411’s WWE Velocity Report: 11.05.05

Velocity comes on the heels of a pretty interesting week for WWE. Some highs, some lows, but they delivered when they needed to do so. Let’s get to the show- but first, some rankings. The key is as follows: wrestler’s rank, last week’s rank, the direction they’ve moved, the wrestler, and the amount of wins they’ve garnered in the past ten weeks.

1 1 = Holly 3
1 2 ^ Dean 3
1 2 ^ Vito 3
1 2 ^ Super Crazy 3
5 2 v Kennedy 2
5 6 ^ Basham 2
5 6 ^ Kendrick 2
5 6 ^ Psychosis 2
5 6 ^ Juventud 2
5 11 ^ Sylvain 2
5 11 ^ Kash 2
12 6 v Nunzio 1
12 11 v Scotty 2 Hotty 1
12 11 v Booker T 1
12 11 v Regal 1
12 11 v Burchill 1
12 11 v Benoit 1
12 11 v Mercury 1
12 11 v Nitro 1
12 11 v Christian 1
12 NEW ^ Lashley 1

Woohoo! Simon Dean is tied for first!

Kid Kash versus Brian Kendrick

Kash shoves Kendrick to start, so Kendrick tackles him and punches away. Kash gets a headlock, but Kendrick reverses into one of his own. Kash throws him off, but Kendrick comes back with a leg lariat. He follows up with a few armdrags, then grabs an armlock. Kash gets up and tries to slap his way out of it, but Kendrick takes him to the corner. Kendrick whips, Kash springs over, Kash goes up top and flips off (landing on his feet), then slams Kendrick knee-first to the mat. From here, he grabs a leglock. Kendrick escapes, so Kash slides out of the ring and jams his leg against the apron. He then gets an elbow drop down off the apron to the leg. Kash applies a stepover kneelock, but Spanky kicks him off. Kash grabs the leg once more, but Kendrick reverses with a monkey flip. Kash throws Kendrick into the ropes, jarring him and springing him back against the mat. Kash then applies an inverted Figure Four Leglock, but Spanky gets to the rope. Kash butt-slams the leg, then gets knee-rams for two. Another cover, another two count. Kicks and punches are traded. Kash goes for the leg, but Kendrick rolls him up for two. Kendrick gets a few headbutts, knocking Kash out of the ring. He tries to suplex him back in, but Kash floats over and gets a rollup. Kendrick rolls through, though, covering for two. Kendrick gets a cradle back suplex for another two. Sliced Bread #2 is blocked, and Kash gets a low dropkick and a springing moonsault for the win.

Winner: Kid Kash
Match Time: 5:59
Rating: ***1/4
Commentary: A good match, though I preferred the Paul London encounter from last week. It’s just annoying that they give these guys psuedo-pushes that never make it to Smackdown. But of course, I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.

Sylvan versus Joey Ryan

Lockup to start, and Sylvan backs Ryan into the corner. He breaks clean, then kicks Ryan as he exits. Headlock takeover, and Sylvan retains the hold on the mat. Ryan gets out with a headscissors, but Sylvan kips up. Circling, and another lockup. Sylvan gets an armlock, and he turns it into a hammerlock. Ryan elbows out, causing Sylvan to slap him with anger (he hit his face, you see). Ryan fights back, but Sylvan whips him. Ryan comes back with a kick, but Sylvan gets a spinebuster and goes a-stompin’. Ryan falls to the outside, and Sylvan whips him back in. Sylvan gets a suplex, then vogues just a tad. Whip to the corner, then a running knee. Sylvan gets a back suplex for two, then the modified VELOCITY LOCK! Ryan gets up, but Sylvan slams him. Ryan dodges the kneedrop, then dodges a corner charge and gets a rollup for two. Two dropkicks by Ryan, and he goes up top. High crossbody, by Sylvan rolls through for a long two. Sylvan nails the Showoff (wristlock into a DDT) for the win. Post-match, a woman takes photos of Sylvan.

Winner: Sylvan
Match Time: 4:24
Rating: **3/4
Commentary: Pretty good for a squash. It should be noted that Ryan got several “Joey” chants, and Sylvan got little heat.

The Dicks versus James Prentice and Kevin Antonio

Oh yes, that’s right. The Dicks wear Chippendales-style bowties, which make them look like Well Dunn. Chad locks up with Antonio to start, then backs him into the corner. Antonio ducks a punch, but Chad kicks away at him before tagging James. James gets a bodyslam, but misses an elbow drop. Antonio hits an armdrag, but James outbrawls him. Tag back to Chad, and James whips him into a kick for one. Chad throws Antonio to the corner and tags again, and he gets an assisted-whip avalanche. Modified VELOCITY LOCK, and James drags Antonio to the corner by his hair and tags again. Chad Dick gets a chinlock, then tags James, who hits a kneedrop. James runs to the ropes and comes back with a kick for two. Snapmare, and James hits the modified VELOCITY LOCK! Or a VELOCITY CHINLOCK, if you will. Antonio gets up, but Dick clobbers him down. He floats over a suplex and tags Prentice, but James dropkicks him and tags Chad. The Dicks hit a double shoulder pancake for the win, then nail Antonio with the Death Sentence post-match. One covers, and the other makes a three count.

Winners: The Dicks
Match Time: 4:02
Rating: **3/4
Commentary: Started off pretty lousy, but it picked up. The Dicks’ offense was a little one dimensional, but it worked.

On Smackdown, MNM beat Batista and Eddie Guerrero. There was no turn, no clean victory, and nobody looked good. But I believe I’ve already covered that.

The Mexicools (Psicosis and Super Crazy) versus William Regal and Paul Burchill

He’s “Psicosis” this week, so let’s run with it. Crazy and Regal start off with a lockup, and Regal gets a wristlock. He takes Crazy to the mat, but the Insane Luchadore gets up and rolls out. Regal tags Burchill, who kicks Crazy out of a test of strength. Super Crazy reverses a hiptoss into an armdrag, then gets a monkey flip, a hurricanrana, and a low dropkick for two. Tag to Psicosis, and the Mexicools hit the rolling leglock for two. Burchill gets a knee to Psicosis’s gut, but Psicosis rolls out of a slam. Regal gets a cheap kick from the apron, and Burchill lands a kneedrop for two. Tag to Regal, who gets quick knees and punches. Tag back to Burchill, who applies a chinlock. Psicosis fights out, but Burchill grabs a front facelock and tags Regal. Regal hits a release Dragon Suplex for two, then tags Burchill. Double team on Psicosis as the referee is distracted. Burchill squeezes him in the ropes, then gets a brainbuster. Tag to Regal, but Psicosis tries to fight his way out of the heel corner. He whips Regal with a wristlock, then makes the hot tag to Crazy, who gets dropkicks all around. Slam on Regal, and the moonsault gets two when Burchill breaks. Burchill and Psicosis fight out, and Crazy goes for a sunset flip. Juvi knocks him back with a springboard dropkick, and Super Crazy gets the pin.

Winners: The Mexicools
Match Time: 5:18
Rating: **3/4
Commentary: A little flatter than I expected, considering the good tag-team dynamic these guys have built up (and their good work with one another in the four-way last week). Still, worth watching.

Not a tremendous show this week, but nothing bad. See you at Smackdown!