411's WWE Byte This! Report 12.28.05: Simon Dean!
Posted by James Thomlison on 12.31.2005
Simon Says you will read this recap!
Hello, all. First off, I'd like to thank my co-411-er Steve Slimmer, who did a fine job filling in for me last week. He mentioned the Christian Cage watch, and he ranted on and on about the Boogeyman. Therefore, Slimmer is definitely okay in my book. Speaking of which, for those who hadn't gotten the memo, the Boogeyman SUCKS. Randle, I'll answer your pointless question Sunday in the Hidden Highlights New Years Spectacular. You may have also noticed a new format here at 411, and I couldn't be more excited. Why? Because it means I won't be bumped in the first three hours my column is up... we should get started, before I start to throw things.
As you know, before we start...
Christian Cage Watch for 12/24/05: Main-evented against Chris Harris on Impact!; won "sort of is even stretching it" clean with the Unprettier after overcoming some outside interference and using it to his advantage. Received a massive beat-down afterwards, and again took a devastating Pounce. On a side note, I think Christian Cage might be the best seller of the Pounce in the history of the planet.
Christian Cage's TNA Record: 3 - 0
Let's get started
You may have noticed that the SmackDown! Random thoughts have been missing for a couple of weeks. Well my friends, I have deliberated, and decided that it will be retiring for a while, possibly for good if I stop doing ByteThis! anytime in the near future. The fact is, I have to have Hidden Highlights back to JP early Saturday afternoon, and I A. just don't have the time to watch SmackDown! twice, and B. am just not good enough to ramble off drunk-ed comments whilst trying to focus on finding Hidden Highlights. But if any of my 3 readers would like to do their own SmackDown! Random Thoughts, I'd be more than happy to continue the segment with a reader fill-in. That also works because if they aren't funny, I'm not to blame. Moving on.
RING ENTRANCE
1. Byte This! is a weekly radio program hosted by Todd Grisham. He interviews superstars over the phone, and allow for some fan interaction (if you consider 2 questions per guest fan interaction). Sometimes the guest is in full character, sometimes completely out of character, and sometimes a little of both. During the commercial breaks, they show various clips. During the interviews, they show various clips and pictures of the superstar on the phone.
2. I will provide a general recap with some of my thoughts and opinions, and a little (VERY little) witty banter.
3. Quotes will be found after the superstar recap, and for those of you who have to hear every single word out of your superstars' mouth, a link will be provided to take you to the actual show.
4. Any typos found in the quotes or the recaps are because those are the exact words from the hosts or superstar's mouth. (Example: ya know. Example: gonna)
THE MATCH
Show kicks off (New Year's themed set) and Todd starts off by wishing everybody a Merry Happy whatever it is that you celebrate. He then updates us on his dog, who apparently, got into some trouble with a large quantity of chocolate. Apparently, chocolate is no good for dogs (.......), and it ended up costing him $1200 dollars at the ICU. We then see a picture of the dog in question as Todd is describing the neck brace, harness, heart monitor, etc (I think I took the wrong week off).
But Todd is not here to talk about his dog (because he's finished), he's here to talk about the WWE, and tonights guest! None other than Simon Dean will be joining him live in the studio in just a few minutes. He has some of the patented Simon System there, and he would like to read the back-label. "WARNING: May cause severe anal bleeding." (...nice).
He moves on to talk about Booker injuring his groin at a house show over the weekend, and it will keep him out 4 - 6 weeks. So be sure to stay tuned to see how that affects his United States Championship series with Chris Benoit.
Tina from unknown is on the phone, and she would like Todd's pick for the Elimination Chamber at New Year's Revolution. He thinks that Kane entering last is a huge statistical advantage, and so he's Todd's early favorite (good luck with that one Todd). Tina thinks it will be Kurt Angle (as it SHOULD be).
Chatroom thinks that Todd should be RAW's new General Manager, and would also like to know what his thoughts are on the Melina / Batista situation. Apparently, Melina will be filing a sexual harassment suit, but Todd will have to wait like everybody else until Friday Night SmackDown! to see the updated news.
Josh from unknown is calling. He says hello like three times, Todd can't hear him. Todd hangs up. Nice.
Let's give Larry from unknown a try. He wants to know why Todd was so nervous when talking to Vince McMahon on RAW. A. Despite being 60, he could kick Todd's ass. B. He yelled and intimidated me. C. He signs the paychecks and is his boss (and D. He fires people for sneezing in the wrong direction).
