411’s TNA Impact Report 04.01.06
Posted by Larry Csonka on 04.01.2006
AMW defends the tag titles, Cage’s wife is stalked and Sting returns to the Impact Zone!
Last week on Impact:
Mike Tenay is in the ring to kick off the show. He hypes Lockdown, and the all steel cage concept. He introduces Samoa Joe so that we can find out who his PPV opponent is.
Joe makes his way to the ring, with that, "I'm gonna kill a bitch" look in his eyes. Tenay says that Last week Larry Z informed him that he was stepping out of the X Division and that he will be stepping into the Six Sides of Steel/ Joe says that he is one of the very best in the world, and his actions speak louder than his words. He asks, "Who's head do I have to kick in to get what I want?" Tenay preps a video package and the opponent is…SABU~! Joe is pissed as we go backstage.
JB is with Team 3D in the back. Ray tells Team Canada that they have been a thorn in their side, the fans side and in the United States side. In just a little while they step into a cage with the most hardcore and extreme tag team ever. They come face to face with Ray and Devon but more importantly, your face will come face to face with the steel. OH MY BRUTHA…TESTIFY!
Match #1 Sonjay Dutt, Chris Sabin & Jay Lethal defeated The Diamonds in the Rough (Simon Diamond, Elix Skipper & David Young)
In the back with Team Canada. D'Amore isn't happy. He says Larry Z set this up and says he could have booked anyone for this match but he picked on Team Canada. It's personal between them, and his well-educated Canadians fine. Larry Z is there and he says it is all about ratings. D'Amore disagrees and says fine, they'll draw the ratings. They will be men of respect and get the job done. After the match, they have some unfinished business to del with.
Referee Slick Johnson is there and he says he wants to ref. Larry says Senior Ref Rudy Charles will be the ref. Larry doesn't need his help and calls him Chrome dome. He tells Larry he's getting thin up top.
We are back with the Sting interview. Final Resolution was a perfect night because he got to end things the way he wanted to. He didn't want to wreck that. JJ ruined it by stalking his family, so he had to come back at Destination X. JJ crossed the line and they felt violated. He was on a mission to get back at JJ and he did. He got one-upped. He needs to help TNA cut the cancer, and he has to start with JJ. He has asked to be reinstated, and he was granted that. As he licked his wounds he started to remember times past, when he wanted revenge he went to war games. No place to run, no place to hide. If I have my way I'll have a roof on that so JJ can't escape. I also want weapons to be hanging from the ceiling. JJ must take this match or he will have to walk away. Get your army, because I'll get mine. Give JJ a message, Steve Borden isn't coming, Sting is.
Tenay and Borash talk about what Sting had to say. Scott Steiner's music hits and it is time for the next match. JJ and Steiner come in casual attire to the ring. The Naturals make their way to the ring. Gail Kim is so hot.
Match #2 No Match: JJ and Steiner hit the ring and start to destroy the Naturals, this isn't the scheduled match. I DEMAND THAT FINES AND SUSPENSIONS FOLLOW! Stevens is tossed to the floor and Steiner press slams Douglas out. Steiner lays Douglas against the post and CRUSHES him with the chair shot! He then nails him repeatedly as he lies helpless on the floor. He locks in the recliner and JJ talks trash as they head to a commercial.
Back from commercial and Andy Douglas is being carted off by EMT's. We get a replay of what happened to him before the break. Tenay says they will try to give us an update as soon as possible.
JB in the back with Konnan and Homicide. They discuss laying out Machete. He didn't produce so he got kicked out. Konnan says he didn't run from Bob and The James Gang and Bob are here. LAX leaves and Bob says back in the old days in the Marines they settled things with an arm wrestling match. He wants to get a hold of Konnan, if he has the balls. BG says that's mid-evil manhood.
Match #3 Six Sides of Steel: Team 3D defeated Team Canada (Young and Roode)
We now get the video by Shelley with Mitchell about Christian's wife. They show her cleaning and Shelley says not to worry, he's done this before. When Abyss is done with Christian, she'll be feeding him through a straw. They then follow her as she goes to the store and tanning salon. Mitchell confronts her and asks if it is odd that Christian left her alone. Mitchell is so damn creepy here. He says to tell Cage that he will see him soon. To be continued…
And in our main event: For a Shot at the X Title: Alex Shelley vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Samoa Joe vs. Chris Sabin
TNA iMpact Starts…NOW!
D'Amore, Young and Roode are all in the ring singing the Canadian National anthem. Team 3D are out and attack! D'Amore bails and we have a BRAWL~! Into the crowd goes Ray and Roode as Devon tosses Young into the post. Devon chokes out Young and Ray rams Roode into a chair. Young into the steps now. Devon and Young into the ring, Roode and Ray as well. The fans want tables and they give Roode the reverse 3D. Wazzup head butt to Young. DEVON…GET THE TABLES! They set the table up and D'Amore goes and yells at Tenay. Petey and A1 are out now! They clear the ring a bit and try to get D'Amore but the numbers game is way too much. Young gets a moonsault to Ray as the rest beat Devon down. Northern lariat to Devon. They lay him on the table and Young goes up top…ELBOW DROP through the table! They lay the Canadian flag over Ray as Devon keeps getting beat down.
D'Amore says they stand here Canadians and you can chant USA all you want, but they buried two of your own. You all sit by and watch and I have no respect for you…I have no respect for your country. This would be the perfect time to bring in Spike.
Tenay and West welcome us to iMpact! They hype the card and Sting's return as well as the X 4-way. Jarrett will announce his team for Lethal Lockdown.
