The ECW on Sci-Fi Breakdown 07.11.07
Posted by J.D. Dunn on 07.11.2006
Social Security is EXTREEEEEME!
ECW on Sci-Fi
July 11, 2006
Live from Minneapolis, Minn.
Your hosts are Joey Styles and Taz.
Paul Heyman (w/riot police) struts out to explain himself. He asks for a moment of honesty (**cough**) and then blames the people for the downfall of Rob Van Dam. He then compares himself to Jesus, sacrificing himself for the sins of the fans. Okay, that's just absurd. Jesus had thick, lustrous head of hair. Basically, the gist is he suspended Van Dam for working too hard. This was a far cry from telling Sabu to go fuck himself when he no-showed, but Heyman can make just about any speech work.
He heads to the back where he encounters Tommy Dreamer who says he's having a hard time with Heyman's actions. Heyman says he'd love to stay and chat, but Dreamer has a match coming up.
Tommy Dreamer vs. Test
Test slaps Dreamer in the face, so Dreamer takes him over the top with a Cactus Clothesline. It's all Test from there, though. He gives Tommy a backbreaker and a bearhug. RESTHOLDS ARE EXTREEEEEEEME! Dreamer comes back and goes for a DDT, but Test counters and hits a Full Nelson Slam. Dreamer avoids an elbowdrop and goes for the Dreamerdriver, but Test slips off and schoolboys him with his feet on the ropes for the win. 3/4*
Somewhere, perhaps in the bowels of this very arena, Gangrel II bites some goth chick…and then she blogs about it on MySpace and complains about how fake all the kids at her school are and how they don't think like individuals.
Stripper stuff now. I guess, much like Lex Luger, Kelly Kelly just needed someone more talented to carry her. In this case, Candice Michelle makes things a bit more fun. Funny moment as Mike Knox comes out to stop her from dancing and Joey Styles lets loose a Freudian slip saying "This is just redundant" instead of "This is just ridiculous." The Sandman stumbles out and knocks Knox through the set with a cane shot. Careful, Sandman. He might bodyslam you four times.
The new CM Punk reminds me of the old Patrick Bateman.
Sabu vs. Justin Credible.
Justin gets a series of legdrops early, but Sabu comes back with his usual. He goes over the top with a somersault plancha. Sabu puts him on a table and legdrops him through it for the DQ at 1:50. I guess the point is to prove that this ECW is not the real ECW where there are no disqualification ending and also to prove that Sabu doesn't care. 1/2*
Balls Mahoney admits he's a little nuts.
Ric Flair rightly no-sells his match with Big Show tonight to continue his feud with Foley. Oh yeah, the title? Sure. I'll take another. Just throw it on the pile.
Shannon Moore looks on mysteriously. I don't know who looks more bush league, TNA for putting him in a feud and not signing him or the WWE for signing him.
ECW Heavyweight Title: Big Show vs. Ric Flair.
Remember when they used to chant "Flair is dead" when Shane Douglas would wrestle? This is just like every Flair vs. Big Man match he's ever wrestled. Flair bumps around while Show stands there and no-sells everything. Flair gets busted open and, ironically, tries to go hardcore by digging out plunder from under the ring. Big Show catches him though. Flair goes low, which is legal because this is under "Extreme Rules." Flair goes low again…and again…and again…and again. I'm sensing a theme here. Flair finally does go under the ring and brings out a barbed-wire baseball bat. He busts Show open with it and hits him in the gut. A few chairshots put Show down finally. Flair goes to his bag of tricks THUMBTACKS! A few chairshots knocks Show back, and he falls into the tacks. That just pisses him off because he gets up and chokeslams Flair and then finishes with the Cobra Clutch at 13:19. Much like Nixon going to China, it took Flair to bring back hardcore. Who would have thought that? The match was okay thanks to the Flair formula. **1/2
Final Thoughts: The show still sucks creatively, but they at least had a decent match in the main event. That's…something. I remember Vince saying on the "Rise and Fall of ECW" DVD that he finally took the hint about the direction that wrestling was taking when he saw the fans mercilessly berate Mabel and Savio Vega with ECW chants at the 1995 King of the Ring. Over ten years later, Big Show gets pelted with garbage, again in Philadelphia, and Vince's reaction is to stay the course and keep the WWE formula. The reality is he really didn't get it that night at King of the Ring. Vince Russo got it. Jim Ross might have gotten it. Vince was just lucky they were working for him. This is a show that is afraid to take any chances. It's all a Raw rehash with guys who couldn't stay over on the main show. I guess Vince's legendary "grapefruits" must have shrunken because after 11 years, he still just doesn't get it.
