411's WWE Heat Report 04.01.07
Posted by Scott Slimmer on 04.02.2007
Super Crazy and Shelton Benjamin put on an absolute Heat classic, and we’re celebrating with the biggest Heat Report of the year!
Hey guys and gals, I'm Scott, and this is 411's WWE Heat Report.
You're probably aware that unlike Raw and Smackdown!, Heat is now available exclusively on WWE.com. The video-on-demand nature of Heat allows me to screen each episode for you while still allowing you to watch all or part of the show after reading my report. I want this column to be a resource to help you decide which segments are worth watching and which segments are worth skipping. However, I also want to cover each segment in detail for those of you who do not have the time, the desire, or the ability to watch Heat yourself. I'm going to try and meet both of these goals by separating this column into a preview and a review. The preview will include the title of each segment, the tag line for each segment, the running time for each segment, and the non-spoiler bottom line on whether or not the segment is worth watching. The review will include a detailed description of all of the action in each segment. Okay kids, enough with the boring stuff. Let's get to the wrestling.
The Preview
Segment 1: Venis Rising Tag Line: Weeks ago, Val Venis and Charlie Haas squared off with Val emerging victorious. Can he do it again? Running Time: 11:56 Bottom Line: Hey, you really can't go wrong with Val Venis and Charlie Haas, now can you? Venis and Haas deliver exactly the sort of match you want to open Heat and set the stage for one of the best episodes of Heat in recent memory. They're careful not to upstage the spectacular main event that will follow, but they also fit in enough action and psychology to make this a little hidden gem. Watch it.
Segment 2: A Look Back Tag Line: Relive Mr. McMahon challenging ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley on Raw. Running Time: 3:24 Bottom Line: This segment is comprised entirely of highlights from the 03.26.07 episode of Raw, so you can skip it if you already saw Raw. However, feel free to watch it if you missed Raw, if you want a nice recap of recent events, or if you just don't feel satisfied by an episode of Heat unless you see Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch get their asses handed to them.
Segment 3: Cryme Tyme Tag Line: Yo, yo, yo! Cryme Tyme brings their street smarts into the ring to face Steve Boz & Eddie Venom. Running Time: 6:45 Bottom Line: How can you not love Cryme Tyme? The looked like they were poised for a nice little push, seemingly became the Number One Contenders for the World Tag Team Championship, and now are stuck in limbo on Heat, but they're still out there every week busting their asses and looking like they're having the time of their lives in the process. It's a pleasure to watch a pair of guys who truly seem to love their job. They have the kind of effortless charisma that most of the rest of the guys on the roster would give a nut to have. I'm becoming more and more of a fan of these guys every week. Anyway, we all know this is a squash match, but Cryme Tyme once again make it one hell of an entertaining squash match. Watch it.
Segment 4: Benjamin Gets Crazy Tag Line: One-half of the World's Greatest Tag Team goes up against Super Crazy in the Heat main event. Running Time: 12:18 Bottom Line: This is, without a doubt, an absolute Heat classic and is arguable the best match on Heat since the inception of the online era. Hell, it's longer and better than three of the eight matches at WrestleMania 23 and clearly demonstrates that Super Crazy and Shelton Benjamin both deserved to be at the big dance. Oh well, there's always next year… In the mean time, we can only hope that Heat continues to have matches of this quality. You know that twelve minutes you usually spend reading Small's News Report on Thursday? Do yourself a favor and use the time to watch this match instead. You can thank me later.
The Review
Segment 1: Venis Rising (Val Venis vs. Charlie Haas)
We start off with the new WWE: The Power is Back video followed by the Heat opening video. Todd Grisham, alongside Jonathan Coachman, welcomes us to Heat. The World's Greatest Tag Team's music hits, and Charlie Haas makes his way down the ramp. Haas climbs into the ring and surveys the landscape while Lillian Garcia subtly backs away from him. Damn, Lillian. A dude shoves you off the ring apron one time and you make a big thing out of it forever. Oh well, I'll let it slide. You know, because she's freakin' hot. Anyway, Haas hits the corner to pose for the crowd and take off his swank ring vest. "Hello, ladies!" Val Venis' music hits, and the only man on the planet that can refer to Ron Jeremy as "Mini Me" makes his way down the ramp. Venis gets some love from the crown along the way before climbing into the ring and stripping off the towel. Venis climbs out of the ring, gives the towel to a lovely young woman at ringside, and shows he just a little extra lovin' with a kiss on the cheek. And then Coachman and Grisham no-sell the whole thing on commentary.
