411's WWE ByteThis! Report 01.04.06: Carlito, Chris Masters, and Mr. Kennedy
Posted by James Thomlison on 01.07.2006
The cool one, the cocky one, and a surprise visit from Mr. Kennedy!
Hello, all. How was everyone's New Year? Safe I hope. I spent the entire weekend completely and utterly drunk, sans a one hour break to have breakfast with my parents. Ooooh, what a good idea that was. At any rate, the holidays are over, we've all settled into the new format here at 411, and things appear to be back to normal. I'm expecting 2006 to be a big year for 411, and I hope you continue to join and / or enjoy us. As we speak, I'm sick, and stuck at work. Tell me if this makes sense to you people:
Something seem a little odd there? Yeah, me too. So I pulled the all-nighter Thursday, and a slew of cigarettes at 5 a.m. in twenty degree weather is where I contracted this silly little head cold. It has not been fun at all. But then, is it ever fun when you feel like you have a fat man sitting on the bridge of your nose? Nah, I didn't think so either. At any rate, I've got puffs in hand and drugs in system, so let's get to it.
As you know, before we start...
Christian Cage Watch for 12/31/05: Came out at the end to chase off AMW, and tell them that they'd be defending the titles against AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels on the Midnight edition of Impact!.
Christian Cage Watch for 1/01/05: Kicked off the new year with Mike Tenay for the announcement that Sting had joined TNA; announced that he and Sting would be teaming up against Monty and Jarrett at Turning Point, got into a war of words with Jarrett, and then proved once again that the man can sell a pounce like nobody's fucking business.
Let's get started
You may have noticed that the SmackDown! Random thoughts have been missing for a couple of weeks. Well my friends, I have deliberated, and decided that it will be retiring for a while, possibly for good if I stop doing ByteThis! anytime in the near future. The fact is, I have to have Hidden Highlights back to JP early Saturday afternoon, and I A. just don't have the time to watch SmackDown! twice, and B. am just not good enough to ramble off drunk-ed comments whilst trying to focus on finding Hidden Highlights. But if any of my 3 readers would like to do their own SmackDown! Random Thoughts, I'd be more than happy to continue the segment with a reader fill-in. That also works because if they aren't funny, I'm not to blame. Moving on.
RING ENTRANCE
1. Byte This! is a weekly radio program hosted by Todd Grisham. He interviews superstars over the phone, and allow for some fan interaction (if you consider 2 questions per guest fan interaction). Sometimes the guest is in full character, sometimes completely out of character, and sometimes a little of both. During the commercial breaks, they show various clips. During the interviews, they show various clips and pictures of the superstar on the phone.
2. I will provide a general recap with some of my thoughts and opinions, and a little (VERY little) witty banter.
3. Quotes will be found after the superstar recap, and for those of you who have to hear every single word out of your superstars' mouth, a link will be provided to take you to the actual show.
4. Any typos found in the quotes or the recaps are because those are the exact words from the hosts or superstar's mouth. (Example: ya know. Example: gonna)
THE MATCH
Show kicks off with Todd doing an Orton pose! He wishes us all a Happy New Year, and dives right into New Years Revolution (Sunday, January 8th - 8:00 p.m., live on Pay-Per-View), and more specifically, the Elimination Chamber. We relive last weeks, and it's being dubbed as one of the most entertaining ByteThis' in history (I'd tend to agree).
***
They show a recap video clip of last week's show.
***
Todd pimps Simon Dean, and Lou is back! A little witty banter between the two; mostly just discussing the Simon System and the picture we saw ending last weeks show of Lou tied up with a piece of pizza in his mouth. Todd reminds us that ByteThis! is archived, so if you didn't see last weeks, go watch it! (it really is funny people) He moves on to the Batista and Melina situation.
***
They show a brief video recap of the situation with them (why is she suing for sexual harassment when she's claiming rape? meh.), and also Dave and Rey losing the belts to MNM. That Hurricarana off the top of the ring apron owned. Oh look, Mark Henry in a feud with Dave. Yay.
