The 411 DDT Ryogoku Peter Pan 2014 Review 8.19.14
Posted by TJ Hawke on 08.19.2014
Dolls, bicycles, powerpoint presentations, firecrackers, and ring announcers winning titles. This isn't your grandmother's pro wrestling. Unless she watched DDT. In which case, this is exactly her pro wrestling.
This is my first DDT show ever. I've watched a handful of matches over the years, but I really do not know the promotion at all. Feel free to discuss things that I clearly did not understand in the credits.
August 17, 2014
There was a promo from some guy with a fake mustache to start the show. There was a creepy doll behind him. (Edit: The doll was Akihiro. I'm nearly positive.) This is the promotion of the year, folks. I am in love.
The doll disappeared, and he was then interrupted by a guy in leopard hood. (Edit: That person was DJ Nira.) I am in love all over again.
Iron Man Heavy Metal Title Battle Royal Akihiro(c) vs. Ai Shimizu vs. Daisuke Sasaki vs. DJ Nira vs. FUMA vs. Kazuki Hirata vs. Kizaemon Saiga vs. No No Ko vs. Shiro Koshinaka vs. Tetsuya Endo vs. Tomomitsu Matsunaga vs. Touru Owashi vs. Yoshihiko vs. Gorgeous Matsuno
When you're trying to learn who is who with a promotion, watching a battle royal first is like being thrown into a shark tank when you want to learn how to swim. I will do my best.
Daisuke Sasake and Tetsuya Endo started the match. I believe Ai Shimizu was the third participant. Sasaki and Endo got heat for attacking her. Tomomitsu Matsunaga was the next one out. He got heat for spitting water on Shimizu. Sasaki then eliminated her. Kazuki Hirata was the next one out. He seemed very over. He didn't even have time to finish his dancing entrance before FUMA entered at number six. I believe Kizaemon Saiga was next, but I honestly could not understand the ring announcer. DJ Nira was the next out. Hirata tried to finish his dance, but he was kicked for his troubles. Akihiro was next with Yoshihiko. Akihiro is a doll and the Iron Man Heavy Metal Champion. Yoshihiko is also a doll. Saiga went to attack Akihiro, but Akihiro reversed it. Everyone pinned Saiga to eliminate him. KUMA got crucifix pinned by Yoshihiko. Endo hit the dolls with a moonsault, but the dolls came back with a Spanish Fly to eliminate Hirata. Touru Owashi was next. DJ Nira assisted the dolls with attacking Owashi, but Niro then betrayed the dolls by giving them a bridging German suplex. That bastard! Shiro Koshinaka was next out. he eliminated Sasake. Gorgeous Matsuno was next out. No No Ko was next out. Hirata tried to dance again, but Koshinaka and No No Ko attacked him. Hirata was pinned with a powerbomb by Koshinaka. No No Ko eliminated Koshinaka and Owashi! Matsuno and DJ Nira then eliminated her! The excitement! Matsuno caught Niro with a small package: 1...2...3 Matsuno is the new champion!
DJ Nira attacked Matsuno after the match. The ring announcer, LiLiCo, then pinned Matsuno: 1...2...3! What a swerve!
This match was so entertaining and full of good times that I immediately re-watched it to make sure I did not miss anything. If you have never seen DDT before, I highly recommend that you seek this match out to get a feel for what kind of comedy the promotion can offer. Match Rating: ***1/2
Aja Kong, Antonio Honda & Hiroshi Fukuda vs. Lady Beard, Makoto Oishi & Saki Akai
I think Kong is the only wrestler I've seen before out of this group.
Saki Akai was worked over by Honda and Fukoda. She escaped though and tagged out to Oishi. Aja Kong beat him up. Honda and Fukuda did a lot of Wooooing. Oishi eventually escaped and tagged out to Lady Beard. Lady Beard is a gaijin pretending to be a Japanese woman by the looks of it. Aja Kong had Akai beat with a backdrop driver, but her teammates made the save. The match broke down. Akai kicked out of a Kong brainbuster. Akai hit a dive on Kong and Honda. Oishi hit Fukuda with a folding powerbomb: 1...2...3
I was not into this at all. It was boring and not funny. Match Rating: 1/2*
Shuten Doji (KUDO, Masa Takanashi & Yukio Sakaguchi) (c) vs. Team Dream Futures (Keisuke Ishii, Shigehiro Irie (green) & Soma Takao (blue)) [KO-D Six Man Tag Team Title Match]
I've seen KUDO once. It was in Kota Ibushi's DDT debut match.
Takao was worked over for a bit by the champs. Takao escaped and tagged out to Irie. Irie made a comeback. Ishii then tagged out and did some impressive things. He seems like an exciting performer. He and KUDO hit spinning heel kicks at the same time though, which took both men down. Takanashi and Takao tagged in. The teams started going back and forth. KUDO hit a tope suicida on Ishii. Takanashi ate a big lariat and a kneeling superkick. Ishii and Irie took out KUDO and Sakaguchi. Takanashi got a great nearfall on Takao with a crucifix bomb. Takao came back with a Jig 'n' Tonic on Takanashi: 1...2...3!
