TNA Impact Insight 12.24.04
Posted by Steve Cook on 12.24.2004
It's Christmas Eve! It's Team Canada! It's AMW & A.J. Styles! What more could you ask for?
Hello everybody, and welcome to the Christmas Eve edition of TNA Impact Insight! I am the Impact Playa Steve Cook, and in a Festivus miracle my computer has arisen from the dead. Oh glorious day!
Let's go ahead and get it started, I want to get this done before I open presents!
This is TNA...the new face of professional wrestling.
We start with clips from last weeks titanic struggle between Jeff Jarrett & Hector Garza.
IMPACT ZONE! FANS! PYROOOOOOOOO!
And we are joined in the ring by our Director of Authority Duthy "You gonna drink that egg nog" Rhodes, along with his lovely secretary Traci. I wonder what Michael Shane is thinking about all of this...last week Dusty talked about the big announcement. He and Traci have looked over all the documents (meaning Traci read them to him while he put away a 32 ounce T-bone steak), and he has a big surprise for Jarrett. Speaking of which, here comes the cho-cho-chosen one, along with Hall & Nash. Hall is wearing his Elvis costume, which is too cool for words. To fit in, Nash has the goofy glasses. Jarrett says he is the champ, and the silly reindeer games are over. Dusty says Jeff will be defending the title at Final Resolution against the winner of a 3-man elimination match earlier in the show. The first man is Monty Brown! Who is wearing a hideous yellow turtleneck. The second man is DDP! And the third man...is the Grey Goose, Kevin Nash! Jarrett is dumbfounded, so it's time to play Dusty's music!
I'm liking the idea, but whatever happened to that person who needed to call Dusty? And why isn't Michael Shane pissed about his girl hanging out with Dusty? I demand explanations!
Final Resolution commercial
Year-end awards: Tag team of the year
Match 1: 10 minute time limit
Cassidy O'Reilly & Brandon Thomas vs. 3 Live Kru (B.G. James & Ron Killings w/Konnan)
ODALEY! ARRIBA LA RAZA! Ring intro by James and we're underway. Tieup, headlock, hammerlock, O'Reilly fights out, whips Killings, Killings does the cartwheel, splits, kick! Tag to James, they whip O'Reilly, kick him, dance, and punch him! I don't know dance names. Whip reversed, James with the shake, rattle, & roll! Thomas comes in and gets punched too, and James makes the fatal mistake....YOU CAN'T IRISH WHIP AN IRISHMAN! O'Reilly reverses, James gets a knee in the back, he knocks Thomas off the apron, but O'Reilly hits the clothesline! Tag to Thomas, kicks in the corner, punches by Thomas, choke while the ref is distracted, tag to O'Reilly, double whip, but James hits a double clothesline! Tag to Truth, punches, powerslam, and it's a Pier 4 brawl! Spinning forearm by Truth on O'Reilly, and the splits pedigree ends it!
Your winners: 3 Live Kru (3:11)
My Insight: Basically a match to remind you that 3 Live Kru is there. At least it went over a minute, unlike their usual squash matches. What kind of a name for a man is Cassidy anyway?
DDP & Erik Watts run into each other backstage...Watts wants to talk, but DDP says they'll talk when he wants to...he's too busy trying to win a world title, which is something Watts knows nothing about. Thank God. Raven emerges after DDP leaves, and tells Watts he's being treated like scum. Watts says he'll take care of it.
Remember when DDP called everybody scum? "Hollywood SCUM Hogan! Eric SCUM Bischoff! Randy SCUM Savage!" Ahhhhhhhh, memories.
Best of AJ/AMW commercial
Turning Point poster commercial
Programming Note: Impact will not be airing next Friday, and will instead be on in most markets Tuesday, January 4th at 3 PM. As long as most markets includes FSN Ohio, that isn't a problem. But damn, there go my New Year's Eve plans.
No, that wasn't sarcasm.
Match 2: 10 minute time limit
David Young vs. Abyss
Poor, poor David. He starts off ok, Abyss misses a splash in the corner, and Young gets some punches and chops on him, but his whip gets reversed and Abyss clotheslines his head off. Splash in the corner, whips him to the opposite side, Abyss misses the second splash, but Young charges out and eats Black Hole Slam.
Your winner: Abyss (:45)
My Insight: The new streak begins! WHO'S FIRST?
Year end awards: Best finisher
We're back to a Hector Garza clip package.
In the Pit with Piper
The Rowdy Scot walks out to the cheers of the Floridians, and there's a mariachi band in the ring. One of them has a guitar that kinda looks like a JJ guitar. Hmmm. Piper tells them to play some music, they do, and he dances. Eat your heart out Alex Wright! Piper then introduces the Mexican Sensation, Hector Garza! Moody Jack follows him into the ring because Garza doesn't speak English or Piperese. Piper wishes him a Feliz Navidad or however you Mexican folk spell it. He asks Garza what his goals are in 2005. Garza wants to defeat Jeff Jarrett and become the NWA World Champion. Piper points out that the last time he faced Jarrett, it didn't go so well. Garza blames Scott Hall, and sure enough here comes Hall with Nash! Piper wishes them a Merry Christmas. Hall shoves Garza and tells him not to sing it, bring it. He hands Garza a guitar and tells him to play some Elvis. Garza opts to hit Hall in the head with the guitar instead. Nash gets taken down with a dropkick, and Hall gets the guitar broken over his head! The rest of the band plays as Piper puts Hall's sunglasses back on him and raises Garza's hand!
So Garza vs. Hall at Final Resolution? That could be all right.
Final Resolution commercial
Year end: tag team of the year
Shane Douglas is backstage with Petey Williams and Coach D'Amore...Petey says he will prove he is the greatest in the Ultimate X match. Douglas asks D'Amore about the main event..if AMW beats Team Canada, they get a title shot at Final Resolution. D'Amore accuses Dusty of being biased against all things Canadian. Ultimate X is unfair, and they will beat AMW tonight.