They're about to go to break, but before they do, Todd would like to tell us that they're going to be giving away the actual Bret Hart DVD Vince held when reviewing it this past Monday (I'm assuming this to be authentic, because the one he brought to the ring and threw into the crowd was unopened, and this one appears to be open). Break time!
During the break, they show a clip of Vince critiquing the DVD this past week on RAW.
We're back and Christian from unknown wants to know who should challenge Batista next for his title. Since Simon Dean is the guest tonight, Todd says him. Christian doesn't think Simon Dean has a chance, and thinks Orton should challenge next (Christian, meet Randle...Randle, this is Christian). They also talk about how down the road Lashley and Batista should go at it.
Bill from Oklahoma is on the line, and wants to know what Todd thinks about the Vince / Shawn incident from RAW. Todd thinks he (Shawn) may be in trouble, because when Vince gets focused, he gets relentless.
Todd moves to the Power 25, where Cena has grabbed the #1 spot. Rounding out the top 3 are Batista and Big Show. He pimps this week's Heat and Velocity.
Eric from California is on the phone, and is apparently 7. He wants to know who Todd thinks will be the next RAW GM. Todd seems to think that Vince is having so much fun with things lately, he may just do it himself. Eric thinks it should be Todd.
We go to break, and they show a commercial for next week's RAW, and more specifically, the John Cena vs. Kurt Angle First Blood match. Another commercial for the WrestleMania Anthology DVD Set. A final commercial for WWE 24/7 On Demand Service. They also show a promo for the Simon System.
We're back, and joining us in the studio is Simon Dean! [Clearly, Simon will be in full character.] (Que fuzzy wave effect into Promo Format!)
**
SIMON: Listen Todd I know it's your pleasure to have me on the show. I've been wanting to get on here for a long time now, and we have a lot of work to do, and a lot of people to help. So let's get to it. I'm here to pitch some products, make a little money for myself, and just reach a hand out to those people who need help. I'm a giving guy. First off Todd I have to ask, I heard you say something about my fitness powder here - that it may cause anal leakage? Well I wouldn't suggest that you take any because I wouldn't want it to have an affect on your life life (BUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNN). I also hear you're having some trouble with your dog. What kind of dog was it?
TODD: It is, still alive, it's a Cocker Spaniel.
SIMON: Oh, I thought it was a Chocolate Lab. (laughs) ..ah that jokes for free.... anyways Grish, I know the pleasures all yours; you have some very interesting phone callers by the way.
TODD: Would you mind taking a call real quick right off the top?
SIMON: First, I'm convinced that the American school system is a complete failure after listening to these people try to put one complete sentence together. But I've got some glue, so I'll try to string some words together for these people so let's see what they got.
TODD: Okay, Simon Dean, in the Christmas spirit clearly.
SIMON: Not really but...
TODD: Okay we have Chris is on the phone. Chris you're on the phone with SD.
CHRIS: Hey Simon.
SIMON: How ya doing, Bill? (ahahahahahaha THAT is why this man gets Promo Format!!!)
CHRIS: Thanks. You once said that everybody in the WWE needs to be on the Simon System. But if you had to pick one person from RAW and one from SD! that needed to be on the Simon System, who would they be? (Viscera and Super-whateverthefuck)
SIMON: RAW has to be Big Show. Chris do you not watch the show? You could have answered that one yourself. SmackDown! I'd have to go with ....uhh.... you know, we're a pretty in shape group of guys. By the way I'd like to send a shot out to Tazz and Michael Cole, the #1 announce team in the WWE. But on Smackdown...
TODD: What about the Boogeyman? (damn you Todd... damn you straight to Hell I say!)
SIMON: That's a very sore subject Todd Grisham. Much like your personal life, it's something I'd rather not delve into (Dear Simon Dean, you are now officially my favorite wrestler - JT). The Boogeyman and I have an understanding (Dear Simon Dean, forget everything I just said - JT). He has his worm fetish, I have my protein; they're pretty much the same thing. So I'd appreciate it if you didn't bring that up (wouldn't we all).
TODD: Okay.
SIMON: Let's not be a funny man Grisham.
TODD: Okay, let's talk to Ahmed. Ahmed, talk to Simon Dean.
AHMED: Hey Simon!
SIMON: Hey Muhammed Ahbed, what's up?
AHMED: How is it fighting the Boogeyman? (.....apparently, our young friend neither reads me or watches the show live)
SIMON: (sarcastically) It was the most excited experience of my entire wrestling career.
