411’s OVW TV Report 7.15.06

We are welcomed, as we usually are by Armando Alejandro Estrada!

Estrada: Hola! Everybody listen…haha…to me. Welcome to the Spanish Version of OVW TV. I am your host, Big Lalo, let’s get to the news.

Armando goes down the next card for the Summer Sizzler Series, whose results we will likely never know. Jerry Lawler, Rob Conway, and Eugene are all expected to be there. All of a sudden, ODB, one of OVW’s newest women, appear with what looks like a replica of the WWE’s Women’s Championship.

ODB: Ahem…

Estrada: Hey! What do you think you’re doing? This is my show! The dictator! Armandooooooooooooo Alejandroooooooooooo Estrrr…

ODB: You listen to me. I am…the O-D-B. And I am the new, women’s champ. I just came back from a grueling tournament in Rio de Janiero, in Brazil. And I want to defend my new championship against any of you wannabe divas. So you…make it happen.

Estrada: Ahhhh…the ODB, you ask, you shall receive. July 28th, Six Flags. Brought to you by me Aramandoooooooooooooo Alejandrooooooooooooooo Estrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrada!……Card subject to change. *Mic falls apart* Cheap mic.

“Let the bodies hit the floor!”

We’re back with Miz and Ronnie on Miz TV.

Miz: There’s a new Miz in OVW, I’m done with the funny haha stuff. It’s a determined and focused Miz. And tonight, Elijah Burke, you think you’re a star. Not only am I going to beat you, I’m going to humiliate you because nobody beats The Miz. Hoo—rah!

The Miz w/ Ronnie Jona vs. Elijah Burke

Burke comes out to Living in America wearing the stars and stripes with half naked women wearing just stars and stripes. Interesting.

Belly to back takedown by Miz into a headlock. Burke works his way up. Miz locks another headlock. Burke reverses out if it and into his own headlock. Miz tosses him down. Hoo-rah. Miz ducks the lockup and grabs him from behind. Burke reverses and takes him down. Mat wrestling at its finest by Burke. Burke works on the left arm. Miz with a knee to the gut. Miz with a fist. Charges to the corner but nobody is home. Miz backs off in the ropes. Miz goes for a haymaker but blocked by Burke. Burke off the ropes and nails a shoulder tackle. The cover gets 2. Burke slams Miz’s head into the corner. HUGE CHOP BY BURKE ECHOS ACROSS THE ARENA! And again but not so loud. Irish whip reversed by Miz. Burke climbs the top rope and flying body press takes down Miz. Ronnie on the apron distracts Burke. Miz nails him from behind. Neckbreaker by Miz. The cover gets 2. Another cover gets 2.

Miz begins to club Burke across the head. Sitting dropkick by Miz gets 2. Snapmare into a headlock by Burke. Burke works his way out of it. Miz with a hair takedown back into a headlock. Burke out of it again. Burke off the ropes and flips over Miz with a rollup 1…2..No! Close! Big elbow by The Miz knocks Burke down. The cover gets 2. Another headlock by Miz. Burke to his feet. Elbows out of it. Now a big right. They exchange rights. Miz gets the advantage. Does a dance. Burke ducks under the right. Now Burke with a series of rights. Burke does a dance and NAILS Miz. Burke with a reverse atomic drop and a backdrop. Flying forearm off the ropes by Burke. The cover. 1…2..No!

Burke is fired up. Elbow to the head and another. About 6 more. Burke dances and winds up and nails Miz. Burke points to the crowd. Burke is climbing the top rope. Ronnie pulls on the ropes and Burke crashes HARD! Miz with the cover 1…2..3!

Winner- The Miz

After the match, Miz hawks a big lugie in the eyes of Elijah Burke. After Miz leaves, Burke wants the mic.

Burke: Miz! Get out here NOW! I want you! I want you Miz and I want that slut Ronnie Jona in a handicap match. Now, tomorrow, next week, next month, I want you!

We go back to the woods where some weird guy is sitting by a fire and talking with a hardly audible Cajun accent.

Mystery guy: See there mama. The storm done passed us by. Settle back down out here now. You can hear little birdies singing to me. Uh huh. Problem though mama. The storm passed. The storm’s inside my soul mama. It gets stronger and stronger mama, just like a tornado. All I think about is those who made fun of me mama. I wanted to play with them. Just like you told me mama. Jacob, someday, everybody will have to pay. That’s what you told me mama. That day mama, that day’s coming. It’s coming soon mama. Everybody’s gonna pay. It’s comin mama. It’s comin.

