The Impact Crater 01.24.07
Posted by Ryan Byers on 01.25.2007
It's a special night for Impact, a special win for Jerry Lynn, a special announcement by Sting, a special hint from Christian, and the very special return of reader feedback.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Impact Crater. Those of you who read last week's column will recall that I debuted a new format, which was heavy on booking critique and light on match play-by-play. The feedback that I got for it was overwhelmingly positive, so we're going to continue down that road this week. Let's get going!
Quick & Dirty Results
Segment #1: Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle/Christian Interview
Segment #2: Raven vs. Rhino went to a No Contest when AJ Styles (disguised as Raven) jumped Rhino
Segment #3: Jerry Lynn defeated Chris Sabin, Low Ki, & Austin Aries in a four way match by pinning Sabin
Segment #4: Sting revealed that Chris "Abyss" Parks was in jail for shooting his own father. Abyss then beat him soundly.
Segment #5: Christian defeated Christopher Daniels
Angle Numero Uno: Joe vs. Angle IV . . . IV . . . IV Lyfe!
You know, I was really ready to move on from the Kurt Angle versus Samoa Joe feud. Sure, the matches were fun, but the whole thing was so badly booked when compared to what it could have been that it left a bad taste in my mouth. I wanted that bad taste to go away for a while before they locked up again. Unfortunately, it looks like that's not going to happen. Sure, we've got a brief Angle vs. Christian detour, but it's ultimately heading back to a fourth Angle versus Joe match, this time with the NWA Title on the line.
And one of the biggest problems with the original feud lingers on, as viewers have absolutely no clue who is supposed to be a heel and who is supposed to be a babyface. Both men are portrayed as faces against Christian, but then when they cut promos on each other or brawl, nobody knows who they're supposed to get behind. This was clearly highlighted in the opening segment tonight, in which Joe jumped Angle for seemingly NO REASON WHATSOEVER, which would presumably make him a heel. However, this is just weeks after Angle broke a woman's ankle for no good reason, which would seemingly make him a heel. Then Joe goes out in the main event and cuts off heel interference from Tyson/Travis Tomko, which would seemingly make him a face. We've got a great piece of reader feedback that lets off some steam about TNA angles making absolutely no sense, so I'll reserve a lengthy rant and let that reader get to it.
My other problem with the feud is that, if it continues, it completely overshadows the rivalry that is supposed to exist between Christian and Angle. This is even more problematic when you combine it with rant that I went on last week about Angle vs. Christian being nothing more than a lame WWE castoff match. So now you've got two major strikes against the program . . . I just hope that we don't wind up with a third.
Angle Numero Dos: Counseling Christian
The slow build to the revelation of Christian's "counselor" continues. The hints have been subtle, but between Tyson/Travis Tomko's beard and the addition of his sunglasses this evening, it looks like we're heading in to the return of Scott Steiner. If the man revealed is Steiner, it sets up some rather interesting match possibilities. Samoa Joe has a beef with Christian's camp at this point, so we could wind up with a rematch of last year's shockingly good Joe versus Steiner encounter. We could also get why I believe would be the first ever meeting between Steiner and Kurt Angle which, though it may not be great for in-ring action, could certainly have a great build playing off of the amateur backgrounds of both men.
Angle Numero Tres: Sting is a Dick
Seriously. After watching this week's episode, I don't know how anybody could cheer for Sting. If anything, Abyss and Jim Mitchell are now coming across as more sympathetic characters. Abyss had a horrible secret that he wanted to live in his past, something that he's trying to move on from. So what does Sting do? He drags the poor guy's dirty laundry out on national television for everybody to see. Then he takes Jim Mitchell, a guy who is half his size and in no shape whatsoever, chains him to a fence, and beats the living hell out of him. It didn't help matters when Mitchell pointed out tonight that Sting had committed at least two rather serious crimes throughout the course of last week's Impact. When things like that happen, shouldn't we be cheering for Mitchell and Abyss to get their revenge instead of feeling sorry for Sting when he gets beaten up? Here's a tip, Stinger. If you want people to like you, stay out of their business and don't chain their friends to fences.