***
We're back and Pat from Unknown is on the phone. He's wondering why Mark Henry came back. Was it for Batista's World Heavyweight Title? Please, please don't let it be that. Todd believes that anyone in wrestling wants it. Pat also heard a rumor (aka a spoiler) that Batista would be in a Steel Cage match against MNM this Friday. Todd has no idea. He doesn't know because he waits until Friday like everyone else to find out. One last thing from Pat. He wants to know if Todd heard about Sting signing with TNA (well I'll be! They haven't cut it out yet), and what Vince thinks about it. Todd honestly doesn't think Vince McMahon cares about what anybody else is doing, and he thanks Pat for calling.
Up next is Ahmed from . Ahmed is 13. I know this because he called last week and it was his birthday and Simon wished him a Happy 4th of July. Todd's birthday is next Monday (pay attention Randle), and some guy name Adam in the chatrooms birthday is Saturday. Happy Birthday to all. Ahmed would like to know who Todd is picking for the Elimination Chamber. Todd's going with Kurt Angle (you went with Kane last week, Todd).
It's Power 25 time! John Cena is first. Kane has jumped to second. Batista, Shawn Michaels, and HHH round out the top five.
Aleece from Unknown is on the phone, and she's silent because she doesn't get Todd's joke about her name. She finally regains the ability to speak, and wants to know who Todd thinks is going to win the Bra-and-Panties match at New Years Revolution (Answer: we, the fans). Todd agrees with me. They all look good. They'll all lose their clothes. He wants Candace Michelle to win, but not really, because that would entail her not losing her clothes. Good man, Todd.
Bret from Kentucky has called in, and he actually sounds over the age of 18. Bret wants to wish Todd a happy birthday, and let him know he really enjoys his wit when hosting ByteThis!. Bret also thinks, and I quote, "I really hope Cena doesn't retain at New Years Revolution. His three move finishers are getting a little old". It isn't that he isn't a fan of Cena's, he just thinks it's growing a little stale, and someone else should kick off 2006 by winning the belt. Congratulations Bret, the IWC loves you.
Todd lets up know that he'll be giving away two DVDs. One is Divas - South of the Border (which I own, thank you free gift code shopzone!), and the other is The History of WrestleManias I - IX. Todd pimps Heat and Velocity, and runs through some of the card. Back to Stacy Keibler. She has legs and knows how to use them (indeed). Todd pimps ABC's Dancing with the Stars, which debuted last Thursday.
***
They go to break and show the segment for Stacy Keibler that they showed on RAW from DWTS. After that it's the usual commercials for the a href=http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000BH2WF8/qid=1136671518/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-4372945-0119102?n=507846&s=dvd&v=glance>WrestleMania Anthology DVD Box Set, and WWE 24/7 On Demand. Promo for New Years Revolution. They show the promo video they used to show before Carlito debuted.
***
We're back and on the phone is Carlito Caribbean Cool! [Carlito is always in character.] I imagine if I didn't give him Promo Format, JP would kil-
JP: You know it!
Alright, you silly little Carlito mark you.
TODD: Carlito welcome to the show!
CARLITO:That's right, Carlito is the coolest customer out there. He's the coolest person in the WWE, and future WWE Champion.
TODD: Alright, well you've got your shot Sunday in the Elimi-
CARLITO:Got my shot? Nah, it's in the bag. I got it. No problem. Carlito isn't scared of some Elimination Chamber. I'm going in there without the belt, and coming out with a brand new title.
TODD: Is it because of the longer hair? We're looking at a video and it's shorter. Why is it getting so long?
CARLITO:The hair gets cooler everyday so why not let it keep growing. I've got great hair, people like to see it, so let it out there, let it flow.
TODD: Another thing, your music and shirt say "you spit in the face of people who don't want to be cool", yet the last time I had you on ByteThis! you spit in my face and I *wanted* to be cool! I'm just not cool. How does this work?
