourn the loss of Dixie Carter as the head of wrestling operations. He and EC3 are here to mourn the loss, because now an ex-con named MVP has control of things. Boring chants, and EC3 says the more they do that the more Spud wants to cry. Spud then says tonight (EC3 wipes his tears) is about his queen. This is about how Dixie made the fans all feel. How she made young Ethan feel. And how she made her chief of staff feel. That woman, SHUT UP, that woman picked him from obscurity, like the virgin Mary picked up baby Jesus, and made him a man, and that is why he is the great and big man we see today. He has prepared a tribute to her.

    We see the video tribute, which is gloriously over the top.

    Back from the video as EC3 claps, and Spud says that a video is not enough. He has prepared a reading. He puts on his glasses, and recites the lyrics to "Dixie". MVP then makes his appearance. MVP says they have to stop this, and says this is over. He says they are acting like she is dead. But MVP has gotten to know Spud, and he has grown on him, like a fungus or rash or something. He says Spud has been loyal, and he needs someone like Spud on his roster. He knows Spud can be loyal to TNA, and Spud tries to say he is chief of staff. MVP says they do not need that, but they need Spud to fulfill his contract as a wrestler. Spud tries to get out if it, and says they are all bigger than him, even some of the knockouts. MVP says Spud is a lion, and EC3 agrees. MVP then gets him fired up and Spud will face someone debuting tonight. Spud will face Willow. Spud freaks out as EC3 laughs. MVP then says EC3 will face this man next week. Bobby Lashley then appears. Lashley comes out and points. He then hits the ring, and poses for the crowd. EC3 says no, that man is not on the roster. MVP says that is a valid point, so as his first act as director of wrestling operations, he signed Lashley. Spud gets in Lashley's face, and Lashley takes the picture of Dixie and hits Spud with it. Spud then cuddles the picture and spoons with it. Lashley and EC3 have a stare down, and MVP then holds Lashley back as EC3 bails.

  • To the back as Borash catches up with EC3. EC3 says he will do to Lashley what he did to Kurt Angle. Bully Ray then attacks him and lays him out with a cardboard sign.

  • Samuel Shaw comes to the ring with a mannequin that looks like Christy Hemme.

    Street Fight: Samuel Shaw vs. Mr. Anderson

    As Anderson looks to do his announcing himself gimmick, Shaw attacks him on the ramp and the match begins. They brawl their way down to the ringside area, and Shaw slams Anderson into the steps. They continue to brawl at ringside, knees by Shaw and a suplex on the floor follows. Anderson fights back, slamming Shaw to the apron and into the ring they go. They trade rights, and a clothesline by Anderson levels Shaw. Neck breaker by Anderson follows, and then into the Kamikaze roll. Shaw backs off, and Anderson touches Shaw's mannequin. Shaw is pissed, and screams to put her down as Anderson kisses it. He tosses it to Shaw, and then hits the mic check and that is all.

    OFFICIAL RESULT: Mr. Anderson @ 4:00 via pin

  • Anderson then announces himself as the winner.

  • Angelina Love says she is back for one reason and one special person. And you'll find out soon enough.

  • Willow and his umbrella walk.

  • We get a Kenny King promo.

  • Angelina Love makes her way out to the ring. Love gets welcome back chants, and says there were times she thought she would never hear that music again, but it great to be back home in TNA. Since her departure a few years back, her life has changed, and she has grown wiser. She was a young girl in Canada, and her father told her you never realize what you have until you don't have it anymore. She never understood that until she left TNA. Never realized how she would miss the fans or standing in the ring. But she feels he was discussing relationships and sisterhood, and calls out Velvet Sky. Sky makes her way out to the ring and they hug it out. Love says she cannot change the past, and she had wanted to say so much before she left, but didn't. She is not sure why she didn't say it, but when they were apart, she knew she wouldn't have been a success without Sky. "Angel Williams" was struggling in wrestling, but when Angelina Love was born and the Beautiful People were put together, it all worked. Everywhere she goes, she is always asked about the Beautiful People being put back together. She thinks it is time they get back together. Sky says she has been caught off guard, and they have not spoken in a long time. Sky has been through a lot, and while Love was gone, she finally found herself. She got to win the Knockouts title on her own, and she feels as if she is ready to move on. Sky says that there will never be a bond like they had, but, she is ready to move forward. Love says she knows this is unexpected, and sometimes you have to go back to move forward. They have unfinished business, so why not now, why not do now what they couldn't do before. They used to be good, but now they can be great. Sky hears what she is saying, but she needs more time. She loves her, but she needs time to think.

  • Bully Ray walks.

  • Willow walks.

  • Next week, Magnus defends the TNA Title against Samoa Joe and EC3 faces Bobby Lashley.

  • They use a distorted screen gimmick for Willow's entrance.

    Rockstar Spud vs. Willow

    Willow attacks at the bell and slams Spud to the corner. He does it again, and then chokes out Spud in the corner. Willow misses a charge, and Spud with shots to the back of Willow. Belly to back suplex by Willow, followed by a cartwheel into a corner clothesline. Spud rakes the eyes, heads up top and Willow crotches him. Spud into the tree of WHOA, and Willow lays the boots to him. Willow then choke shim out with the boot, and heads to the floor. He gets him umbrella and attacks Spud with it. That's a DQ.

    OFFICIAL RESULT: Rockstar Spud @ 3:00 via DQ

  • Willow continues the attack. The ref tries to stop him, and eats a twist of fate for his troubles. Willow then grabs a ladder and a chair, and tosses them into the ring. Gourd buster suplex on Spud, and then Willow wraps the chair around the leg of Spud. He stomps on the chair repeatedly, Pillmanizing the leg. Willow then climbs the ladder, and hits a splash onto Spud. He landed awkwardly, and looks as if he may have hurt himself. Willow slowly limps backstage.

  • Bully Ray now makes his way out to the ring. He and Willow come face-to-face, and then continue to walk their separate ways.

  • Back from commercial as Bully Ray is in the ring. Bully says he never thought he would hear the Impact Zone cheering his name. They say when you die, your life flashes before you. When Ken Anderson mic checked him into a coffin, his career flashed before his face. He intended to give them a good reason as to why he did what he did at Lockdown. But when he arrived, Roode, EC3, BroMans and that little piece of what ever you call it Spud made this physical. He tried to save Roode from himself. If Roode won, he would have just turned into another Dixie Carter. And the last thing the wrestling business needs is another Dixie Carter. He doesn't want to talk anymore. He took out all of Roode's guys. Now he wants to do what he does best, fight, and fight Bobby Roode right now.

    Bobby Roode makes his way out to the ring. Roode hits the ring and they brawl. Bully runs wild with the flip-flop and fly elbow, and the crowd loves him for it. GET THE TABLES. Bully goes for a table, and slides it into the ring and sets it up. Roode battles back with a spinebuster, and then looks for some revenge. He picks up Bully, who then escapes and lands the Bully cutter. Bully points to the table, grabs Roode, POWERBOMB through the table for Roode. Bully Ray stands tall.

  • End scene.

  • Thanks for reading.

    Have you checked out the Csonka Podcasting Network? If you haven't, you should We run anywhere from 15-20 shows a month, discussing pro wrestling, the world of MMA, the NBA, general sports, popular TV series of the past, bad movies, battle rap, interviews, MMA & Wrestling conference calls and more! Around 10 different personalities take part in the various shows, which all have a different feel; so you'll likely find something you like. All of the broadcasts are free, so go ahead and give a show a try and share the link with your friends on the Twitter Machine and other social media outlets! Running since May of 2011, there are currently over 500 shows in the archive for you to listen to.

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