The ECF'nW One Night Stand 2 Breakdown
Posted by J.D. Dunn on 06.11.2006
Will ECW capture a World Title?
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ECW: One Night Stand 2
June 11, 2006
Live from New York, NY.
Your hosts are Joey Styles and Taz.
Paul Heyman opens the show to say the tribe of extreme has risen again, and this time, they'll poor their Kool-Aid down the throats of a global audience. OH YEAH! He puts over the new TV deal to chants of "ECW" and "Thank you, Paul!", but he gives credit to the fans. This is bigger than Raw, bigger than Smackdown, THIS IS THE REBIRTH OF ECW! Hey, Green Lantern dude's in the audience. All right.
Opening Match: Taz vs. Jerry Lawler.
Taz has a pretty damned cool "War Machine" rip off. See, TNA, if you want to rip off a real song, this is how you do it. My spider-sense tells me CM Punk will interfere on Lawler's behalf. Lawler stops during his entrance to slap Joey Styles in the mouth, so Joey jumps on his back once he gets in the ring. Lawler slams him down and goes for the piledriver, so Taz slaps on the Tazmission from behind and gets Lawler to pass out at 0:37. Well, that's one way to open a show. 1/4*
Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton.
Gee, the crowd just *loves* Orton. He endears himself by stalling. Angle goes for the ankle early, but Orton crawls all the way to the floor. His demand that the fans "shut the fuck up!" gets bleeped because 7-second delays are EXTREME! Kurt gets sick of Orton's stalling, so he offers Orton a headlock only to shuck him off. He offers again and gives Orton a backdrop suplex. Finally, Orton avoids a corner charge, and Kurt posts himself. Orton targets the neck, but Angle keeps riding him down amateur style. Orton grabs the Ortonlock, prompting chants of "boring." Angle comes back with Rolling Germans, but Orton counters the Angleslam to an armdrag. Angle counters the stretch backbreaker to a backdrop suplex and hits the Angleslam, but it only gets two. Angle goes for the Anklelock instead, but Orton rolls through and hits the stretch backbreaker he was looking for. Angle rolls through a crossbody, though, but Orton stays on top with a short clothesline. Randy rolls through the Anklelock into a reverse rollup for two, but Angle counters the RKO into the legscissors Anklelock for the tap out at 15:08. It was just nearfall after nearfall down the stretch, and the crowd was loving every minute of it. The icing on the cake is that Orton demands that TWO referees carry him out on his injured ankle. ***1/4
Tony Mamaluke & Little Guido (w/Big Guido) vs. Super Crazy & Tajiri.
Interesting to see Tajiri and Crazy teaming up. I was kind of hoping for Mamaluke to go all shoot-style like he did in Ring of Honor, but it doesn't happen. The crowd chants "Nacho Libre" at Super Crazy, which is the same thing I thought when he came out. Nacho…I mean Crazy powers out of a short-arm scissors and hits a press X-Factor for two. Tajiri and Guido go next with Tajiri hitting some kicks. Guido counters a tilt-o-whirl into the wakigatame. Mamaluke tries to bust up the tree-of-woe dropkick, but Crazy cuts him off, and he babyfaces (?) get a double tree-of-woe dropkick. Mamaluke saves Guido from a moonsault, so Crazy hits them BOTH with a quebrada. Big Guido trips up Crazy, allowing the FBI to bust out the MPro camel clutch/seated dropkick combo. Tajiri runs in and tags them both with kicks just for fun. HOT TAG TO TAJIRI! Tajiri cleans house with kicks on everyone and an double armscissors lock on Mamaluke. STEREO TARANTULAS! Big Guido tries to get involved, but Crazy and Tajiri doubleteam him and dropkick him down. Nunzio sends Crazy out into the crowd, and the FBI finishes Tajiri with the double Fisherman's suplex at 12:24. They looked like they just wanted to go out and have fun. Big Show comes down and destroys all five guys, including a sick Cobra Clutch Backbreaker to Mamaluke. **3/4
John Bradshaw Layfield enters from the second tier and brags about knocking out Blue Meanie last year. He makes fun of internet marks, Taz, sci-fi fans, and ECW. The crowd chants "asshole," so he tells them they paid to see him, not the other way around. Taz rightly points out that JBL wasn't even advertised. JBL announces that he is coming back to Smackdown as "the new voice of Smackdown." So…he's not fired then?