CARLITO:I also spit in the faces of people who are not cool, and you Todd... unfortunately, I don't think you're ever going to be cool.
TODD: I'm having you as my guest, that's pretty cool.
CARLITO:That is pretty cool. That's a step in the right direction.
TODD: Carlito, what is the one key for you? I know you've never been in an Elimination Chamber and that you've probably talked to a couple of guys who've been in there. What is the one key for you to pick up a win this Sunday?
CARLITO:The key to success is Carlito being himself. If I do that there should be no problem. I looked at all the other competitors and none of them can really touch Carlito. Carlito is way better than all the other guys.
TODD: Now is there any moral victory for you in this? Let's say you knock out four other guys and it comes down to say you and Cena at the end or Kane - you lose but you're the first runner up. Is that any consulation for you? Or is it 'win or nothing'?
CARLITO:That means I'm the first loser. That means nothing. You either get the title or you don't. It's pretty simple, Carlito is leaving that chamber with the title in his hand.
TODD: We're watching some footage of how you advanced to the Elimination Chamber. You picked up a pretty impressive victory over Shelton Benjamin. Can you talk a little bit about how things went that night for you, and how excited you were to get that win?
CARLITO:Well... Carlito knew he was going to win. It isn't like he was surprised or accomplished anything big. Carlito, he would have been disappointed if anything else had happened. He went in there, I knew I was going to win, I win, I got the win, I went home. That's it. That's all.
TODD: He went after your patented apple there. Is that what happens when people mess with your apple?
CARLITO:It just proves that you can try to act like Carlito and try to be Carlito but you cannot be Carlito. Shelton Benjamin - he saw how cool Carlito is, he tried to be like him, and look what happened to him.
TODD: Of course, the current WWE Champion is John Cena and Carlito let's be honest, you've had some success against John Cena. We're looking at some footage right now where you beat John Cena to pick up the United States Championship way back in 2004.
CARLITO:That's right. Carlito has beaten Cena many times. Carlito has taken his title one time and he'll probably do it again. He's got Cena's number. He's got Cena on speed dial he's beaten him so many times.
TODD: Well, you've got a couple of other superstars in that chamber to deal with as well. Not only do you have the champion, but you have the heavy hitters in there like Kane. How does someone like yourself - obviously a much smaller wrestler - deal with a guy like the big red monster?
CARLITO:It's easy. He's (Carlito) got to be quick on his feet, run around a little more, make that big dumb goof exhausted and then I'll take out his leg and that's it.
TODD: Alright Carlito I hope you don't mind, I don't know if these people are cool or not, but we've got some viewers that would like to ask you some questions. Is that okay?
CARLITO:Bring on the questions... but they better not be stupid questions. That would make me very angry.
TODD: Carlito we have Chris calling from Toronto. Is Toronto cool?
CARLITO:Depends... When Carlito is there, it's cool. Once he leaves, it's not cool anymore.
CHRIS: Everybody in the chamber has their own unique advantage. Shawn Michaels has the ring experience, Kurt Angle has his gold medals, Kane has his size (, Masters has his lame-ness). What would you say is your advantage going in?
CARLITO:Carlito is cooler. Carlito is the coolest, and Carlito stays cool. People get all excited and scared about the chains or whatever. That don't work for Carlito. Carlito knows what he needs to do once he gets in there, and that's to take out the other five competitors. That will be nothing but easy for Carlito.
TODD: Cool under pressure, that's Carlito's advantage. Richard, you're calling from Hawaii?
RICHARD: Yes.
TODD: Carlito where are you.. you're from Puerto Rico right?
CARLITO:Yes, the Caribbean Islands.
TODD: Is there any rivalry there with Hawaii? Should we not take this call from Richard?
CARLITO:Let's take the call and see what he has to say.