And all of this, according to Mitchell's promo, is building up to a "confrontation" between Sting and Abyss in a prison yard at the pay per view. One would think that this is going to be an out of control brawl with a lot of weapons and aimless brawling. So what does TNA show us tonight between Sting and Abyss? An out of control brawl with a lot of weapons and aimless brawling. This raises a crucial question: Why in the world would you give away for free what you're going to put on the pay per view? The exact same thing happened this week on ECW when Bobby Lashley pinned Test days before their encounter on pay per view. Somebody needs to sit down the TNA writing team and the ECW writing team in the same room. They then need to either have Jim Cornette teach Booking 101 or they need to blow that room sky high.
I'll have to say, though, that it's good to see somebody pull out the fireball gimmick again. It's been a while. (And hopefully Mitchell wound up with all of his fingers at the end of the evening.)
Angle Numero Cuatro: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle
One of my favorite segments in WCW Nitro history saw Randy Savage take on La Parka . . . only for Parka to hit the Diamond Cutter on Savage out of nowhere and then unmask as Diamond Dallas Page. That was well before Vince Russo came in to the company, but Vinny Ru later did his own version of the angle with Madusa of all people dressing up as the luchadore. We got a variant on this one here, as "Raven" caned the hell out of Rhino and then revealed himself to be AJ Styles. This was a solid beatdown by AJ, who has really perfected his heel facials and mannerisms over the last several weeks. He's got that cocky frat boy swagger down pat. Now he just needs to work on adjusting his wrestling style so that it includes fewer flashy, crowd pleasing highspots. Though we never got an answer to the question of why exactly the two men are feuding, at least the subsequent angles (like this one) have been fairly entertaining.
And the Rest . . .
Here is the section in which I address all of the thirty second clips, promos, and backstage segments that litter the TNA landscape:
~ Ron Killings is "going Hollywood." Any twelve year old kid could've made that "A Few Good Black Men" picture on his iPod.
~ One of the problems with TNA is that they have all of these side angles that get so little time that I can barely remember what's happening in them. (And I'm a guy who reviews the show every week.) For example, I had to think for about fifteen minutes before I remembered why Eric Young and Jeremy Borash were shopping for condoms. I had to think even harder about what contract Traci Brooks was trying to get Young to sign. The company needs to either position these angles in a way where they can be advanced in a substantial way every week or forget them completely.
~ However, I have to say that James Storm's performance in the condom skit stole the show. Like AJ Styles and Chris Sabin, he's somebody who has had untapped heel potential for quite some time now, and it's great to see him spread his wings.
~ Keep in touch with Voodoo Kin, tell me where they've gone and been. They're apparently breaking up, and Billy Gunn is apparently feuding with Christy Hemme. That should be a hell of a little match right there.
~ Jerry Lynn pins Chris Sabin, presumably to set up a title match against him at the next pay per view. I have no problem with this.
~ I wasn't expecting the guest appearance by Konnan at all. It was phenomenal, as all Konnan promos tend to be lately. Having him in these video packages is a great idea, as he's a better talker than anybody else in the company, which helps a great deal in getting over LAX's angles. I just hope that they don't end the LAX vs. Dudley feud before K-Dawg and Bubba Ray get an opportunity to go face to face on the stick.
~ Chris Daniels gets to cut a ten second promo before his match with Christian. What the hell he said or what it had to do with anything I don't know. However, he did have a hand in putting on what had to be the best Imapct match in several months against Christian Cage.
Overall
This episode of Impact was a rather mixed bag. I still don't think that the Christian vs. Angle feud should be happening, and I definitely don't think that it should be playing second fiddle to Joe vs. Angle if it is happening. However, all of the men involved are performing very well both on the mic and in the ring, so at least I personally can be entertained by part of the angle even if I don't think that it's the best choice for TNA from a business perspective. On top of that, the "counselor" aspect is providing a little bit more intrigue than the story normally would have, though I do have some fear that inserting a fifth man in to the mix will lead to the storyline being overcrowded. It almost needs to be a situation in which the counselor is introduced, put up against Angle once or twice, and then immediately spun off in to his own feud . . . which, unless done very well, will make the introduction against Angle seem pointless.
