411's WWE Heat Report 05.07.06
Posted by Scott Slimmer on 05.07.2006
Todd Grisham is going solo tonight. But enough about his sex life…
Hey guys and gals, I'm Scott, and this is 411's WWE Heat Report.
It is an absolutely GORGEOUS day here in scenic Champaign, Illinois, but for some reason I'm inside writing about wrestling. Hey, I do it for my loyal readers. My Heat Peeps. My Heat Kliq. My Heataholics. Speaking of my Heataholics, last week's little Csonka-induced diatribe produced a veritable FLOOD of feedback. We'll start with an email from Hugo Janado in Portugal:
Hey Scott
I just finished reading your Heat Report column. Your thoughts about the importance of your work made me write this e-mail, to show you that from the other side of the ocean people are reading it and enjoying it as well. I'm from Portugal, and since you started writing the heat report i haven't missed one.
The way you do is inovative, it's cool to know if the match is worth our time without knowning the outcome of it.
Keep up the good work :)
and now, in portuguese:
Adeus, granda abraço e boa sorte rapaz :D
Joe Romero followed up with a "thank you" of his own:
Thanks... that'll be five thank yous after six months.
Since the bastards at WWE and SKY stopped me being able to watch Heat over the internet, I now read Small's and your column to catch up on what's going on. In fact, after reading some of your recent reports, I'm starting to think that not being able to watch it might be a blessing…
Personally, I used to prefer watching Velocity, since their is only so many times I can watch Vis, Snitsky or Murdoch in the "Main Event" spot. How you guys can watch that show week after week and still be able to write an upbeat and detailed review is beyond me.
Kind regards,
Joe Romero...
I'd like to thank both Hugo and Joe for their extremely kind words. I guess I can no longer say that being a Heat Reporter is a thankless job, and I'd also like to make sure that being a reader of my Heat Reports is not a thankless job. So thank you to everybody who takes the time to read my report each week. It really does mean alot to me.
We'll finish up with an email from Adam Nelson concerning the mystery commentator from last week's "This Week in Wrestling History:"
I just watched Heat, and I'm pretty sure the guy on commentary during the "This Week In Wrestling History" segment was Jim Cornette. Not 100% sure, though.
There was a minute when I thought that the mystery commentator sounded a bit like Jim Cornette, but then I couldn't figure out why Jim Cornette would be doing commentary on Raw in 1999. I dug through the 411 archives, but the earliest Raw we have on file is 06.26.2000. Feel free to drop me an email if you have an additional information, but for the moment I'll go with Adam and assume that is was in fact Jim Cornette.
Anyway, I think we have some wrestling to discuss. You're probably aware that unlike Raw and Smackdown!, Heat is now available exclusively on WWE.com. The video-on-demand nature of Heat allows me to screen each episode for you while still allowing you to watch all or part of the show after reading my report. I want this column to be a resource to help you decide which segments are worth watching and which segments are worth skipping. However, I also want to cover each segment in detail for those of you who do not have the time, the desire, or the ability to watch Heat yourself. I'm going to try and meet both of these goals by separating this column into a preview and a review. The preview will include the title of each segment, the tag line for each segment, the running time for each segment, and the non-spoiler bottom line on whether or not the segment is worth watching. The review will include a detailed description of all of the action in each segment. Okay kids, enough with the boring stuff. Let's get to the wrestling.
The Preview
Segment 1: Haas in Action Tag Line: Watch Charlie Haas take on Akio this week on Heat. Running Time: 9:24 Bottom Line: Let's make this real simple. Watch it. This match was certainly good enough to have been on Raw. Hell, it was even good enough to have been on Backlash, because it was easily better than Flair vs. Umaga and Big Show vs. Kane. Needless to say, this is certainly a strong Heat MOTYC. So yeah, like I said, watch it.
Segment 2: School in Session Tag Line: Watch Matt Striker face Bryan Jennings in one-on-one action. Running Time: 6:49 Bottom Line: It was a squash. There's really no way to get around that. However, for some reason it was still mildly entertaining. I guess it's a compliment to Striker that he can take a squash match and give it some life. Watch it if you've got some extra time, but don't make it a top priority. In fact, you might want to watch that Hass / Akio match a second time before you get around to watching this match.