RICHARD What would you say was the better show that you were on, SmackDown! or RAW? (I have $10.00 that he says something along the lines of "whichever one I was on at the time")
CARLITO:That's a good question and I'll tell you right now; whatever show Carlito is on is the coolest show. (pay up readers! ...all four of you) My favorite show before was SmackDown!, but now it's RAW. If I get traded back to SmackDown!, then SmackDown! will be my favorite again.
TODD: What about ByteThis!, where does it rank in your order here?
CARLITO:ByteThis! is at the bottom of the barrel. But right now it's pretty hot because Carlito is on it.
TODD:Mike from Georgia talk to Carlito.
MIKE: How did you feel (definitely 8 years old) when you won the Intercontinental Title your first night on RAW?
CARLITO:It felt good. Carlito knew when he came in that he was going to win the Intercontinental Championship. I've beaten Shelton Benjamin so many times, I beat him then, I could beat him now. Any day of the week I can beat Shelton Benjamin. I can beat anyone any day of the week. And especially on Sundays, I can beat John Cena.
TODD: Carlito you're getting a little slack in the chatroom because there were a series of "Beat the Clock" matches in which whoever won the match in the shortest amount of time would have been the last entrant in the Elimination Chamber... but you faced off against a *girl*, Victoria, and you weren't able to win the spot? What's going on?
CARLITO:Carlito took it a little easy on Victoria you know. If Carlito knew than Kane was going to take the Heart Throbs out in 28 seconds, then Carlito would have made much quicker work of Victoria. But, you know, it doesn't matter. He's the last one in, it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter if Carlito is first, second, third, or last; Carlito knows that he will win that title no matter where he comes in.
TODD: Carlito who are you most looking forward to facing in the Elimination Chamber? Obviously a superstar of your *caliber* enjoys good competition.
CARLITO:I think it's John Cena. People are tired of him (ahahahahaha). Carlito is tired of him. He's walking around with a title that belongs to Carlito, so I want to be the first one to get in there, get on top of him, and eliminate him.
TODD: We have a question here. How did you think up the spitting the apple in people's faces? How'd you come up with that, have you been doing that since you were a kid?
CARLITO:Carlito's been doing that for a long time. One day some old man, he disrespected Carlito, and he spat in his face. It was decided that from then on he would spit in the face of anyone who disrespected him... and of course whoever doesn't want to be cool.
TODD: We're looking at some footage of you spitting the apple on Victoria. Now Carlito, why would you do that? She's down, she's out, and she's a Diva for God sakes!
CARLITO:She's a Diva and whatever but she disrespected Carlito. That was no way to treat Carlito; trying to attack Carlito from behind. That's no way to treat Carlito and well, you saw what happened.
TODD: Carlito before we let you go we're going to play a quick game of Rapid Fire. I'll throw out a name, and the first thing that comes to your mind, shoot it back at us. Is that cool?
CARLITO:That's cool.
TODD: Chris Masters
CARLITO:Chris Masters is a big dumb goof.
TODD: Kurt Angle.
CARLITO:He's a big Olympic zero.
TODD: Kane.
CARLITO:Kane is the Big dumb Red Machine.
TODD: John Cena.
CARLITO:John Cena. A wannabe rapper. A wannabe wrestler, and a terrible champion.
TODD: H-B-K.
CARLITO:HBK, I like to call him H-B-Gay, because that's what he looks like when he does his stupid little dance.
TODD: I don't even know why they wrote this one down... Todd Grisham.
CARLITO:Todd Grisham. Well, everybody knows how I feel about you. If I had an apple, and I were in the studio, you know what would be happening to you right now.
TODD: Carlito, thank you for calling in, and being so gracious. Any parting words for our ByteThis! listeners?
CARLITO:To all Carlito fans, don't worry. Carlito is not leaving that chamber without the title.
TODD: Short and sweet. Alright, good luck to you on Sunday Carlito in the Elimination Chamber.
CARLITO:I don't need it but whatever.
***
They go to break and show a commercial the Divas Uncovered book. New Years Revolution promo focusing on the Big Show / HHH feud, and then another for the Elimination Chamber. Much like the break before Carlito, they show the promo that was airing before Chris Masters' debut.