Sting versus Abyss is obviously the second focal point of the show, and it's currently suffering from the same sort of backwards heel/face booking that crippled Angle versus Joe. I just don't understand how Abyss is supposed to be a heel after what Sting has done to him, though I can't see Mr. Borden turning heel. If there is one positive to the whole angle at this point, it's that the "jail yard brawl" for the pay per view can be a segment that is taped prior to the pay per view and edited together in to something watchable. Given previous interaction between the two men in the ring and the less than great results that it has produced, that may be for the best.
The TNA undercard also seems to have been developed a little bit better than in the past. AJ Styles versus Rhino and Chris Sabin versus Jerry Lynn are solid in-ring feuds that get advanced just the right amount on television. There's just enough that fans don't forget that they exist, but there's not so much that they take away from the two primary angles that the company is running. Now if TNA could learn to run four or five such angles at the same time and alternate the weeks that they receive their primary TV coverage, we might have a show that hits on all cylinders.
That does it for this week's episode of Impact, but it doesn't do it for the Crater. If you stick around, I've got a little bit of reader feedback to go through after a lengthy period of ignoring my great fans. I apologize, guys.
Your critique of this last Impact was right on the money, as always. It so frustrating to watch I almost cried. Seriously. Very single show that Russo has booked on his return is filled with endless amounts of silly segments that are completely void of cohesion or logic. I've been watching wrestling for over 2 decades now, and until now, there has not been single moment that I couldn't follow what the hell is going on. WHY DOESN'T ANYTHING ON IMPACT MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE!? When did Traci Brooks gain the power to "fire" people? Why is AJ heel all of a sudden? Why are Rhino and AJ mad at each other!? Abyss has been a bad guy as far back as I can remember, why the hell would he care about anyone revealing his prison-rape (I'm assuming that's what it is) story? When is Eric Young going to do something that's actually funny, much less something that makes him worthy of the absurd amounts of TV time his midget ass is getting!? What is VKM supposed to be accomplishing!? Why is Impact Zone filled with so many WWE rejects anyway!? What the hell is the point these idiotic Kevin Nash/X-Division skits!? Why do Kurt Angle, Sting and Samoa Joe constantly flip-flop between Heel and Face every five minutes!? Why do we have this quasi-homosexual love triangle between Christopher Daniels, Chris Sabin and Jerry Lynn!? More than anything, what happened to actual WRESTLING on Impact!?
Don't answer any of those questions. I wouldn't care anyway. I think I'm done with wrestling for awhile, period. I was only watching in hopes that competition would bring about improvement all across the genre. TNA just plain sucks. RAW is insanely boring. I never believed in ECW from the beginning. And I seem to have some sort of mental block that keeps me from remembering to record Smackdown. It just goes on and on and gets worse and worse.
Maybe I should buy these ROH DVDs that everyone keeps talking about.
As requested, I won't answer the questions, but Marlen here does a good job of summing up some of the frustrations that I and many other fans have had with the Vince Russo-booked Impact. I've heard a few people try to defend the current product – by saying that it wouldn't be this bad if they had another hour, by saying that ratings have increased under Russo, by saying that they personally are entertained by the programming. However, none of those defenses do a damn thing for TNA unless more fans are willing to pay money for the product through pay per view and merchandise sales. Without those sources of income, TNA will never grow and potentially cease to exist. When the product is driving away the most loyal wrestling fans (i.e. the wrestling fans most likely to actually pay for the product), you run up against some major problems, some of which may catch up with TNA over the next year or so if they do not remedy them.
John R. chimes in with some thoughts on the 1/11/07 Imapct:
Solid analysis as always. I do agree that TNA needs to simplify things a bit more when it comes to these angles (you're right why on earth do the Dudleys need to be on 3 times?). However, I do believe what the reason they do things such as the Daniels/AJ staredown is for building future angles down the line. This way it leaves a bit of intrigue to the viewing audience as to what is going to happen next. For instance, I do know that Angle & Christian will feud, we just don't know when. I believe that because TNA is in such great shape due to their World Title scene being so deep (WWE take note) that they can go in a multitude of directions. Just so as long as there are no more Abyss/Tomko matches (ugh).
While the six man match was a bit muddled at the end, I know it's really a way of reminding the fans that "hey, we have more than two matches on this upcoming ppv".