Segment 3: It's a Big Show Tag Line: Watch Big Show battle John Moxley & Dick Rick in a Handicap Match. Running Time: 5:29 Bottom Line: It's another squash match, but this one isn't nearly as entertaining as Striker's match was. Show is certainly having fun out there, but it's hard to really be engaged by a match when the final result is never in question. Skip it.
Segment 4: Viscera vs. Cade Tag Line: Watch Viscera take on Lance Cade in the main event of Heat. Running Time: 9:09 Bottom Line: The bulk of the match is relatively mundane, but the finish is great. We NEVER get a finish like this on Heat. Watch it, if only for the finish.
The Review
Segment 1: Haas in Action (Charlie Haas vs. Akio)
We start off with the new WWE: The Power is Back video followed by the Heat opening video. Todd Grisham, alongside, um, himself, welcomes us to Heat. That's right, "The Coach" Jonathan Coachman is still missing in action, so Todd Grisham is taking a page out of Joey Styles' playbook and doing the duties alone tonight. You know, I've had dates that ended like that, but I'm guessing that you're not reading this column for an update on my romantic endeavors. Anyway, some slightly Asian-sounding music hits, and Akio makes his way down the ramp. Yep, that's Jimmy Yang to all of you ROH fans in the audience. Akio climbs onto the ring apron and hits the corner to survey the crowd. Akio climbs into the ring, turns to face the stage, and is greeted by THE WORLD'S GREATEST ENTRANCE MUSIC! Mad props to whoever brought this little ditty out of mothballs. Seriously nice touch. Charlie Haas makes his way through the curtain and down the ramp. Haas is getting some impressive love from the crowd, and I wholeheartedly approve. I loved Haas in both Team Angle and The World's Greatest Tag Team, and I have to believe that he could be a great addition to the Raw mid-card. A Charlie Haas / Shelton Benjamin feud could produce some amazing matches. Anyway, Haas climbs into the ring and really pops the crowd. It's great to see Haas get this kind of reception from the crowd. Both guys are in the ring and seem ready for action, so the referee signals for the bell, and this match is officially underway.
Haas and Akio circle each other to start. They approach each other and Akio goes for a roundhouse kick to Haas' head, but Haas reels backwards to avoid contact. Haas and Akio again circle each other before locking each other up in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Hass quickly slides around Akio and takes him down with a schoolboy roll-up. Haas has Akio covered but only gets a one count before Akio kicks out. Both men get back to their feet, and the crowd applauds in appreciation of the opening sequence. Haas and Akio again lock each other up in a collar-and-elbow tie-up, but this time Akio spins Haas around and muscles him to the corner. The referee calls for the clean break, so Akio releases the hold but immediately shoves Haas in the chest. Haas retaliates with a shove to Akio's chest that sends Akio down to the mat, but Akio rolls through, flips over, and lands on his feet. Akio charges towards Haas, but Haas slides around Akio and catches him in a rear waist lock. Hass lifts Akio into the air and slams him face-first down to the mat. Haas maintains the rear waist lock while Akio springs back to his feet. Haas lifts Akio into the air and once again slams him face-first down to the mat. Haas spins around and catches Akio in a front face lock, but Akio fights back to his feet. Hass transitions to an arm wringer on Akio before guiding Akio over to the corner and slamming his arm into the top turnbuckle.