He stabs a knife into the stump he was sitting on and walks off with an ax.

Raul vs. Cody Runnels

They lock up. Raul grabs him from behind. Runnels reverses it and takes him down to the mat. Raul reverses out of it and armlocks him. Runnels with a drop toe hold into a headlock. Raul to his feet. Sends Runnels to the ropes. Shoulder tackle by Runnels gets 2. Runnels with a headlock. Raul puts him into the corner and a shoulder to the gut. Runnels off the ropes with a body press gets 2. Raul with a knee lift. Raul sends Cody to theropes. Arm drag takedown. Hiptoss. The cover gets 2. Sleeperhold by Runnels but Raul drops out of it and kicks Runnels in the jaw. Headlock by Raul and begins elbowing the back of his head. Raul with a snapmare and drops a fist across the throat of Runnels. The cover 1…2..No!

Raul with a chin lock. Runnels elbows out of it. Raul with a snap hair takedown. Raul off the ropes but misses a double axe handle. Runnels blocks a couple fists. Runnels goes for an elbow but looks at his fist and nails him across the jaw. Scoop slam by Runnels. Runnels with a running knee drop. Runnels grabs him from behind and locks in a sleeperhold! Raul drops down. Ref drops his arm. 1…2…3! He’s asleep!

Winner- Cody Runnels

How long has it been since we saw someone fall asleep from the sleeper??? Cody wakes him up with a slap to the back.

Maria is in the back after the break with Cody Runnels.

Maria: Hi I’m Maria and I’m back here with Cody. Cody first off, congratulations on your match. And congratulations on all the ladies. I hear you’re getting emails and letters all over. But where did you get the sleeper hold from?

Runnels: Uh, the sleeperhold Verne Gagne passed it down to Greg Gagne who passed it down to me. It’s an old wrestling family. I’m big on families.

Maria: That’s really good. I also want to know, there’s rumors going around that your Dusty Rhodes’ son. So, are you Dusty Rhode’s son?

Kasey James walks by and looks at Runnels and laughs as he walks off. Maria asks again but Roadkill pops out of a doorway and starts choking James! Idol Stevens comes from behind and nails Roadkill! Cody Runnels comes over and nails Kasey James! Idol tries to drag James back. Runnels tends to Roadkill.

We get a video that has been rated “H” for “Hoodie” from the OVW Southern Tag Champs, Shad Gaspard and The Neighborhoodie. It’s to Eye of the Tiger basically and shows Hoodie and Gaspard dancing around and showing their grillz. One of em put their face on a Wheaties Box.

Stage 1: Endurance

Gaspard is chasing a police officer with a bat out of the woods. Hoodie comes across the screen and tackles him as they both stomp on him. Hoodie wears his hat.

Stage 2: Courage

Hoodie is walking out of a Chevron Gas Station in front of a police officer. He looks at his tag title and slaps the coffee out of the officer’s hand and takes off running.

Strength

Gaspard is lifting weights with a horrible smile on his face. We find out he’s lifting a woman.

Agility

The Neighborhoodie is running out of a Steak N Shake parking lot. I’ve ate there! He jumps a chain link fence with the previous cop chasing him. The cops lands on top of the gate and the Hoodie runs away.

Intensity

Gaspard kicks a guy in the head who was at an ATM.

Speed

Gaspard and Hoodie are laughing. as they walk into a building and beat the crap out of an attendent and take the money out of the cash register.

Ferocity

Gaspard is throwing punches at the cop that was chasing The Hoodie.

Ya’ll Ready For The Champs?

Deuce & Domino w/ Cherry vs. Shawn Spears & Pat Buck

Domino and Spears in first. Domino with a chest butt and a shove. They lock up. Domino with a headlock. Spears pushes him to the ropes. Domino with a shoulder tackle. Drop toe hold by Spears. Hiptoss by Spears. Spears nails Domino a few times. Domino with a big elbow. Tag to Deuce. Big dropkick from Spears. Tag to Pat Buck. Buck in and covers barely gets 2. Buck grabs Deuce. Sends him to the ropes. Deuce holds on and Buck charges. Deuce sends him through the ropes but Buck holds on. Buck is going up top. Deuce is staggering. Buck is distracted by the crowd and Deuce slams him off the top rope. Buck rolls around and tags in Spears. Deuce catches Spears with a big uppercut. Tag to Domino. Spears up firing on Domino. They trade blows. Spears ducks a clotheline and slams down Spears. The cover gets 2. Buck breaks the pin.