AHMED: It's such a pleasure to talk to you guys.
SIMON: Listen Ahmed, you better go to bed soon, Santa's on his way (ummm... it's the 28th?).
AHMED: Do you know how old I am?
SIMON: You're what.. six?
AHMED: No, it's my birthday today. I'm thirteen.
SIMON: Well, Happy 4th of July... hang up on him.
TODD: Sorry.
SIMON: We don't need to talk to him. He has no money, he can't buy anything.
TODD: Well, he's thirteen. At what age do you suggest-
SIMON: I was working when I was six years old. I had a paper route, I was washing cars, I was laying bricks, I was cutting lawn, and I was developing my patented Simon System, even at that age. These kids today, they're not working, they're not making any bread for their family, they're not pulling their weight, they're not doing nothin. They're a bunch of mooches. That's why this country is going down the toilet.
TODD: (from the chatroom) Todd, ask Simon Dean if he should take on the Cruiserweight Champion, Kid Kash. What about it Simon can you take him?
SIMON: Kid Kash? ...that'd be like taking money - get it.. cash - from a baby. Look I like Kid Kash. he's in pretty good shape; not as good a shape as I am, but I think if I hit him with one CurbStomp that'd be all she wrote, and I'd pick up the championship and put it in my already weighted down weight bag. By the way I'd like to promote something right now. I have with me a very limited number of Simon Dean action figures. This one (he's holding one), I'm going to give out of the kindness of my heart, for a small shipping fee for the winner. I'm going to give this to the fattest phone caller of the night. The most out of shape caller we have tonight - and you have to verify. You have to send in a photo - and this is gonna come to you. And for a nominal fee I'll actually sign it for you too. This is like QVC, you don't get nothing for free.
TODD: On that note, let's take a phone call. Let's see how fat we can go. Let's do line 4. Justin how much do you weigh?
JUSTIN: I weight about 182 pounds.
TODD: You're off the line, see ya. Man, I'm getting in a bad mood just being around you. Let's try Bob. Bob, are you fat?
BOB: Yes, I'm huge.
SIMON: With a name like Bob? Sure you are.
BOB: I am I'm so fat. I'm like 2 billion pounds.
SIMON: 2 billion pounds... of course you are Bob. Well, you are on the show, so what would you like to ask, Bob?
BOB: Simon I was wondering, where do you get the Simon System?
TODD: He wants to buy some.
SIMON: You can get the Simon System directly from me. There's a number I'm sure they can flash up sometime in the upcoming weeks (ehehehe). For a very nominal fee you can buy it. I'm sure pretty soon it will be at live events. It might actually be coming to a GNC near you. You just have to keep your eyes open, Bob. It usually not in the places where you look for food; the greasy chicken houses, the ice cream parlors, those kind of places. You're not going to find it there.
TODD: We have Andrew from Pennsylvania.
ANDREW: I was wondering if Simon would ever have a talk show on SmackDown! (yeah, that's exactly what we need, more stuff that isn't wrestling...).
SIMON: Well, Andrew it's funny that you ask that. I think a Simon Says segment would be a real highlight for the show. I would be 'talkin smack' so to speak on SmackDown!. That was for you Tazz. I like it. So why don't you guys call in, buy some Simon System, give us your ideas, and start a petition or something to get my talk show going. I might actually invite Todd on my show. That might do wonders for your career from what I've heard.
TODD: Someone here (chatroom) wants to know what you think about Viscera.
SIMON: ....next question. Why is there a chatroom here? There should be... bah... get somebody else.
TODD: Where you ever fat in your life? That's a good question.
SIMON: Actually... do we have a bible around here? Here we'll just use this thing, it's Holy (his powder). People I have to make a confession. At one time in my life, I used to weight - and this is the God's honest truth - I used to weigh 265 pounds. I did. I was a fat, disgusting, out of shape human being, much like how many of you people are today. But I went to school. I studied Kinesiology; Fitness Theory. I discovered ...I got tired of getting made fun of. I got tired of being a pathetic loser. (just so you know, he's starting to cry a little). And I discovered supplementation and fitness, and the joy of health. So I've tried to create all of this and put this into a way of life. The Simon System isn't ..this isn't just ...I didn't just fabricate a bunch of products. I mean, I'm the head of the Church of Simonology (ahaha it never ends). It's a way of life (he has to pause for a minute because he's cracking himself up, and I suspect Todd as well).... ....People, when you call in and get my patented Simon System, you are getting my entire life's work. And some of you just want to throw it away like, like a dog in the streets. I was... I was a fat disgusting slob at one point in my life. I wanted to make a change. Dedication and motivation, and the determination to turn myself into the man I am today. And I'm a better man for it. Check out the Kenneth Cole (his watch). That didn't happen by accident. No.