Akio again charges towards Haas, but this time Haas catches Akio with a deep arm-drag take-down. Haas has Akio down on the mat and locks in what I can only call a Funk Spinning Finger Hold. Yeah, picture a Funk Spinning Toe Hold that's applied to the arm instead of the leg. That's the basic idea. Akio gives Haas two kicks to the jaw, and Haas is forced to break the hold. Akio climbs back to his feet as Haas reels backwards in pain. Akio traps Haas in the corner and delivers a THUNDEROUS chop to Haas' chest. Akio pauses for a moment before delivering a second VICIOUS chop to Haas' chest. Akio kicks Haas in the gut, channels Rob Van Dam, jumps into the air, spins around, and kicks Haas in the face. This match is so freaking sweet so far. Akio waits for Haas to stagger back towards the middle of the ring before whipping him to the ropes. Haas comes off the ropes and Akio leaps into the air. It look like Akio was going for a high drop kick or a sunset flip, but Haas gets an arm between Akio's legs and delivers a one-armed modified flapjack to Akio. The crowd popped HUGE for that move.
Haas drags Akio back to his feet but sends him right back down to the mat with a textbook scoop slam. Haas brings Akio back to a seated position and delivers a stiff kick to Akio's back followed by a SICK chop to Akio's chest. Haas follows up with a second stiff kick to Akio's back and a second BOOMING chop to Akio's chest. Haas completes the hat trick with a third stiff kick to Akio's back and a third MONSTROUS chop to Akio's chest. Okay, I want to see Charlie Haas vs. Samoa Joe NOW! Watching those two guys pound the shit out of each other would be an absolute thing of beauty. Of course, I completely understand that this would create a bit of a problem, because one of them would have to jump ship for that match to occur. As I mentioned earlier, I LOVE that Haas is back on Raw, and I think there are a number of fun possibilities for him there, so I'd hate to seem him head to TNA right now. On the other hand, I would cry like a freaking baby if Joe jumped to Raw, because you KNOW that he would end up as Umaga's long lost brother. Then again, a YouTube video of Samoa Joe chopping the shit out of a random member of the Spirit Squad would be great fun, so I guess it wouldn't be a total loss. Anyway, I think I was recapping a match or something. Haas covers Akio but only gets a two count before Akio kicks out.
Haas grabs Akio's arm and locks in what looks to be some sort of side key lock, but Akio fights back to his feet and tosses Haas with something akin to a modified hip toss. Haas falls forward towards the corner and smashes his face into the second turnbuckle as Akio gets back to his feet. Haas gets back to his feet but drapes himself chest-first across the top turnbuckle. Akio charges towards Haas from behind, leaps into the air, spins around, kicks Haas in the back of the head, flies OVER the top turnbuckle, grabs the top rope, and climbs back onto the ring apron. Just awesome. Akio climbs to the top turnbuckle while Haas staggers back to the middle of the ring. Haas turns to face Akio, but Akio connects with a top rope missile drop kick to Haas. Akio applies a front face-lock to Haas but then flips over and bridges while maintaining the hold in order to wrench Haas' back and neck. Akio rolls to the side and returns to the standard front face-lock position. Haas fights back to his feet and breaks the hold with two elbow shots to Akio's gut, but Akio replies by raking Haas' eyes. Akio kicks Haas in the hamstring, Haas falls to his knees, and Akio connects with an enzuigiri, but Grisham calls it a Shining Wizard. Take your pick, but I'm pretty sure that I'm right.
Akio toys with Haas and gives him three light kicks to the head. Haas tries to use the ropes to get back to his feet, so Akio offers some assistance and drapes Haas over the second rope. Akio uses his leg to choke Haas against the second rope, but the referee calls for the break. Haas gets back to his feet and fights back with two elbow shots to Akio's gut and a forearm shot to Akio's face. Haas hits the ropes and charges towards Akio, but Akio slides around and catches Haas with a standing sleeper hold. Haas drops down to one knee while the crowd really starts to rally behind him. Haas fights back to his feet, gives Akio two elbow shots to the gut, and finally breaks the hold with a belly-to-back suplex. Both men get back to their feet, and Akio takes a swing at Haas. Haas blocks Akio's punch but connects with a punch of his own. Akio takes another swing at Haas, but once again Haas block's Akio's punch and connects with a punch of his own. Haas lands two more punches to Akio's face, whips Akio to the ropes, and drops Akio down to the mat with a back elbow shot to the face. Akio gets back to his feet, but Haas immediately drops him with a clothesline. Akio again gets back to his feet, but Haas again drops him with a clothesline.
