TNA Impact Insight 5.29.05
Posted by Steve Cook on 05.29.2005
It’s the end of the world as we know it…and I feel fine.
Hello everybody and welcome to the final edition of TNA Impact Insight! I am the Impact Playa Steve Cook. On the last edition of Impact on FSN, we’ve got a big time main event of AJ Styles & Sean Waltman vs. Jeff Jarrett & Monty Brown, the Naturals, AMW & 3 Live Kru all in action, and a returning Zach Gowen!
I’m going to save the farewells for the end, so let’s get it started!
This is TNA…the new face of professional wrestling.
Last week on Impact, Abyss Black Hole Slammed AJ Styles and Jeff Jarrett! He doesn’t care who he hurts!
3 Live Kru (B.G. James & Ron Killings) vs. America’s Most Wanted (Chris Harris & James Storm)
Wow, are there any heel tag teams left in TNA besides Team Canada? We do know that neither of these teams are very happy with each other lately, as Truth cuts off James’ spiel and wants an explanation. The crowd gives him an Amen. While AMW walks out we see clips from last week showing them arguing after their loss to Team Canada. James and Storm start us off, James gets the early advantage and hits the Shake, Rattle & Roll punching move, then the herky-jerky knee drop for 2. Hard tag to Truth, Storm reverses out of a wristlock and tags in Harris. Shoulderblock by Truth, Harris answers with a Thez press and fists of fire! Truth does the spinning elbowblock and tags in James. Harris catches him with an inverted atomic drop and a knee lift. Tag to Storm, and AMW stomps down James in the corner. Eventually James and Storm shoulderblock each other down, and they make the tags to Truth and Harris. It immediately becomes a Pier 4 Brawl, Storm and James take it outside while Harris takes Truth down with a flying clothesline. Storm…slides in a chair? That ain’t right, and Harris is quite hesitant to pick it up. Unfortunately, right when Harris bends over to pick it up is when Truth hits the scissor kick, sending Harris face first onto the chair. That’ll do it.
Your winners: 3 Live Kru (3:29)
Storm and Harris argue on the outside, with Harris saying that he had it taken care of and didn’t need the chair. Killings gets the microphone and demands an explanation from James for all this Outlaw stuff. Speak of the devil, he tries to clothesline Killings from behind but James pushes him out of the way and takes the clothesline! Killings & Outlaw punch back and forth…Outlaw slams Killings but here comes Konnan! Rolling Thunder clothesline to Konnan! Off comes the shoe and he throws it at Outlaw! Don West declares that the ultimate form of disrespect, which is true in the Middle East if memory serves me correctly. Some fans toss their shoes into the ring in appreciation, and Killings takes one and hits James with it! Apparently he didn’t realize that James saved him from Outlaw. Konnan & Killings stomp down Outlaw, but James wants an explanation for the shoe stuff, and Konnan & Killings push him down while Outlaw slides out of the ring! Konnan & Killings leave one way while Outlaw leaves the other way, and BG James is the monkey in the middle!
My Insight: The match didn’t have enough time to get going, but the finish was well booked and the post match angle was very solid, furthering the split between James and the rest of 3LK even though James is trying to do the right thing. We’ll give this 2 Traci moons.
Slammiversary Top 5 Moments voting commercial
King of the Mountain match commercial
Terry Taylor is backstage and with America’s Most Wanted. Harris tries to justify their recent slump by saying everybody goes through slumps. Storm says it’s time for a change, and they should start with 3 Live Kru at Slammiversary because they argue even more than AMW does. As they walk off Taylor says “Do they?”
(While I’m thinking about it, I gotta give Terry Taylor props for the way he’s filled in for Shane Douglas the last couple weeks. Taylor knows exactly what kind of questions to ask and how to react in order to make the interviews make sense to the viewing public, which obviously comes from his years of experience as a wrestler. I prefer this method far more than WWE’s, where they stick some schmoe with very limited knowledge out there to hold a microphone and blankly stare at the wrestlers while they’re talking. Both Taylor & Douglas excel at this, but I wouldn’t mind Taylor staying in this role while Douglas moves to either the announce table or a managerial position.)
