The RAWtopsy - 11.20.06
Posted by J.D. Dunn on 11.20.2006
It's like homoerotic gang warfare.
Be sure to check out my Blog Exclusive review of the Spider-Man TPB of The Death of Jean DeWolff and send feedback. I'm kicking around the idea of comics reviews and I'm curious what you all think.
The Cenanites come down to start Survivor Series early. Edge & the Edgetones interrupt, even though they're not their opponents. Randy tries to cut a promo, but Ric Flair and his Channel Ocho news team interrupt him. Of course, that brings out the Spirit Squad and…well, just the Spirit Squad. Wait, there's some left. SDXE comes out to start the Royal Rumble RIGHT NOW! Hunter has to tell Shawn it's time for the Survivor Series, not the Rumble. Finally, Showmoa Joe and their team come out. Vince McMahon is quite pissed that they'd blow the PPV on TV. Hey, Vince, will ya put in a call to TNA? I think they could use a talking to. Vinnie makes a captain's match as a compromise – Cena, Flair & DX vs. Rated RKO, Kenny & Big Show.
Sabu vs. Umaga (w/Armando Alejandro Estrada).
Umaga no-sells everything and destroys 'Bu with a series of chops. Repeat a half dozen times. Umaga eventually misses a charge, and Sabu hits a springboard legline. Sabu, who looks really disinterested tonight, springboards into a Tornado DDT. Umaga catches him in another springboard and finishes the squash with a Samoan Spike at 3:02. Maybe it's just me, but shouldn't you protect the guy just a little if he's going to be in the main event of a PPV in a few weeks? Especially since he was in there with a mid-carder. 1/2*
Chris Masters interrupts Torrie as she's shooting T-shirts into the crowd. Just bring Carlito out now. We all know where this is heading. Thankfully, it doesn't drag on any longer than it has to as Masters makes a lewd comment, bringing out Carly to make dick jokes. Carlito knocks Masters out of the ring and accepts some Torrie love, but Masters comes back and jumps Carlito from behind, putting him in the Masterlock. Lawler makes the save. Part of me thinks Lawler just made the save in an attempt to weasel his way into a threesome.
Nitro & Melina dedicate their victory tonight to K-Fed. Nitro says people only like to watch Jeff Hardy because there's a 50/50 chance he'll kill himself. AND THAT'S A SHOOT, BRUTHA!
In the back, the SS argues over who is going to face Dusty Rhodes tonight. Kenny overrules the group and chooses Nicky. Then, he walks over and cockblocks Flair while Flair is trying to get his freak on with Candice Michelle. Hey, she still works here?
Intercontinental Title, Ladder Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro (w/Melina).
Nitro dives under the ladder and through Melina's legs during his entrance. I wonder if that makes his luck worse or cancels the bad luck out? They trade shots early, and then Jeff hits the Whisper in the Wind. Jeff hits Nitro with a baseball slides, blatantly motions for him to get up, and then hits a pescado. We come back from a break to Nitro shoving the ladder over with Jeff still on it. JR notes that Jeff was "literally hung out to dry." Yeah, I'll let you all deal with that one. Jeff sets up for the Guillotine Legdrop, but Nitro crotches him on the top rope. Nitro tries to catapult Hardy into the ladder, but Jeff grabs onto the ladder and crawls up. Nitro has to catch him and dropkick him off the ladder from the ladder. Can't say I've ever seen that one before. Jeff slams him on the ladder but misses the Swanton and hits the ladder. Nitro takes over, whipping Jeff into the ladder and then jabbing him with the 12-footer. Jeff reverses a whip, though, sending Nitro into the ladder. They both go up the 8-foot ladder, but Jeff sunset flips Nitro into a powerbomb. Jeff hits that Guillotine Legdrop he was looking for. Nitro is out, so Jeff pins him under the ladder and scales it for the win at 18:31. Pretty good match, but the ladder match concept is played out. Nitro yet again looked good in a big match. ***1/4
Dusty Rhodes vs. Nicky.
Can anyone listen to the beginning of Dusty's music without imagining Will Farrell dancing around with his cowbell? Nicky tries to work the ankle, but Dusty shoves him over the top. Dusty hits a series of elbows and finishes with the Bionic Elbow at 2:48. Nothing of note outside of nostalgia. 1/4*
Randy Orton and Maria interrupt Edge & Lita's makeout session so that Maria can ask a stupid question (and show off her perky bosoms). Edge & Orton decide to investigate a ruckus and find Cryme Tyme in their locker room watching "See No Evil." Edge & Orton take exception. Well, not in a "Michael Richards" way. SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU INTERRUPT THE WHITE MAN?! Cryme Tyme abducts Maria to watch "See No Evil" with them. So the RNC was right!
Women's Title, Blindfold Match: Lita vs. Mickie James.
Yet another lopsided match. This time Mickie is blindfolded, which she should be used to from her bondage porn career. Lita plants her with the DDT but decides to finish with the moonsault at 1:20. Lita is pissed off about the fans disrespecting her. She says we've forgotten what she is and who she's done. Maybe I got that backwards. She announces that she's going to retire after Survivor Series and take the title with her. 1/4*
Edge, Randy Orton, Big Show & Kenny vs. Triple H, Shawn Michaels, John Cena & Ric Flair.
Cena and Flair take on the entire heel team by themselves until DX finally comes down to make the save Ultimate Warrior-style. Edge winds up taking an ass-kicking from the babyfaces before Show makes the save. YOU ARE THE BRUTE SQUAD! Yeah, I know I've used it before, but it's apropos. Flair goes low to cut off Show's momentum, and we go to break. We come back to Shawn playing face-in-peril. Kenny gets some offense in and seems way over his head in terms of relative credibility. Even JR notes it. Cena eventually gets the hot tag. Kenny can't see him. Five-Knuckle Shuffle. Show breaks up the FU, though. The faces team up to throw Show out, and Cena finishes Kenny with the FU at 13:14. Pretty soon, all of the teams run down for a massive brawl. DOGS AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER! MASS HYSTERIA! **1/4
Final Thoughts: Big-ass hard sell this week, and it got the point across. The Hardy/Nitro match was pretty good for a mid-card match, something unusual for Raw. Unlike years past, it doesn't look like there's even any potential for something earth shattering this year – just some good matches. Nothing wrong with that.