Jonathan Coachman (on commentary): "Oh, I thought he was going to give it to the guy in the front row."
Todd Grisham (on commentary): "Maybe he should have."
Val climbs back into the ring and glares at Haas. Both men seem ready for action, so the referee signals for the bell, and this match is officially underway.
Venis and Haas circle each other to start before locking each other up in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Venis muscles Haas to the corner, but Haas reverses the situation and traps Venis in the corner. The referee calls for the clean break, and Haas reluctantly makes his way back to the middle of the ring. Venis and Haas circle each other for a second time before locking each other up in a second collar-and-elbow tie-up, but Haas quickly transitions to a standing hammer lock on Venis. Haas then transitions to a standing side head lock on Venis, but Venis muscles out of the hold and transitions into a standing hammer lock of his own on Haas. Venis then transitions to a standing side head lock on Venis, but Haas fights back with two chops to Venis' gut before whipping Venis to the ropes to break the hold. Venis comes off the ropes, drops Haas with a running shoulder block, hits the ropes again, leaps over Haas, and hits the opposite ropes as Haas springs back to his feet. Venis charges towards Haas and Haas goes for a hip toss, but Venis reverses into a hip toss of his own.
Haas gets back up to his feet but walks right into a deep arm drag from Venis. Venis maintains his hold on Haas' arm and transitions to an arm bar on Haas. Haas fights back to his feet, so Venis transitions to a standing hammer lock on Haas. Haas makes it to the ropes and the referee calls for the clean break, but Haas creates his own break with a back elbow shot to Venis' face. Haas grabs Venis by the head, guides him over to the corner, and slams his head into the top turnbuckle. Haas lands a straight punch to Venis' face and tries to whip him to the ropes, but Venis reverses and instead whips Haas to the ropes. Venis gives Haas a knee shot to the gut, whips him to the opposite ropes, and gives him a second knee shot to the gut. Venis guides Haas back to the middle of the ring and drops him down to the mat with a side Russian leg sweep. Venis covers Haas but only gets a two count before Haas gets a shoulder up.
Venis pins Haas' arm to the mat and drives his knee into Haas' elbow two times. Venis drags Haas back to his feet and applies an arm wringer, but Haas muscles Venis to the ropes and lifts Venis up onto the top rope. The referee calls for the clean break, but Haas shoves Venis backwards over the top rope. Venis bounces off the ring apron and crashes down to the arena floor. Damn, Charlie. Why you always gotta be shovin' people down to the floor? You see what you just did right there? You just gave Val something to talk about with Lillian. Now he can tell her he understands how horrible it was to have your stupid ass shove her off the ring apron. And she'll think he's all sensitive and shit. And then one thing will lead to another, yada yada yada. Congratulations, dumb ass. You just blew any shot you had left of hittin' that. Good job. Moron. Oh, wait. You get to do Miss Jackie any time you want, don't you? Well then, never mind. I need a shower.
Anyway, Venis scrapes himself off the arena floor and begins to climb back into the ring, but Haas grabs Venis' arm and expedites the process. Haas drops an elbow down onto Venis lower back and then drops a second elbow down onto the back of Venis' head. Haas drags Venis back to his feet, muscles him to the corner, and rams his back into the top turnbuckle. Haas guides Venis back to the middle of the ring but then again muscles him to the corner and rams his back into the top turnbuckle. Haas shoves Venis to the ropes, waits for him to rebound, and catches him with a forearm shot to the back. Venis falls face-first down to the mat, so Haas presses his advantage with a pair of knee drops to Venis' lower back. Haas positions his knee in Venis' lower back and locks in a cross-face. Venis begins to fight back to his feet, so Haas relinquishes the hold and shoves Venis' face straight into the mat. Haas drops an elbow down onto Venis' chest, so Venis instinctively rolls to his stomach. Haas drops a knee down onto Venis' lower back, positions his knee in Venis' lower back, and again locks in a cross-face. Venis struggles to reach the ropes, so Haas again relinquishes the hold but follows up with two more knee drops and a stomp to Venis' lower back. Haas drags Venis up to his hands and knees and locks in a modified camel clutch. Could this be an homage to 2007 WWE Hall of Fame Inductee The Original Sheik? Could be. Might be. Discuss amongst yourselves.
