The Final Fantasy Heat Report: 12.17.06
Posted by Jeff Small on 12.17.2006
Armageddon Outta Here!!!
Welcome back to another electrifying addition of the Final Fantasy Heat Report!!! In today's edition, Super Crazy battles Rob Conway, we take a look back at some of the highlights of the WWE in Iraq, and say thanks to not being stuck with watching another Highlanders/Cade & Murdoch match. At least, that's what I'm doing.
Taped from Raw, it's Online Heat!!!
Our announcers for this evening are Todd Grisham and Jonathan Coachman.
Match 1: Val Venis vs. Eugene
Match Description: This is Eugene's first match as a heel on Heat. I wonder if I will hate his heel persona any more than his face persona.
Fantasy Description: Val Venis will earn finisher points if he hits the Money Shot. On the other hand, Eugene will earn points with either his Stone Cold Stunner or his Rock Bottom. Considering that he's a heel now, he might need a new repertoire of finishers (like the Pedigree perhaps).
Eugene bails to start. After he finally gets in the ring, he decides to crawl back out. After a minute of inaction, the two men lockup. Val applies a side headlock but is whipped to the turnbuckle. Eugene misses an elbow splash and walks into a clothesline. Two scoop slams and an elbow drop gets 2 for Val. Eugene bails again.
Eugene trips Val and pulls him to the outside. He rams Val's back into the ring apron. In the ring, he chokes Val on the bottom rope. Vertical suplex gets 2. Eugene locks in an abdominal stretch and uses the ropes for fun. After his third attempt at cheating, the ref forces him to break the hold. This allows Val to side Russian leg sweep him. Slugfest is won by Val. Two clothesline and a back body drop follows. Eugene reverses a whip into a sleeper hold which is reversed into a blue thunder bomb for 2 ¾. Val connects on a running knee lift but a second attempt is blocked. Eugene pins him with his feet on the rope for 3 @ 5:36. Awful finish to a boring match.
Winner: Eugene (5 points)
Loser: Val Venis (2 points)
Armageddon is on fire tonight!!!
Match 2: Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch vs. Jason Static and Fred Sampson
Match Description: Squash!!!
Fantasy Description: Cade and Murdoch will earn finisher points after decapitating either jobber with their Sweet N Sour.
Cade and Murdoch both have new threads tonight as Cade is opting for a gay cowboy look while Murdoch has upped the ante with a hillbilly uniform. Cade undresses to start. He toys with Static before taunting after a snap mare. Cade whips Static in the corner but runs into a big boot. Unfortunately for Static, he's bitchslapped by Cade. Cade now turns to clobbering before tagging in Murdoch. The double team inverted atomic drop/big boot combo connects. Murdoch allows Static to tag in Sampson before clobbering away. After a couple of tags, Cade calls for the Sweet N Sour. It connects and is good enough for the win @ 4:26.
Winners: Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch (10 points)
Losers: Static and Sampson
We now take a look back at last year's WWE in Iraq Holiday show. Complete with Scott Stapp music of course!!!
Match 3: Rob Conway vs. Super Crazy
Match Description: Conway's still on his losing streak that will probably last until he's released in 2007. Really, that's all we need to know here. (I totally forgot the two men fought last week on Heat until I looked at my old report. Shows how much I care.)
Fantasy Description: Well we can assume Conway won't be winning this match. So Crazy can earn points with either a top-rope or middle-rope moonsault.
They lockup and Crazy works on Conway's arm. A side headlock leads to a 2 count but Conway reverses with a headscissors. Crazy nips out of it. They lockup again which leads a Conway shoulderblock. Crazy fights back with a headscissors and a couple of dropkicks. Conway bails. Crazy stops his own pescado attempt and opts for a moonsault to the outside.
In the ring, Conway and Crazy fight in the corner before Conway neck snaps Crazy with the top rope. On the apron, Conway knocks Crazy back down to the outside. A vertical suplex into the ring gets 2. A hard whip into the corner gets 2. Conway applies a headscissors. Conway releases to drop an elbow for 2. Another elbow drop to the back gets 2. Conway applies a chinlock. Crazy fights out of it but is whipped into the corner. Conway runs into a boot and then a spinning wheel kick. Dropkiick. Crazy monkeyflips Conway out of the corner and a standing moonsault finishes @ 8:00.
Winner: Super Crazy (8 points)
Loser: Rob Conway (5 points)
Our Fantasy winners of the week are Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch who scored a whopping 10 points!!!
Here's an updated look at the scoreboard after week 5:
Week 5 Scoreboard
1. Cade and Murdoch (30 points)
2. Super Crazy (24 points)
3. Hacksaw Jim Duggan (23 points)
4. Charlie Haas (17 points)
5. The Highlanders (15 points)
Rob Conway (15 points)
6. Shelton Benjamin (14 points)
7. Snitsky (5 points)
Eugene (5 points)
8. Val Venis (4 points)
We now have a new #1 (and #2) thanks to Hacksaw's week off. However, there's still plenty of time for things to change. Next week, I'm sure we will have a clip show with a look back at the year in 2006!!! Until then, have a good one!