World Heavyweight Title, Extreme Rules: Rey Misterio vs. Sabu.
Rey has the old school tight-ankle tights and "ECW" stitched to the back of his head, just in case you're interested in fashion. He needs the reflective eye protectors. They open with a brief feeling-out period and decide to just duel with chairs. Sabu hits his springboard legline, but Rey drop toeholds him into the chair and hits a rana. Rey avoids the triple jump plancha, but Sabu breaks up the sunset flip back in and hits a guillotine legdrop. Sabu sets up a table on the outside, but Rey dropkicks him on it and puts him through the table with a springboard vertical senton. Back in, Sabu avoids a springboard move and hits his own springboard legline. The Triplejump Moonsault gets two. The Atomic Arabian Facebuster misses, but so does Rey's springboard seated senton, and Rey winds up crotching himself on a chair. Sabu knocks him out with a SICK chairshot. He sets Rey up on the table again and hits a TRIPLEJUMP SPRINGBOARD DDT THROUGH THE TABLE! They bring out a "doctor" who says the two guys can't continue, and they stop the match at 9:08. The crowd is not impressed. Good stuff until the non-finish. It wasn't at all the big spot, wander around, big spot, lay around for a few minutes, big spot type of match that you've probably come to expect from Sabu. **3/4
Mick Foley & Edge (w/Lita) vs. Terry Funk & Tommy Dreamer (w/Beulah McGillicuty).
Foley gives a half-hearted apology and says he misses the days when ECW was owned by a visionary…Stephanie McMahon! He tries to start a "long live the Alliance" chant, which even gets a chuckle out of Taz. The ECW contingent comes out, and Beulah asks to make it a six-person tag. Lita slaps her in the face, and it…is…ON!
Six-Person Tag: Mick Foley, Edge & Beulah McGillicuty vs. Mick Foley, Edge & Lita.
Edge and Dreamer do a little exchange before Mick gets in and calls out Terry Funk. Terry takes him to the outside early and pummels him. They pair off, and Edge pulls out a ladder. He javelins it into Dreamer's face and preps to spear him into it, but Dreamer counters to a hiptoss onto the ladder. Terry Funk gets a hold of the ladder and does the helicopter trick, taking out Edge & Foley. Funk climbs the ladder for a moonsault, but Edge pushes it over, dumping Funk off. Dreamer hops in and goes for the DVD, but Lita breaks it up with a low kick. Edge and Foley introduce a barbed-wire board into the match. Well, this can't be any kind of healthy. They sort of suplex it on Dreamer, taking out a chunk of his head when they pull it off. Funk sneaks up on Edge & Foley and yanks their feet out from under them, putting THEM underneath the board. The crowd chants "this is awesome" as Foley is shoved into the barbed-wire. That's a bit generous. Funk gets tied up in the barbed-wire and winds up at Foley's mercy. Foley tries to rip his eye out, so the medics come to drag Funk to the back. That leaves Dreamer in there with Foley and Edge…oh, and a BARBED-WIRE BAT! Lita legdrops the bat into Dreamer's crotch, prompting chants of "We want Sandman!" Mick then goes way over the line, way too hardcore, by bringing out – SOCKO! Beulah takes the Mandible Claw first, then Dreamer. Edge spears Dreamer but doesn't want to go for the pin. Instead, he stops to humiliate Beulah. Oh, but here's Terry Funk, returning through the crowd with a bandaged eye and his own barbed-wire 2x4! Edge & Foley see him coming, but that just provides enough distraction for Dreamer to lowblow them. Funk lights the board ON FIRE AND KNOCKS FOLEY THROUGH THE BARBED-WIRE BOARD WITH IT! Dreamer DDTs Edge and strangles him with the barbed-wire! Lita makes the save, but Beulah grabs her from behind. CATFIGHT! CAAAAATFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! Dreamer grabs Lita and gets a little revenge with the DVD. Edge sneaks back up and gives Dreamer the barbed-wire assisted Edge-o-matic. He spears Beulah and pins her Paris Hilton-style at 18:45. Well, the WWE guys had to get one. You know how I say there is a difference between "heavily booking a match" and the overused cliché of "overbooking?" Well, this was a heavily booked match in just the right place. They disguised the limitations of three of the four guys perfectly, so while it wasn't exactly a masterpiece, it had just the right mix of action and drama. ****
Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka.