Anyway, Venis fights back to his feet, so Haas relinquishes the hold and gives Venis a knee shot to the gut. Haas muscles Venis to the corner and slams him back-first into the top turnbuckle. Haas takes a swing at Venis, but Venis blocks the punch and connects with a punch of his own. Haas takes a second swing at Venis, but Venis once again blocks the punch and connects with a punch of his own. What the hell? Is he Venising Up of something? We'll totally have to come up with a better name for that if Val starts doing this on a regular basis. Getting excited? Pumping up? Pitching a tent? Okay, maybe not so much with that last one.
Anyway, Venis connects with two more punches to Haas' face, but Haas retaliates by raking Venis' eyes. Haas hits the ropes and charges towards Venis, but Venis catches him with a punch to the gut followed by a swinging neck breaker. Both men slowly climb back to their feet, but Venis immediately charges towards Haas and levels him with a running clothesline. Haas quickly springs back to his feet, but Venis drops him with a back elbow shot to the face. Haas again gets back up to his feet, but Venis sends him right back down to the mat with a second back elbow shot to the face. Haas once again regains his vertical base, but Venis whips him to the ropes, waits for him to rebound, and catches him with a back body drop in the middle of the ring. Haas fights on and once again climbs back to his feet, but Venis gives him a kick to the gut followed by an absolutely beautiful fisherman's suplex. Venis has Haas pinned but only gets a two count before Haas kicks out.
Both men get back to their feet, but Venis strikes first with a punch to Haas' face. Venis tries to whip Haas to the corner, but Haas reverses and instead whips Venis to the corner. Haas charges towards Venis, but Venis just manages to slide out of the way causing Haas to slam chest-first into the top turnbuckle. Haas stumbles backwards right into a belly-to-back sit-down powerbomb from Venis. Venis has Haas pinned but only gets a two count before Haas kicks out. Venis gets back to his feet and heads for Haas, but Haas grabs Venis by the tights and sends him face-first into the top turnbuckle. Haas catches Venis with a school-boy pin and grabs the ropes for additional leverage, but the referee sees what Haas is doing and stops his count. Both men get back to their feet and Haas charges towards Venis, but Venis catches Haas with his patented Half Nelson Slam. Venis gets back to his feet, heads out onto the ring apron, and climbs up to the top turnbuckle. Venis readies himself for the Money Shot, but Haas springs back to his feet, charges towards the corner, and catches Venis with a leaping head butt. Haas climbs up to the second rope and goes for a superplex, but Venis retaliates with two punches to Haas' ribs before shoving Haas back down to the mat. Venis launches himself into the air and goes for the Money Shot, gut Haas gets his knees up and drives them squarely into Venis' chest. Haas casually covers Venis, but Venis reverses into a modified crucifix pin on Haas and gets the three count. Haas gets to his feet with a bewildered expression on his face, Venis' music hits, and Venis rolls out of the ring to the safety of the arena floor. The referee climbs out of the ring, helps Venis to his feet, and raises his hand in victory while Haas drops to his knees in despair in the ring.
We move on to a promo for Super Crazy vs. Shelton Benjamin in this week's Heat main event.
Next up is a promo for highlights of Bobby Lashley vs. Vince McMahon in a No Disqualification Match from the 03.26.07 episode of Raw, next on Heat.
We finish up with a commercial for The Undertaker vs. Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania 23, live this Sunday, April 1, at 7e/4p, only on pay-per-view.
Match Result: Val Venis defeats Charlie Haas with a modified crucifix pin. Match Length: 7:34 Best Spot: Venis' Half Nelson Slam
Segment 2: A Look Back
(Highlights of Bobby Lashley vs. Vince McMahon in a No Disqualification Match from the 03.26.07 episode of Raw)
We start off with the WWE Rewind featuring highlights of Stone Cold Steve Austin's altercation with Jonathan Coachman from the 03.26.07 episode of Raw.
