Friday Night Fury: Smackdown 06.04.07

Posted by Arnold Furious on 04.06.2007

All is not well in the Smackdown kingdom

Friday Night Fury: Smackdown 06.04.07

All is not well in the Smackdown kingdom

Random irritations and annoyances this week;

1. People pitching Taker-Dave as MOTY. In what reality? Seriously now, you're just feeling this way because the finish was hot but it was also predictable and the match that preceeded it was average. On the upside it didn't suck, which it could have given the participants. But not sucking isn't a qualifying factor, by itself, to be match of the year. It wasn't even match of the night, by a long shot. Cena-Michaels was a better built match with more consistent performances. In particular the finishing sequence seemed fresh and the outcome came as somewhat of a surprise, seeing as Shawn had pretty much won everyone over during the course of the night including some of the more cynical HBK-haters out there. Wrestlemania though, it always divides people. Good show this year. Not great but good enough to live up to the name.

2. Pittsburgh Pirates. I get all happy during the start of the baseball season. This could be the year that the Houston Astros finally bag that title and give the club the World Series I feel it needs to contend with some of the bigger names in the team's history. But alas, three games into the season Houston sat at 0-3 thanks to a sweep at the hands of Pittsburgh. Thanks a lot guys. Way to ruin my season before we even get underway. First live game of the season for me, as a viewer, was fantastic though as my perennial picks for success the Mets absolutely destroyed the Cards 10-0. What an awesome game. So while Houston stands at 0-3 so do the Cards so no ground is lost. Plus the Cards looking incredibly bad and I had a few chuckles because of that. Life is good.

3. While my beloved Everton are performing superbly and won again tonight, 4-1 against a struggling Fulham, I'm rather annoyed that we're not up for three London clubs going down this year. Looks like Charlton might escape and screw with my happiness. I was well up for three London clubs getting relegated. There's too many in that top division. I don't like West Ham going down because they seem like quite a pleasant bunch but perhaps getting relegated will straighten out some of those attitudes. CoughAntonFerdinandcough.

4. Iran. Backpeddling now doesn't help matters. Let's face it, you've behaved like incorrigible jackasses. The only reason you're now chickening out of a potential set to is because you saw what happened to Saddam Hussein and Iraq and don't want it to happen to you. Well, keep living above that oil with a bad attitude and sooner or later the USA will come knocking. Especially when you're talking about wiping out Israel. Speaking of which, those Jews had better think about moving out when the oil runs out because if they think they'll get the same protection from the West once there's nothing worth having in the Middle East they're sorely mistaken. That place is headed for an enormous war sooner or later and chances are the US won't be interested unless there's oil to be had.

5. Pop stars covering Walk This Way. Ok, do they even know what the song is about? "You ain't seen nothin' till you're down on the muffin"? "Met a cheerleader was a real young bleeder"? It's a song about learning how to fuck, basically. And that makes it a good idea to be used by two girl groups because? I hate covers most of the time but pop stars should be prohibitied from covering rock songs unless they actually know what the song is about.

6. Timbaland. Added after the last two WWE shows. Swiftly heading towards the top of my "people I want to punch in the face" list. Go away please.

We're in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Hosts are Michael Cole & JBL.

MR KENNEDY v JEFF HARDY

What brand split? Kennedy shows footage of him killing the midget at Wrestlemania. He reminds he beat seven other superstars…CHU, oh, wait. He tells the crowd to refer to him as Mr Money in the Bank. Cole points out he could claim the title shot right here tonight. He says this is the beginning of the Kennedy era and people will be comparing it to Hogan and Austin's runs at the top. Jeffykins is still selling injuries from Wrestlemania despite not doing so on Raw. Fraggle. JBL points out how Jeff is dumb and should have won the MITB because he had plenty of time when he killed Edge but he wanted to show off like a jerk. As I'm sure I've pointed out before Jeff's white hankerchief hanging out of his back pocket means he's into mutual masterbation with guys. Hey, if he wants me to stop taking the piss out of it he should stop wearing it. Jeff hits a few high spots around the ropes to pop the crowd and we head into an early ad break. That was quick. How has Jeff survived Wellness this long? He's pretty much the poster boy for fucking up because he's on too many drugs. Jeff goes up again, it's like some kind of mental disorder. Kennedy goes up after him, backdrops him off and then destroys his spine. Kennedy works that body part while Cole & JBL talk about the history of MITB and remind us how Edge cashed in his MITB opportunity right after an Elimination Chamber. What would be neat is if Kennedy spent months working towards a match with the Undertaker by feuding with, say, Kane to build up his abilities working against a similar opponent. Only for Taker to lose the belt and Kennedy would have to start his preperation all over again with a series against an opponent similar to the new champion. After all, he does come off as a student of the game. Meanwhile back in the match Jeff is hitting all his usual stuff as you'd expect in the WWE where they like their guys to have trademark moves and largely stick to those. Whisper in the Wind sets up the Swanton but Jeff misses. Kennedy kicks his legs out and short DDT's him for the pin at 12.55.

