Double M’s WWE Raw Recap – 11.15.04

The views and opinions expressed herein are those solely of the author and may not necessarily reflect those of the rest of the human race.

Hey you. And yeah, you too. Thanks again for checking in for…whoa, the last Raw show I’ll Recap. How time flies when you’re having fun, aye?

Even while being in the midst of an investigation, I still have time to take a deep breath before firmly inserting my foot in my mouth…

Of course it is a good thing Edge & Snitsky took the stances they did, because now we know what will follow Survivor Series. I call it now – no fucking way Randy Orton and his crew are winning this one.
– From last week’s Double M Raw Recap

And what do they turn around and do but make me look like a complete moron. Turns out that Randy and his crew pulled it off when every single thing about the booking suggested that they shouldn’t have.

In all honesty, I’m glad they did. Even if I do have “dunce” tattooed on my ass, I’d rather that than to sit through one more phase of “Heels Ruin Raw” like I did after last year’s Series. I probably would puked my guts out and been very thankful to give up this gig.

Alas, it’s about to starting getting really good and I have to depart. With that in mind, the intro ends here because I’m looking forward to enjoying this…

Okay, This Is Boring – What Else Is There To Read?

Firstly, we update (the almost completed) 411’s 10 Hottest Wrestling Women:

Tracy Brooks
Stacy Keibler
”Cuty” Suzuki
Sherri Martel
The Skag Whore
Kimberly Page
Stephanie McMahon
Trish Stratus

”The Ric Flair to his Arn Anderson”? Randle oughtta know that should go the other way around.

Nute looks at the Sole Survivor, Rutherford looks at both sides of the show, and Sean Carless just laughs the whole thing off.

MSD gives a great farewell to a unique guy. I’m actually surprised he went this soon.

Raw – 11.15.04

Show opens with La Resistance in the ring and JR and Lawler are almost shitting themselves wondering who’;s gonna run the show—

And it’s a bandaged-up Maven. I knew I’d get stuck with the shittiest one for my last Raw.

Maven welcomes everyone in Indianapolis to Raw and reminds everyone that he and his team will be running the show during Eric Bischoff’s vacation. Maven previews his show tonight:

Edge & Christian (!!) vs. Shelton Benjamin & Chris Benoit

The Coach vs. JR (oh dear Lord, no…)

Christy Hemme vs. Stacy Keibler in a Lingere Pillow Fight (gratuitous T&A, natch)

And Maven vs. Triple-H for the World’s Heavyweight Championship (how did I know?)

But he hasn’t forgotten about La Resistance, as they’ll defend the belts also – agsinst 2 teams!

La Resistance (Sylvan Gernier & Robert Conway) © vs. Rhyno & Tajiri vs. Eugene & William Regal – 3-Team Elimination Match for the World Tag Team Championships.

Stamina may be the name of the game here, putting Regal at the advantage. Both of La Resistance match him though thanks to their conditioning, but that does nothing for a stiff kick to the grill before getting run over (courtesy of Rhyno & Tajiri). Tajiri and Eugene make an interesting pairing off to see how old-school emulation meets new-age martial arts and the result is a near clinic. I wanna see more of those 2 as we go to:

Commercial.

Back to more Eugene vs. Tajiri (thank you!) before Conway and Regal tag in. Tajiri almost seems mad at the interruption and kicks La Resistance out of his ring. Rhyno is in to continue the punishment but La Resistance go back to what brought them to the dance (pure sneakiness) and eliminate Rhyno & Tajiri. The duo then work on the “weakest link” of the remaining team, but Eugene’s not willing to play nice. La Resistance still use their superior brainpower (duhr) to maintain control until Eugene proves too powerful. Regal, never willing to play nice in the first place, sees and evades the illegal use of the Quebec flag, and that’s the beginning of the end…

Finish comes when Regal knees Grenier straight in the head before Eugene hits the People’s Elbow for the 3-count pinfall victory. La Resistance is eliminated and William Regal & Eugene are the new World Tag Team Champions, and it’s about time.

