411's WWE Velocity Report 12.31.05

Posted by Scott Fried on 01.01.2006

And a Heidenreich New Year

Simon Dean versus Brian Kendrick

Kendrick's got the golden mask. Dean cuts a pre-match promo about how Kendrick is actually too skinny. Had to happen eventually. He offers him a one-year supply of his Lean Dean Mass Plus bars. Seriously, someone has to take the bar, like it, and start teaming with Dean. Or a stable- he could give the mass-increasing bars to The Dicks. He gives Kendrick five seconds to take him up on his offer, but Kendrick jumps him with two left. That's hardly dramatic. Kendrick gets several punches. Dean reverses a whip, but Kendrick slides under his legs and gets a monkey flip, then a dropkick. Dean throws Kendrick to the apron, but Kendrick comes back. Dean hits him, but Kendrick gets a rollup for two. Kendrick gets punches and kicks, but Dean catches a crossbody and swings Kendrick out into a backbreaker. Dean hits a kneedrop in the corner, then kicks away at Kendrick. He rams his knee into Kendrick's head, then pulls him out and hits repeated knee shots. Dean gets a clubbing blow, then a double underhook backbreaker for two. Another cover gets two, and Dean grabs a front facelock. Kendrick gets up, and Dean beats on him. Dean tries to get a beal out of the corner, but Kendrick reverses into a backslide for two. Dean gets a few knee shots to Kendrick's back, then hits the curb stomp. A standing splash gets two for Dean. Dean grabs a double underhook hold, but Kendrick gets up. Dean slugs him down and lifts him up with the underhook, but Kendrick gets a hurricanrana. Kendrick fights back with punches, then gets a dropkick. Kendrick gets a running elbow, then a couple of flying forearms. He dropkicks Dean, then goes to the second turnbuckle and hits a swinging DDT for two. He grabs Dean in a front facelock, but Dean backs him into the corner. Kendrick goes for the Sliced Bread #2, but Dean flings him off and hits the Simonizer for the win.

Winner: Simon Dean
Match Time: 5:02
Rating: **3/4
Commentary: I love Simon Dean, but it always gets me down a bit to watch the bigger guy decimate the cruiserweight (even though Dean's probably a cruiser himself). Still, a decent match.

Paul Burchill versus John Xavier

Hey, so somebody found Heidenreich's first name. Lockup to start, and Burchill sweeps Xavier down. Another lockup, and Xavier gets a rollup for two. Back up, he gets an armlock, but Burchill reverses a whip. Xavier comes back with a leapfrog, then nails a running knee. He sends Burchill to the corner and beats on him, then whips him across the ring. Burchill springs out of the opposite corner, then catches Xavier with a powerslam for two. Clubbing blows by Burchill, followed by a head twist and a bodyslam. Xavier blocks a suplex, then fights back with punches. Burchill gets the better of the brawl, kicking Xavier in the corner. He follows up with a clothesline, then another head twist. Back suplex on John (if that is his real name) gets two. Burchill applies a half nelson with a crossface. Xavier gets loose and hits some punches, but Burchill overtakes him and gets a slam. Burchill goes for a Vader Bomb, but Xavier gets his knees up. Xavier dropkicks him in the corner, then gets punches and chops, followed by knee shots. Xavier goes to the rope, but Burchill catches him with a punch. Xavier reverses a hiptoss by getting his leg on Burchill's head and flipping over. Burchill hits a clothesline, then picks Xavier up and hits the C4 (backflipping Uranage). He goes up top and lands a knee to Xavier back for the win.

Winner: Paul Burchill
Match Time: 4:32
Rating: **1/2
Commentary: Most of the offense was a little bland, but it worked well altogether. I'm surprised we saw the C4 in WWE, though I don't expect Undertaker or Batista to be taking it anytime soon. Maybe Benoit. Cause he's crazy like that.

Jamie Noble versus Paul London

A match between these guys made my top ten list. Let's hope for big things here! London's also got the freaking mask on, and he spider-crawls from the middle rope before doing the backflip. Lockup to start, and Noble gets a hammerlock. London rolls out and grabs a headlock. He takes Noble over, Noble grabs London's head with his legs, they get up, London with another headlock takeover. Noble throws London down, then chops him in the corner. London fights back with a bunch of kicks, then a hurricanrana. Bionic Elbow by London. Noble whips London to the ropes, London gets a back elbow and the Mushroom Stomp. Noble throws London over the top, then dropkicks him as he skins the cat. Noble follows him out to the floor, then tosses him back in and rams his head on the apron. Cover, but London gets the rope. Noble gets a snapmare, then several kicks to the back on London. Elbow drop gets two for Noble. Noble applies an abdominal stretch, and London eventually gets the hiptoss. Noble goes for another, but London reverses into one of his own. Noble reverses that with a gutbuster. London hits a big dropkick. When the get back up, forearms are traded. London hits a sweet enziguri for two. London goes for a Dragon Suplex, but Noble grabs the ropes. London kicks his hand off (the rope, not his body), then goes for a back suplex. Noble lands on his feet and rolls London back. He tries for the Dragon Sleeper, but London turns around and rams him to the buckle. London puts Noble up top and follows, but Noble knocks him down. London superkicks Noble on the buckle, then goes up and hits a hurricanrana. He tries to go down into a cover, but Noble rolls through for two. Noble blocks a punch, lifts London up, and hits the double knee backbreaker. He applies the Dragon Sleeper, and that's all.

Winner: Jamie Noble
Match Time: 5:34
Rating: ***1/2
Commentary: Really good stuff here. These guys would be better served with a good fifteen minute encounter, but the bottom line remains that they can put on a great match regardless of the time.

On Smackdown, Melina charged Batista with sexual assault. Later, MNM beat Batista and Rey for the titles when Mark Henry, Melina's new enforcer appeared. Well, if she doesn't want to be sexually harassed again, she picked the wrong guy.

Vito and Nunzio versus Animal and Heidenreich

Animal and Vito start things off, but Vito tags an enthusiastic Nunzio. Nunzio charges Animal, but takes a shoulder. Same thing happens again. Nunzio goes for a crossbody, but Animal catches him and gets a few backbreakers. Tag to Heidenreich, who gets a wristlock and a shoulder smash. Tag back to Animal, who whips Nunzio and catches him in a backbreaker. Vito breaks with a chopblock, and Nunzio gets some punches for a two count. Tag to Vito, who stomps away on Animal. He hooks Animal's leg on the bottom rope and hits a butt drop, then tags Nunzio. The FBI get a leg splitter. Nunzio hits a few punches, then tags Vito, who gets a powerslam and a springing Vader Bomb. Tag to Nunzio, who covers but gets thrown out of the ring on the kickout. Animal points to Heidenreich, but gets attacked from behind by Vito. Nunzio re-enters and comes off the second rope with a crossbody. He gets caught and powerslammed, and Heidenreich is tagged in. Big boots on both heels, then the side slam on Nunzio for two when Vito breaks. Animal backdrops Vito out of the ring, and they get the Doomsday Device on Nunzio for the win.

Winners: Animal and Heidenreich
Match Time: 3:47
Rating: **1/2
Commentary: Nothing too bad. I really enjoy watching Vito and Nunzio, and the new LOD was good in their role, as well (though I can't help but think that Animal would be better as the constant face-in-peril, not that there was one in this match).