I acknowledged in my review of the show that there is absolutely no problem with building for future angles. However, there is a difference between hinting at a future angle and what TNA did in this particular instance. On that show, they had a six man tag team match in which members of three different feuds were represented. This was the last show before the pay per view. Did TNA further ANY of the feuds that would be featured on the pay per view event? No, they did not. They had an opportunity to create some last-minute buys among their fanbase, and they chose to completely ignore it in order to build up an angle that would not be taking place until after the PPV. The concept of planting seeds for the future? Good. The timing of TNA doing it in this particular case? Bad.
As for Serotonin, other than Raven's pimp suit and Mardi Gras style masks, I'm going to remain optimistic about it. I think what they're trying to do is use the torture method to build up the up and comers to make them a force. Of course I could be wrong but with TNA's tag team ranks all but diminished, the wise thing would be to build these guys up to the point where they can make some noise, and soon.
I actually think that Raven's suit is the best part of the angle.
As far as the rest of it is concerned, this is akin to the building of future angles that we just finished discussing. The general concept is fine, but the actual carrying out of the idea has been flawed. If you had Serotonin going out there, wrestling competitive matches, and just barely losing, Raven's caning could be played off as a form of discipline that ultimately results in their improving and winning. However, that's not what has been happening. They've been going out there and losing what are basically three-on-one handicap matches . . . and they're losing them DECISIVELY. If this wound up being part of a several month long angle, you could portray them as slowly and slowly getting better until ultimately they are competitive members of the tag team roster. In the current incarnation of TNA, though, nothing happens with a long-term build. I have a feeling that, if the company ever decides to make Serotonin in to contenders, it will magically happen within a period of a week or two. Will fans buy in to this? Will they suddenly accept these guys as legitimate threats when they couldn't beat Eric Young less than a month ago?
That being said, I believe that Christian should go over on Sunday and win the belt. Since Tomko is by his side, I could see a Jarrett type reign for quite some time. Also, an Angle win would be best here, which should keep this feud on hiatus until he wins the belt. This will make it all the more sweeter when Joe wins it later this year.
I went in to detail last week about why I don't believe that Angle vs. Christian is a good idea. As far as your contention that the company should hold off on a Joe title victory, they've held off enough at this pont. The fans were ready to accept him as champion several months prior to Angle's debut with the company. Though I understand postponing the title win until after the Angle/Joe feud concluded, you're now putting it off so much that you risk the crowd not buying Joe as a legitimate contender when he finally gets his title shot. You're giving the crowd an opportunity to forget about what makes him special and what made them accept him in the first place. Granted, TNA prevent this by making sure that the big Samoan goes on another several month long killing spree, though again I don't have much faith that this will actually happen.
Danny says a little something something about the new format:
Hey, the new format gets a solid thumbs up from me. Since I don't regularly watch Impact on Thursdays, this gave me a great review/analysis of the angles. You do a good job breaking Impact's insanity down. Keep it up...until your brain collapses.
Actually, one of my concerns with the new format was that individuals who don't watch the show regularly would be completely lost. It's good to hear that at least one of them did not have that problem. Again, I'm open to any concerns that readers have about the format, so feel free to keep them rolling in. I want to make this column something that's entertaining for as many people as possible to read.
And, finally, 411 Wrestling's own Jeff Small chimes in on formatting issues:
I'm not sure if my opinion means anything but I'm a much bigger fan of your new format. Really, play by play is so unnecessary for a 2 minute Impact match whose purpose is to advance an angle. However, I think that you should at least include at the top the match results (in short form) just so the reader knows what happened on the show. (Like I clicked on your report before reading Larry's and I had no idea what really happened on the show in terms of match results and whatnot).
As you all saw, Jeff's suggestion was integrated in to the beginning of the column, and I think that it'll stay there for the entirety of this format's run. However, I definitely see this column as being something that people read to supplement their viewing of the show or their reading of Larry's recap, not something that they read instead of watching the show or reading Larry's recap.
And that will do it for this week, kids. If you're looking for more reading material, feel free to check out the second week of my four week run filling in for Ask 411. And, if you're looking for hard hitting rasslin' action in New Jersey, check out my friends at Gung Ho Wrestling.