Winner: Mr Kennedy via pinfall . It would have been nice if Kennedy's backwork had led to the finish rather than knocking the legs away and hitting a move to the head. While I'm sure the impact also effects the back in both cases it would have been a more coherent story with a strike, say a kick, to the back or perhaps finishing with a spinebuster. **.

POST MATCH Hornswoggle goes after Kennedy but it's only a distraction so Finlay can nail him in the back of the head with the shillelagh. Finlay lays in the intense threatening saying that Kennedy will be watching Wrestlemania 24 from a wheelchair if he dares to touch Finlay's little man again. Ahem.

SHILL – Wrestlemania. We see newspaper headlines this time including USA Today.

BACKSTAGE Teddy Long sucks up to Kristal some more. She has a card for him but he has to wait for later to open it. In comes Mr Kennedy to demand a match with Hornswoggle. Long books it for next week. Long makes it a 2 on 1 match with Finlay as well. And that's tabernacle. Kennedy isn't terribly impressed. Long opens the card up and overacts badly to camera because there's no one there.

ELSEWHERE Ashley Massaro runs into that producer guy. Timbaland. Much like the worthless segment he was in on Raw this is terrible. Jillian Hall comes in to sing for him. Even Timbaland thinks that it's bad and homosexually takes Ashley away instead. Timbaland looks like a coloured Pat Patterson. If he's such a huge WWE fan then surely he should know how much fans hate people wasting time on shows. He's already outworn his welcome. And all the acts he's responsible for suck.

Sidenote – tip for people trying to pronounce Glasgow, in particular Americans. Try saying it like this – "Glazz Go". Right now you're saying it like it's spelt. This is wrong.

CHRIS BENOIT v THE MIZ

Justin X. Roberts is polluting Smackdown this week. Where's Tony Chimmel? This isn't for the US title, not that it would need to be. The gulf in talent here is enormous. Benoit decides to start showing Miz a few things. Back suplex, chops, more chops, backdrop, forearm, more chops, snap suplex. Miz could learn something from this. See how all that stuff doesn't suck? Attaboy! Maybe one day you'll be about 10% as good as that. If you work hard. Benoit decides a more direct lesson is called for and slaps the taste of Miz's mouth. That taste was spunk. How else could he get on TV? Miz tries to pull hair but Benoit is saved by male patent baldness and his instinct to chop everything that comes within two feet of him. Nancy Sullivan has taken some serious chops in the middle of the night over the years. Miz shows off that he's learnt a cravat but Cole doesn't know what it is. "European headlock", Michael? Even Zach Gowen knew what a cravat was and he only had one leg. Miz invents himself a new corner clothesline where he jumps through the ropes and rides them at the same time. I can almost feel Miz improving by working Benoit. If they're serious about pushing him one day they should probably keep booking him against good wrestlers. ROLLING GERMANS~! Miz grabs the ropes so Benoit clubs his back until he lets go, which earns him another German suplex. Up he goes for the Flying Wolverine but MVP is here and he pulls Miz out of the way. Benoit takes the head first plunge because he had no time to adjust and Miz gets the pin????? At 7.28.

Winner: The Miz via pinfall . Hang on, that can't be right? Let's just rewind here and shit, he did actually pin him. Well fuck me. *1/2. Miz is actually improving, slightly, and might not be a total waste of a zygote although I'll hold any praise until he can crack two snowflakes. MVP's timing and positioning was perfect btw, as you'd expect from one of the best up and comers in the business. Even if Jimmy Korderas had turned too early, which he didn't, MVP was clear. Miz gets a title shot next week? Logically you'd think so. Or we get a tag match.

BACKSTAGE Booker & Sharmell. Remember at Wrestlemania Booker turned down MITB to save Sharmell. The Queen felt violated. Booker promises to take it out on Matt and utters the line of "someone is going to get hurt". How little you know, Book.