Tag to Deuce. Deuce with a big knee. Deuce with another knee to the nose. Deuce pulls out his comb. And he does his little shimmy and combs his hair. Deuce LIFTS SPEARS UP BY HIS LEG! HOLDS HIM UP AND FLIPS HIM OVER HIS HEAD! WOW! Spears twists around in pain. The cover 1…Buck breaks the pin again. Deuce grabs Spears and tags in Domino. Domino is climbing. OH! Domino with a double axe handle as Deuce brings him down. Domino with a big kick. And some more. The cover 1..2..No!

Tag back to Deuce. Big kick to the ribs of Spears. Deuce with a fist. Spears trying to fight back but Deuce fires back. Deuce brings Spears up for a suplex but Spears wiggles out of it and makes the tag to Pat Buck! Buck in and leaps over Deuce and kicks him in the gut. Buck with an atomic drop. In comes Domino and big uppercut on Domino. Buck with an uppercut on Deuce. Buck sends Deuce to the ropes. Reversed by Deuce and sends Pat Buck right into a HUGE clotheline from Domino! Deuce kicks Spears out of the ring. Domino holds Buck by the head. Deuce off the ropes a couple of times and Deuce drills a kick right into the nose of Pat Buck and he’s out cold. The cover 1…2…3!

Winner- Deuce & Domino

Domino has the mic.

Domino: OH! Last week, right here on TV, we beat the tag team champions. Neighborhoodie and Shad Gaspard, and to me, that makes us the #1 contendors. OH! July 28th, Six Flags, who they going to defend them against Deuce?

Deuce: They’re going to defend them against us. We cracked you once. We cracked you again. You wanna rumble. Deuce goes crazy as Domino drags him off.

TJ Dalton vs. Charles “The Hammer” Evans

Dalton grabs Hammer from behind but an elbow nails Dalton. Dalton ducks a clotheline. Off the ropes but Evans catches him and tosses him over his head. Big elbow by Evans. Evans brings him in but he lands on his feet. Dalton with a forearm staggers Evans. Dalton off the ropes with another flying forearm. Dalton off the ropes again but is nailed by a huge clotheline that takes his head off. Evans goes crazy and starts hammering Dalton’s back. Evans with a suplex. Evans with a hard Irish Whip. Another hard Irish Whip on Dalton knocks him odwn. Evans lifts him up for another snap suplex. Evans lifts Dalton up over his shoulder. BIG hammer slam by Evans kills Dalton for 3.

Winner- Charles “The Hammer” Evans

C.M. Punk -c- vs. Seth Skyfire w/ Shelley -c- (OVW Heavyweight Championship)

They lock up. Punk with a takedown and a front headlock by Punk. They roll around. Skyfire with a headlock now. Skyfire with a rolling takedown and a quick cover gets 1. They lock up hands for a test of strength. Punk pins Skyfire’s shoulder to the mat for two. Skyfire lifts his shoulder up off the mat. Again Punk puts his shoulder down. Skyfire bridges up. They remain locked up. Skyfire kicks a fist off of him and drags him down off the top rope. Skyfire with a cover 1…2…No! Skyfire with an armlock now. Punk with a takedown and a lot of technical wrestling from both men on the mat. Skyfire with a takedown and they break it off. They stare down.

They lockup again but Punk with a takedown and Punk locks in both legs from behind. Skyfire squirms around but Punk slams his back but Skyfire manages to get out of it. They lock up again. Punk with a side headlock. Skyfire sends him to the ropes but Punk with a shoulder tackle. Punk to the ropes. Skyfire goes under Punk. Punk off the other rope and is nailed by a dropkick. Skyfire with a cover draws 2.

Skyfire with a forearm. Punk fires back with an uppercut. Punk with a headbutt to the gut. Punk off the ropes but Skyfire tosses him through the middle rope. Skyfire with a baseball slide but Punk catches his legs. Skyfire twists around and RANA ON THE OUTSIDE! BOTH MEN DOWN ON THE OUTSIDE AND WE GO TO BREAK!