***
We're back and Chad from Alabama is calling in to ask who Todd thinks will lose his title first, John Cena or Dave Batista. Todd thinks because of the odds in an Elimination Chamber, John Cena probably has the more immediate jeopardy of losing his belt.
Joe from Jersey is on the line, and Todd immediately asks how old he is. Joe is eight. Wonderful. Joe would like to know who Todd thinks will win between Edge and Ric Flair, (because when he was born, Ric Flair was only 73). Todd thinks it's 50 / 50. Joe thinks it's Ric Flair.
Live on the live now is the Masterpiece, Chris Master! [Masters, like Carlito, is always in character.] He begins by telling Todd that he just pointed out the most "stupidly obvious" thing when he said Masters has a better physique than Carlito, because come on, we'll all seen Carlito without his shirt on, and there is no comparison. He begins pimping himself (something you'll find a lot of throughout his interviews). The chatroom wants to know what he's going to do in the chamber, because men have come out with scars and things, and we all know how much Masters cares about his body. Masters says that he will sacrifice his body if necessary in order to fulfill his destiny of becoming the youngest WWE Champion in history (If that happens, I will never watch wrestling again... EVER). Todd moves on to the qualifying match he had against Viscera, and asks him to take us through it a little bit, and if he was concerned about facing a five hundred pound man. He was concerned a little about whether or not he could pick him up, but he was finally able to get the Masterlock applied. Todd asks if he's worried that someone will eventually break the Masterlock, to which Chris laughs. He's been applying it to "chumps" for a year now and nobody has even come close. He reminds us what he did to Kurt Angle on Monday, and says that because of him having a broken neck, the Masterlock could do serious damage to him if he could lock it in Sunday. Grish asks if he's targeting one person specifically on Sunday. Masters says he is taking it to everybody in the match, plain and simple.
Jamie from Calgary is on the phone. He wishes Todd a Happy Birthday, and Chris feels left out because his birthday is Sunday (what the Hell? Is everybody on the PLANET's birthday this week?). Todd mentions that Chris Master as champion would be a good birthday planet, and Jamie remarks that nobody wants to see that (ehehe). Jamie wants to know who has bigger arms, Masters or Hulk Hogan? He then plugs TNAwrestling.com. Chris doesn't think there is much of a comparison to be made there, as Hogan is really old, and Masters is really young.
Chatroom wants to know how often he works out, and what it takes to have a body like his. He jokes that he works out five times a day for three hours at a time.
Ben from Unknown was on the phone, but he hasn't learned to turn his computer down, so Todd cuts him off.
Charlie from Michigan (woooo!) is calling to ask Masters if he thinks he could beat Triple H in a match. He can't believe this questions. Do people honestly think Triple H has what it takes to stand in the ring with a younger, more talently gifted man like himself? He respects Triple H, but his career is winding down, while his is just blossoming.
***
They go to break, and show a video package of all the people he's defeated with the Masterlock.
***
We're back, and Todd wants to know if there is any superstar in particular that he was able to get the Masterlock on that made him realize ‘wow, that's how powerful this move is'. He says Viscera was actually pretty tough. It took him three or four tries, but he finally got it on the ‘big bastard'. Since he was unable to see the footage, he asks Todd if he looked sexy putting on those Masterlocks on.
TODD: You're a very attractive man... ? Are you hitting on me right now, or...?
MASTERS: No, I'm just curious.
After that akward moment, Todd asks about applying the hold to Shawn Michaels. He was certainly not surprised that Shawn Michaels found his way out of it, and to say the least, he was upset. Todd wishes him good luck and Happy Birthday. Masters does not want him to wish him luck. He doesn't need it.
Jason from Florida is on the line, and would like to know who Masters hates the most out of all the competitors in the Elimination Chamber. To be honest, he's sick and tired of seeing John Cena walking around with that title. Masters is here for the fans of WWE, and he's going to get that belt off of him.
