411's WWE Smackdown Report 9.01.06
Posted by John Nocero on 09.01.2006
Contract signed for the King B-ANIMAL rematch.
From: The Sovereign Center, Reading PA Your Hosts: Michael Cole and John Bradshaw Layfield
The show opens with highlights from last week's debacle, subtitled Worst Feud Ever. Out comes Rey Rey in a bad looking grey mask for some reason. He apologizes for not being himself. That explains the gay mask. He says that last week was the lowest in his pro career. He doesn't understand it and doesn't know if he wants to, but feels Vickie Guerrero owes him an explanation. Here comes Los Guerrero Senorita. Vickie says it is time to move on and won't grieve for the rest of her life. It is time to focus on herself. She says Eddie thought of Rey Rey as a brother, but she thinks of him as an insignificant chapter in her past. She is the new business manager of Los Guerrero bastardo, oh I'm sorry, Chavito. The crowd chants "Eddie" and she slaps Rey Rey, who feigns tears. Cole says Rey Rey has to be heartbroken. I am. Los Guerreros, version 2.0 convene on the ramp.
Hype for the contract signing: King B vs. THE ANIMAL
KK and Finlay are shown in the back, with KK asking for a title shot at the US strap. GM Teddy Long makes the match for tonight and wants to add some sumptin sumptin to spice things up.
Next the debut of The Miz...the wrestling gods hate me.
Hype for the new WWE Magazine special edition with Iron Sheik on the inside flap cover. I love the Sheik. In his honor, bali bali.
The Miz vs. The Buffalo
I hate this guy. JBL says he looked like The Red Rooster and that guy sucked. Funny. Here comes The Buffalo. Yip yip yip. Miz screams hoorah in Buffalo's face, but Tatanka tosses Miz to the buckle and ends up having words with Ref Charles Robinson. Miz with an armdrag and into the robot for some reason. I'm gonna throw up. Miz works the arm and Buffalo whipped across the ring and drops Miz with a chop. And another. Buffalo works the left arm and drives his shoulder into Miz. But Miz shows life and runs Buffalo into the steal post. Miz struggled to pick up Buffalo, and sloppily drops him for a near fall. They trade blows and Miz gets backdropped. Buffalo into the war dance, two chops and tomahawk sends him down. Can Buffalos fly? Miz rolls outside the bottom rope. We'll never know. Two more chops on the outside. Miz shoves the ref into the Buffalo and rakes the eyes, then pins him with his feet on the ropes.
Winner: The Miz 5:25
Coming up..the US Title FIGHT…
"The Marine" trailer…in theaters October 13..I missed it. I was making out with my wife.
Three Way Dance (aka "Triple Threat") for the US Title: KK vs. Finlay vs. Lashley
Before the match, GM Long makes it the triple threat. We're underway. Lashley feigns alliances with KK and knocks him over the top rope. Finlay attacks Lashley from behind and begins to smash him. KK back in trying to form an alliance with Finlay. KK with a boot to the lower abs of Lashley. They both toss Lashley through the buckles to the post. KK kicks Finlay low and throws him to the post. Cheater. KK with a swanton on Lashley but Finlay breaks it up. Finlay with a boston crab on KK but Lashley boots Finlay in the choppers. Huge clothesline to KK by the powerhouse. Finlay picks his spot and drops Lashley. Lashley comes back and clothesline Finlay over the top rope. Lashley tosses KK back in. Suplex to KK from outside by Lashley and again Finlay breaks up the count. Lashley press-slams Finlay and drops him on his knee. KK takes advantage of the opening. They brawl to the outside and sick suplex by Lashley, holding KK up in Goldberg-esque fashion as we go to commercial break. The little bastard peeps out from under the ring. I love that little guy. Finish comes as Lashley was going to pin Finlay after a powerslam, but KK jumps on Lashley, surprises and gets a handful of tights for three! Glad to see him getting heat back after getting bitched Monday night. I enjoyed that!!
Winner: AND NEW US CHAMP..MISTER KENNEDY…..KENNEDY! 18:03 approximate
Hype again for the contract signing….
We return from commercial with the RAW Rebound..recapping Edge-John Cena highlights…and MVP is shown making his way to the arena with some slutty whores.
Vito vs. William Regal
Regal gets on the stick pre-match and reviews his knighting. Regal says Vito isn't the toughest man to wear a dress but a bloody disgrace. Regal with a knee and a shoulderblock off the ropes. Regal with a series of fake looking knees. Dude, you were nowhere near Vito's head. Regal drops the shin across Vito's neck. Regal kicks Vito in his bare ass. Regal with an elbow and two covers, but gets two each time. Vito flashes Regal and goes for oral sex, but Regal rolls out. And STAY OUT! .
Winner: Vito by countout 2:52
More hype for the contract signing. Dude, King B and THE ANIMAL in the ring at the same time. No fucking way..
Jimmy Wang Yang did another vignette about being a redneck with rib sauce on his mouth..
MVP did an interview with Cole. He said he could beat anyone on the SMACKDOWN! roster but said until Long offers him enough money, he's leaving.
Contract signing..blah blah..
Paul London and Brian Kendrick vs. The Pitbulls
Okay I love the fucking Pitbulls. Glad Kash's 30 days are up. Pitbulls attack before the bell. Kendrick and London reverse doubleteam whips into each other and then into a double dropkick on the Bulls. London with a leap off the top into a mule kick on Kash's back that gets two. Noble interferes on the outside but London kicks him in the chest with both feet. Noble is back and yanks London out, and puts boots to the back. Kash with a quick release suplex, Dynamite Kid-ish. JBL has me laughing by saying MVP is one of the Freebird's children. Doubleteam ground and pound on London. Noble with a vicious kick to London's temple as he rests on the top rope. More brawling until London hot tags. Kendrick in and throws a series of kicks on both Bulls. Finish has Kash on the top ready for Noble to whip him in, but London tosses Kash off the top. It's Kendrick with a rollup and three. Post match sees an attack by the Teacher's Pets..double brainbuster and double DDT. The Pitbulls stare at Bobby Eaton's illegitimate son and Idol Stevens
Winners: London and Kendrick 5:39
Another vignette, he'll find ya…Boogey Boogey Boogey!
King B and THE ANIMAL Contract Signing
Long in the ring for the irrevocable contract signing. The championship will be on the line next week. Big pop for THE ANIMAL. He's in a suit. King B says to all of his loyal subjects, this rematch is nothing more than an shaum..wait sham. Calls ANIMAL a fraud and says he couldn't beat him at the SummerSlam games. So funny him talking with a faux British accent. King B interrupts ANIMAL as he tries to speak. ANIMAL says King B never beat him for the gold. King B doesn't care and goes off on some wild tangent, then signs the contract. ANIMAL takes it and signs as King B blows kisses to the crowd like Apollo Creed. King B swings and misses and ANIMAL gives a spinebuster into the table..which doesn't break!! Tries it again and gets it to snap! Funny ending.
Final Thoughts: Why is it that every other week I love this show? Liked the Hardy-Helms and tag matches. The table not breaking was icing, bitches.