TODD: (laughing)(we can now see him in the camera, and he is covering his face because he's laughing so hard)
SIMON: Shut up. Nobody asked you. So I think you should do the same thing, kid. Call in and buy it.
TODD: Now, you're Simon System. You in fact created it, and we're going to take a look at one of your first commercials. Let's take a look back while Simon collects himself. Here it is, the very first Simon Dean commercial.
*Yup, you guessed it. They show the commercial.*
SIMON: Wait wait wait a minute. Back that up, back that commercial up a minute.
*They do*
SIMON: Okay, roll it.... get ready to freeze it... get ready to freeze it.... freeze it!
*It's a rather large man chomping down on some BBQ wings.*
SIMON: I know who that is. Captain KFC is right around here somewhere.
TODD: His name is Lou. He's our floor producer.
SIMON: He's a floor producer, and I caught him red-handed, or greasy handed one day eating that chicken. Come over here.
TODD: He doesn't want-
SIMON: He works for this place, and I work for this place, it's the same thing. Come over here Lou. I tried to change your life the first day I met you. Just because you have a headset on and papers in your hand don't mean you got power.
TODD: Lou, thanks for following the dress code by the way... shorts and a T-shirt. (Lou is also a rather heavyset man)
SIMON: This is no way to live Lou. I met you, what was it, a year ago? And I caught you greasy handed eating friend chicken, and I tried to tell you that is no way to live. I mean, they're going to be making (as he holds up the Warrior DVD) a "Self-Destruction of Lou" someday, because you're going to eat yourself into an early grave! Lou, it's a good thing I came here tonight, because believe it or not I have a brand new product, Grish. That's right I do. I have in my possession - I can't believe this, what a stroke of luck - I have my patented Simon System Holiday weight loss system. And tonight, out of the kindne... you got any money on you?
LOU: *shakes head no*
TODD: He makes four dollars an hour here, so-
SIMON: Anyway, Lou. For a very small nominal fee which we'll discuss later, I'm gonna give you this system. You're going to take some of these tonight, and we're gonna work out, and with your help Lou I'm going to prove to the entire world that this stuff really works. Are you in for this Lou?
TODD: Come on, Lou
SIMON: 2006 is your year, Lou. 2006 just can't be your weight Lou. This is the year of you. Lou?
Yeah, yes.
SIMON: He's in. I knew he'd be in.
TODD: Do you want to get started with him while we take a quick commercial time out?
SIMON: Let's do it.
TODD: Okay we're going to take a break, when we get back, Simon and Lou will start working on the holiday weight.
**
They start off the break with a commercial for WWEshop.com. They then show a promo for Simon's New Year's resolution.
We're back, and Simon is making Lou do push-ups. He has .5 of one completed. Simon is grilling him while promoting the Simon System. Lou is now doing reps with a resistance chord.
Dakota from Maine is on the phone with Simon, Lou, and Todd. He wants to know if Simon is planning on going for any titles, and if he qualifies for the Cruiserweight title. His immediately goals for the future are complete world domination, hitting the Powerball, and marrying Eva Longoria (not a bad set of goals). In the meantime he'll settle for a few matches on SmackDown!, selling a few fitness products. He's a bit out of the weight limit, so he doesn't see himself going for the Cruiser belt, although he has no problems beating those guys up every now and again.
He continues to grill Lou as Lou continues to work out.
Chris is on the line, and wants to know about his time in ECW and if he thinks the bWo will ever reform. Simon says he gets asked this, and he'd like to clear something up. Apparently, he bears a striking resemblance to some old ECW wrestler, Nova (pure gold). He was a guy, who was a great wrestler. Actually he was my favorite wrestler in ECW. No, it wasn't him. He was a great wrestler, and he was a big fan, and a big fan of ECW (except the chubby wrestlers). So he cannot answer a question about something he knows nothing about.
He actually gives Lou some praise, and Lou has actually been doing these reps for about five minutes straight now. Simon has switched the regiment up to jumping jacks now.