Match 2: 10 minute time limit
Romeo vs. Zach Gowen
For those of you who might not know, Gowen made his national wrestling debut with TNA, competing there as “Tenacious Z” before WWE signed him to get publicity from having a one legged wrestler. I notice that these two well-endowed women in the crowd seemed to appreciate Zach more than anybody else on the show, which makes me wonder if this whole one legged thing isn’t so bad after all. Gowen hits a dropkick on Romeo early, then a clothesline. Romeo shoves him into the corner and stomps him down, followed by a running knee to the head for 2. A short arm clothesline by Romeo also gets 2. A vertical suplex only gets a 1 count, so Romeo chops away on Gowen in the corner. He charges in but Gowen gets his boot up and hits a tornado DDT! A springboard leg lariat gets 2! Romeo returns with a back suplex, he crotches Gowen up top and tries a back suplex off the top…Gowen knocks him off and hits the moonsault for 3!
Your winner: Zach Gowen (2:39)
My Insight: The problem I always had with WWE’s use of Gowen was that they were pushing him as a main eventer nearly every week, either teaming him up with Hulk Hogan or Stephanie McMahon. He’s very talented, but obviously he’s not a main event guy. Should he stay in TNA very long, they would be well served to keep him in matches like this where he can pop the crowd and make people flipping the channels say “What the hell is that?”. 1 Traci moon for this match…it was short but not too offensive.
Commercials!
Terry Taylor asks Chris Sabin about Michael Shane & Traci. Sabin says he is concentrating on his triple threat match with Daniels & Shane at Slammiversary, but he won’t forget what Shane & Traci did to him. He should have known not to trust a girl like Traci. What the hell does that mean? He promises never to make a mistake like that again, so of course Trinity enters the picture. She thinks they should work together to take out Shane & Traci because of what they said last week. Taylor has the bubbas in the truck play the footage of Shane & Traci dissing Sabin & Trinity last week. Sabin says he’ll take care of Shane if she takes care of Traci. Trinity offers to shake on it, and shakes her boobs. I’ve never received a handshake like that before.
Coach D’Amore enters the Impact Zone and joins “Iron” Mike Tenay & “Dandy” Don West at ringside. They are not pleased. D’Amore reveals that he’s out here because Lance Hoyt is taking on Bobby Roode at Slammiversary.
Match 3: 10 minute time limit
Bruno Sassi (w/Big Till) vs. Lance Hoyt
Phi Delta Slam? I thought those were the guys Dusty wasn’t supposed to use anymore…at any rate the Hoyt Section is in full effect at the Impact Zone. I wish I knew if those guys were kidding around or not. Sassi attacks from behind at the bell, Hoyt answers with a clothesline and decides to talk to Till. Sassi takes advantage by hitting Hoyt low and tossing him outside, where Till chokes him. Into the corner and Sassi pulls Hoyt’s hair some. Enthralling. He tosses Hoyt down and hits the knee drop. Big shoulderblock and a clothesline by Hoyt, followed up by a big boot. Hoyt up top…hits the moonsault and it’s over.
Your winner: Lance Hoyt (2:23)
Till attacks right after the bell, but Hoyt boots him out. Then D’Amore comes down and threatens to attack Hoyt, even unbuttoning his jersey before Bobby Roode clotheslines Hoyt from behind with a hockey stick. Roode & D’Amore beat Hoyt down, and D’Amore says that Hoyt is done on June 19th. Good God, D’Amore’s belly! I’ve gone blind!
My Insight: First of all, it always irritates me when the finish of a match is just like the one before it. My buddy who watches PRIDE with me could tell you about how I reacted when the first 2 matches at Bushido 6 ended with a Code Red arm bar. I’m still not getting the big deal about Lance Hoyt, other than he’s big and could be good some day. But that day isn’t today. And since I had to see D’Amore’s big belly, this gets 2 Dusty moons.