Post-match, Eugene celebrates with a group of kids, ala JunkYard Dog. Excellent choice before:

Commercial.

Back to In The Back, Maria asks Regal where Eugene is and Regal says he’s calming down. Regal dedicates the victory to his dad and Eugene enters, dumping milk onto Maria in celebration. Regal then slyly makes a pig out of himself cleaning it off. THAT was pretty well done.

Elsewhere In The Back, Maven hits on a girl named Candice before entering his office to find…World Heavyweight Champion Triple-H. Triple-H can help Maven – by offering him membership in Evolution in lieu of the title match. Maven declines and Triple-H pushes the bargain a little with some sweet talk and an intimation that Snitsky’s beating on him last night may be too much for him to handle. Triple-H twists Maven’s head Right Round Like A Record some more before we go to:

Commercial.

Back to Replay of Last Night: Lita fucking destroys Trish~!

Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita seems to have a little more confidence and aggression after finally being able to take out her frustrations and shows it against Molly in a near-squash.

Finish comes when Lita locks on a Sleeper Hold (?) and Molly taps out (?!!), giving Lita the submission victory.

Post-match, WWE Women’s Champion Trish Stratus is out, wearing a noseguard and whining like it. Trish is gonna make her pay right NOW!

In The Ring, Molly attacks Lita but Lita dispatches her before Trish has a chance to do any damage herself. Lita pushes Trish down by her broken nose and Trish sells it like it’s not painful, but embarrassing. Great blunder there, Trish.

Commercial.

Back to Coach calling JR to the ring for…aw, no…

The Coach vs. Jim Ross

Maven interrupts the match to offer a convoluted explanation that he actually meant it would be:

The Coach vs. Randy Orton

I don’t get it, either.

Finish comes when Randy Orton hits the RKO on Coach for the 3-count pinfall victory.

Post-match, Replay of the expected slaughter.

In The Back, Todd Grisham is with Edge & Christian. Edge runs down how much greater he is than Christian and laments having to team with him. Christian answers in kind and the exchange between the 2 is retro heaven even if they’re running each other down. Todd laments the better days and Edge offers a 5-second pose – with the “1” being the middle fing—

And we see the Coming Next graphic cutting it off before Commercial?? You pussies!

Back to In The Back, Orton thanks Maven for the match with Coach for comedic reasons. Orton asks him about his shot at the World Title and he looks hesitant. Almost like he wants to join Evolution. Feel the drama. Maven questions whose best interests Orton is looking out for.

Edge & Christian (with Tyson Tomko) vs. Shelton Benjamin & Chris Benoit

Edge & Christian have a long uphill road ahead after not having teamed in 3 years AND not being able to still stand each other. At least they’re consistent, and it shows in their teamwork. Some things can’t change.

Benoit’s focus is solitary: rend Christian en route to the guy he really wants to get his hands on. Shelton provides superior backup in showing his own dominance over Edge’s partner but seems almost outclassed by Edge himself. Benjamin regains an advantage and Edge goes for relief but Christian is too scared to get in – showing how much of a coward he’s become since splitting from his brother (which anyone has yet to mention, mind you) – before we go to:

Commercial.

Back to Edge having his way with Benjamin. Replay of During The Break: Benjamin gets triple-teamed. Now that Shelton’s weakened, Christian is more than happy to share ring space with him. Edge & Christian keep Benjamin in the ring for nearly forever with classic ringwork before Benoit finally makes it in to pursue his target. The pursuit is halted by Tomko but the attempt backfires but Benoit’s not above going after the weaker guy for the win…

Finish comes when Benjamin hits the T-Bone Suplex followed by Benoit with the Diving headbutt. Benoit gets the Crippler Crossface on Christian and Christian taps out for the submission victory for Benoit.

Post-match, Edge beats on Christian for losing the match, nearly destroying Christian’s shoulder.

In The Back, Ric Flair pleads the case to Maven for joining Evolution (with the help of several chicks, playing on the weakness Maven already showed earlier) before the:

Commercial.

Back to Lawler pimping Clearisil (sp?) For Men before the next match in hopes of attracting some female attention. Shill.