**
TODD: Some of the people in the chatroom feel bad for Lou, and would like to know how you felt when Stone Cold used to pick on him.
SIMON: Tell those people you pick bugars, you don't pick on people.
TODD: I think we have a cli-
SIMON: Oh come on don't show that.
*They show the clip of Simon getting stunned*
SIMON: That was disgusting, becau... Lou (gasping and bent over) are you okay? Don't laugh Grisham this isn't funny.
TODD: I'm not laughing.
SIMON: Mr. Comedy Man over there. What happened on that tape right there, is that Stone Cold Steve Austin assaulted me. I asked for that time to go out there and push products, because I was an advertiser / wrestler on the show. So what he did there was come out on the show, try to poison me with alcohol - which by the way, I didn't agree to - and then he attacked me with one of them Stunners! Ya know, I didn't sign on for that. I was just trying to make peace with those men. What they DIDN'T show you on that was later that night. Me and Mr. Austin had an altercation in the back, and let's just say you didn't see hi... don't laugh. Why do people laugh when I tell them that? Nobody believes that.
TODD: I find it hard to believe but-
SIMON: Well, I don't find it hard to believe.
TODD: How about this. We're gong to ask a trivia question, you continue to work out with Lou. Here's the trivia question up on your screen.
(At No Mercy, how many Double Cheeseburgers did Lashley make Simon Dean eat? - 20 bitches, I got money on it)
TODD: Man that was amazing you ate all of it. I mean, you didn't really have a choice.
SIMON: I had a choice. I was a man of my word. You know, I don't want to talk about cheeseburgers. Did you not notice that I competed that night with a broken hand?
TODD: That you did.
SIMON: You saw it. I got schnookered that night by Bobby Lashley.
TODD: What is schnookered?
SIMON: You know exactly what it means. I got conned. I got snowballed. Bobby Lashley hit me with something. He hit me with a tray. He hit me with a Whiplash, that was it, and I had to eat some cheeseburgers that night.
TODD: But they question is how many did he eat? If you call in and get it right-
SIMON: It made me sick, he almost turned me into Lou.
TODD: Well, Kevin from New Jersey do you know the answer to the trivia question or do you have a question for Simon?
KEVIN: Simon, how'd you come up with the Simon System (these kids really piss me off that don't pay any attention to the show and ask the same shit that's already been answered three different times...)
SIMON: From a fortune cookie, Kevin... why is it that everybody that calls this show sounds like they should be hanging out at Neverland Ranch? Do we get anyone over fifteen? It was through lifetime dedication, motivation, and desire. Because I don't want kids like you to turn into guys like Lou. So you should have asked for it this Christmas, and you might have gotten something worth value instead of a crummy goldfish, a piece of coal, and a couple of video games that are probably too complicated for your little brain to play anyway. Alright? Go play in traffic (don't hold back next time Simon).
TODD: Okay, we've got Zack. Zack do you know the answer to our trivia question?
ZACK: Was it ten? (nope)
TODD: That is incorrect.
*a bit more berating of Lou to pass the time*
TODD: Okay we have another caller. George do you have the answer?
GEORGE: Was it twenty-five? (nope)
TODD: That is incorrect.
SIMON: Twenty-five...? How is it even possible to eat twenty-five cheeseburgers? What an idiot.
TODD:Joseph, how many cheeseburgers did Lashley make Simon Dean eat at No Mercy? (a look from Simon). (To Simon:) I know he's young. I know.
JOSEPH: Twenty.
TODD: Twenty! That's right! We're going to put you on hold, and send you the Bret Hart DVD, is that cool?
JOSEPH: Yeah, it's completely free right?
TODD: Yes, it's completely free. Only Simon Dean charges for shipping.
SIMON: Nothing in life is completely free, kid.
TODD: It's completely free, brother. There, I think I did it right (put him on hold). Alright now what's going on with Lou? (Simon is still working him out)
SIMON: Okay, look at this Louis. This can all be yours again (he's teasing a pizza).
LOU: I-
SIMON: Hold on, let me finish my spiel. This is the most intrigal part of the training Lou. What I'm going to do is offer you a reward. I'm going to wiggle this in front of you (it's a donut, not pizza), much like you'd wiggle something in front of a normal man to get him to do something. Grisham what are you laughing at?
TODD: I don't know, this is crazy!
SIMON: Now, Lou, if you do this sit-up... this is a very advanced training technique so do not try this at home. Louis I want you to do the sit up and try and get the donut. Come on Lou! I know you got it! Come on Lou!