We move on to highlights of Bobby Lashley vs. Vince McMahon in a No Disqualification match from the 03.26.07 episode of Raw.
We finish up with a commercial for WrestleMania 23, live this Sunday, April 1, at 7e/4p, only on pay-per-view.
Segment 3: Cryme Tyme (Cryme Tyme vs. Steve Boz & Eddie Venom)
"Yo, yo, yo, yo! Shad Gaspard and JTG, it's Cryme Tyme! Brooklyn, Brooklyn!" Cryme Tyme's music hits, and The Nation of Domination 2007 make their way down the ramp. Cryme Tyme climb into the ring where Steve Boz and Eddie Venom are already waiting for them. Dude, seriously, Eddie Venom? Talk about product placement. Shouldn't your tag team partner be named Peter Spider? Or Harry Goblin? Okay, maybe not so much with that last one. I'm just sayin', is all. Anyway, JTG hits the corner to give some love to the crowd while Shad Gaspard eyes the competition. All four men seem ready for action, so the referee signals for the bell, and this match is officially underway.
Gaspard and Venom, the big men of each team, head to their respective corners, so it looks like it's going to be the little guys, JTG and Boz, to start the match. JTG and Boz circle each other to start before locking each other up in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. JTG muscles Boz to the ropes, breaks the hold, and tries to whip Boz to the opposite ropes, but Boz reverses and instead whips JTG to the ropes. Boz waits for JTG to rebound and goes for a clothesline, but JTG ducks underneath Boz's arm. JTG hits the opposite ropes while Boz spins around and ducks his head to telegraph the back body drop. JTG charges towards Boz, leap frogs over him, and hits the opposite ropes as Boz once again spins around. JTG comes off the ropes and levels Boz with a flying corkscrew shoulder block. By the way, Grisham and Coachman have spent the entire first two minutes of this match putting over Lillian Garcia for being touch as nails and working through a torn ACL. Um, guys, she's an announcer. Unless her ACL is in her throat, it's really not all that spectacular. And if her ACL is in her throat, well, um, that's just not right. Kinda hot, but just not right.
Anyway, both men get back to their feet and Boz charges towards JTG, but JTG catches him with a back body drop. JTG drags Boz back to his feet, whips him to the corner, and charges towards him. Boz gets a boot up and takes aim for JTG's face, but JTG baseball slides under Boz's leg and out of the ring. JTG lands on the arena floor, turns to face the ring, grabs Boz's legs, and sends him face-first down to the mat. JTG climbs back into the ring and heads up to the top turnbuckle as Boz gingerly climbs back to his feet. Boz turns to face JTG and is met with a flying second rope leg lariat. Shades of the great Rob Conway! The spirit of the Con-Man is alive on Heat! "Just look at me! Oh, just look at me! Ain't I a sight to see?"
Sorry about that. I got a little carried away there.
Anyway, JTG grabs Boz by the hair, drags him back to his feet, and guides him over to the corner. JTG tags Gaspard into the match and then traps Boz in the corner and gives him a back elbow shot to the head as Gaspard climbs into the ring. Gaspard whips JTG to the middle of the ring, pulls him back, lifts him up, and powerbombs him into Boz in the corner. Well that was certainly… um… creative. Gaspard kicks Boz in the gut and connects with a spectacular butterfly suplex. DAMN. When was the last time you saw a man that size hit a move like that? I mean, he's no Mike Awesome, but DAMN. Hella sweet right there. Boz bounces over to the corner and tags Venom into the match while Gaspard gets back to his feet. Boz rolls out of the ring as Venom reluctantly heads for Gaspard. Venom takes a swing at Gaspard, but Gaspard ducks underneath Venom's arm and catches him with an atomic drop. Venom tries to walk it off but instead walks right into a snake eyes from Gaspard. Gaspard hits the ropes and connects with a running forearm shot to Venom's back. Looks like Venom wasn't in position for that one. I'm guessing Gaspard was planning to hit a Big Boot but had to modify the plan when Venom turned the other way. Anyway, Gaspard tags JTG into the match and climbs out of the ring as JTG climbs into the ring.
