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411’s WWE Raw Report 3.17.14
411’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report 3.17.14
Batista now makes his way out, walking alone in skinny jeans into the pit of danger. Batista says Triple H may have problems with Daniel Bryan, but he now has bigger issues with Batista. Who does Triple H think he is giving Bryan a shot to be in “his WrestleMania main event”. Batista came back to win the title and he earned his right by winning the Rumble. He didn’t come back to be in a triple threat, so what the hell was Triple H thinking. Triple H asks Batista if he thinks that Bryan really has a chance of winning.
And now Randall Orton, Esquire makes his way to the ring. Orton agrees with Big Dave on this one. Why make it even appear to be a possibility that their match could be a triple threat. Triple H says that he will speak slowly so we can understand, that will not happen, he will not lose to Daniel Bryan. He then asks if Bryan got in their heads, but Batista says not as much as he has gotten into Triple H’s. Orton wants Bryan tonight, in a NO DQ match, and he will prove that he can end the problem, unlike Big Dave. Triple H makes the match. Orton then tells Batista that the people cheer Bryan is because they do not believe in Batista. Orton then says when Batista left, no one cared, and when he returned, no one cared. Batista says the people love Bryan because Orton sucks as champion. He then says he is a paper champion, and only has the titles because of Triple H. They argue as Triple H tries to keep them apart, and then Triple H bails. Batista tells Triple H to “fix this” and Triple H says he is sick of everything of here. Sick of little trolls like Bryan, sick of the fans cheering for him, and sick of Hollywood stars coming back thinking that they can tell him what is right for the business. He is sick of technically gifted guys who are so messed up that they cannot win a match without Triple H holding his hand. Maybe the old man was right, the only one you can trust is yourself. There will be a triple threat match at WrestleMania. Because when Triple H beats Daniel Bryan, TRIPLE H will be the third man!
Swagger and Jimmy to begin. Lock up, go behind and a takedown by Swagger. Counter by Jimmy, off the ropes and a shoulder block to Cesaro. Takedown by Jimmy, leg drop to the balls ala Jeff Hardy and a cover for 2. Chops follow, tag to Jey and they double team Swagger in the corner. Jey works the arm, a right by Swagger and a tag to Cesaro. Knees to Jey, uppercuts in the corner follow. Jey battles back with the forearm, to the corner and a tag back to Jimmy. Rights to Cesaro, a slam follows and then a head butt follows and a cover for 2. Chops follow, back to the corner and a tag back to Jimmy. Side headlock applied, off the ropes and Cesaro catches him into a tilt a whirl back breaker for 2. Head butts by Cesaro, tag to Swagger and he lays the boots to Jimmy. Boot by Jimmy, tags back to Jey and kicks to Swagger and then a leg lariat. To the corner, corkscrew moonsualt by Jey gets 2. He takes out Cesaro, but Swagger gets the big boot, sending Jey to the floor.
Back from commercial as Cesaro is in control. To the corner, tag to Swagger and Jey tries to fight back, but Swagger cuts him off and gets the slam and cover for 2. Swagger bomb follows, and then the double stomp by Cesaro gets 2. Cesaro with boots to Jey, who fires back with rights and chops, but upper cuts by Cesaro stops that. Tag to Swagger, Jey battle back and tosses Cesaro to the floor. Swagger is down, then tries to stop the tag, spin kick by Jey and a tags to Jimmy and Cesaro. Clotheslines to Cesaro, kick to the gut, and then a flying forearm all connect on Cesaro. Samoan clambake follows, and a cover gets 2. Cesaro with the double leg, but the swing is stopped by a superkick from Jimmy. Swagger to the floor, Samoan drop on Cesaro for 2. Jey now heads up top, Cesaro is down, but Swagger then pulls him to the floor. Swagger in, eats a double superkick. Dive onto Swagger on the floor. Dive onto Cesaro is STOPPED by a sick uppercut! Neutralizer follows and that is all!
OFFICIAL RESULT: The Real Americans @ 12:00 via pin
Christian is on commentary, and is in the “Andre the Giant 30 Man, Over the Top Rope, Memorial, Battle Royal, Brother, Dude, Jack”. O’Neil attacks at the bell, off the ropes and a clothesline by Sheamus. Rights in the corner, but O’Neil back with clubbing shots to the back. Sheamus with a bog boot and then a clothesline to the floor. Shoulder block off the apron follows, but O’Neil slams Sheamus to the post and follows with a side back breaker. Back into the ring, overhead slam by O’Neil, who barks in celebration. To the floor and O’Neil grabs Hornswoggle and tosses him into the ring. O’Neil picks him up and slaps him around a bit. Sheamus back in, O’Neil picks up Horswoggle and Sheamus catches him after O’Neil tries to toss him to the mat. He then slams Hornswoggle into O’Neil. Clubbing shots to the chest by Sheamus follows. Sheamus with the powerslam, and then hits the brogue kick and that is all.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Sheamus @ 4:00 via pin
The Wyatt Family appears on the big screen as Wyatt wears a Cena shirt. He says kids believe in superheroes because they want to know that the world is good, but they are too young to know it is all a lie; Wyatt says his childhood was not all sunshine and flowers. He got scars, blades are sharp, and fire burns, and everything you love will wither away and die. He can be like Cena, he can kiss babies, he can shake hands, he can go home to his plastic girlfriend and live in a castle. Wyatt says he is different, and at WM, he doesn’t care if he dies, as long as the world sees Cena in the way he does. Follow the buzzards.