Joey Styles runs through Balls' amateur career. He had none because he punched out a referee and was banned. Tanaka gets a crossbody as the Styles and Taz bury Mike Awesome. You know, it WAS six years ago. I think it's safe to let it go. Balls hits a powerslam and a series of jabs. Balls spills over the top and catches his tailbone on the apron. It doesn't stop him from blocking a pescado and slapping Tanaka upside the head with beer. Tanaka comes back with the bottled water slap! PLEASE DON'T DIE! PLEASE DON'T DIE! PLEASE DON'T DIE! Back in, Balls catches Tanaka going up and delivers a superplex. They each grab chairs and duel it out. Balls wins that and DESTROYS Tanaka with a chairshot for the win at 5:06. *3/4
Eugene comes out to profess his love for ECW. In fact, his Uncle Eric used to say he was as smart as an ECW fan. The Sandman interrupts Eugene's poem, but it's just not the same without "Enter Sandman." He beats Eugene all the way to the back and drinks a beer to celebrate.
WWE Heavyweight Title: John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam.
Cena gets the usual reaction only more so. He tries to throw his shirt out into the crowd, but they keep throwing it back. Stiff tie-up to start. Cena hits an early Fisherman's Suplex for two. Van Dam wins a slugfest but runs right into a powerslam. Cena goes up and drops the hammer off the top rope. Van Dam comes back with a moonsault block off the steps. They brawl out into the crowd with Cena dominating. Van Dam catches Cena coming over the rail, though, and hits the spinning legdrop. Back in, Van Dam gives him the corner Van Daminator for two. Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder and the split-legged moonsault, but Cena gets his knees up to counter the latter. Cena gives him a DDT onto the chair and slingshots Van Dam STRAIGHT into the chair set up in the corner. Sick. FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE! Van Dam slips out of the FU and hits a spinning jump kick. Van Dam goes up, but Cena catches him with a Schoolboy Bomb. Van Dam dropkicks him to the railing and sets up a table in the corner. Cena sees him coming, though, and drop toeholds him down into the STFU. RVD makes the ropes. Referee John Finnegan has to pull Cena off him, so Cena gets pissed and gives the ref a clothesline. Nick Patrick replaces him as Cena smashes the ringsteps into RVD's face. Van Dam blocks the FU, so Cena just dumps him over the top. Suddenly, a guy in a leather coat and a helmet comes in and spears Cena through the table. He unmasks to reveal…Edge? Rob hits the Five-Star Frogsplash, but there's no ref, so Paul Heyman runs in and counts the three at 20:40. They announce Van Dam as the new champion, and he celebrates with the rest of the roster, but look for it to be held up to hype the Sci-Fi premiere. The match was memorable more for the crowd than anything else, but Cena looked much more at home as a heel. ***1/2
Final Thoughts: Well, this is a good show to start out the new brand with. I don't think it's quite as good as last year's, but it's a cut above the average WWE PPV because **GASP** things are actually happening. Still, it felt a little too much like they're trying to define themselves as the anti-WWE, which will work for a while, but they'll eventually need to distance themselves and come up with a new identity of their own. Easy thumbs up for historical value and general good time-iness.