This was a fun midcard match. Ishii impressed me the most, but everyone seemed to be contributing to the match. Match Rating: ***
Danshoku Dino (c) vs. Muscle Sakai [DDT Extreme Title Match]
I have never seen either of these two wrestlers before.
Sakai did a powerpoint presentation before the match. I hope he's not explaining the rules of the match. I had no idea what was going on, but the crowd seemed to appreciate it and find it amusing. Holy shit, this is the longest powerpoint presentation. We saw Dino in backstage video. He was doing the Goldberg entrance, but then he realized he had to take a dump. So, he stripped and ran into a bathroom. He gave all of his gear to some older gentleman who did not appear to be a wrestler. I should be clear though that I am trying my best to understand what is going on during the whole deal. I could be very, very wrong.
Dino came out...at least, I assume it was him. It was the guy who took the gear from the guy that needed to take a dump. He kissed a bunch of fans on the mouth. I have no idea what's going on again. I'm just going to assume that this guy is Dino, and I didn't understand the video. There was one headlock and then a drawing contest broke out. Wait, I think it's a trivia question. Okay, I'm pretty sure it was the latter. They were sitting at desks and everything.
Sakai eventually got offended by something and applied a STF. The old guy tapped out. Oh hey, I think the real Danshoku Dino showed up. He threw toilet paper everywhere. Ok, I think I finally understand everything that's happened. Dino took off his shirt to reveal his Toru Yano tan. I think both men are ready for to battle. Dino hit a piledriver, and both men started selling their head and neck. The room went dark and music played. They started working in slow motion. Okay, this was amazing. Sakai hit Dino with an object. The room went black after the referee got to two. Still in slow motion, Dino got a nearfall with a schoolboy. Sakai then did the same. We then saw that poor older gentleman get a firecracker stuck in his bum by guys in suits on the video screen. That seems like simulated rape, right? They forcibly inserted an unwanted object into his ass? I think they were the bad guys, at least. However, I don't know if we should be making light of rape in a way where the joke is on the victim. Dino and Sakai were crying as they saluted him. I must know everything about this man. Holy shit, they lit it. His ass got burned bad.
Back to the (slow motion with musical accompaniment) action, Dino hit Sakai in the balls and then schoolboyed him: 1...2....3
I am at a loss for words. While the comedy was excessive at points and problematic in one very particular way, I thought this was a remarkable achievement overall. Some of the things they did were just so damn clever. Was it too long? Absolutely. Was it flawed? Absolutely. I was very entertained though, and I couldn't help but be impressed. Match Rating: ***1/2
Michael Nakazawa & Minoru Suzuki vs. Jun Kasai & Sanshiro Takagi [Street Fight Death Match]
Hey, I know who three of these guys are! Progress. Also, I got to hear Kazi Ni Nare, which makes me so happy.
This match is starting outside, and I am so happy. They obviously started by brawling. Kasai and Suzuki ended up back inside quickly enough. They went into a bathroom. We checked back in with Takagi and Nakazawa. Takagi threw him down some stairs: 1...2...NO! Ouch. Kasai helped out Takagi, but Suzuki came back and threw Kasai into a table. They were brawling back and forth, while the people running the merch tables were guarding the merch. The brawled finally came close to the ring, as they were brawling in the crowd. Suzuki hit Takagi with an umbrella. Nakazawa hit a diving shoulder tackle from the top rope to the stage. They are so close to the ring! Takagi used a fire extinguisher and then got a bicycle. Suzuki then hopped on the back and applied a sleeper. Five stars.
Kusai put Nakazawa through a table with a balcony dive. Suzuki had to make the save. Suzuki and Kasai finally got into the ring. Takagi tried to run them over on his bike, but they dodged him. Takagi then crashed into a giant stack of chairs. Suzuki then got on the bike on the apron. He tried to run over Kasai, but he hit Nakazawa by mistake. Ten stars. Suzuki and Kasai slugged it out. They traded chairshots to the back. Kasai eventually have him a shot to the head with the chair. Suzuki and Nakazawa did stereo sleepers. Nakazawa used his underwear. He tried to attack Takagi with his underwear, but he kept almost hitting Suzuki. He finally wiped it on Suzuki. Ruh roh. Suzuki pretended to be okay with it, but he gave Nakazawa an open hand slap. Suzuki also gave him a Gotch Piledriver. Suzuki then helped set up a ladder so Kasai could give him a big splash: 1...2...3
While this match never went through an extended stretch without entertaining me somehow, it was still overly long. I also was not a huge fan of the finish even Suzuki did a pretty great job of executing. Much like the two comedy matches earlier in the show, this match did so many clever things that put a smile on my face. Match Rating: ***
Kota Ibushi vs. Shuji Kondo
I believe this is Ibushi's first match since suffering a bad concussion in a match with KUSHIDA in NJPW.