Todd doesn't wish him luck, thanks him for being on, and ends the call.
**Notable Chris Masters' Quotes:**
"Carlito looks like a 14 year old boy going through puberty."
"I personify perfection, whether it's my body, my hair, my face; everything."
"(on permanent damage from the chamber) That's the risk I'm willing to take to win the Elimination Chamber."
"(on Viscera) The guy looks like a beached whale."
"(on the Masterlock) Grisham, Grisham, Grisham. You are still asking me the same questions that you were asking me six-seven months ago. It doesn't matter who it is. It could be Kane. It could be John Cena. It could be Kurt Angle. Nobody will break it."
"(on the EC) It doesn't matter who it is. All that matters is that I walk out of that thing with the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship."
"(on Jamie's question) Are you really trying to compare me to the 110 year old Hulk Hogan?"
"(on Triple H) He had a great run. He headlined WrestleMania after WrestleMania. He said he wants to go to this WrestleMania, but his time is winding down."
"I don't even look at guys like Triple H. He's on his way out. I'm on my way up."
"(on Shawn Michaels) He's a wily veteran. he's been around for quite some time, and I knew he was going to find a way around the Masterlock."
"(on John Cena) I think it's time somebody takes his ass down. I think everybody is begging for it." (we are Chris, just not by you)
***
They go to break and show a commercial for John Cena's CD, The Champ is Here. This was followed by a commercial for the new Eddie Guerrero book, Cheating Death, Stealing Life. FYI, all proceeds from the book, much like the T-Shirt, will go to the Guerrero family. They show a video package for last years New Years Revolution Elimination Chamber match.
**
We're back and we're giving away some DVDs, which means it's Trivia Time! "Who won the Elimination Chamber Match at Survivor Series 2002" (I believe that was Shawn Michaels). Todd runs down the card for NYR:
Triple H vs. Big Show
Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James - Women's Championship
Gregory Helms vs. Jerry The King Lawler
Ric Flair vs. Edge - Intercontinental Championship
Maria vs. Ashley vs. Victoria vs. Torrie Wilson vs. Candace Michelle - Bra and Panties Gauntlet Match
John Cena vs. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Kane vs. Carlito vs. Chris Masters - Elimination Chamber for the WWE Championship
Brandon from Ohio knows the trivia answer. Shawn Michaels. Damn I'm good. Brandon is correct! Brandon will take the "Divas: South of the Border" DVD (good choice, Brandon).
Peter from Unknown has been on hold for 37 minutes, and he did so just so he could ask Todd a question he's already answered twice. Nice. Who does Todd think will win the Elimination Chamber? Kane or Kurt Angle. Peter thinks Chris Masters might pull the upset, and that while Carlito is cool, he isn't cool enough to win the title.
Craig from Massachussetts would like to know what match Todd would most like to see at WrestleMania 22. Todd believes that a great match-up between HHH vs. John Cena, vs. Bobbly Lashley, or vs. Batista.
Todd doesn't know who next week's guest is, but he's going to be given a hint. Cue the microphone coming down from the ceiling. So next week folks it will be Kennedy! Todd does a pretty good Kennedy impression actually. Wait! He's on the line!
KENNEDY: I cannot believe what I just heard!
TODD: It's you!
KENNEDY: Did my ears just deceive me?
TODD: I was just having a little f-
KENNEDY: Todd Grisham, did I just hear you correctly? Did you just *attempt* to do a horrible, horrible impersonation of *muah*?
TODD: Yes, I apologize. I didn't know you were going to be on the ph-
KENNEDY: That is the wrong, wrong fricken answer, man. Wrong answer. You know Todd Grisham that is not how you do it. Let me tell you, show you, *demonstrate* for you how it's done. Are you ready?
TODD: Yes, sir.
KENNEDY: I am none other than MISTAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH KENNEDDAAY...........KENNEDDAAY. You know what Todd Grisham?
TODD: What?