JTG drags Venom back to his feet but sends him right back down to the mat with a snap mare takeover. JTG steps on Venom's face… twice… waits for him to get back up to his hands and knees, hits the ropes, and connects with a boot to the side of Venom's head. JTG pins venom but only gets a two count before Venom gets a shoulder up. JTG gets back to his feet, waits for Venom to do the same, and hits the ropes, but Boz comes across the apron and connects with a knee shot to JTG's lower back. JTG turns and punches Boz off the ring apron and down to the arena floor, but when he turns around again Venom catches him in a bear hug. JTG breaks the hold with three punches to Venom's face, but Venom fights back with a knee shot to JTG's gut. Venom whips JTG to the ropes, waits for him to rebound, and goes for a clothesline, but JTG ducks underneath Venom's arm. JTG hits the opposite rope and charges towards Venom, but Venom spins around and catches JTG in a second bear hug. JTG breaks the hold with three elbow shots to the side of Venoms head and ducks the subsequent clothesline attempt from Venom. JTG rolls to his own corner and tags Gaspard into the match.
Gaspard climbs into the ring and levels Venom with a clothesline as JTG climbs out onto the ring apron. Boz climbs into the ring to aid his partner, but Gaspard greets him with a clothesline of his own. Venom makes his way back up to his feet, but Gaspard quickly drops him back down to the mat with a second clothesline. Boz then regains his vertical base, but Gaspard immediately corrects that situation with a another clothesline. By the way, Boz sold that second clothesline in a really bizarre manner. I think he was trying to go inside out, but instead he rotated on a different axis and more or less executed a corkscrew Flair flop. Bet you never thought you'd see that move called, now did you? Anyway, Gaspard whips off his wife beater, and that's evidently his version of Angle dropping the straps. So yeah, Boz and Venom are now MONUMENTALLY screwed. As if they weren't before. Gaspard drags Venom back to his feet and levels him with a sidewalk slam. Gaspard clotheslines Boz out of the ring, hits the ropes, and drops an elbow down onto Venom's chest. Gaspard calls for the finish and waits for JTG to climb into the ring. Venom eventually climbs back to his feet and walks right into the G9. Gaspard covers Venom and gets the three count. Cryme Tyme's music hits as JTG and Gaspard celebrate their victory.
We finish up with the Divas: All Grown Up commercial for WrestleMania 23, live this Sunday, April 1 at 7e/5p, only on pay-per-view.
Match Result: Shad Gaspard defeats Eddie Venom with the G9. Match Length: 4:36 Best Spot: Gaspard's butterfly suplex
Segment 4: Benjamin Gets Crazy (Super Crazy vs. Shelton Benjamin)
We start off with a Grisham and Coachman running down the card for WrestleMania 23:
John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels for the WWE Championship
Batista vs. The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship
Bobby Lashley with Donald Trump vs. Umaga with Armando Estrada and Vince McMahon with Special Guest Referee Stone Cold Steve Austin in the Battle of the Billionaires Hair vs. Hair Match
Edge vs. C.M. Punk vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton in the Money in the Bank Match
The ECW Originals (Rob Van Dam, Sabu, Tommy Dreamer, and Sabu) vs. The New Breed (Elijah Burke, Matt Striker, Kevin Thorn, and Marcus Cor Von) in a Eight-Man Tag Team Match
Melina vs. Ashley for the WWE Women's Championship in a Lumberjill Match
Kane vs. Umaga
Chris Benoit vs. MVP for the United States Championship
We move on to our MAIN EVENT! I think Todd Grisham just pulled something. "Ain't no stoppin' me now!" Shelton Benjamin's music hits, and the missing piece from this year's Money in the Bank match makes his way down the ramp. Seriously, how the hell do you have a Money in the Bank match without Shelton Benjamin? He's the freaking star of those matches? Idiots. Anyway, Benjamin climbs into the ring and hits the corner to pose for the crowd. "I am SUPER! I am CRAZY! I am SUPER CRAZY!" Hmm, sounds like somebody got some new ring music. And I'm just praying it's not Jim Freaking Duggan. Much to my relief, Super Crazy makes his way down the ramp, slides into the ring, and hits his killer head-stand forward flip kip-up. Looks like Crazy is sporting some new, Phoenix-inspired ring attire. Don't worry, brother. I'm sure Jean will come back to life at some point. And then die again. And then come back again. That's what we call the circle of life. Anyway, both men seem ready for action, so the referee signals for the bell, and this match is officially underway.