Christy Hemme vs. Stacy Keibler – Lingere Pillow Fight

You expect any actual strategy here?? Both women beat each other senseless in their underwear. Christy bends over on the bed and gets spanked along with sever million IWC “monkeys”. Christy wins.

In The Back, Triple-H enjoys himself looking at Christy Hemme. Now if she joins Evolution, that would be neat. Batista enters and questions Triple-H offering Maven a spot in Evolution. Kinda like he did Eugene…and that didn’t turn out too bad. Triple-H explains his logic in how many people would “guarantee” that Maven wins because he’d be an easy target. Triple-H keeps treating Batista like he’s stupid. Smell the feinted foreshadowing.

Commercial.

Back to Simon Dean in the ring. 64% of pollers on WWE.com vote that Maven won’t join Evolution. How right do YOU think they’ll be? Simon apologizes for his remarks hitting a few WWE Superstars where it hurts before picking on another plant. “Eric” dislikes the taste of Simon’s protein bars and Simon is amazed that this fat guy won’t eat anything—

And out comes Rosey. Neat! Simon begs off of Rosey and disavows any responsibility for his effects before turning tide and calling Rosey fat and disgusting. Simon offers a protein bar and Rosey force-feeds it back to him. Simon pulls “Eric” in front of him as a shield before drilling Rosey with a can of protein shake (that sounds like it fucking HURT) before hauling ass.

SmackDown Rebound airs with a special video package of Cena and Carlito’s history leading up to Cena’s wordless return last night’s at Survivor Series before the:

Commercial.

Back to Maven dismissing the ladies and Benoit & Jericho confront him about a decision. Maven is still heming & hawing and the others are stating the case not to join. This is almost as bad as the Raw debates…

Commercial.

Back to another Mohammed Hassan promo – and now he’s turned on the American public. That didn’t take long…but at least it’s going in the right direction…

Triple-H © vs. Maven – World Heavyweight Title Match

It’s decision time! Triple-H plays up the (supposed) drama and Maven turns Evolution down for his shot at the World Title. Let the massacre begin.

Maven has spent his short career being underestimated enough to be able to pull off an upset. It is that same underestimation that Maven may be counting on tonight. With the rest of Evolution out – as well as Benoit & Jericho – as witness, this is the best chance he’ll have to shine.

That is, if the rest of them can quit getting involved. Batista interferes and gets ejected. Flair shoves the referee and gets ejected as well. Now Maven has a pronounced advantage, but even with that Hunter is out to show that Maven is in hopelessly over his head. Triple-H does so by viciously going after the bandage on Maven’s head. JR points out how distracted and off his game Hunter is, but does it even matter here? It may; Benoit & Jericho set about playing Evolution’s own game against Hunter, making this almost a 3-on-1 handicap match…

Finish comes when Benoit distracts the referee so Jericho can interrupt the Pedigree with a Lionsault. Maven covers for 2. Hunter hits the Pedigree but Jericho puts Maven’s foot on the bottom rope. The ref sees it and ejects Jericho, but Benoit hits the German Suplex and Diving Headbutt in the meantime. Maven covers again for 2. Edge is out to drill Benoit and Spear the referee and Jericho aids Benoit in a 2-on-1 assault before Evolution is back out to join the melee. Flair hands the World Title belt to Hunter but Orton stops him and nails Triple-H himself with the Title. The ref revives and makes a slloooowwwwwwww count for yet another 2. Snitsky is out, but after who? More drama! Snitsky finishes the work he started on Maven last night before Triple-H hits the Pedigree for the 3-count pinfall victory. Triple-H retains to end the show, leaving me wondering how many SmarKs will bitch about Hunter surviving everyone’s finisher – and for how long.

This wasn’t a bad way to end the run on this show, I guess. Seeing Edge & Christian on the same team (even if not in agreement) was well worth it by itself. The attempts to add any actual question of which way things will turn out (such as Maven’s decision and the match itself) were laughable as the outcome was too logical even with all of the interference. The effort was still top-notch, though, and I can’t look down on that at all.

3 days to go. Thanks again for reading.

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