411’s OVW/HWA Recap Extravaganza 11.05.06

Hello everybody, and welcome to Week 5 of the OVW/HWA Recap Extravaganza! I am your party host Steve Cook, and this week we’ve got a lot of matches, a lot of titles on the line, and a lot of seafood to eat. So let’s get it started!

Ohio Valley Wrestling

Backstage, Cody Runnels & Shawn Spears run into Bad Company. Sean Osbourne presents them with the receipt for the flowers that Cherry received a couple weeks ago. There will be a tag team title match later tonight, but which two members of Bad Company will it be?

Dean “King of the” Hill & Kenny “Starmaker” Bolin run down today’s card.

Sosay is in the ring with TJ Dalton, who will be Jack Bull’s opponent today. Bull must defeat Dalton in 51.9 seconds to beat Joey Mercury’s challenge. Speaking of the devil, Joey Mercury comes out with new attire. Well, I think it’s new.

Match 1: “Fearless” Jack Bull vs. TJ Dalton

Bull walks out with cigarette in mouth and flask in hand. He goes over to the concession stand and buys a hot dog. Well, now he’s going backstage. Dalton looks for him backstage…Bull comes back in through a side door. The referee calls for the bell…wait a minute, where’s Dalton? Well, he just got counted out in 31.7 seconds! Joey Mercury is not impressed by this, but Bull spits up a hot dog while remembering that he gets something in return. Next week, it will be Jack Bull vs. Joey Mercury in a…drinking contest? That won’t help Mercury’s chances of passing a Wellness test.

Deuce & Domino are not happy about not getting a title shot tonight. Deuce blames Cherry as usual. Domino says she’s stupid. Awwwwwww.

Match 2: Paul Burchill vs. Jason Bates

Burchill doesn’t waste any time in this one, attacking Bates right at the bell. European uppercut! I was wondering if somebody was going to make the “Psycho” reference about Bates, and Bolin doesn’t let me down. In the meantime, Burchill beats Bates down for the duration of the match. He’s pretty upset these days. To be fair, Bates did have one offensive move. Nice front dropkick by Burchill. CURB STOMP~! That’s all she wrote for Mr. Bates.

A crying Cherry runs into Beth Phoenix, who implores her to look at the bright side…she doesn’t have to face her this week. Good point. Beth thinks she has the night off, but Cherry heard about a gauntlet match tonight for the women’s title. Beth is not happy with Danny Davis, just like most women in the Kentuckiana area. He’s not very popular with the ladies, or so I hear.

Wick’s Pizza Party Zone!

OVW TV Title Match: Champion Devon Driscoll vs. Charles “The Hammer” Evans

One would assume this would be Evans’ last shot at the championship, and he makes the most of it right from the beginning. Bolin talks about how he has Evans eating the grilled fish at the Ocean Side Seafood Restaurant. Less carbs, you know. Hill tries to top Bolin with the plugs by mentioning how Driscoll could use a trip to Family Care Chriopractic. He just might at this rate. Driscoll’s attempted shoulderblock doesn’t work at all. Here’s El Aero Fuego looking on…Driscoll almost capitalized with a rollup, but Evans kicks out and hits a Baldo Bomb for 3! We’ve got a new OVW TV Champ thanks to Ocean Side Seafood! Something tells me that Evans and the masked man will be meeting in the ring sooner rather than later.

Chet the Jet walks out with all sorts of tape on the body. He still wants some more of Jacob Duncan for some crazy reason. Tonight? That’s probably not a good idea.

OVW Title Match: Champion Jacob Duncan vs. Chet the Jet

Duncan’s entrance music is awesome. Dean Hill announces that Chet has not been cleared by the doctor, and OVW will not be held responsible if he gets hurt, it’s non-sanctioned but the title will be on the line. Duncan pounds away on Chet’s various injuries and rips off some of the tape. Chet fights back with punches, but one punch from Duncan has the same effect as about 5 of Chet’s. Punches to the back by Duncan. Chet fights back, but Duncan puts him in a bear hug. Chet tries to fight out, but Duncan drives him into the corner. Shoulderblocks by Duncan. He misses a big boot and crotches himself on the top rope. Chet runs right into a big boot by Duncan, and this one’s just about over. Wheelbarrow slam and it’s on to the next one. Why is the ring announcer always so sad when Duncan wins?

Match 5: Steve Lewington vs. Elijah Burke

This is a rematch from last week, when Burke defeated Lewington by controversial means. Burke with a headlock, off the ropes, big shoulderblock, off the ropes, slam by Lewington, another slam, dropkick by Lewington, Burke goes outside, gets the advantage when he comes in, but Lewington no-sells the slam and gorilla presses Burke. Who is he, Ultimate Warrior? Burke tries his pin from last week, but Lewington kicks out. He blocks an atomic drop and clotheslines Burke for 2. Burke pokes Lewington in the eyes, short clothesline by Burke gets 2. Dean Hill claims Kenny Bolin lives in a fantasy world while Lewington & Burke go at it in the corner. Burke kicks Lewington around while Bolin forgets Charles Evans’s name. Lewington keeps knocking Burke down, off the ropes, Lewington hits a powerslam for a 3 count! Well, it was kind of a three count. Kinda debatable if you ask me.

Kelly Kelly is all excited about her match tonight…well, she was until Beth Phoenix knocked her out. Whoops!