Okay, kids, it's now time for your déjà vu scary spot of the night. Haas drags Akio to his feet, whips him to the ropes, and connects with what I believe he intended to be a one-armed flapjack. I think that Haas intended for Akio to land on his face. However, it also appears as though Akio thought Haas was going for a one-armed back body drop, because Akio flipped in the air and instead landed on his back. Akio did in fact land on his back and no harm was done, but this is eerily reminiscent of the Benoit / Sabu spot from ECW. For those of you who are unfamiliar with that incident, Benoit and Sabu were facing each other in a match back in ECW about ten or eleven years ago. Less than a minute into the match, Benoit went for a flapjack on Sabu, but Sabu tried to flip into a back body drop. However, Sabu under-rotated and landed RIGHT ON HIS HEAD. Sabu actually did break his neck, and the match could not continue. This is the incident that earned Benoit the nickname "The Crippler."
Anyway, back in the match at hand, Akio crawls to the corner and uses the ropes to climb to his feet. Haas charges towards Akio, but Akio gets both feet up and plants a pair of boots in Haas' face. Haas staggers back towards the middle of the ring while Akio charges towards him. Akio goes for a leaping roundhouse kick to Haas' head, but Haas ducks underneath Akio's leg. Haas hits the ropes and LEVELS Akio with a Big Boot to the face. The crowd is going BANANAS for Haas at this point. Haas drags Akio to his feet, lifts him up for as for a scoop slam, drops his feet onto the mat while maintaining an inverted facelock, and hits an inverted DDT. Haas covers Akio and gets the three count. Haas' music hits as the referee raises his hand in victory. Hass hits the corner and finishes up with some love from the crowd.
We move on to a promo for Big Show in action still to come on Heat.
We finish up with a commercial for the replay of Backlash all this week on pay-per-view.
Match Result: Charlie Haas defeats Akio with an inverted DDT. Match Length: 5:31 Best Spot: Haas' one-armed modified flapjack
Segment 2: School in Session (Matt Striker vs. Bryan Jennings)
We're back on Heat, the bell rings, and Matt Striker's music hits. WWE's answer to Mr. Feeny makes his way down the ramp. Okay, help me out here. Have I already used the Feeny joke? I know I've used Miss Bliss, Charlie Moore, and Gabe Kotter, but I can't remember if I've used Mr. Feeny yet. I guess I'm starting to run out of dated teacher references. Anyway, there seems to be a plethora of "Matt Striker Loves Poop" signs in the audience tonight. Somebody should be shot over this. That segment at Backlash was absolutely painful. Striker climbs into the ring where Bryan Jennings is already waiting for him. Striker pulls off the sweater and grabs a microphone from ringside. This never ends well for anyone involved.
Matt Striker: "As most of you are learning, and tonight, young man, you will realize this as well, the lesson is that you DO NOT disrespect Matt Striker, because I am your teacher. And I DO NOT love poop!"
Well, at least it was short. Wait, I thought we agreed not to discuss my love life, didn't we? Okay, I'll move on. Both guys are in the ring and seem ready for action, so the referee signals for the bell, and this match is officially underway. Striker and Jennings circle each other to start before locking each other up in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Striker flings Jennings down to the mat, rolls him to his chest, drops down to the mat himself, and slaps Jennings across the back of the head. Striker brings Jennings to his knees and hits a modified swinging neck breaker. Striker covers Jennings but only gets a two count before Jennings kicks out.
