The Impact Crater 01.18.07

Posted by Ryan Byers on 01.19.2007

New programs take shape for the post-Angle/Joe era, and the Impact Crater tries out a new format!

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to your Impact Crater for January 18, 2007.

This week, I'm experimenting with a new format. Those of you who have read this column for quite some time know that a large part of what I do here is analyze TNA's booking. However, at times, I'm unable to do this as much analysis as I would like because I'm also attempting to do play-by-play and only have so much time to dedicate to this column. Thus, this week's Crater is a comprehensive breakdown of the show's booking. Those of you who want a blow-by-blow of exactly what happened can check out Larry's report.

Feel free to e-mail me with your thoughts on the format. Reader feedback will determine whether I keep it or go back to the old way of doing things.

Angle Numero Uno: Kurt Angle vs. Christian Cage

First of all, let me just say that this is NOT the World Title feud that I would book to carry TNA for the next several months. As talented as both men are individually, the company is running the risk that, when fans tune in and see them paired off against each other, they'll think the show is nothing more than a lame WWE knockoff and nothing unique. Seriously, why would you put on a main event that wouldn't have been any higher than the Smackdown midcard two years ago?

Though the storyline as a whole is probably a bad idea, the company did a decent job of advancing it. Both men worked well on the microphone, and the idea of Christian having a "mystery consultant" is something that fans can get in to. Mystery men always add a certain level of intrigue to shows, whether they're done well or not. However, I can't say that dropping the names of wrestlers who aren't going to be appearing on the shows (e.g. Goldberg, Lesnar) is a smart move. The only thing that it accomplishes is disappointing the crowd when they never actually come in . . . and, to that end, this company needs to do whatever possible to bring in Rob Van Dam when his WWE contract expires. TNA may not have done anything to create the anticipation of RVD's debut with the company, but it is very real and shouldn't be ignored. The only potential problem is Van Dam seeing this level of reaction and attempting to artificially inflate the size of his future TNA contract as a result. This may take his asking price out of the range that TNA is willing to pay.

Anyway . . . back to Christian versus Angle. You'd think that Joe as Christian's consultant is far too obvious. Hopefully it winds up being somebody outside of the company, because there is a strong continent of fans who always wind up being disappointed when a mystery man is not a new face. I have no clue who they could sign that would be worth anything, but they've got about ten new choices as of earlier today. I vote for Gangrel.

Finally, I don't understand why the company booked Kurt Angle versus AJ Styles for the main event of the program. That's a match fans would actually pay to buy if it was put on a pay per view event. Instead, 4:10 of the match aired, Angle decisively won, and the whole thing was secondary to the feud with Cage. Now you'll never be able to bill a match as the first meeting between Kurt Angle and AJ Styles, and you'll never be able to ask the question "Who would win Styles versus Angle?" without this match serving as an answer. If the actual focus of the segment is going to be the Angle/Xian feud, why not put Angle against an opponent who doesn't matter? Why not put him again Sonjay Dutt in a match that wouldn't ruin a future PPV main event?

Angle Numero Dos: Abyss, Sting, and Jim Mitchell's Love Triangle

So Sting is now a detective attempting to get to the bottom of Abyss' criminal history. I think that they should have given him the PCS guys and dressed them up as the characters from Scooby Doo. They're already buried six feet under, so why not go all the way with it?

Frankly, I don't understand where this is going. Abyss seemingly sided with Mitchell prior to the pay per view. If they just wanted to do a straight up Abyss/Sting singles match, then this series of vignettes wouldn't have been necessary. They could have just done a traditional build to the fight. Thus, the presence of the vignettes would seem to indicate that Abyss is turning face. But, if Abyss turns face, who is feuding with who? Will Abyss wrestle Jim Mitchell on pay per view? Will Abyss and Sting take on Mitchell in a handicap match? Will Mitchell bring in two men to face Sting and Abyss? If so, who will they be? Will they be people who can actually be accepted on the level of these two main eventers? Does TNA really need two more guys on its overcrowded roster? There is no logical blow off to an Abyss face turn here, but, if he remains a heel after building to a face turn for so long, several months worth of storylines will have been wasted. Needless to say, I don't have faith that Vince Russo will come up with an acceptable conclusion that I cannot think of.

Angle Numero Tres: LAX vs. The Dudley Boys

Much like Angle versus Styles, I don't understand why TNA wouldn't at least try to get fans to pay for this match. The reintroduction of Moody Jack Melendez after a few months of absence was odd, though I guess the company feels that LAX needs somebody to interfere on their behalf now that Konnan is on the shelf. Frankly, I think that the better avenue would have been to put The Dudleys over in a non-title match, which would add more steam to a PPV rematch than the challengers losing again. Then again, there's a possibility that Bubba and D-Von will be having some sort of match with Spike Dudley at the next PPV instead of receiving a Tag Title shot. Yeah, because we haven't seen that pairing enough over the course of the last eight years.

And the Rest . . .

Here is the section in which I address all of the thirty second clips, promos, and backstage segments that litter the TNA landscape:

~ Gail Kim and Jacqueline are FIGHTING! This is the women's version of Angle versus Christian, as it happened in WWE years ago, didn't matter then, and doesn't matter now.

~ Christy Hemme is a feminist now. Yes, the DIVA SEARCH WINNER, the Diva Search Winner and FORMER "JUGGY" DANCER who once DECLARED THAT HER ASS WAS HUNGRY and then SAT ON A PIE is a feminist who takes wrestling seriously.

~ Oh yeah, and they did another one of those sit-down interviews in which the person the interviewee is feuding with just happens to walk by. Seriously, people, come up with some new ideas.

~ The Paparazzi Productions segments are apparently coming to an end, which is sad because they were generally funny. However, it will be nice to see the men involved back in the ring, particularly if they're given time for singles matches as opposed to being crammed in to six man clusters.

~ Baseball players are striking. It's not a labor dispute this time, though. Now they're busy striking Lance Hoyt with steel chairs. All of this is leading to the triumphant return of the Demon, so I feel the need to make fun of it. However, it's getting TNA more mainstream press than Kurt Angle and Sting combined, so maybe it's not so laughable.

Final Thoughts

And that does it for this week, folks. Impact was decent this week, as they've finally settled on having three or four top angles that get pushed heavily on TV with everything else being background noise. That's what they've needed to do for a while, so I'm not going to be too hard on any show that gets it right. My only concern is that Angle versus Christian will be a failure as a PPV draw for the reasons listed above.

That does it until next week. Again, feel free to provide me with feedback on this somewhat experimental format. Fan response will determine whether I keep it this way or move back to the more traditional way of doing things. Also, if you're a fan of hard hitting, gritty pro wrestling action, feel free to check out my friends at Gung Ho Wrestling.