Slammiversary commercial
Tenay & West yap about Raven beating up Larry Zybysko last week and show pictures of it. Then they introduce a video shot after Raven left the Impact Zone last week…
Raven gets in his car and nearly runs over the cameraman, then gets out and decides to cut a promo. How dare Rhodes suspend him! It’s a conspiracy and he’s an infidel. He has no allegiance to anyone or anything. He will make TNA pay! Everyone will suffer! His reign of terror starts tonight. He wants an NWA title shot against AJ Styles, and the bloodshed will continue until he gets it. Quoth the Raven…Nevermore.
Top 5 TNA moments at Slammiversary!
Final Resolution DVD
Terry Taylor talks to the Naturals. Chase Stevens says it’s been a tough road and it won’t get any easier, but they wouldn’t have it any other way. Andy Douglas says that he gave them the gameplan, and it’s up to them to execute it. Taylor wants to know who “he” is, but the Naturals leave before answering.
Match 4: non-title with a 10 minute time limit
Lex Lovett & David Young vs. NWA World Tag Team Champions The Naturals (Chase Stevens & Andy Douglas)
Lovett & Young attack at the bell, but their whips get reversed and they both receive a back body drop for their troubles. Dropkick by Douglas on Young gets a 2 count, his whip gets reversed into a nice reverse swinging side slam by Young. Holy crap, when did David Young start using cool moves? Tag to Lex, who hits a leg lariat on Douglas and chokes him on the ropes while I realize that Lex Lovett is now the best Lex in the wrestling business. Who’da thunk it? Cover gets 2 and Lex tags in Young so they can do a double elbowblock. Young hits a vertical suplex with a bit of snap for 2. Tag to Lex, and my feed cuts out, but when it returns Douglas is making the hot tag to Stevens. Clotheslines and punches all around, flying elbowblock to Young followed by a nip up, but Lex gets him from behind. He tries a reverse DDT, but Stevens reverses and Douglas comes over and they get him into position for the Natural Disaster, which ends it.
Your winners: The Naturals (2:24)
And here comes Team Canada! Stevens & Douglas are about even with Petey Williams and Eric Young , but then A-1 comes in and the numbers are too much. A-1 jackhammers Douglas, and Petey hits Stevens with the CANADIAN DESTROYER~! The tag champs are down as we go to commercial…
My Insight: Holy crap, the Naturals are getting to look good in matches. I never thought I’d see the day…I wasn’t thrilled with them back when Impact made it’s debut, but they’ve won me over in recent months and have been getting better and better ever since Chris Candido came in and taught them how to be winners. But the question remains…who’s “he”? 3 Traci moons because the Naturals are cool and we got to see the Canadian Destroyer.
Slammiversary commercial
Here’s Terry Taylor one last time, talking to Jeff Jarrett and Monty Brown! JJ says Abyss made the worst decision of his career last week, but at least Monty Brown knows who’s side to be on. They will still have the numbers at Slammiversary. After Jarrett leaves, Monty says he doesn’t know about being King of the Mountain, but he does know that there’s only one Alpha Male.