Orton attacks at the bell. To the corner, they trade shots, off the ropes and a knee to the gut by Bryan. Bryan to the floor, drags Orton to the corner and posts his knee. Bryan posts the knee once again, back into the ring and a dropkick by Bryan. Uppercuts are traded, Orton takes control and takes Bryan to the apron and lands clubbing shots to the chest. Orton back in, uppercuts follow. Off the ropes, Orton avoids a kick by Bryan dropkick shim to the floor. Suicide dive connects for Bryan, but then Orton grabs a kendo stick from under the ring and levels Bryan. Orton hits a belly to back suplex on Bryan, onto the announce table…
Back from commercial as Orton keeps control, using the kendo stick. To the floor, and Orton slams Bryan crotch first into the steel post. Orton then follows with the 3.0 back breaker on the floor. Back into the ring, and Orton with rights and then stomps away on Bryan. Rights by Orton in the corner, and then Orton mocks the crowd a bit. To the corner, backflip counter by Bryan. He fires up, and hits a shotgun dropkick on Orton. Sets Orton up top, a RANA follows for Bryan and a cover gets 2. Bryan now gets the kendo stick, stick shots and kicks follow for Bryan as the crowd chants YES along with the strikes. Head kick by Bryan and a cover gets 2. Bryan heads up top, but crotched by Orton. Orton follows, superplex connects and Orton covers for 2. Stomps by Orton, looks for the hangman’s DDT and gets it. Orton poses for the crowd, drops down but Bryan rolls to the floor. Orton looks to follow but Bryan nails him with the kendo stick. Pulls Orton to the floor and repeated shots with the kendo stick. Shotgun dropkick sends Orton to the timekeeper’s position. Orton fights back by slamming Bryan off the barricade, and then grabs a chair. Nails Bryan in the gut and then in the back. Back into the ring they go, Orton has the chair, but Batista hits the ring and spears Orton. Knee plus by Bryan to Batista and then Bryan covers Orton for the win.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Daniel Bryan @ 14:00 via pin
Fandango dances around a bit, so Goldust crawls over towards him, thusly freaking out Fandango. He then blows kisses to Summer, which causes Fandango to attack. Goldust mostly plays mind games, off the ropes and a shoulder block and dancing by Fandango. Hip toss and an atomic drop by Goldust. Another, he does wacky dancing and then lands the uppercut. Summer yells at Goldust, so Goldust does some Saturday Night Live dancing, and scares her into Cody’s arms. Fandango attacks from behind, and it appears that Summer was smitten with Cody. Back to action as Fandango slams Goldust to the corner and covers for 2. Fandango chokes out Goldust in the ropes, and then works a cravat. Goldust fights to his feet, escapes and then delivers rights to Fandango. To the corner, reversal and Goldust hits hard and falls to the mat, allowing Fandango to cover for 2. Goldust fights back, gets a RANA off the second rope and BOTH man are down. Fandango then rolls over and covers for 2. They blow a suplex spot, Goldust looks to have been shaken up on the RANA spot. They finally get it, Fandango misses the Alabama jam. Curtain call but Goldust and that is all.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Goldust @ 6:00 via pin
Cameron and Tamina t begin. Arm drag by Cameron, to the corner and rights to Tamina. Tamina then slams her down, and covers for 2. Knee drop by Tamina, and another follows, she covers for 2. Tamina tosses her coat onto Cameron and tags in AJ. AJ works a Chinlock, and also gets a body scissors. Cameron fights to her feet, elbows out, but AL slams her to the mat. Tag to Tamina, she lays the boots to Cameron and then slams her down and covers for 2. Cameron fights out of a Samoan drop, and then hits a dropkick. Tags to AJ and Naomi. Naomi with a dropkick and another follows. Nails Tamina, sending her to the floor. Full nelson bomb follows and a cover gets 2 as Tamina makes the save. Cameron in, Tamina tosses her to the floor. Naomi dropkicks Tamina to the floor. AJ gets a hanging guillotine on Naomi, but Naomi slams her down and then gets the split legged moonsault for the win.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Cameron and Naomi @ 4:00 via pin
