411’s TNA Impact Report 07.13.06
Posted by Larry Csonka on 07.14.2006
Tonight’s show is brought to you by the following sponsor, “ECW, the competition that doesn’t need ratings help, but will take all the free advertising they can get!” Oh, and there is a PPV this Sunday!
LAST WEEK on Impact:
Moody Jack introduces the LAX
Match #1 Sonjay Dutt defeated Homicide via DQ
We see clips of last week and Cornette disbanding Team Canada. We see D'Amore confronting Cornette. Next week he will give them one last chance. All of Team Canada is mad at Eric Young, probably because he place din last week's WOTW. Tenay and West tell us about Rhino, Team 3D and Jay Lethal vs. Team Canada, and if team Canada loses, they are done. Also, the wrestler that gets a pin gets a future title shot.
Eric Young is here, and he thinks he will lose his job. Tenay says he could win a title shot. Eric is paranoid! Slick is here and he has photo shops of Larry bald! He enlists Eric to hand them out to the crowd. Team Canada comes out to yell at Eric Young.
We see clips of Shane Douglas training the Naturals more. Shane Douglas is a great man.
We see footage of Rhino at the Hardcore War show, proclaiming that he was staying with TNA. Really passionate stuff from Rhino, good deal. Lots of bleeping of naughty words, he's a potty mouth.
Match #2 Monty Brown defeated Kenny King via pin
JB is with JJ and Steiner. JJ says Sting told everyone that the worst thing for TNA would be him as Champion, and it came true. JJ realizes they cannot co-exist, and one of them has to go and it is Sting. He will start tonight, in the biggest main event in Impact history. Steiner says they will take them out, so that it will only be he and the fat bastard. JB says if he wins he gets the title shot. JJ tells him to shut up, and Steiner looks on as if he just realized he was in a match for a title shot. Let's say he was rather perplexed.
We get a new Paparazzi Productions movie. Nash talks about humiliations and body bags. Johnny Devine is now part of their clique. Tonight they pull something out that the fans haven't seen in 2-weeks! Shelley and Devine clap for Nash's genius!
Nash is now here in the Impact zone, and Devine and Shelley have a body bag in a grocery cart. They roll it in the ring, and Nash says they have captured OSAMA! He wants the reward, split unevenly three ways of course. They open it to reveal Sabin. Nash tells them to, "put the boots to him" and they do. Lethal is here to run them off. Nash bails and Lethal gets some nice kicks to clear the ring.
JB with Samoa Joe. Joe says earlier tonight he heard JB say Steiner may win, and that is foolish. You can plan all you want, but when he steps in the ring it all changes. Stinger, you were the man…you were Mr. Showtime…but I am now the man. Cage, the charismatic one…all the whining won't save you from me. And then Scott…Scotty I didn't forget what you did to me. I think about finding you for revenge every night. Scott, I beat you…Scott, it is about hurting and humiliating you. I will make your children cry…cry because you can't hold them anymore. Cage and Sting, I will ground and pound you…and then choke you out.
Cage and Sting shake and then hug before they celebrate. Steiner is backing and lays them out with the NWA title. Recliner on Cage! JOE IS HERE! He attacks Steiner and Sting and JJ brawl as well! Sting and JJ into the crowd and brawl as Joe and Steiner brawl up the ramp. We see Joe and Steiner backstage brawling like crazy, and see Cage alone in the ring with the NWA title and smiling. Sting applies the death-lock on JJ in the crowd as we go to the wrap up/build package for next week.
***Last Chance Match: Team 3-D & Rhino & Jay Lethal vs. Team Canada***
TNA iMpact Begins…NOW!:
We open the show with Rhino in the ring holding a velvet "belt bag.".
Rhino: "I had to make some decisions. Vince McMahon came knocking at my door, and offered me a job. I told him to KISS MY ASS! I AM T…N…A! So Vince McMahon starts up ECW again…and how can you start up ECW when you don't have their last TV and World champion on the roster? You see Vince, you can't do that. I am the only man to unify those titles. In this bag is a title I have had for 5-years in my cellar. In this bag is the title that proves I was the unified champion. I would pull out this title, but Vince would send his lawyers after me. I told Vince if he had the balls, come here and take it from me. **Crowd is hot for this** You know something…I will tell you one thing. I stand before you as the war machine! I will do something should have done 5-long years ago."