Kondo did not want to shake hands. Kondo hit a big lariat early, and Kota retreated to the floor. Kota landed on his dome for that lariat. Kondo then hit a DDT on the apron. Kota quickly came back with The Kota Ibushi Moonsault to the Floor. He went for a standing moonsault, but Kondo got his knees up. Kondo seemed to be going for a spear, but Kota reversed it into a double stomp right on the head. They dropped each other on their heads with Germans. Kondo killed him with a lariat. Kondo then hit a pop-up powerslam and a folding powerbomb for a nearfall. Kota came back with a Frankensteiner and bridging dragon suplex for a nearfall. He got another nearfall with a Liger Bomb. Kondo came back with a super reverse suplex. Kondo then hit a piledriver, and Kota sold his head. He then hit a deadlift backdrop driver. Kota fought back and hit a series of strikes, but he got dropped on his head again with a big lariat. Another lariat from Kondo. And another lariat: 1...2...NO! Kota came back with two big lariats of his own. Kota then hit The Phoenix Splash: 1...2...3
This match was way different than I expected. They really tried to get over that Ibushi may not have been 100% yet because of the concussion, as it seemed each bump on his head knocked him a bit loopy or at least left him more weakened than usual. I could have got into that if he lost the match or won with a fluke roll-up. Unfortunately, I kind of have to call bullshit on that story if he just completely recovers by the end.
With that in mind, I did find this match to be enjoyable enough. I think they were going for epic though and came up way short. Match Rating: ***
Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Konosuke Takeshita
Tanahashi's presence makes any match seem like a bigger deal.
Takeshita looks like a really tall Masato Yoshino. Tanahashi hit an early pescado. Tanahashi was in control and going after Takeshita's back. Takeshita connected on a dropkick and then made a comeback. They traded a bunch of forearms until Tanahashi hit a dragon screw legwhip. Tanahashi got a Texas Cloverleaf, but Takeshita got to the ropes. Takeshita came back and got a good nearfall with a bridging German. He got a second nearfall with the same move. Takeshita then hit a yakuza and did Generico's turnbuckle brainbuster mannerisms. Tanahashi avoided whatever he was trying but then ate an Ace Crusher from the middle rope. Tanahashi then dropped him on his head with a German and hit a Sling Blade. Takeshito started to fire back, but Tana hit another Sling Blade. High Fly Flow: 1...2...3
I thought this was a very solid match, but it was clear that either the fans did not believe Takeshito could win or they just did not care much either way. The crowd was respectfully engaged, but they did not add anything.
As with most Tanahashi matches, this match was light on substance but easy to watch. I enjoyed the match, but there was nothing to sink your teeth into. Did those two sentences say the exact same thing? Probably. How can I phrase my feelings in the most succinct was possible...I got it. It was fun but nothing to get excited about. Match Rating: ***
HARASHIMA (c) vs. Isami Kodaka vs. Kenny Omega [KO-D Openweight Title]
I have never watched HARASHIMA or Kodaka in a match before. I'm a big fan of Omega. In the hype video for the match, Omega spoke in Japanese.
They showed each other respect before the match. Kodaka attacked first. They started with all three men in the ring at the same time. There was a lot of back and forth action from all three guys. Omega finally kicked HARASHIMA to the floor and teased a dive. Kodaka stopped him though and hit the champ with a tope suicida. Kenny then hit a tope con hello and seemed to land badly on his back. Kodaka went to take out Omega with a double stomp to the floor, but Omega avoided it. Kodaka seemed to hurt his knee. Omega then gave him a powerbomb on (but not through) a table. Omega and HARASHIMA then squared off in the ring. Omega won the battle and hit Croyt's Wrath! Kodaka returned though just in time with a double knee stomp on Kenny to break up the pin! He then hit Kenny with another double knee stomp for a nearfall. This match has picked up big time. HARASHIMA went for a springboard move, but Kodaka caught him with a superkick. Kenny went for Croyt's Wrath on Kodaka, but it was reversed. HARASHIMA sent Kodaka to the floor and hit Somato on Kenny: 1...2...3! Omega is eliminated.
HARASHIMA vs. Kodaka for the belt. They went back and forth. They traded headbutts and hit other big moves. Kodaka seemed to be busted open badly. They did a weak forearm trading sequence. HARASHIMA got a nearfall with a lariat. Kodaka came back with a brutal looking armbar, but HARASHIMA reversed it into a Yama-Ori! He then went for Somato, but Kodaka hit a lariat and a Somato of his own. Brainbuster: 1...2...NO! HARASHIMA avoided a superkick and hit Somato: 1...2...NO! He then hit a brutal variation on a piledriver followed by a springboard Somato: 1...2...3!
This match peaked right before Omega's elimination and never really reached those heights again. The HARASHIMA vs. Kodaka sequence was solid enough to make this a satisfying main event. It did break what I think should be an obvious logic point in elimination matches: the wrestlers kept breaking up pinfalls early on when there is no reason to. Much like the last two matches, this was fun overall but nothing to get too excited for. Match Rating: ***1/2
HARASHIMA gave a speech after the match, and then the DDT roster threw a party in the ring. What a beautiful company.
The 411: This was my first DDT show, and I was incredibly impressed. I am definitely planning on seeking out more from them going forward. There was a ton of variety on the show, and I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys experiencing fun.
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