OVW Women’s Title Gauntlet

Champion Beth Phoenix & Roni Jonah start us off. Roni is a rock star, and she got rocked with a pinfall in about 5 seconds. Ouch. Melody is next and receives similar treatment. Michinoku Driver finishes her. Ariel is next, and Beth does all she can to avoid her before Ariel jumps up and tries to beat her…Beth hits a variation of the Sky High to finish her. Jennie Mae comes out, apparently she’s a farm girl and she actually gets some offense on Beth before missing a top rope dropkick and getting pinned. ODB is all over Beth after jumping in the ring and actually gets a near fall. Chops on the chest of Phoenix, shoulderblocks in the corner, ODB misses a corner charge and Beth uses the ropes to pin her. Katie Lee is next, she actually won the costume contest last week and she hits a Northern Lights suplex for 2. Backbreaker gets 2. Beth picks her up for a slam, Katie slips out and hits a neckbreaker on the knee to pin Beth Phoenix! Serena is the last entrant, she dropkicks Katie for two. Serena’s attempted monkey flip does not work, but a clothesline does, as does an elbow, some kicks and another clothesline. Serena motions for a spear, but Beth whacks her with the women’s title belt while Katie distracts the referee. Neckbreaker to the knee finishes it, and Katie Lee is the new OVW Women’s Champion! Well, WWE’s going to need a new redhead once Lita leaves. Bolin’s going to take her down to Ocean Side Seafood…I tell you what, if he can pull that off I’d be impressed.

OVW Southern Tag Team Title match: Champions Cody Runnels & Shawn Spears vs. Bad Company

Sean Osbourne & Mike Kruel end up being the two members of Bad Company in the match after much confusion. It doesn’t take much to confuse a Runnels, that’s for sure. Dean Hill claims that they were passing around brass knucks, but I didn’t see anything like that. Spears gets the advantage on Kruel early, dobule hip toss to him, one for Osbourne, slam from Runnels to Osbourne. Runnels & Osbourne the legal men now, tag to Kruel, Runnels punches away on him, double russian leg sweep gets 2. Eddie Kraven trips Runnels and changes the momentum of the match. Tag to Spears, atomic drop, Spears beats up both guys, Runnels cross bodies both, double dropkicks, Kraven gets hit, Kruel clotheslined over the top, Osbourne hits Runnels with the knucks but the ref is too busy looking at people fighting on the floor, Spears crucifixes Osbourne for 3! Bad Company starts beating down Runnels & Spears until High Dosage comes down and chases them out of there. Here comes Deuce & Domino! Now they beat down Runnels & Spears! Cherry stops Deuce from finishing off Spears with the “Crack in the Mouth”…Deuce pushes her out of the way! They deliver the move anyway as we go off the air!

HWA Adrenaline

Your hosts are Chris Kurtis, Hooks & Amanda Fire.

Match 1: Jay Phoenix vs. Pepper Parks

The Scottish Phoenix is probably not related to Beth Phoenix, if I had to guess. Lots of stalling to start, series of go-behinds, Parks begs off. Shoulderblock by Phoenix, off the ropes, back and forth, shoulderblock by Parks, off the ropes, hip toss by Phoenix, he clotheslines Parks over the top rope. Parks pulls Phoenix outside the ring and throws him into the rail. Back into the ring, Parks keeps the advantage for awhile until Phoenix comes back with a knee lift and a clothesline for 2. Parks fights back with chops and punches, off the ropes, Phoenix with a leaping neckbreaker for 2. Off the second rope, variation of the Blockbuster gets 2. Parks hits the collar popper for the three count, but Jay Phoenix did a pretty nice job there. Insider lingo~!

Match 2: Foreign Intelligence vs. The Hippies vs. The GP Code vs. The Mavericks

Oh shit, crazy 8-way time! It’ll be fun, but I won’t be able to call most of it. Cody Hawk provides guest commentary for the match. Pretty thick-ass action according to Mr. Hawk. The Mavericks win the match, but Foreign Intelligence beat them down with chairs afterwards. Chris Carnage comes down and breaks that all up.

Three of the Five Most Wanted come down to the ring and threaten to deport people. Apparently they beat up Matt Stryker backstage, so he won’t be having his match. Well, I’m not a big Stryker fan so I’ll survive. The announcers spend their time talking about women’s underwear. The GP Code clear the ring, thankfully. Well, that was all pretty pointless.

Somebody I don’t recognize cuts a promo on Gotti. It’s a nice promo, but I have no idea who this is.

HWA Title Match: Champion Chad Collyer vs. Dick Rick

Rick’s HWA career is on the line against Collyer’s title, and Rick goes right after Collyer, slamming him for a 2 count. Rick gets crotched on the top rope, gets clotheslined into the ring and then gets clotheslined out. Vertical suplex by Collyer, a gutwrench gets 2. Rick gets the advantage on Collyer, clothesline gets a 2 count. Chops by Collyer get him back in it, back body drop. Back suplex by Rick gets 2. Collyer fights back and puts Dick in the Texas Cloverleaf! Rick reaches the ropes, Collyer tries a german suplex but Rick breaks it up with a kick to the balls. He takes too much time going up top, Collyer meets him up there and hits a double underhook suplex off the top rope! Collyer misses a diving headbutt, and the Crew comes down to ringside…Callihan “accidentally” throws the brass knucks to Collyer, Collyer knocks out Rick & Pepper Parks, he hits a front senton on Rick and gets the 3 count! Collyer retains the title and Dick Rick is outta here! The fans wish him farewell as we end this show!

Final Thoughts: OVW really manages to cram a lot of stuff into one hour of programming. But they do manage to keep most of their storylines going on uninterrupted, which is a lot more than I can say for HWA. What happened to that Dr. Bones vs. Tack match they were hyping last week? It’s strange. All in all, not a bad two hours, but it probably needed more Katie Lee.

Until next week, keep your stick on the ice.