Rhino leaves the ring and goes backstage. Tenay and West wonder what he is doing, and we now see Rhino outside. He is tired of people living in the past. TNA has the heart and soul of ECW right here with him, Douglas, Raven and Team 3D, and that proves that ECW is dead. Now it is time to bury the past. We will have a little fire tonight. He is sick and tired of what Vince is doing to ECW. Long live TNA. **HE lights the title on fire in a trash can.** Rhino now makes a challenge ala Kurt Angle, 4, 6 or 8-sided ring, the result will be the same…GORE…GORE…GOOOOOOORE!
We get the intro and I just saw the MEEHAN clan marking out! GLORIOUS!
Earlier today Mitchell explained his reasoning for joining the James gang. Basically for the right price, Abyss is for sale and will do anything to anyone.
Abyss w/Jim Mitchell vs. Norman Smiley
Lock up and a headlock by Smiley. Abyss shoves him down, but he then dances, tries a roll up but no. Abyss gets the corner charge. Mitchell says DOOMSDAY, and a black hole slam later and Smiley is done.
Winner: Abyss via pin @ 1:00
SQUIZZASH!.
The James Gang comes to the ring to confront Abyss and Mitchell. BG is here to find out if what happened 2-weeks ago was a fluke, or can they count on them? They chant DX-REJECTS! YES! He will make a deal with the devil. Mitchell shakes on the deal, saying Abyss will fight with them at the PPV. BG tries to shake with Abyss, but gets scared. He keeps flexing and scaring him. BG says this will be Team 3D's personal Hi-Way to Hell. That sounds awful familiar.
We get a video with narration from Sting about Victory Road's #1 contender's match.
Back from commercial with another video package of him reconditioning the Naturals. He gave them back life, and this Sunday, they will face the Diamonds in the Rough for revenge. They will win and get on the road to the NWA Tag Titles.
We get a video package, narrated by Daniels and Styles on their success as a team and winning the NWA tag Titles. The tranny is named "Sirelda."
Kicks by Senshi to begin. Off the ropes and a head scissors by Clark. Gut buster by Senshi and a cover for 2. Senshi kicks the shit out of Clark, Clark fights back and gets a cross body for 2. Forearms by Clark, but knees by Senshi. STIFF kicks and a cover for 2 by Senshi. Sidekick by Senshi, kick to the head for 2 by Senshi. Chops to Clark, he charges but Clark slams him in the corner. Enziguri by Senshi. Running dropkick of doom! TOP ROPE DOUBLE STOMP FROM THE SOUL OF THE WARRIORS FATE finishes it.
Winner: Senshi via pin @ 2:39
Senshi is great, but he is in a totally different class than Clark so this was not pretty at times. Why doesn't Senshi have an X-Title defense at the PPV?
We get a video with narration from Scott Steiner about Victory Road's #1 contender's match.
Back from commercial with a video package hyping Victory Road this Sunday.
We get a video with narration from Christian Cage about Victory Road's #1 contender's match.
We get a new Paparazzi Productions video. They are so big that they are going global. Devine is his "production assistant, and he loves cameras. Shelley says their match is a non-title match, but that is all he could do on short notice. They only have one goal, to make Kevin Nash proud!
AJ and Alex begin. Rights by Alex, off the ropes and a shoulder block does nothing. Alex charges, and then eye pokes AJ. Wristlock and a counter by AJ. Tag to Daniels, boots to Alex and he works the arm. Jabs to Alex, off the ropes and Devine grabs Alex and they then get the advantage on Daniels. Leg lariat to Daniels and a tag to Devine. Rights to Daniels, tag to Alex and Alex with a running knee charge to Daniels and a cover for 2. Snap suplex by Devine gets 2. Elbows by Daniels, but Devine tries to keep control, but Daniels gets a tilt a whirl on Devine. Tag to AJ, who cleans house. Sweet flapjack style suplex on Devine gets a close 2. Alex in with an Enziguri on AJ to stop the clash. Alex has his camera, but the TRANNY IS HERE and stops him. Suplex/clothesline combo on Devine. They toss Alex. Clash on Devine and that is all.