KENNEDY: I've been sitting at home, trying to heal up my injuries, and I've been listening to you, and I watch your little radio, your little internet show every single week; and you know what? You do a pretty good job, man.
TODD: Well, thank you.
KENNEDY: You do a pretty good job. But you know, there is always a little room for improvement. So I figured next week, you're going to get to see live - in person, in living fricken color - muah, live in Stamford, Connecticut, co-hosting with you Todd Grisham.
TODD: Wow.
KENNEDY: What do you think about that?
TODD: I'm excited, that's exciting stuff.
KENNEDY: It is exciting stuff. You know what, I don't feel like talking to you anymore. I got things to do. I look forward to meeting with you next week; maybe give you a few pointers, help you out a little bit. You're doing a good job, man.
TODD: Thank you. Mr. Kennedy real quick, I know you're on SmackDown! and you gotta run, can we get your pick for the Elimination Chamber Sunday? Who's gonna win this thing. You're the expert, give us some insight.
KENNEDY: They're all great competitors, but Shawn Michaels is one of my all-time faves, and I'm going to have to go with him. And you know what Todd, as always, the pleasure... was all yours. Ta-fricken-ta.
***
Todd pimps last weeks First Blood Match between Kurt Angle and John Cena, and they show a "RAW Rebound" clip of said match, and the ending to RAW.
Todd pimps the Steel Cage match for the Tag Team Championship on SmackDown!, a match between JBL and Matt Hardy, and another in the best of 7 series.
Bob from Unknown has called in to say that he loves how Todd dodges TNA questions in the same fashion that he dodges women. Silly Bob, Todd doesn't dodge women, they dodge him.
Logan from Unknown wants to know if Booker will be back for match 6 or 7. At this point Randy is set to go Friday, but Booker may be back if it goes to 7.
Todd gives some shot outs from the chatroom, pimps New Years Revolution, thanks everyone for watching him instead of the Rose Bowl, and ends the show.
THE FINISHER
Carlito once again proves that he's damn good on the microphone. But we already know that, creative team. Here's an idea: Put him in more than six matches a year. At any rate, I enjoyed the segment, Carlito was funny as usual, and I have a feeling Carlito is going to surprise some people come Sunday. Not with a win, just with his performance.
Masters is... well, Masters. I don't hate him as much as I did when he first debuted, but I don't like him much either. He's just kind of ...there. What he needs to do is start giving his promos via phone, because when he's not in front of 20,000 people with a microphone in his hand, he's actually not that bad of a speaker. Oh well, here's to hoping he gets fucked up six-ways-from-Sunday at New Years Revolution.
Kennedy continues to impress me. It's like the guy was born with a mic in his hand. I am REALLY looking forward to next week's edition, where he'll be co-hosting.
Before we go I also wanted to clear something up. Some of the feedback I received on the John Cena article leads me to believe I may have given a few people the wrong impression. I am not some big John Cena fan. In fact, I could list a plethera of people who I'd rather see. Nor was I saying that John Cena is in no way to blame for the current situation. The point I was trying to convey was that John Cena is not 100% of the problem, but he is bearing 100% of the wrath. It was that which I had issues. Hope that helps.
Have a good one folks, and remember... always mark for Christian Cage.
PROMOS
Cook really likes pissing Ashish off, so he spent the end of his column pissing all over Texas football. Personally, I thought they were completely uncalled for and I'm appauled that he would cross such lines.
Larry and Geoff have 3 R's. I especially like Geoff's part. Go read it, I'm sure you'll see why.
Randle has apparently grown tired of my free-spirited antics. I write that Randy Orton should be put in a box and shipped to an island nobody knows about, and he's worried about one little f word being thrown his way... priorities, Stephen. Priorities.
JP continues to bring up the Boogeyman, thinks I cuss too much, and defends New Jack. I'm keeping my mouth shut on the vote, because apparently my thoughts sway the voting yet at the same time have to direct affect on them whatsoever... or something.