We’re back from the break and Skyfire is nailing a series of punches on Punk. Skyfire lifts him up and tires to slam Punk’s head into the turnbuckle but Punk puts a boot up and slams Skyfire’s head instead. Punk with some chops. Skyfire with a boot to the gut. Punk with the Irish whip to the corner on Skyfire. Skyfire leaps up on a charging Punk’s shoulders. Punk has him. Skyfire rolls forward and the rollup! 1…2…No! Punk rolls around and reverses the pin! 1…2…No! Skyfire up but Punk takes him down. Punk again locks in Skyfire’s knees. Punk pulls Skyfire’s arm back and basically surfboard’s him. Now Punk rolls onto his back and lifts Skyfire up in the air on his knees! Ouch! Skyfire yells in pain. Punk falls back a bit more and Skyfire’s shoulders are on the mat! 1….2….NO! Skyfire rolls around but Punk keeps the move locked in! Now he breaks it and stretches Skyfire with a boot to the back. Punk with a cover 1…2..NO!

Punk with a chinlock. Skyfire works his way out of it. Skyfire punches out of it. Skyfire off the ropes but Punk trips him and covers him 1…2…No! Skyfire slides out of it and standing moonsault on Punk’s back! Skyfire with the cover 1…2..NO! CLOSE! Skyfire nails Punk in the corner. Sends him to the ropes. Skyfire misses a roundhouse kick. Punk lifts up Skyfire into a crucifix type move. Punk looks pissed and intense! Punk on his feet with Skyfire on his back in the middle of the ring. Mixed reaction from the crowd. Punk lets him go and stomps on Skyfire. The cover by Punk gets 2. Irish whip by Punk reversed by Skyfire. Skyfire comes in but Punk puts up a boot. Skyfire stops and grabs the boot. Punk moves around and Skyfire ducks a chop and lands one of his own. Ducks another chop and lands another chop. Punk misses another chop and forearms and fists from Skyfire. Skyfire sends Punk to the ropes reversed by Punk. Skyfire off the ropes with a flying forearm and a matrix dropkick! Skyfire sends him across the ring. Puts his head down. Punk tries to roll him up but Skyfire up and double sit down dropkick on Punk! Skyfire with the cover 1….2…..NO!

Skyfire covers again for a short 2. Crowd duel chanting for both men. Irish whip by Skyfire. Skyfire is caught by Punk and Punk rolls around the ropes and locks in the Anaconda Vice in the ropes! The ref counts and breaks the hold. Punk leaps over the ropes but Skyfire out of the way and to the corner. Punk lands on his feet and charges at Skyfire. Skyfire leaps onto the top rope AND SPINNING HEEL KICK BY SKYFIRE OFF THE TOP ROPE! THE COVER 1…2….NO!

Skyfire dances around. Measures Punk up. Punk is on his feet. Punk ducks an Inzuguri from Skyfire. Punk lifts Skyfire up by the neck and Skyfire hiptosses him off! Skyfire up but Punk is up! Chop…Chop…Skyfire ducks the backchop! ROLLUP BY SETH SKYFIRE! 1…2…NO! BARELY! SKYFIRE OFF THE ROPES! PUNK CATCHES HIM ON HIS SHOULDERS! PUNK TRIES TO LOCK IN THE ANACONDA VICE! AND HE’S GOT IT! RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! SKYFIRE REACHING FOR THE ROPES! SKYFIRE ROLLS HIM OVER AND PINS PUNK’S SHOULDERS TO THE MAT! 1….2…..NO! PUNK ROLLS BACK AROUND AND KEEPS THE VICE LOCKED IN! SKYFIRE IS YELLING IN PAIN! HE ACTS LIKE HE IS GOING TO TAP! PUNK IS REALLY APPLYING PRESSURE! SKYFIRE MANAGES TO PUT A LEG SCISSORS ACROSS PUNK’S NECK BUT HE’S STILL GOT THE VICE LOCKED IN! SKYFIRE LEGS GO AND THE VICE IS STILL IN! PUNK TO HIS KNEES WITH THE VICE STILL LOCKED IN! SKYFIRE IS UP TO HIS FEET! SKYFIRE WITH A FIST TO THE GUT BUT PUNK HOLDS ON AND THE VICE IS STILL IN TACT! SKYFIRE IS TAPPING!

Winner and STILL OVW Heavyweight Champion- C.M. Punk

Punk is extending his hand in the center of the ring to Skyfire. Skyfire looks at him and is skeptical. Skyfire shakes his hand and they hug and point at each other. Skyfire leaves and Punk celebrates a bit in the ring but here comes Shad Gaspard and The Neighborhoodie out of nowhere and they are attacking Punk! Skyfire comes back and chases them both out of the ring!