The Final Fantasy Heat Report: 04.16.06
Posted by Jeff Small on 04.16.2006
Cade and Murdoch: Together Again!!!
Well hello everyone and welcome back to the #1 Heat report here at 411Mania, the Final Fantasy Heat Report. I must warn you in advance that this edition of Heat is quite AWFUL!!! Putrid, really. In fact, it sucks so bad, I wish to be done with this report as soon as possible. So if tonight's report seems extra short, it's for a good cause.
I just want to remind everyone to vote Small in the Loser Leaves Heat feud. Slimmer, I hope your report this week is good because you are down to your two weeks notice. Remember to vote in this week's Sunday Small-For-All News Report
I know I promised all you loyal readers a breakdown of the Heat Season 6 in WWE Fantasy for this week. However, because there is a Supershow this coming week in Louisville, there will be no Heat matches for next week. Next week's column will delve into great detail the winner of Season 6. The result might shock you…
Taped from Raw, it's Online Heat!!!
Your announcers this evening are Todd Grisham and the Coach
Match 1: Trevor Murdoch vs. Snitsky
Match Background: This is the first-ever match up between these two men. Considering that both men are not known for their performance in the ring, let's see if there is enough comedy to make this match worthwhile. This is Snitsky's first singles match since turning face last week.
Snitsky actually gets a surprising face pop on the way to the ring. I guess it helps that Murdoch made his way to the ring first as a heel. Anyway, they lockup to start. Each man breaks the hold and they lockup again. Snitsky pushes Trevor into the corner and feels him up. Trevor with a right hand to Snitsky's face. Snitsky no-sells the punch and slugs him back. Trevor bails. Snitsky plays to the crowd allowing Trevor to sneak up behind him. Snitsky catches Trevor in time and applies a bearhug. Trevor elbows out of the hold and pounds Snitsky down into the corner. He rams Snitsky's head into the turnbuckle. An elbow smash to the head gets 1. He forearms Snitsky's chest and then bulldogs Snitsky for 2. Snitsky catches Trevor's stomp attempt and uses the power of the foot to fight back. He gets an atomic drop. Clothesline by Snitsky. Back body drop follows as Snitsky calls on the fans for some support. Trevor escapes a big boot attempt and rakes Snitsky's eyes. He bails to the apron and neck snaps Snitsky into the top rope. He rolls up Snitsky with his feet on the middle rope for 3 @ 3:04. Horrible match.
Winner: Trevor Murdoch
Loser: Snitsky
Match 2: Eugene vs. Matt Longtime
Match Background: Just a squash for the dying Eugene character.
Eugene hugs a lady at ringside during his entrance. Longtime is a generic 6'3" hoss so expect him to sign a contract with the WWE soon. Eugene hugs the ref before the match. He offers Longtime a handshake which Longtime rejects. Eugene asks for a test of strength but winds up dancing. A second attempt at a test of strength is won by Eugene. 3 arm wenches and an arm drag follows for Eugene. He gets behind Longtime and spins him around in a pinning attempt for 2. He crawls under a Longtime big boot and hides in a ball. Longtime's elbow drop attempt misses and Eugene rides Longtime for a bit. He taunts before biting Longtime's ass.
Longtime tells Eugene his boot is untied which distracts Eugene long enough to receive a kick to the head. Longtime smashes Eugene's shoulder into the turnbuckle and gets a single arm DDT for 2. Longtime knees the shoulder and applies an armbar. Eugene fights out but is thrown into the turnbuckle. Unfortunately for Longtime, this leads to Eugene tardin' up. He slugs Longtime with some rights before executing an airplane spin. Stunner ends this match @ 4:16.
Winner: Eugene
Loser: Matt "Me Love You" Longtime
Backlash promo follows.
Match 3: Viscera vs. Adrian Lynch
Match Background: I know it is Easter, but I do not need this much squash.
Viscera makes his way out to a huge pop. Viscera pushes Lynch away to start. Lynch tries an armbar but Vis clotheslines him down. Lynch gets a quick knee to the gut. However, this is no-sold by Vis. Vis places Lynch on the top rope and spanks him for a bit. Lynch jumps at Vis but is belly to belly suplexed. Vis chops Lynch down in the corner. Vis places his jobber in a tree of woe before running at him with a butt splash. Vis follows that running attack with a Ho Train in the same corner. Lynch rakes at Vis's eyes but runs into a Boss Man Slam. Visagra follows and the VD ends the match @ 2:41.
Winner: Viscera
Loser: Adrian Lynch
In this month's Raw magazine, there is an in-depth interview with Edge and Lita.
Highlights from this past Raw focuses on the handicap match between the three participants in the Triple Threat Match for the WWE Title at Backlash.
Match 4: Goldust vs. Lance Cade
Match Description: Cade and Goldust previously met on February 12th in a decent match that Goldust won. Considering it looks as if Cade and Murdoch will reunite as a tag team against Snitsky and Goldust, I would not be surprised to see Cade get the win.
Cade's got spiffy new trunks instead of his Jeff Jarrett wear. There's a faint "Goldust" chant to start. They lockup in the corner and Goldust punks Cade. Cade shouldertackles Goldust and stomps on him. A Cade whip is reversed and Goldust gets a butt bump. Back body drop follows for the Prince of Perv and he spanks Cade before clotheslining him over the top rope. A baseball slide misses allowing Cade to spear Goldust into the barricade.
In the ring, Cade mounts and punches Goldust. Stomps in the corner follow. He whips Goldust into a back elbow for 2. Chinlock. A "Let's Go Goldust" chant starts which is surprising considering how boring this match is. Goldust powers out and gets a backslide for 2. He punches away at Cade before hitting a running neckdrop. Goldust gets his obligatory throat thrust and atomic drop. He hits two more clotheslines before he hits 10 punches in the corner. He sets Cade up for shattered dreams while Trevor Murdoch strolls down to the ring. Murdoch distracts Goldust allowing Cade to roll him up for 3 @ 5:39. Awful, just plain awful.
Winner: Lance Cade
Loser: Goldust
Well kids, I am glad that this report is over. You know something, maybe I should purposely lose the Small/Slimmer vote. It would save me some sanity. With that said, have a good week and I will see you all here next week where we crown the winner of Fantasy Season 6!!!