Striker applies some sort of arm submission to Jennings, but Jennings fights to his knees. Jennings eventually gets all the way to his feet and reveres into a hammer lock on Striker. Striker climbs out of the ring between the top rope and the second rope but then climbs back into the ring between the second rope and the bottom rope. Jennings tried to maintain the hammer lock throughout, but in the process his arm became wrapped around the second rope. Striker finally breaks the hold by kicking Jennings' arm. Jennings staggers back toward the middle of the ring, but Striker drops him with an arm breaker. Striker rolls Jennings onto his back, extends Jennings' already injured arm, steps on Jennings' arm, and then drops backward so that his back lands on Jennings' arm. Striker again slams Jennings' arm onto the mat, waits for Jennings to climb to his feet, and then literally kicks Jennings' ass. Striker traps Jennings in the corner, but Jennings tries to fight back with a kick to Striker's gut. Striker retaliates with two clubbing forearm shots to Jennings' gut, grabs Jennings' arm, and rolls forward and down to the mat into a Fujiwara armbar on Jennings. Jennings eventually fights back to his feet and attempts to break the hold with two forearm shots to Striker's chest, but Striker once again flings Jennings back down to the mat.
Striker drags Jennings to his feet and goes for a scoop slam, but Jennings slides over Striker's back and shoves Striker to the corner. Striker slams chest-first into the corner, staggers back to the middle of the ring, and is met with a hip toss from Jennings. Striker gets back to his feet, but Jennings immediately connects with a scoop slam to Striker while continuing to sell the damage to his own arm. Striker once again gets back to his feet, but Jennings takes him down with a schoolboy roll-up. Jennings has Striker covered but only gets a two count before Striker kicks out. Striker crawls to the corner and gets to his knees. Jennings heads for Striker, but Striker grabs Jennings and pulls him chest-first into the top turnbuckle. Striker gets back to his feet and beats Jennings down to the mat with a vicious series of forearm shots and chops to the chest. Striker rakes his boot across Jennings' face two times before hitting the ropes and damn near killing Jennings with a boot across the face. The crowd popped nicely for that move. Dude, Jennings isn't moving. This guy sells like a star. Striker drags Jennings to the middle of the ring and allows Jennings to slowly climb back to his feet. Striker then connects with the Golden Rule. That must be his new finisher. It's basically an inverted Overdrive in which Striker places his inside knee behind his opponent's head, grabs his opponent's far arm, and falls backwards, thus spinning his opponent and driving the back of his opponent's head into his knee. The bell rings and Striker's music hits. The referee tries to raise Striker's hand in victory, but Striker instead stomps on Jennings's chest. Striker then allows the referee to raise his hand in victory before climbing out onto the ring apron to taunt the crowd.
We finish up with a commercial for the new WWE entrance music album, WWE Wreckless Intent, available May 23rd.
Match Result: Matt Striker defeats Bryan Jennings with the Golden Rule. Match Length: 3:47 Best Spot: Striker's Golden Rule
Segment 3: It's a Big Show (Big Show vs. John Moxley & Dick Rick in a Handicap Match)
We're back on Heat, and it's time for a Handicap Match. "Well it's the Big Show!" Big Show's music hits, and the biggest athlete in the world makes his way through the curtain and down the ramp. Big Show climbs into the ring where John Moxley and Dick Rick are already waiting for him. Dude, seriously, Dick Rick? If that really is the dude's name, then he seriously needs to look into the concept of a ring name. And if that's the ring name that this dude CHOSE, the he deserves to be beaten silly. Dick Rick. Seriously, what the hell? Anyway, Big Show gets some love for the crowd, and it seems as though they're ready to see the giant squish some jobbers. It looks like Moxley and Rick are both going to be in the ring with Big Show at the same time instead of having to tag each other in and out. All three men are in the ring and seem ready for action, so the referee signals for the bell, and this match is officially underway.
Moxley and Rick split up and come at Show from opposite directions. Dude, one of these guys looks just like a young Shawn Michaels. I'd tell you which one, but I'm not really sure. Grisham is proving to be absolutely useless in helping me figure out which one is Moxley and which one is Rick. I'm going to assume that the one that looks like HBK is Moxley and that the other one is Rick, but I'll let you know if Grisham actually pulls his head out of his ass and gives these guys names at any point during the match. Anyway, like I said, Moxley and Rick split up and come at Show from opposite directions. Show shoves Moxley down to the mat while Rick jumps up onto Show's back. Rick puts a sleeper hold on Show, but Show turns around, backs into the corner, and drives Rick back-first into the top turnbuckle. Rick releases the hold and slumps into the corner as Moxley gets to his feet. Show kicks Moxley in the gut and flings him at Rick. This causes Moxley to spear Rick into the corner. Show turns Moxley around so that his back is against Rick's chest. Show calls for a hush to come over the crowd and chops Moxley across the chest. Moxley stumbles to the middle of the ring while Show again quiets the crowd and chops Rick across the chest. Show whips Rick to the opposite corner, charges after him, spins around, and catches Rick with a butt-splash in the corner. Hey, don't blame me, I just report it.
