411’s Hogan Knows Best Report 5.07.06
Posted by Larry Csonka on 05.07.2006
The Hulk-a-Mania Shopping Network!
Let's meet the Hogan Family!
Father: Hulk
Mother: Linda
Daughter: Brooke
Son: Nick
Friend, babysitter and comedy relief: Brian Knobs
Special Guest Stars: Eric Bishoff and Jason Hervey
This week on Hogan Knows Best: After the family gets afraid for Hulk's life after the HBK match, Hulk gets into infomercials!
We begin the week at the Hogan estate. Hulk goes to get a medical massage for his ailing body. His ankle is jacked up, and he is preparing for the Summerslam match with HBK. He wants to do the match to help support the family more. The doctor says he needs to stay of fit for a while and heal up.
Hulk tells us about his career, we see a bunch of highlights as he talks about his various injuries, including the left knee replacement, his hi replacement, and his torn back from slamming Andre. He also has no side vision.
Hulk is chilling outside and he feels old. He wants to get some laser stuff done to remove the wrinkles so he looks better. Linda agrees he looks old and makes the appointment. She tells him to get out of the sun. Good advice.
He arrives and talks about his image being everything. He gets lazered and 2-days later he and Nick are in DC for Summerslam. Hulks plan is to make money and not get hurt. Nick says that's always the plan. They drive and arrive at the building.
He now discusses how hard it is to get mentally prepared for the match as he gears up. Back in the day it was much easier. We see the entrance as Brooke and Linda watch from home. Clips of the match are shown, and when he gets busted open Linda and Brooke look on concerned and Brooke has to leave the room.
After the match Brooke is happy that he is ok, but he is destroying himself. Linda agrees.
We see Hulk getting some medical attention and he wants a beer. He tells the doctor all he needs is a band-aid and some Neosporin and he'll be ok. He says his back is bothering him and will go to LA to get it looked at. He doesn't know how much more he can take.
In LA he goes to the DR and will have to have injections in his back, he's had it done 9-previous times. They explain the deal and he gets some big ass needles put in his back. He tells them he's about the end of the road in wrestling. He doesn't want to keep putting drugs in his body to keep going.
Back from commercial and Hulk goes to the Orthopedic guy. He is getting the ankle looked at again. He has a bad sprain, and they give him a boot to wear. The DR tells him he has to cool it. Hulk says he agrees and has numbness in his hands from his neck as well.
He has been told for 10-years that he needs to calm down. He has proved them wrong, and then takes the brace off.
Back at home Linda asks about the foot and he says it is better than expected. Nick and Brooke tell him he needs to stop before he becomes a cripple. He says he can cover more ground in a wheel chair than Nick can running. Linda doesn't want him to get worse. He says it is so hard to think about not wrestling at least once and a while. Linda understands, but he has to be around for the kids.
Dr. Hughes calls and Hulk says the ankle is good and he's allowed to train. The DR tells him to take it easy. Hulk says he will be a wrestler the day he dies. Linda says she won't push his wheel chair.
We now see Hulk working out, and Linda doesn't want him to train so hard because he's limping. She says he needs to make money outside of wrestling as she wears a weird short wig, but looks good. They talk and he has something to show her. He shows the "Hulk Hogan Thunder mixer." Apparently HE could have had the Foreman grill, but missed the phone call. HAHAHA! George made $450-million while his mixer only made a couple hundred thousand and he got boned! GLORIOUS! Linda says he should make TV dinners or some shit. He swears he'll call his agent to find something to do,
Back from commercial and Hulk called his agent and this week he has a commercial. He is doing the voice over for the Arby's commercial he did.
Then we see ERIC BISHOFF and JASON HERVEY showing up! Eric says he knows what Hulk's plan is and they pitch the Hulk Hogan Energy Drink. They have some artwork, and he kind of approves and picks a jacked up looking Hulk. He wants to try it first, and Hervey says, "We can get you some product." Hulk says if it tastes good, he's in. Hervey then tells him missy Hyatte stories.
The next day a truck pulls up with about 5,000 cans of the drink. Linda worries where they will keep it and they guys spill an entire pallet of it. Hulk tries the drink, belches and he likes it.
Rick shows up with the "Hulk Hogan Ultimate Grill" and they check it out. Hogan knows grilling! Nick approves and Linda likes it as well.
Two weeks later we have a camera crew set up the house for the commercial shoot. INFOMERCIAL! We see Hulk and Linda shilling the product, and Nick makes fun of them. Linda likes this lifestyle much better and hopes it can replace wrestling. We then see the whole family doing the shoot, "The Hogan's know grilling…BROTHER!" Linda wants to sell other stuff and Hulk suggests the kids. Oh that crazy Hulk.
Show ends.
The 411: Cool episode. It was really interesting seeing Hulk having to go through the whole medical deal to wrestle one match, and then try to move on to "real life." Thumbs up episode.