MATT HARDY v KING BOOKER w/Queen Sharmell

Booker looks REALLY serious here. Cole comments on it. Booker is aggressive from the bell, which leads to a brawl. Booker tags Matt in the mouth so hard it draws blood. Matt knows he's in a fight and gets the pace going hitting a bulldog for 2. He might need a quick pin because Booker is angry. Booker is also very competent in the ring and uses his trademark kicks followed by choking to keep Matt subdued. Sharmell slaps Matt in the face as a receipt for him touching her at Mania. I'd have taken that as a trade off. Booker with a spinebuster and he has this well in hand. Sharmell wants more punishment though so Booker isn't going for pins. Remember he said "someone is going to get hurt". He wants Matt to suffer for what he did. Both as punishment AND as a lesson to others not to lay a finger on his lady. Booker gets Matt grounded and fires away with punches. Sharmell looks very happy. Matt gets a comeback on the go and fires off a few clotheslines. He looks cautious about getting close to Booker though because Booker means business tonight. Yodelling legdrop gives him distance and impact at the same time. It also gets him a near fall. Booker once again goes to the kicks to stop the comeback. Those educated feet are a massive benefit as they always give him a reach advantage. Booker slows the pace when he takes over and makes a point of stretching Matt on the mat, er, canvas. Sharmell is starting to get concerned that Matt isn't a) dead or b) defeated. Her frustration grows every time Matt gets an smell of a comeback. He picks up a Side Effect out of nothing for 2. This gives him set up time for the Twist of Fate but Booker pushes him off. Axe kick misses and Matt catches him off balance with a roll up for 2. Booker once again goes to his #1 weapon by kicking Matt in the face for 2. Matt hangs Booker on the ropes and that gives him space for the Twist of Fate. Booker counters into the a backslide but Matt gets out and rolls him up for the upset win at 9.35.

Winner: Matt Hardy via pinfall **3/4. Nice little story on that match. It made sense why they were fighting and they put on a good story from there. I love it when booking is good.

POST MATCH the story continues as Sharmell, looking really pissed off, jumps in there and gets the mic. Sharmell breaks character and points out that Booker didn't exactly dish out any retribution tonight. She calls Booker a disappointment to her and to himself before storming off in a huff. Great segment. Crowd heels all over Booker, which is harsh but then I guess he's not been a nice guy for a long time. I dig the angle but I don't want them split up…ever.

SHILL – Backlash, April 29th 2007. No rumour of what the main event is going to be yet although you'd suspect a re-match from Wrestlemania from at least one of the two big brands.

FROM THE VAULT – Hurricane/Shannon Moore (who is an MF'er) v Jamie Noble/Tajiri w/Nidia. Oh this is nice. Back from when there used to be a cruiserweight division that people cared about. Why did they get shot of Nidia anyway? She and Noble got nicely over with their little Southern act. I guess she just wasn't good looking enough for the WWE. That should bother you, I know it bothers me. A manager shouldn't need to be attractive. It made more sense that she wasn't that good looking. It's WEIRD seeing a motivated Shannon Moore with no bodybuilding, cough, where he could actually hit stuff. In fact all these guys look great. Why does Helms do about quarter of his offence since he dumped the Hurricane gimmick anyway? Nidia messing with poor ickle Shannon ("social disease" – Tazz) thus setting him up to get kicked Tajiri is awesome psychology on everyone's part. Why can't we have cruiserweights nowadays? This just really makes me miss everyone in this match. Well, not Shannon because he sucks now but you get the picture. I miss good cruiserweights in the WWE. Hurricane-Noble was always a really solid match. Anything with Tajiri was always fun. Tarantula~! Tajiri takes the Hurri-chokeslam when he comes down though and Shannon flukes a roll up on Noble for the win. Post match Matt Hardy runs out here to pose a lot and celebrate with the winners before forcing them to lift him up on their shoulders. Hahaha, what a jerk. I miss Mattitude V1 as well. This was a capsule look at the WWE doing something right. It made me feel quite sad that none of these hot angles went anywhere. I want Mattitude V1 back. ASAP.

KANE v DAVE TAYLOR w/William Regal

The British double team before the bell but Kane just no sells everything including Regal using a chair. I guess they want to build him up after the Wrestlemania job but why do it at the expense of a perfectly good tag team? Especially when Regal is man enough to go toe to toe with Kane anyway. Bullshit.

BACKSTAGE Booker tries to comfort Sharmell, who is in tears. Booker says he got caught up in the moment and cares more about Sharmell than anything as was evidenced by MITB. Sharmell further heels on Booker by slapping him. RUDO~!