Winners: AJ and Daniels via pin @ 4:25
AMW and Gail attack after the match. Gail dives onto the TRANNY as AMW and the Paparazzi beat down AJ and Daniels. They handcuff Daniels and AJ eats a superkick from Storm. They stand tall over the champions
Fun match here, and I really want to see more of Devine and Shelley, who with a few more matches, will get to be a better team and I dig that. Fun match overall.
We get a video package hyping Larry Z vs. Raven. Good promo stuff from them, and great clips of the war they have had and old clips of raven's scalping.
Slick Johnson hands out more pictures of a bald Larry Z. Larry is out and is pissed.
We get a video with narration from Samoa Joe about Victory Road's #1 contender's match.
Back from commercial with a video package hyping Victory Road this Sunday.
We now get a video package with Jeff Jarrett discussing his title win, and he says his hands are clean because Hebner and Zbyzko did what they did on their own. He also gives his thoughts on Joe, Cage, Steiner and Sting.
D'Amore is with Team Canada. He says if they win, they are still in the thick of things. He says they are winners, and then yells at Eric Young. Roode says they have it, and will stick it to Cornette! Eric Young is sad. Damn that D'Amore!
Last Chance Match: Team 3-D & Rhino & Jay Lethal vs. Team Canada (A1, Bobby Roode, Eric Young and Petey Williams) w/Coach D'Amore If Team Canada loses, they are officially done as a unit. Also, the man that gets the pin in this match gets a future title shot of his choice.
Roode and Devon to begin. Counter and rights by Devon. Flying clothesline off the ropes and a slam and head butt by Devon for 2. Tag to Ray, side slam/leg drop combo and a cover for 2. Knee by Roode, and a tag to Petey. Rights to Ray, boot but Ray sets him up top, Tree of woe and a USA nut stomp! Tag to Jay and they try to all take him out, he fights away but Petey gets a neck breaker as we head to commercial @ 2:00.
Back from commercial @ 5:28 with Roode beating on Jay. Jay manages an Enziguri and tags Rhino! Clotheslines for all by Rhino. Hip tosses, slams and corner gore to A1. Belly to belly on A1. Eric and D'Amore argue on the floor and Jay with a cross body on A1 for 2. Everyone is in now, and Petey tries the CD on Devon, countered into a 3D!!!! Roode in, but gets Bubba Bombed. A1 with a spinebuster on Ray, but Lay gets a roll up on A1 for 2. Hip toss/dropkick combo on A1, but D'Amore is in and nails Jay. Runt is out and gets the Acid Drop on D'Amore! He dives to the floor on Eric and Roode! A1 and Jay are left, Rhino sneaks in and GORE, GORE, GORE by Rhino on A1! Diving top rope head butt by Jay and that is all!
Winner: Team 3-D & Rhino & Jay Lethal via pin @ 8:45
Fine little match that really heated up at the end when they did the teases and finishes all in the sequence, I am a sucker for that.
Eric Young is at the announce booth and appears to be totally joyful and yells I AM FREE!
We get the normal well-put together closing/hype video.
Final Impact Thoughts: First of all they did an excellent job of hyping Victory Road. Great video packages, especially the ones for the #1 contenders match; I really liked those as well as the one with Jarrett discussing that match as well as his title win. They made sure to have some videos for other matches, the tag title match as well as Larry vs. Raven. They shot an angle with the James Gang to have their match as well. They also announced 2-more matches for the PPV so all if all, they did great there. Rhino's promo was an excellently executed promo, very passionate, but I still have issues with them talking so much about, you know, another company when TV time is so precious. Abyss' squash was just that, Senshi vs. Clark was bad due to Clark, the tag match with AJ and Daniels vs. The Paparazzi was solid, and had a good angle afterwards. The closing tag was very fun, and Team Canada is dead and Eric Young is free. We also have Jay Lethal with a title shot that he hopefully cashes in at the PPV against Senshi. Very strong show overall.
Don't forget to send your thoughts on the show to me for the 3R's next week!