JB is with Team Jarrett. He knows Sting will be here and he knows Sting is dictating to TNA management. He may get to do that, but they will dictate to him. AMW, Steiner and JJ will be his team. Sting, the games are over and before the night is over, we will become face to face. Steiner says the longer he waits for a contract, the more people get hurt.
We are back from commercial with highlights of the TNA Detroit House Show.
BG on the mic and does his shtick. "We're about to climb Brokeback Mountain to get them…so bring out our belts…bitches!" Gail pours beer on Jackie, and Storm gets pissed because that is alcohol abuse.
Harris and Kip to begin. Lock up and clubbing shots by Harris. Off the ropes and Kip with a drop toehold. Off the ropes and Kip gets the corner splash. Tag to BG and they get a double corner splash and AMW falls into a nice gay position. BG and Storm in, BG is tripped by Gail and Storm takes BG down and gets some control. They get the old leap frog/top rope choke combo. Harris tries to take him doen, juke and jive by BG but Harris levels him with a lariat. Jackie trips Harris now and Kip tags in and is on fire. Tilt a whirl to Storm. Kip takes a hard left as BG is sent into the rail. FAMEASSER by Kip. Gail and Jackie argue out side, Storm has the beer bottle, ref stops it and Konnan is out with the slapjack and kills Kip. Storm covers and that's all.
Winners: AMW @ 3:15 via pin
Bullet Bob is out to check on his boys.
Wasn't bad, but then again it wasn't long enough to get really bad. Also, why did the James Gang get a title shot? At least say that since they kept winning that they became #1 contenders..
We are back from commercial and get a video about the 6-Sides of Steel.
We get some video history about Abyss vs. Cage. Abyss and Mitchell come to the ring. Next week on Impact Abyss will face AJ Styles. JB is in the ring and he asks Mitchell after last week, what do you have to say? MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Cage, you claim that your dream was to hold that NWA title…yet once you achieved it you ran off to make movies and away from Abyss. You took a vow to love, honor and protect your wife, yet you left her alone…and that was a mistake. We would do whatever it took and you didn't take us seriously. Does this look like a man that makes jokes? Does this look like the face of a liar? We are deadly serious. Last week should have taught you a lesson, so since you will not answer us, we will further you public humiliation.
This goes into part 2 of "Desperately Alone Housewife." They approach the Cage house. The garage opens and Christian sees them. He attacks Shelley and tells him to stay away as Abyss and Mitchell attack! YES! ARRRRRRR! Mitchell goes into the house to see his wife as Abyss drags him through the house kicking his ass. Cage hits him with a giant water bottle, but Abyss beats him more as Mitchell yells at him and asks where are his peeps now? Abyss tosses Cage into the pool and follows and tries to drown him. Mitchell finally tells him to stop because you cannot win the belt from a dead man. RAAAAAAAAAAR! Mitchell grabs Cage and says he warned him. He asks him what is he prepared to do?
Tenay yells at Mitchell as Mitchell puts hat they did over. Mitchell says it will only get worse if they don't get what they want. Don West washes his hands of the situation and leaves.
We are back from commercial as we see a promo for Sabu.
For a Shot at the X Title: Alex Shelley vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Samoa Joe vs. Chris Sabin
Dutt and Alex to begin. Headlock and a shoulder block by Dutt. Reversals and an arm drag by Dutt. Daniel sis on Commentary now and Dutt is in control. NUT CLAW by Alex, he tries to tag Joe and Joe tags. Sabin in and takes Joe down. Arm drags and a forearm smash. Missile dropkick by Sabin to Joe. He covers and gets 2. Tag to Dutt, sling shot RANA to Joe and we head to a commercial @ 1:50.
Back @ 6:00 as Joe whoops on Dutt. Alex tags in and Joe nails him allowing Dutt to get a roll up for 2. Alex gets a cover for 2. Face rake by Alex, but Dutt recovers and gets a basement dropkick. Sabin blind tags in and gets a running kick to Alex. Cover for 2. Alex fights back and gets a face rake, takedown and cover for 2. Irish whip by Alex, spin kick by Sabin and Alex misses a charge and Dutt flies in with a missile dropkick. Joe tosses Alex and Sabin. Catches Dutt on a RANA…MUSCLE BUSTA! 1…2…3.
Winner: Samoa Joe @ 8:35 via pin
Joe and Daniels brawl now! Security is out to try and break them up. Daniel is pissed and gets in the ring and calls Joe on! They hold Joe back and they will
We lost half of it from commercial, which blew. Solid match from what we saw, a lot of fun but with them having only two matches to night, I think that they could have worked the commercial break better.
Backstage with JJ. Team JJ is walking and they are calling Sting out.
We are back from commercial with a video recap of Sting's interview from last week.
Team JJ comes to the ring now. Sting, I am tired of waiting, AMW and Steiner are all tired of waiting. We are ready for battle, we don't have to wait. Sting, the mind games are over.
LIGHTS OUT!
Rhino and James Gang are in the arena and they saw the games have just begun. Ina different part Killings, Stevens, Smiley and Sharky are there. Killings says they have had enough. WHAT'S UP! JJ says this is not about a concert, but he knows Steiner will kick his ass. AJ, Lethal, Sabin and Dutt are on top of the set now and say the war is about to begin!
LIGHTS OUT AGAIN!
STING IS HERE! ASS KICKING TIME! Alex and Team Canada ware here, Sting fights them off and grabs JJ. Steiner attacks and they all gang attack him and he has the bat and fights them off. Wait, FACES OF THE WROLD UNITE! They hit the ring and clear it and the faces stand tall!
Final Impact Thoughts: While it lacked as far as the in ring action, they did another great job of story telling and building to the PPV; and that's what they need to do. Have a solid build and try to build as much intrigue as possible.