Moxley gets back to his feet, but Show charges towards him and levels him with a running clothesline. Rick comes out of the corner, but Show drops him with a second clothesline. Moxley is face-down on the mat near the ropes, so Show grabs the ropes and stands on Moxley's back. That dude is now officially a pancake. Show drags Rick to his feet and military presses him into the air as Moxley gets back to his feet. Show tosses Rick towards Moxley, and Rick takes down Moxley with an inadvertent high cross body block. Moxley is now face-up in the middle of the ring, and Show once again steps right on his gut. That dude's insides are going to pop out his ears if this match goes much longer. Show drags Rick to his feet, drapes him back-first across the top rope, calls for silence, and chops Rick across the chest. Show drags Moxley to his feet but immediately drops him back down to the mat with a headbutt.
Show drags both Moxley and Rick back to their feet. He gets the DOUBLE GOOZLE, but Moxley and Rick break the hold by raking Show's injured eyes. Rick hits the ropes and charges at Show, but Show levels Rick with the Big Boot. Moxley hits the ropes and charges at Show, but Show catches him with the goozle and hits the choke slam. Rick slowly crawls back to his feet but stumbles into a choke slam of his own. Show's music hits as the referee raises his hand in victory. Show climbs out of the ring and gets some love from the crowd on his way back up the ramp. You know, Show has been seriously misused throughout his career, but he always seems to have a hell of alot of fun in the ring.
We finish up with a commercial for the special Kane: See No Evil Magazine available now at newsstands everywhere.
Match Result: Big Show defeats Dick Rick (or possibly John Moxley) with the choke slam. Match Length: 2:52 Best Spot: Big Show's butt-splash
Segment 4: Viscera vs. Cade (Viscera vs. Lance Cade)
We start off with a video package featuring highlights of John Cena vs. Kenny for the WWE Championship with Triple H as the special guest referee from the 05.01.06 episode of Raw.
We're back on Heat, and it's time for our MAIN EVENT. Lance Cade's music hits, and WWE's answer to Garth Brooks makes his way down the ramp. I miss Garrison Cade. Just saying. Cade climbs into the ring, takes off his shirt, and whips it a Lillian Garcia. Dude, not smart. I'm pretty sure we've been over this before. You're already in a match with Viscera. Let's try not to, you know, PISS OFF THE BIG GUY THAT LIKES TO ANALLY VIOLATE OTHER DUDES. It just seems like the smart move, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. "The world's largest love machine is HERE!" Viscera's music hits, and the one true love of Lillian Garcia's life makes his way down the ramp. Viscera climbs onto the ring apron, gets some love from the crowd, and climbs into the ring. Viscera loses the robe and scarf, the referee signals for the bell, and this match is officially underway.
Lance Cade pulls his usual Pearl Harbor job and rushes Viscera from behind. Cade gives Viscera two clubbing forearm shots to the back and two more clubbing forearm shots to the face. Cade tries to whip Viscera to the ropes, but Viscera puts on the brakes and instead whips Cade to the ropes. Cade come off the ropes and Viscera goes for a clothesline, but Cade ducks underneath Viscera's arm. Viscera turns around and is met with two punches to the face from Cade. Cade hits the ropes and charges at Viscera, but Viscera catches him with a HUGE scoop slam. Cade gets back to his feet, but Viscera catches him with a modified belly-to-belly suplex. Okay, actually it wasn't much of a suplex at all. Viscera just wrapped his arms around Cade's waist, lifted Cade into the air, and slammed Cade back-first down to the mat. I'm guessing it still hurt like hell.