PROMO VIDEO – Mark Henry. Aw man, his 10 year contract was up last year. Why is he still here? He's coming back apparently.

PAUL LONDON/BRIAN KENDRICK w/Ashley Massaro v CHAVO GUERRERO/GREGORY HELMS

Just as a bemoan the lack of cruiserweight wrestling in the WWE here comes some cruiserweight wrestling! Helms looks like a bitch for losing the title to Chavo and then hanging around with him though. Deuce & Domino come out here to watch this. I thought they'd be released by now. They're still not over. Helms is sporting a black bandana, which means he's into pain and S & M. Gay. The heels isolate London and double suplex him. London is working on one of those Keanu Reeves beards. I can't believe he cut his hair just as it was getting long enough to be classic 80's rock & wrestling hair. The contrast between this and the cruiserweight tag they showed in From the Vault is worrying. The match from years ago was much more exciting and better received. Kendrick gets the tag and starts hitting dropkicks on everything that moves. DOUBLE TOPE~! I love those stereo tag moves, especially from high fliers. Londrick have their act down pat. Ad break and Kendrick gets heat during that. Helms catches him with a neat wind up backbreaker. JBL mentions the name Guerrero means warrior. CHUG! We get talking about Londrick being tag champions for so very long. They've almost had the belts for a year now. They're still not that over sadly because they've not beaten anyone bar MNM and only had one really memorable defence, at Armageddon. Beat the Hardys two on two in a PPV match that cracks ***1/2 and we're talking. London gets the hot tag and that means spinning heel kicks and dropsaults ahoy! Helms gets the double stomp but Chavo makes the save. Chavo picks him off and looks for the Gory bomb but London counters into an armdrag! LUCHA-LONDON! Helms catches him with the Eye of the Hurricane but Kendrick makes the last second save. Chavo up top looking for the frogsplash but Kendrick sprints across the ring to stop him. The heels go to kill him but London comes over and Helms is picked off with SUPER SLICED BREAD/POWERBOMB for the pin at 13.18.

Winners: Londrick via awesome . ***1/4. Now THAT was more like it. Actual realistic potential threats to the belts dispatched in a quality and professional match. Londrick can have great matches if they're given stronger opposition. Deuce & Domino aren't it btw. They're up next by the looks of them standing at ringside. Re-match of this bout next week would be good. Helms & Chavo are really strong guys in terms of ability and Londrick are really exciting in the final third.

NEXT WEEK – Londrick v Deuce & Domino for the titles. Not too bothered. I guess it would make sense for Londrick to lose the titles and then regain them on the next PPV. But Deuce & Domino aren't really good enough to entertain people and have that big pay off match at the end of this. Chavo & Helms is a better bet. Build them up as a team first, obviously. Their loss here could be put down to inexperience as a team.

BACKSTAGE Booker shouts at himself. "Somebody gonna pay for this". Cole really hits the nail on the head by saying that Booker is trying to figure out a way to show Sharmell he means business. Although Booker himself doesn't really hint at that with his ranting.

PROMO TIME – Undertaker

The title win has added an extra two minutes to Undertaker's entrance. Before he utters a word out comes DAVE BATISTA. He is MIGHTY~! Crowd starts chanting for Taker, possibly just to piss Dave off because he has the mic. "Congratulations. I want my re-match" – Dave being straight to the point. He drops the mic and walks off. Taker is staring at him walking off when KING BOOKAH jumps him from behind. Taker doesn't take kindly to his appearance and beats the crap out of him. TOMBSTONE ON THE ANNOUNCE TABLE! And it doesn't move one inch. Booker is down holding his neck and now Sharmell realises what she's done. Tears are forthcoming. Booker did an awesome job of struggling in the Tombstone while keeping it safe. Possibly the best I've ever seen. Arms waving around everywhere. Again though, the Undertaker said nothing. It strikes me as somewhat weird because he's been pretty chatty for a long time and suddenly they don't have him talking at all?

The 411 –

From the Vault was better more fun than the show this week. Which is weird. That said Londrick v Chavo/Helms was strong and Matt-Booker was good as well. Thumbs up then. Be interested to see where this Booker angle goes and the tag titles interest me slightly. Unlike Raw they've quickly moved away from Wrestlemania. Monday felt like it dwelled on celebrating the biggest show of the year. While that happened on Smackdown they were also interesting in planning out some new angles, which needs to happen because it's only 3 weeks to the next PPV.