Crazy and Benjamin head for each other right from the start and Crazy goes for a collar-and-elbow tie-up, but Benjamin catches him with a knee shot to the gut. Benjamin traps Crazy in the corner and gives him three more stomps to the gut. Benjamin grabs Crazy by the hair, drags him back up to his feet, and levels him with a single punch. Benjamin again drags Crazy back up to his feet, whips him to the ropes, waits for him to rebound, and drops him with a back elbow shot to the face. Benjamin once again drags Crazy back up to his feet, whips him to the ropes, waits for him to rebound, and goes for a hip toss, but Crazy counters in the air and turns it into a deep arm drag on Benjamin. Hella sweet. Benjamin gets back up to his feet and charges towards Crazy, but Crazy spins around Benjamin and catches him with a modified arm throw. Both men get back to their feet and Crazy charges towards Benjamin. Crazy leaps into in inverted body scissors, pushes of the mat, and catches Benjamin with a flying snap mare takeover. No freaking way. That's the spot the Rey Mysterio usually does with a bulldog, but Crazy just did it with a flying snap mare takeover. This shit is insane. Crazy hits the ropes, charges towards Benjamin, and connects with a basement drop kick to Benjamin's face. I shit you not, this is like the coolest thing I've ever seen. Crazy covers Benjamin but only gets a two count before Benjamin kicks out.
Crazy drags Benjamin back to his feet and tries to whip him to the ropes, but Benjamin reverses and instead whips Crazy to the ropes. Benjamin ducks his head to telegraph the back body drop, so Crazy catches the ropes to halt his momentum and then kicks Benjamin right in the chest. Benjamin steadies himself on the ropes as Crazy charges towards him, but Benjamin catches crazy with a back body drop over the top rope. Crazy spins in the air and lands on the ring apron facing Benjamin. Benjamin catches Crazy with a knee shot to the gut, takes a few steps back, FLIES OVER THE TOP ROPE, and goes for a sunset flip powerbomb onto the arena floor, but Crazy hangs on to the top rope. Crazy gives Benjamin two punches to the face and a STIFF kick to the head. Benjamin staggers about in a stupor and gives Crazy time to hit an ASAI MOONSAULT! ASAI MOONSAULT ON HEAT! DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? YES! The crowd just wet themselves. I've never heard a crowd this hot for a match on Heat. Somebody remind me why these guys aren't booked at WrestleMania.
Anyway, Crazy drags Benjamin back to his feet and gives him a forearm shot to the back, but Benjamin catches Crazy with a forearm shot to the face before rolling back into the ring. Crazy climbs up onto the ring apron, grabs Shelton by the back of the head, and jumps back down to the arena floor in order to drive Shelton's neck down onto the top rope. Benjamin drops down to the mat as Crazy climbs back up onto the ring apron and heads for the top turnbuckle. Crazy is all the way up top, but Benjamin gets back to his feet, LEAPS TO THE TOP ROPE, AND HITS A SPRINGBOARD ENZUIGIRI! Crazy falls to the mat, but Benjamin lands on his feet. Sweet Baby James. This is absolutely unreal. I can't believe these guys got shafted out of a spot at WrestleMania. Anyway, Benjamin covers Crazy but only gets a two count before Crazy gets a shoulder up.
Benjamin gets back to his feet and gives Crazy a kick to the back followed by eleven mounted punches. The referee pulls Benjamin off Crazy and gives Crazy time to climb up to his hands and knees, but Benjamin charges right back at Crazy and kicks him in the ribs. Benjamin traps Crazy in the corner and uses his boot to choke Crazy against the ring apron. Benjamin grabs Crazy by the hair, drags him back to his feet, and guides him to the middle of the ring, but Crazy fights back with a punch and three forearm shots to Benjamin's face. Crazy hits the ropes at charges at Benjamin, but Benjamin connects with a super kick that damn near decapitates Crazy. Benjamin covers Crazy but only gets a two count before Crazy gets a shoulder up.