Big E and Ryback to begin. Lock up, to the corner and Ryback lays in the boots to Big E. Rights follow, and Ryback is in control. Off the ropes, counters and a big shoulder block by Big E. Corner spear by Big E, to the other corner and eats a knee from Ryback. Off the ropes and a belly to belly by Big E for 1. Tag to Henry, and corner splashes by Big E and Henry to Ryback. Ryback tags to Axel, big boot by Henry and then tags out to Ziggler. Rights by Ziggler, and a neck breaker follows. A cover gets 2. Knee to the gut by Axel, tag to Ryback and they beat down Ziggler in the corner. Slam by Ryback, and a cover for 2. Ziggler avoids a charge, dropkicks to Axel and then Del Rio. The faces all in the ring and we head to a commercial…
Back from commercial as Del Rio tosses Ziggler back into the ring and covers for 2. Tag to Sandow, he lays the boots to Ziggler and then chokes him out in the ropes. Head butt by Sandow, tag to Ryback and he gets a stalling suplex on Ziggler, but Ziggler fights out and gets a roll up for 2. Clothesline by Ryback and he covers for 2. Tag back to Axel, he mocks Ziggler a bit, slapping him and talking trash. Axel misses a right, DDT by Ziggler connects and BOTH men are down. Sandow tags in and stops Ziggler from getting a tag. Sandow covers for 2. Side headlock by Sandow, Ziggler fights to his feet, escapes but Sandow with knees to slow him down. Sandow counters a dropkick and catapults Ziggler to the corner. Ziggler sidesteps a Sandow charge and both are down. Tag to Show. Show with clotheslines, off the ropes and a backdrop to Sandow. Corner splash follows, shoulder block and then Show celebrates. Chops to Axel, but Ryback in to stop that and Big E clotheslines him to the floor. Enziguri by Del Rio to send Big E to the floor. It has broken down. Fameasser to Del Rio, Ziggler tossed over the corner to the post and to the floor. Show in with Sandow, chokeslam, done.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Big Show, Big E, Dolph Ziggler and Mark Henry @ 12:00 via pin
Didn’t we see this last week? Anyway, Wyatt attacks at the bell and beats down Kofi in the corner. Off the ropes, and a dropkick by Kofi follows. Wyatt back with rights, taking back control. Kofi stops a charge with boots to the face. Kofi up top, misses a leaps but lands on his feet. Wyatt then turns him inside out with the charging cross body. Mounted rights by Wyatt, and then a gut buster follows. Kofi tries to fight back, but Wyatt with shots to the gut in the corner. Charging corner splash follows for Wyatt. Sister Abigail connects, say goodnight Kofi.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Bray Wyatt @ 3:00 via pin
Stephanie appears and says what he did last week was illegal and disrespectful. She is no pressing charges, you spit in the face of her family, and you suffer the consequences. She calls out the cops. Triple H and Stephanie argue as the cops head towards the ring. She is pissed that he respects Bryan. The cops tackle Bryan and cuff him. Triple H then tells the cops to stop, and says that this is not what he wants. After all they aren’t even real cops. He tells them to leave. He is really looking forward to doing this himself. Triple H attacks the handcuffed Bryan and pummels him. Stephanie is pleased by this turn of events as they spill to the floor and Bryan is tossed into the steps. Bryan tries to fight back, but Triple H slams him onto the announce table. Triple H then tosses Bryan to the barricade as Stephanie mockingly chants YES in his face. Triple H with more rights and again slams him to the barricade. Bryan keeps trying to fight back, and then Triple H tries to DROWN HIM in the water bucket at ringside. Triple H slams him on the announce table once again as Stephanie mocks the YES chants. More rights by Triple H and then he mocks the YES chants. Stephanie then gets to slap Bryan a few times. Bryan yells that she hits like a girl, so she slaps him repeatedly. Triple H lays him on the apron by the post, grabs a chair and destroys him with it. Stephanie appears turned on by this, and stares at Bryan as Triple H poses in the ring over him. And then we get the pedigree on Bryan as Triple H mouths “YES, YES, YES”. Triple H and Stephanie pose. He says this is our ring, our house, our show and it belongs to us. There is no YES movement.
WWE Raw Post-Show (From The WWE Network)
Larry Csonka is a Pisces and enjoys rolling at jiu jitsu class with Hotty McBrownbelt, cooking, long walks on the beach, Slingo and the occasional trip to Jack in the Box. He is married to a soulless ginger and has two beautiful daughters who are thankfully not soulless gingers; and is legally allowed to marry people in 35 states. He has been a wrestling fan since 1982 and has been writing for 411 since May 24th, 2004; contributing over 3,000 columns, TV reports and video reviews to the site.
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