411’s WWE Legend’s House Report 5.29.14

Previously: Legends went LARPing and had a nice dinner.

We start with….FOOD! Because of course we do. The Legends go out for breakfast, which I guess is a nice change of pace from Atlas cooking. They had back to the house where Ashley Cook is looking hot in a dress that she picked up off of Steve Cook’s floor. It’s time for LEGENDS HOUSE GAMESHOW! Jeff Dye is the host. He’s most famous for banging Sara Jean Underwood.

It’s basically the Newlywed Game. Patterson/Fink, Atlas/Gene, Piper/Duggan, and Jimmy/Hillbilly are the teams. If you don’t know how this works: half the group is sent out while the other half answers questions and their partner has to get it right. I’m not recapping the whole game, because that would defeat the purpose of you watching it. Duggan and Piper start cheating by whispering answers to each other. If you aint cheating, you aint trying. Every team has 20 except for Patterson/Fink, who have 10. Now Jimmy and Hillbilly are accused of cheating, but nothing comes of it. Heading into the final question, which is worth 40 points, it’s any teams game. Duggan and Piper get their signals crossed on the final question, which allows Jimmy and Hillbilly to pick up the victory.

After the contest, Piper admits to cheating. He wrote “Wife” on his hand for the final question, but Duggan answered “Life.”

Hillbilly and Jimmy win a private tennis lesson, valued at $229. They really went all out. Two blondes, who Gene is of course attracted to, show up to give them their lessons. They don’t reach teach Jimmy and Hillbilly anything, they just play mixed doubles.

Piper gets to leave for a couple of days because he has some business trip. THEY LIVE 2! Duggan begins missing Piper, calling him, and getting angry when he doesn’t call back. Duggan is a teenage girl.

The next morning, SHAWN F’N MICHAELS ENTERS THE HOUSE! Unfortunately he’s not there to stay, he’s just there to take the guys fishing. Gene wants to see Pat work his rod. Gene invites Shawn to stay in the Legends House, which Michaels declines. Don’t worry, he’ll be back for season two along with Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Steve Austin, Bret Hart, and Undertaker. Fink catches a tree branch while Pat catches the first fish of the day. Now, after a slow start, everyone is catching fish.

They had back to the house where they cook the fish. Gene gets angry with Jimmy because Jimmy is being Jimmy. While cooking the food, Jimmy drops his glasses in the oven and freak out. Michaels eats dinner with the guys and then takes off.

Thoughts: Well there was no way they could follow up last week’s LARPing. And they didn’t. The Newlywed Game wasn’t terrible, but felt a little flat, and then the rest of the show was once again just, “watch these guys do normal things.” The lack of Piper in the second half of the show hurt it as well.

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