*Lou makes it all the way up, and snags the donut, which is immediately snagged back by Dean*
SIMON: Lou, what the Hell are you doing!? Lou, you're totally breaking protocol. This is not a gimmick, this is a training tool, Lou! Now, obviously, you've forced me to go to extreme measures Lou. (he has what appears to be a least or something, and grabs another donut). I had to do this with my cat one ti-
TODD: Is this legal? Are we going to get another sexual harassment lawsuit?
SIMON: No, we're not... don't laugh Grisham. Now Lou, I'm going to hang this (donut attached to rope of some sort) out in front of you. Get back in your little sit-up position again. Now, I'm going to dangle this in front of you and we're gong to do the same thing. I want you to come up and do the sit-up.
TODD: (laughing pretty heavily now) This is ridiculous. (actually, it is pretty funny watching this man attempt to do ONE sit-up)
SIMON: It's not ridiculous, it works. If you want results you have to- (Lou has again snagged the donut) - You're right Grish, this is completely ridiculous. I don't know why I thought this would work. Fortunately, the pills have kicked in by now, this guy is losing weight left and right.
TODD: We're going to go to a commercial break, and when we get back we'll check Lou's pulse... donuts.. phone calls, whatever else. Bye.
**
During the break, they show a commercial for John Cena's "You Can't See Me" CD. They then show a commercial for the new Eddie Guerrero book, "Cheating Death, Stealing Life". Commercial for New Years Revolution, and more specifically, the Elimination Chamber.
**
TODD: Welcome back to what can only be described as a debacle-type edition of ByteThis!. Simon Dean took Lou into another room, God knows what he's doing with him now. They'll be back in a couple of minutes, so in the meantime, I'll take a couple of phone calls. Ryan has been on hold for twenty-two minutes! What is so important that you want to ask me?
RYAN: When they bring back Saturday Night Main Event, is it going to be every two weeks like it used to be?
TODD: I do not know all the details as of now, and nothing is confirmed, but from what I understand, the first one is going to be in February, in Detroit (I'm so there). I don't think it will be every two weeks, but I'm pretty sure that they're going to have one every couple of months, every other month, something like that. I'm excited are you?
RYAN: Very excited.
TODD:Bill from Massachusetts?
BILL:Hi Todd. Do you think JR is ever going to come back to RAW?
TODD: Well, Linda McMahon fired him, and we haven't heard from him since. We know he had some health problems. If he is coming back, I don't think it's going to be anytime soon. Stranger things have happened, but I don't think so.
**
Todd starts talking about SmackDown!, and reminds us about the whole Melina / Batista situation. We're getting a sneak peek.
Not really a sneak peak, more of just a promo segment of shit we've already seen.
We're back and apparently Simon is back! Tonight we will be witnessing the greatest accomplishment of his entire fitness career. He will now present Lou (who is in fact some skinny kid with a sign over his face). He lost over 200 pounds in just under forty minutes. Grisham smells fish. Simon takes checks, money orders, credit cards, cash, even food stamps. Simon cuts a little promo on the Simon System.
Todd wishes everyone a Happy New Year, and they end the show.
THE FINISHER
Man, this really was a hilarious episode of ByteThis. I was a little wary of Simon when he first debuted, but he quickly showed me that he could make a gimmick like that work, and be damn entertaining in doing so. I do hope sometime in 2006 he gets used for SOMETHING other than a comedy relief jobber. The man is gold on the mic, and solid in the ring. Considering this is the first ByteThis! I had watched since the Tazz / Cole episode, I was expecting to be somewhat bored, but Dean made sure it was no such thing.
Have a Happy New Year folks, and remember... always mark for Christian Cage.
PROMOS
Cook is now on Thursdays, because he's much funnier than a Sunday slot, like the one I have.
Larry has cut back on his columns, or so he'd like you to believe. The truth is the Misses told him if he didn't do the holiday thing, he was sleeping on the couch until 2007.
Randle, despite Daniel's valiant effort, still cannot stand Randy Orton. In related news, the Boogeyman blows. In a perfect world, Vince would put Orton and Boogeyman in a box, and ship it to some island nobody knows existed, where they'd never be heard from again.
JP is still defending the McMahon-Hemsley era. Because he likes losing cases.
Clarke-Rossi have your Year-End-Armchair-Booker Awards, where the de-push of Christian was highlighted for the travesty that it was. Read immediately.
