411’s WWE Velocity Report 1.07.06

Posted by Scott Fried on 01.08.2006

And then there were two Mexicools.

Welcome to another edition of Velocity! Before we start, let's take a look at Paul Muir's Velocity rankings:

1 1 = Kash 4
1 2 ^ Dean 4
3 2 v Sylvain 3
3 2 v Kendrick 3
3 2 v London 3
6 6 = Holly 2
6 6 = C Dick 2
6 6 = J Dick 2
6 6 = Jordan 2
6 13 ^ Animal 2
6 13 ^ Heidenreich 2
6 13 ^ Noble 2
13 6 v Juventud 1
13 6 v Mercury 1
13 6 v Nitro 1
13 13 = Super Crazy 1
13 13 = Psychosis 1
13 13 = Christian 1
13 13 = Lashley 1
13 13 = Hardy 1
13 13 = Regal 1
13 13 = Basham 1
13 24 ^ Burchill 1

Kash and Dean hold onto number one, though if Kash sticks on Smackdown it'll be all about the Dean, baby.

The Dicks versus Scotty Charisma and Fred Sampson

The Dicks waste the opening seconds getting to their corner. Sampson and Chad start off, with Chad Dick getting a waistlock and a few slams. Tag to James, who kicks Sampson, whips him, and takes a kick. Scotty gets tagged in, but James hits a dropkick and tags Chad. Double short clothesline gets two. Tag to James who gets a suplex and an elbow drop for two. Tag to James, who kicks Charisma. Chad is the shorter Dick, according to Josh Mathews. James works a headlock, then slugs Sampson. The referee goes after Sampson as he tries to enter, allowing a double team. Tag to Sampson, and the Dicks get a double dropkick, double pancake, and double slam for two. Another double slam, and one for Charisma. The Dicks hit the Fireman's Pancake on Sampson, then finish with the Dick Sentence.

Winners: The Dicks
Match Time: 4:09
Rating: **1/2
Commentary: Decent tag work by both teams, with the Dicks looking a bit more impressive than usual.

Scotty 2 Hotty versus Jamie Noble

Let me begin my saying how glad I am that they gave Noble his old music back. Circling, then a lockup to start. Noble sweeps Scotty down and covers, getting one. Trash talk by Noble. Lockup, and Noble gets a hammerlock into a snapmare. Noble gets a knee, then clubs Scotty down. Scotty reverses a whip and gets a hiptoss, then another and a scoop slam. Noble reverses a whip and tries to throw Scotty out, but he holds onto the rope and comes back in. He gets punches, but Noble hits a head slam and throws Scotty to the post shoulder-first. Noble grabs the arm and works it over, twisting it around the top rope, then getting a dropkick for good measure. Noble rolls with the arm into a cover for two. Noble legdrops the arm, but Scotty gets an Inverted Atomic Drop. Noble gets a leg lariat for two, then drives his knee into Scotty's back before going back to the arm. He puts on a reverse chicken wing, but Scotty pushes him off. Noble comes back with a shoulder. Scotty dodges an elbow, but Noble comes back with a Northern Lights Suplex for one. Noble applies an armbar, then gets a stomp. Scotty goes to the apron, but Noble can't suplex him back in. Scotty shoves him down, then flips in and gets a flying forearm. Clothesline, back elbow, superkick gets blocked, but Scotty hits another for two. Rollup by Scotty gets two. Scotty kicks a corner charge and goes for the worm bulldog, but Noble catches him with the double knee gutbuster. Noble applies a combination Dragon Sleeper/armlock, and that gets the tapout.

Winner: Jamie Noble
Match Time: 7:10
Rating: ***
Commentary: A good match, with Noble getting to show his stuff but still making it more than just an exhibition.

Bobby Lashley versus Havoc

Lockup, and Lashley shoves Havoc down. Another lockup, same result. Lashley slams him to the buckle, then whips him to the opposite corner. Havoc dodges a charge and hits a punch or two, but Lashley knocks him down and drives him to the corner. Shoulder rams, and Lashley beals him out of the corner. Clothesline, Belly to Belly, Dominator finishes.

Winner: Bobby Lashley
Match Time: 1:53
Rating: *3/4
Commentary: As squashes go, this was pretty good. Effective, too, as Lashley barely took any offense.

On Smackdown, the Batista-Mark Henry feud escalated. You know how sometimes I put jokes after my comments? Not this time.

The Mexicools versus Vito and Nunzio

Vito and Psychosis start off with a lockup, and Vito gets a headlock. Psychosis shoves him off, but Vito comes back with a shoulder. Criss-Cross, and Psychosis gets a hiptoss, followed by an armdrag. He tags Super Crazy, who comes in with a double axe handle to the arm. Tag to Nunzio, and Crazy takes him down. Double hiptoss slam into a moonsault/legdrop by the Mexicools gets two. Tag to Vito, who sneak attacks Super Crazy he gets punches, a slam, and a Vader Bomb for two. Tag to Nunzio, who gets a spinning neckbreaker for two. Slam, and Nunzio hits a knee drop. Nunzio applies a headlock. Crazy gets up, but Nunzio slugs him down and tags Vito. Super Crazy falls on top out of a slam for two. Vito goes nuts on him, punching and choking. Slam by Vito, then a dancing legdrop for two. Tag to Nunzio, who hits a low dropkick for two. Nunzio gets a chinlock, but Super Crazy punches his way out. Double team attempt by the FBI, but Crazy fights both guys off. Tag to Psychosis, who gets spinning heel kicks, backdrops, elbows, and what have you. They pancake Nunzio for two. Vito throws Crazy out, but he gets back in. Vito gets tossed out, but Crazy takes him out with a pescado. In the ring, Psychosis reverses a tilt-a-whirl into a cradle for the win.

Winners: The Mexicools
Match Time: 6:02
Rating: ***
Commentary: Not the best match I've seen between these four guys, but still quite good. It's a shame they aren't on SD! more often.