Wait a minute...if he's biased against all things Canadian, then why the hell did he hire a Canadian secretary?
Match 3: 10 minute time limit
Johnny Devine (w/Coach D'Amore) vs. A.J. Styles
Shoves back and forth, a series of reversals, Devine takes Styles down and walks across him! Ha! Styles responds with a dropkick, an arm drag, a snap mare, and a kick. Apparently he didn't see the humor in it. Styles clotheslines Devine over the top, teases a plancha, lands on the apron, Devine pulls him off, they punch back and forth, back in the ring, Styles is on the apron but D'Amore grabs his foot, Styles shakes him off and hits a flying headscissors! Devine with an eye poke, Styles with an elbow, Devine whipped into the corner, up to the middle turnbuckle...reverse DDT on Styles! Nice, but Devine passes up a chance at a pin and tosses Styles to the outside, where D'Amore pushes him into the rail! Back into the ring, punch, then a choke with the boot in the corner by Devine, followed by a slingshot legdrop on the apron! Woot! Devine back in, snap suplex on Styles gets 2. He then puts Styles in a combination deathlock/surfboard. Styles briefly fights back before Devine hits an airplane spin into a DDT! Only a 2 count! Devine wastes time, then goes up top...misses the Devine Intervention moonsault! Styles with a clothesline, back body drop, but then a kick and punch by Devine, whip, Styles with the backflip into the reverse DDT! It gets 2! Shoulderblocks in the corner by Styles, mounts him and punches away, stun gun in the corner! Whip reversed, kick by Devine, he goes for a Vertebreaker but Styles flips out, hits a rana, then a Styles Clash for 3!
Your winner: A.J. Styles (5:50)
My Insight: Johnny Devine's first Impact match since his stabbing months ago was a good one...I think this was the first singles match I've seen of his, period. If he does this all the time he needs to be getting the chance to do it more often. This just in: A.J. Styles ain't bad either.
Best of AJ/AMW commercial
Turning Point poster commercial
Final Resolution commercial
Backstage, Kid Kash introduces himself to Dustin Rhodes. He talks some smack about his daddy and wishes him luck. Dustin quotes Tombstone.
Mike Tenay & Don West are ringside, and they hype this week's main event...
Match 5: 15 minute time limit, if AMW wins, they get a tag team title shot at Final Resolution
Team Canada (Bobby Roode & Eric Young w/Coach D'Amore) vs. America's Most Wanted (Chris Harris & James Storm)
Harley Race is the judge this week for those of you scoring at home (or even if you're alone). Storm & Young trade wristlocks, Storm's whip is reversed, shoulderblock by Storm, back and forth they go, Young tries to dump Storm over the top, but Storm skins the cat, and Young baseball slides under him! Roode comes in to get double teamed by Storm & Harris, they whip him off the ropes, pick him up, and toss him into an oncoming Young! Team Canada regroups as we go to commercial!
Final Resolution commercial
Best of AJ/AMW commercial
We're back and Roode is working over Storm with the dreaded chinlock! Storm fights out, off the ropes, elbowblock by Roode, Storm gets tossed outside, where D'Amore hits a kick! That's a Hall of Famer for ya right there...Storm back into the ring, Young chokes him then tags in Roode, they whip him off the ropes, a double back drop turns into a double DDT by Storm! Tag to Harris! Harris punches awa...wait a minute, the ref didn't see the tag! Damn it! Roode works over Storm in the corner while Harris is escorted out of the ring. Eventually Storm fights out of it, but Roode hits a drop toe hold that keeps Storm from getting to his corner...picks him up by the leg, Storm with an enziguri! Tag to Young, tag to Harris! Clotheslines for all Canadians! Whip, baaaaaaaack body drop for Young! Flying clothesline for Roode! Running powerslam on Young gets 2, but Roode accidentally elbowdrops him! Roode tries to make up for it by full nelson slamming Harris, but Storm makes the tag while Roode is trying to do it, and superkicks Roode! Storm tries it on Young, but Young blocks it, and tries an inside cradle, D'Amore comes in to make sure Young is on top while the ref is distracted, then Harris rolls Storm on top, and finally the referee makes the 3 count!
Your winners: America's Most Wanted (9:41)
Team Canada is pissed....it will not be a Merry Christmas in the Great White North!
My Insight: That was some good fun right there. Neither of the teams got to hit their really big moves though, which leaves something to be seen at Final Resolution. Good call on their part. It should be a good match there, and this one wasn't too bad either.
The Kings of Wrestling are backstage...Jarrett is all pissy, Hall tells him not to worry about it, he'll still be champ as long as he calms down. Jarrett heads off, and Hall's tune kinda changes...he points out that Nash was a WWF champ and a WCW champ, but was he a NWA champ? Nash says no, and Hall says he could make some money...we hear a loud noise, and Hall & Nash look over to the right, where Abyss is standing and growling over some poor sap under a table! Who's that?
Overall Insight: Good show, not a great show, but there wasn't anything too bad this week. 2 good matches and 2 mediocre matches are all you can ask for on a holiday show, and there was some good storyline advancement for Final Resolution. All I ask is that they tie up some of the loose ends I was talking about earlier. Especially the Traci stuff, though I suspect I know where they're going with that, I still think it's strange that her other guys are nowhere to be seen.
Who was under the table? SCANDAL!
Well, it's Christmas Eve, so I'm gonna wrap things up pretty early tonight. If it seems rushed...well, I'm sure you can understand. Unless you're agnostic.
Since I won't be back on the 411 until 2005, I'd like to wish all you guys a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year...keep it safe, ya hear?