Cade crawls to the corner and uses the ropes to climb back to his feet. Viscera traps Cade in the corner and gives him a chop to the chest. Viscera whips Cade to the opposite corner, waits for him to bounce back to the middle of the ring, and lifts him up for a Samoan Drop. Viscera has Cade in the air, but Cade grabs the ropes to prevent Viscera from completing the Samoan Drop. Cade slides off of Viscera's back and lands on his feet on the ring apron. Cade rakes Viscera's eyes, grabs Viscera's head, and drops Viscera neck-first down across the top rope as Cade himself drops down to the arena floor. Cade slides back into the ring, hits the ropes, and connects with a running clothesline to Viscera, but VISCERA DOES NOT GO DOWN! Wow, now I kind of wish I hadn't put that last part in all capital letters. Cade hits the ropes and connects with a running forearm shot to Viscera's back, but VISCERA STILL REFUSES TO GO DOWN! Oh hell, as long as I started it, I might as well run with it. Cade traps Viscera in the corner and punches him in the face. Cade tries to whip Viscera to the opposite corner, but Viscera will not be moved. Cade gives Viscera a knee to the gut and a forearm shot to the face before once again trying to whip Viscera to the opposite corner, but Viscera reverses and instead whips Cade to the opposite corner. Viscera charges towards Cade, but Cade catches Viscera with a back elbow shot to the face. Cade climbs to the second rope and connects with a second rope flying lariat that finally sends Viscera down to the mat. Cade covers Viscera but only gets a two count before Viscera kicks out.
Cade brings Viscera to a seated position and gives him a forearm shot to the side of the head. Cade gives Viscera a second forearm shot to the side of the head before wrenching away at Viscera's neck. Viscera manages to fight back to his feet, so Cade relinquishes the hold and gives Viscera a clubbing forearm shot to the back. Cade hits the ropes and charges towards Viscera, but Viscera seems to just shove him down to the mat. That can't be the way they intended that to go. I was expecting a clothesline from Cade or a powerslam from Viscera, but certainly not that. Anyway, Viscera stands over Cade before connecting with a leg drop to Cade's neck. Hmm, I haven't seen Viscera use the leg drop in quite some time. Both men get back to their feet, but Viscera sends Cade right back down to the mat with a running clothesline. Cade bounces back to his feet, but a second clothesline from Viscera sends him back down to the mat. Cade once again bounces back to his feet, Viscera whips him to the ropes, Cade charges towards Viscera, and Viscera catches Cade with the Back Hole Slam. Viscera rolls Cade onto his stomach, and I think we all know what's coming now. Sweet Baby James do I hate this part. Viscera stands over Cade's head and shakes what his momma gave him, but Cade does the smart thing and rolls out of the way. Cade crawls to the corner and uses the ropes to climb to his feet. Viscera traps Cade in the corner and gives him a chop to the chest. Viscera whips Cade to the opposite corner, charges after him, and splashes him in the corner. Cade staggers out of the corner, and Viscera clotheslines him over the top rope and down to the arena floor. Viscera climbs out of the ring and follows Cade down to the arena floor. Cade crawls over to the announce position, grabs a chair, gets to his feet, spins around, and ABSOLUTELY LEVELS Viscera with a chair shot to the head. The referee calls for the bell, disqualifies Cade, and declares Viscera the winner. Cade is LIVID that the referee disqualified him. Dude, what did you expect to happen? You totally forgot to bump the ref before the chair shot! Cade heads back up the ramp as Viscera lies motionless on the arena floor. They're going to need a freaking forklift to get him backstage. Hell of a way to finish off this episode of Heat.
Match Result: Viscera defeats Lance Cade by disqualification when Cade hits Viscera with a chair. Match Length: 3:44 Best Spot: Cade's chair shot. Dude, was there any question? We NEVER get chair shots on Heat.
Okay kids, that's it for this edition of Heat. Hope you had fun. Feel free to email me with any comments or suggestions. I'll see you back here next weekend.