Benjamin raises Crazy up into a seated position, applies a rear sleeper hold, and pulls Crazy back down to the mat. Crazy eventually fights back up to his feet and breaks the hold with three elbow shots to Benjamin's gut, but Benjamin retaliates with three knee shots to Crazy's gut. Benjamin whips Crazy to the corner, charges after him, and connects with the Shelton Splash. Crazy falls to the mat and Benjamin presses his advantage by grinding his forearm into Crazy's face. Benjamin drags Crazy back up to his feet and gives him a knee shot to the gut followed by a clubbing forearm shot to back, but Crazy responds with a head butt to Benjamin's gut. Both men are on their knees as Crazy punches Benjamin in the face, but Benjamin responds with a punch to Crazy's face. Crazy retaliates with a head butt to Benjamin, but Benjamin answers with another punch to Crazy's face. Crazy lands another punch to Benjamin's face, and Benjamin lands another punch to Crazy's face. Crazy connects with one more weary punch to Benjamin, but Benjamin musters the strength to connect with one more punch to Crazy. Crazy puts an end to the brawl with five rapid-fire forearm shots to Benjamin's face. Crazy gets back to his feet, hits the ropes, and charges at Benjamin, but Benjamin springs back to his feet and catches Crazy with a thunderous spinebuster. Benjamin covers Crazy but only gets a two count before Crazy gets a shoulder up. Benjamin gets back to his feet, drags Crazy off the canvas, and connects with a powerbomb pin. Benjamin has Crazy pinned but only gets a two count before Crazy kicks out.
Benjamin drops down to the mat and again applies a rear sleeper hold to Crazy. Crazy stubbornly refuses to submit, so Benjamin transitions to a modified rear chin lock. It's basically a Camel Clutch except that one of Benjamin's knees is still on the mat. Benjamin eventually gets that knee off the mat and know has Crazy in a modified Camel Clutch. Crazy still refuses to submit and finally fights back to his feet. Crazy breaks the hold with seven slaps to Benjamin's face and then presses his advantage with a shoulder to Benjamin's gut. Crazy connects with two more punches to Benjamin's face and tries to whip Benjamin to the ropes, but Benjamin reverses and instead whips Crazy to the ropes. Crazy comes off the ropes and Benjamin goes for a clothesline, but Crazy ducks underneath Benjamin's arm. Crazy comes off the opposite ropes, charges at Shelton, and connects with a tilt-o-whirl head scissors takedown. Benjamin springs back to his feet and charges right into a standing drop kick to the face from Crazy. Benjamin again regains his vertical base, but this time Crazy levels him with a running clothesline. Crazy sets up Benjamin for a suplex, but Benjamin floats over and goes for a neck breaker Crazy counters the neck breaker, shoves Benjamin to the ropes, waits for him to rebound, and connects with a spinning heel kick. Crazy hits a standing moonsault and pins Benjamin but only gets a two count before Benjamin kicks out.
Crazy heads over to the corner and climbs up to the top turnbuckle, but Benjamin springs to his feet and leaps up to the top rope in a single bound. Dude, Superman's got nothin' on this guy. Crazy punches Benjamin off the top rope and Benjamin stumbles all the way across the ring. Benjamin charges back towards Crazy, but Crazy comes off the top rope with a missile drop kick that connects with Shelton's face. Crazy covers Benjamin and gets the three count. Holy crap. I'm exhausted. Crazy's music hits as the referee raises his hand in victory. Crazy rolls out of the ring and heads back up the ramp as Benjamin lies motionless on the mat. You literally can't ask for anything more from an eight minute match. Seriously, holy crap. Just… holy crap.
Match Result: Super Crazy defeats Shelton Benjamin with a missile drop kick. Match Length: 8:10 Best Spot: Crazy's Asai Moonsault / Benjamin's top rope springboard enzuigiri (tie)
Okay kids, that's it for this edition of Heat. Hope you had fun. Feel free to email me with any comments or suggestions. I'll be out of town next weekend, but one of the other fine members of the 411 staff will be covering the Heat Report duties in my absence. I'll see you back here in two weeks.
