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411’s WWE Superstars Report 5.15.14

May 15, 2014 | Posted by Jacob Ziegler

Championship Roll Call:
Undisputed WWE World Champion: Daniel Bryan
US Champion: Sheamus
IC Champion: Bad News Barrett
Unified Diva’s Champion: Paige
WWE World Tag Team Champions: The Usos

 photo wwesuperstars_zpsa01da422.png

411’s WWE Superstars Report 05.15.14

Match times are not exact.

Opening title sequence! YEAH!

Kofi Kingston vs. Titus O’Neil

I’m all about the Titus O’Neil Superstars run of 2014. He’s gonna dog bark his way right up to the top of the B shows. Kofi starts off with kicks and Titus gets an angry look on his face, charges, and throws Kofi into the corner. He goes for a swing but Kofi ducks out of the ring to the apron and yanks Titus down over the top rope. He gets back in the ring and charges again but Titus nails him with a boot. Titus lifts Kofi up and throws him into the corner. He throws some strikes down in the corner and the ref pulls him off. Titus gets Kofi in a modified powerbomb position and brings him down onto his knee for a 2. That move’s a keeper. He picks Kofi up into a bear hug and begins to work it over. Kofi begins to elbow out and hits a headbutt. He backs up to the ropes and comes back with a kick. He goes again and tries to duck under Titus’ legs but Titus lifts Kofi up and hits a BIG OL’ NORTHERN LARIAT! YEAH TITUS! He works Kofi over on the ground and just punishes Kofi. He then does an imitation of Kofi’s claps with no emotion whatsoever and there better be a gif of that soon. He picks up Kofi and rag dolls him some before throwing him back to the ground. He covers and gets another 2 count. Titus charges Kofi in the corner but Kofi moves. Titus follows and eats a big stiff chop followed by a dropkick. He stumbles into the corner and Kofi goes for a splash but Titus catches him. He goes for a running powerslam but Kofi counters into a sunset flip for 2! He then hits a big top rope crossbody for 2! Kofi’s on a roll! Kofi goes and hits a springboard clothesline followed by the Boom Drop. He sets up for the Trouble In Paradise but Titus catches him and hits a huge backbreaker. It’s only a 2! THIS MATCH HAS MORE TWISTS AND TURNS THAN A SOAP OPERA! Titus goes to charge Kofi in the corner but he catches a boot. He runs back and eats the Trouble in Paradise. Kofi gets the win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Kofi Kingston @ 5:00 via pin fall (Trouble in Paradise)
RATING: **
Thoughts: Superstars has officially made me a Titus O’Neil fan. I truly believe that he has great upside if he can consistently get on TV. Primetime Players proved he has personality and these matches have proved that he’s capable in ring. I hope he’s got a future because I’m truly becoming a fan.

Lawler interviews Kofi after the match. He asks how it feels to get back to winning. Kofi says it feels great and that any time you can beat a guy like Titus O’Neil you take it. Lawler asks how good it feels to put Rusev in his rear view mirror. Kofi says he doesn’t want to talk about Rusev. He wants to know if anybody out there is willing to cook him a nice southern style meal because he’s hungry and it’s time to celebrate. What a weird way to wrap that up.

Sin Cara vs. Drew McIntyre tonight!

They do a little recap of the Extreme Rules finish between Bray and Cena and the ongoing feud between them. It’s truly upsetting that they’ve turned the Cam Newton commercial kid into the demon’s spawn. Seriously, all he wanted to do was be better than Cam Newton and now he’s been brainwashed and has a nightmare inducing voice. Bray Wyatt has ruined the life of a child who was sure to be the number one pick in the draft one day.

Refer your friends to the WWE Network and make money to use on WWE merchandise! What a deal!

Did you know that the WWE App has been downloaded 11,000,000 times? I bet you Michael Cole is responsible for teaching every one of those people how to download it too.

They show The Usos and John Cena versus The Wyatt Family from Raw two weeks ago.

They show the Wyatt promo from last week on Raw.

They show Daniel Bryan’s bad mechanic work and Brie Bella’s awful acting from Raw on two weeks ago. Stick to your day job! Never try and fix cars for a living! EVER! AND WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST RUN KANE OVER?! YOU KNEW HE WAS GOING TO SIT UP! IT WAS INEVITABLE!

Just Bolieve!

They recap all the Daniel Bryan stuff from Raw this past week.

The state of the WWE World Heavyweight Championship will be addressed this Monday on Raw.

Legend’s House commercial. GET WITH IT!

Sin Cara w/ Los Matadores and El Torito vs. Drew McIntyre w/ Hornswoggle, Jinder Mahal, and Heath Slater

There better be an eight man tag between all of these guys one day. I’d be all about it. Hornswoggle starts the match with multiple slaps to Drew’s face to pump him up. Drew gets into the ring and we get going. Sin Cara starts up with a few early quick pins all for 1. Drew delivers a kick to Sin Cara’s midsection and locks in a side headlock. He whips him off the ropes and hits the shoulder blocks and they run through the universal until Sin Cara hits a fancy little arm drag followed by a monkey flip out of the corner followed by yet another arm drag! LUCHA! Drew tries to arm drag out of the arm drag (confusing I know) but Sin Cara stays locked in. Drew tries to get Sin Cara in the corner but Sin Cara moonsaults out and lands on his feet and sends Drew to the outside of the ring! 3MB quickly rushes to check on him as the Matadores and El Torito stare them down. To commercial we go!

Please, don’t try this at home.

We come back and Sin Cara is beating on Drew in the ropes. He goes for a springboard flippy do but Drew lays him out because that’s not going down in his house. Drew begins laying in stomps and even Hornswoggle gets a little cheap shot in while the ref isn’t looking. Drew goes for a pin but only gets 2. Drew locks on an arm hold and then goes for a back suplex but Sin Cara counters into a crossbody for 2. He runs at Drew and Drew counters into a tilt a whirl backbreaker also for 2! Drew then lays in punches, showing some of that famous Scottish aggression. Drew rushes Sin Cara in the corner but Sin Cara pops out with a tornado DDT! The Matadores are going nuts and El Torito is going even crazier! Both men make it to their feet and Sin Cara hits a springboard crossbody followed by a headscissors. He whips Drew off and hits a handspring back elbow. It’s only a 2! Sin Cara gets Drew in the corner but Drew comes out with a big flying front dropkick. Hornswoggle begins to taunt Torito on the outside and gets in his face and Torito chases him under the ring! Heath Slater begins to pull on Torito and then Diego and then Jinder and then Fernando AND NOW ALL SIX MEN ARE UNDER THE RING! WHAT IS GOING ON?! Jinder and Heath come out. The Matadores come out. El Torito then comes out…. WITH HORNSWOGGLE’S PANTS! And out comes Hornswoggle with his boxers not realizing what has occurred. And while all of this is going on, Sin Cara and Drew lay lifeless after the vicious front dropkick. Hornswoggle books it backstage and Sin Cara hits an enziguri followed by a senton bomb to finally get the 3 on Drew.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Sin Cara @ 8:00 via pin fall (Senton Bomb)
RATING: **1/2
Thoughts: I really liked this, although I could have dealt without the comedy that seemed to just go on forever. Drew’s a totally solid hand and so is the new Sin Cara. Enjoyable stuff.

Watch Wrestlemania XXX!

They recap all The Shield and Evolution stuff starting with Ambrose losing his WWE title and ending with the stuff from Raw.

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Jacob Ziegler