Match 5: 15 minute time limit
Monty Brown & Jeff Jarrett vs. Sean Waltman & NWA World Champion AJ Styles
The crowd goes crazy for Styles! We take a commercial break after the entrances, and the match begins right after they’re over. How cool is that? AJ & JJ start while the crowd chants “AJ Styles!” They seem pleased to have a new champion after all these years. AJ immediately takes the advantage with a drop toe hold and a hip toss, then the big dropkick! JJ tags Monty soon after that, and AJ moves Monty into the corner and tags in Waltman so they can do a double elbowblock on him. Big clothesline by Monty on Waltman, he chokes Waltman and hits a back suplex for 2. Tag to Jarrett, some stomps and then a tag to Monty. Waltman hits a dropkick on Monty, which brings Jarrett in to receive a spin kick. Jarrett receives a bronco buster from Waltman while Monty’s attempt at a powerslam on AJ is turned into a spin kick by AJ! Abyss looks on from the ramp and menacingly holds his chain. Waltman tries a bronco buster on Monty but misses. Nice floatover vertical suplex by Monty gets 2 on Waltman. He hits the chinlock and eventually Waltman fights out. JJ gets the tag and hits a big dropkick on Waltman, then mocks AJ’s pose afterwards! JJ stomps away while we watch a replay, then JJ hits a running charge and does the Fabulous Ones strut. Tag to Monty, he clotheslines Waltman and knocks AJ off the apron for good measure. Waltman gets whipped hard into the corner, then Monty does a backbreaker. Tag to JJ, who hits the sleeper. Waltman gets out with a back suplex, then both men make the tag! AJ clotheslines Jarrett, then hits the Pele kick on Monty! Clotheslines to both, Monty reverses the whip but misses in the corner, AJ goes up top and clotheslines both JJ & Monty! AJ gets knocked to the floor when JJ holds the top rope down while AJ tries to go off them. Fallaway slam by Monty on Waltman gets 2…Jarrett made the cover there, which got a weird look from Monty for a second there, but then he says “POOOOOUUUUUUNNNNNNNCCCCCCEEEEEEEE!”. We can guess what’s next…but JJ has other plans and has Monty hold Waltman. He gets the guitar and wants to hit Waltman, but the ref interferes with it and by the time JJ turns around and swings the guitar, he smashes it over Monty’s head! Oops. Monty gets up, but Monty falls back down! AJ goes up top…SPIRAL TAP! IT’S OVER!
Your winners: AJ Styles & Sean Waltman (8:37)
The ref gives Waltman the NWA title belt to give to AJ…he looks at the belt for a little bit before handing it over to AJ. Meanwhile JJ looks quite sorry for hitting Monty with the guitar as we fade on outta here!
My Insight: Great way to end Impact, as we got to see 3 of TNA’s biggest stars go at it and Waltman held up his end too. Waltman looked happy to be teaming with AJ and flattered that AJ chose him to team with, but you could tell from the way he looked at that belt that he’s more than a little interested in it. My prediction of him being the Wild Card isn’t looking too bad at this point. Tension between Jarrett & Monty has been created, and nobody knows who to trust heading into Slammiversary. We’ll give this 4 Traci moons.
Overall Insight: The match times were a bit low, which is one of my favorite complaints, but I liked the show. The angles were developed well, and we have a bunch of matches set up for Slammiversary on June 19th. They might not get any TV time the next 2 weeks, but at least they already have most of the card for that show set up. A nice way to end the FSN era…and the era of the Impact Playa.
While it is great that TNA is looking like it’s moving to prime time, unfortunately they will have to make that move without me recapping it. Due to my situation down at college (no computer except at labs), I’m not able to recap prime time shows on weeknights. So in all likelihood this will be the last time that I have the pleasure of recapping a weekly TNA show. And I kinda hope that it is because it would really suck if they went through all this just to be back on the same time slot and the same channel.
I would like to close by thanking all of the loyal readers of this recap, who helped me get to where I am today. Thanks to my bosses at TWTF.com, who haven’t complained about my writing for 411 in a long time. Thanks to Larry & Ashish for believing in me and giving me a shot, and thanks to Randle for not getting in the way. Little did he know at the time…
Thanks to all the TNA workers who busted their asses and worked with whatever they could get to put on a good show. The TNA roster is full of talented people who could be big stars in any promotion they choose to wrestle in.
But there are two people who if I didn’t have them I would never have been able to last a full year on this recap without getting creatively burnt out. For completely different reasons, Tracy and Dusty both inspired me to put out an entertaining recap every week that hopefully amused some people and helped get the word out about TNA. And for that, I could never thank them enough.
I’ll still be here every Sunday with some News from Cook’s Corner, but I know that I will miss doing this recap every week. So for the last time this is the Impact Playa saying…Have a nice day!
