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411’s WWE Superstars Report 5.8.14

May 8, 2014 | Posted by Jacob Ziegler

Championship Roll Call:
Undisputed WWE World Champion: Daniel Bryan
US Champion: Sheamus
IC Champion: Bad News Barrett
Unified Diva’s Champion: Paige
WWE World Tag Team Champions: The Usos

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411’s WWE Superstars Report 04.08.14

Match times are not exact.

Manziel is STILL on the board.

Opening title sequence! YEAH!

Byron Saxton and Tom Phillips on commentary.

The Usos vs. 3MB (Jinder Mahal/Drew McIntyre) w/ Heath Slater and Hornswoggle

Jinder is taped up from the WeeLC match which is a hilarious touch. Dude’s injured from a match he managed. I LOVE IT. That bump did rule though. Drew and Jimmy start off and chian back and forth. Jimmy throws him to the ropes but Drew comes back with a big shoulderblock. He runs back but Jimmy gets to his feet, blocks a hip toss, and hits a clothesline. Then he tags in Jey. Drew takes down Jey quickly and then tags in Jinder but Jey immediately goes after his injured shoulder. He tags Jimmy back in and the two hit a double back elbow followed by a double elbow drop. McIntyre runs in but he gets dumped over the top and there are DOUBLE SUCIDE DIVES…. Nah, just a tease. Hornswoggle gets super mad at the rest of his band members for running away from the threat of the dive. What. A. Diva.

Don’t try this at home!

Back from commercial and Drew is eating chops in the ring. He takes quick control though with a high knee on Jimmy. He fights him into the corner and throws a big ol’ punch followed by one more. He gets Jimmy tied up in the ropes and rakes his eyes across the top rope. He then tags in Jinder and the two do some double team work. Jinder gets a neckbreaker but it only gets him a two count. Jinder throws Jimmy down to the ground and throws a few stomps before tagging Drew back in. Jinder tags in Drew who drops the leg for a two count. Jimmy begins to fight back. He dives for a tag but Drew catches him and throws him back and hits a huge kick to Jimmy’s face for just a two count. Heath and Hornswoggle distract the ref for a moment so Drew can cheat a little and beat on Jimmy in the ropes. He tags in Jinder who continues the beatdown on Jimmy. The ref is distracted and HORNSWOGGLE GETS A MOVE IN! WHAT A HEEL! WHAT A HAIRCUT! Jinder gets in a rear chinlock and Jimmy starts to fight to his feet, feeding off the power of the crowd in true babyface fashion. Jimmy gets whipped to the corner but immediately runs out and his an enziguri to Jinder’s face! JIMMY GETS THE TAG TO JEY! HOUSE! OF! FIRE! Flying clotheslines and calf kicks and a SAMOAN DROP! WOOOOOOOOOOOO! Jey hits a huge running double knees in the corner on Drew. Hornswoggle and Heath both yell at him to move but he doesn’t listen and gets a huge hip check in the corner from Jey for a two before it’s broken up by Jinder. Jimmy runs in and throws Jinder out and follows him out with a huge over the top dive. He then goes to superkick Hornswoggle who runs away right into Heath’s crotch! Superkick to Drew in the ring from Jey! Jimmy tags in! Top rope splash for three! It’s all over!

OFFICIAL RESULT: The Usos @ 8:00 via pinfall (Top Rope Splash)
RATING: **
Thoughts: I liked this. Superstars actually consistently surprises me. But I’ve always been a fan of the Usos and 3MB is the best jobber group in the WWE. They’ve got wrestling ability, ESPECIALLY Drew. So it’s nice to see them get these good length TV matches on the Network exclusives. It’s nice to see that Superstars feels like a real show again, even if a lot of it is still Raw recap.

No change in our Johnny Football monitoring.

They show that creepy kid singing from Extreme Rules. I hate this. It’s nightmare fuel and it was just terrible booking all around. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT.

Here’s a commercial for the Network! Refer a friend! Get a gift card! Buy our t-shirts!

They air the Wyatt promo from Raw. Bray just wants to watch this world burn. He’s also going to kidnap your children in the middle of the night, so be careful.

They show the John Cena response promo from Main Event. This is another example of proper utilization of the Network. Make Main Event live and have a Cena promo and everybody cares again. Good stuff on WWE’s part.

50 Years of the WWE. Buy the book!

They recap the battle royal from Raw with Sheamus winning. You all should watch the beginning of that match again. Santino runs around like an idiot and it’s brilliant. They also show HHH coming out and booking the Shield against the Wyatt Family in the Raw main event.

They show a very well put together Paige hype video.

Watch Legends House! Entertainment Weekly calls it “Genuinely funny!” If that isn’t a glowing recommendation, I don’t know what is.

On Friday, we get Dean Ambrose and Sheamus one on one for the United States Championship.

Just so we’re all aware, Manziel remains undrafted. And Ha Ha Clinton-Dix just went to the Packers.

Paige vs. Alicia Fox

Paige takes control early and rag dolls Fox around a bit. Why is Alicia Fox one of the few that gets to keep her last name? Food for thought. Paige goes for a cover and gets an early two. She throws a strike and Fox goes down by the ropes. Paige gets Fox wrapped up in the ropes and throws a few nice knees. She goes for another cover and once again only gets a two. Fox powders to try and regain her composure. Paige follows her out and Fox gives her a tilt a whirl backbreaker on the outside for her troubles. She throws Paige back in and throws a few boots her way. She goes for a cover and Paige kicks out. Fox locks in a bow and arrow and then cranks it back into a modified surfboard before crashing Paig to the mat and locking in a modified camel clutch. Apparently Alicia Fox is now a submission expert. Fox picks up Paige and hits a scoop slam. She then walks around flexing her pythons. Paige gets a roll up for two! DON’T BE COCKY ALICIA! YOU GOTTA STAY IN THIS! Paige hits a dropkick and then a tiltawhirl headscissors for two. She picks up Alicia and hits three straight short arm clotheslines. She charges Fox in the corner but Fox comes out with an elbow. She climbs to the second but Paige yanks her off. NONE OF THAT IN MY HOUSE. She locks in the Scorpion Cross Lock and that is it.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Paige @ 5:00 via submission (Modified Scorpion Cross Lock)
RATING: *3/4
Thoughts: Paige continues to impress. She’s going to bring the division back, especially once AJ is back in the mix.

Buy Wrestlemania on DVD and Blu-Ray! Or just get the Network. Seriously. BUY THE NETWORK!

Watch Total Divas! Eva Marie and Summer Rae are gonna have a confrontation! MUST SEE TV!

They recap the Shield and Wyatts from Monday complete with Evolution beatdown.

MANZIEL ENDS UP ON THE BROWNS! (Go Patriots!)

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Jacob Ziegler