411’s WWE Heat Report 04.06.07

Posted by Daniel Wilcox on 04.08.2007

“Wait a minute, I thought you were Small’s lackey?!”

411's WWE Heat Report 04.06.07

Teaser: "Wait a minute, I thought you were Small's lackey?!"

Regular readers of the Heat Report will know that your usual reporter Scott Slimmer is out of town this weekend and therefore is not able to produce the Heat Report so I stepped in. I bet Slimmer is in a bar somewhere laughing at me for being so stupid to agree to fill in. Why would I want to do a Hear Report you might ask? Well I was hoping to see some Cryme Tyme antics, more great wrestling from the likes of Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas and Super Crazy. As it turns out we've got a Viscera squash and Eugene vs. Chris Masters to look forward to. On the bright side, no Jim Duggan. From here on in, my thoughts will be in italics.

Tonight on Heat;

Eugene vs. Chris Masters!
Candice Michelle vs. Victoria!
Viscera in action!
Kenny Dykstra vs. Val Venis!

Awesome, Heat still has the same kick ass opening video it had 6 years ago when I last watched it. This is the first edition of Heat since WrestleMania 23, taped LIVE(!) before Monday's Raw. Todd Grisham and Jonathon Coachman are your hosts, Lilian Garcia is your ring announcer and Chris Masters is here to open the show.

Chris Masters vs. Eugene

Fair pop for Eugene who has no hair and looks like he should be the third member of the Highlanders. The bell rings and Eugene hugs the referee to start. Masters however, refuses to shake Eugene's hand (to his bewilderment) and they lock up centre of the ring but the Masterpiece overpowers Eugene into the corner. Masters breaks cleanly if somewhat aggressively and pauses to show off his Herculean physique which petrifies Eugene. Eugene responds by shaking his ass in Masters' direction and running around in circles. Lock up again and Masters grabs Eugene's left arm into an arm wrench that sends Eugene to his knees. The Masterpiece uses his own knee to add pressure to the hold but the crowd rallies behind Eugene who attempts to roll out of it and when that fails bites the hand of Chris Masters instead and that allows him to counter into an arm wrench of his own. Into a side headlock now until Masters pushes Eugene off and then Eugene runs into a big shoulder block from Masters that takes down Eugene. Eugene begs off into the corner but Masters no mercy and stomps him in the corner, picks him up and slams him before dropping a thick leg across the chest of Eugene. Masters covers, hooks the leg but only gets a 2 count. Now slightly frustrated, the masterpiece delivers some stiff punches and forearms to the head and chest of Eugene to big heel heat. Masters now directs his aggression to the right leg of Eugene and hits some nasty looking knees to the thigh. Now Masters drags Eugene up by his head (because he has no hair) and hits a nice hangman's neckbreaker. Another cover, this time with no leg hook and Eugene kicks out. Masters starts wrenching the neck as the crowd gets behind Eugene again. This allows him to fight to his feet and attempt to battle out of the move with a pair of well-placed elbows to the ribs of Masters but his comeback is cut short as Masters gauges the eyes of Eugene to regain control. Only Masters makes the mistake of taking Eugene over to the corner and ramming his bald head off the turnbuckles, only for it to be no sold. Masters tries it again but once more, no sell. Finger point by Eugene, blocks a right and fires back with shots of his own! Right, left, right, left, jab, winds it up, BIG right! Masters is only reeling though, so Eugene hoists him up into a fireman's carry and there's the airplane spin! Both men are dizzy but Eugene hits a shoulder tackle off the ropes and covers with the leg hooked for 2. Eugene sets up for the Rock Bottom but Masters avoids it with elbows to the side of the head and then tosses Eugene into the corner. Masters is poised and now goes for the Masterlock! He has it locked in. Grish points out that only one man has ever broken it and that's Lashley. Eugene seems to be fading but the crowd are behind him and he starts to fight back but it appears it won't be enough as he drops to one knee. Referee Marty Alias checks the hand and Eugene is holding on in there. Back up to both feet now for Eugene! Masters cranks up the pressure and now Eugene is out. Referee checks the arm and it drops giving Chris Masters the submission victory.

Chris Masters beats Eugene by submission @ 5:30!

I'm actually quite surprised to see that Eugene is still very well over with live audiences as a face; it seems everyone forgot about that poor attempt at a heel turn a few months back. Masters needed to regain some credibility after his Masterlock was broken by Bobby Lashley on Raw a few weeks ago and even though this was only on Heat and against Eugene it certainly won't hurt.

The match itself was quite decent with Eugene working in his usually comedy spots in the early stages before a brief spell of Masters dominating before the comeback and then the finish.

Grisham and Coach put over the effort of Eugene and then the Masterlock.

Still to come on Heat – Val Venis and Kenny Dykstra go one-on-one in our main event!

Shill – Airing April 15th on wwe.com is the next edition of WWE uncut featuring Hulk Hogan discussing how his career is winding down. Shame.

Candice Michelle vs. Victoria

Candice is looking gorgeous as always and gets big face heat. Victoria comes down looking like she means business, but hot at the same time. Coach put over her as a former Women's champion so this will be quite the tough test for Candice. Bell rings and they tie-up. Victoria quickly locks on a side headlock and gets a headlock takeover on Candice as Coach and Grisham tell us how Candice has improved in leaps and bounds as a wrestler of recent months. Referee Jack Doane checks Candice's shoulders aren't on the mat, which they aren't, but Candice counters and locks a leg scissors on Victoria who's shoulders are down and get a 1 count before Victoria kicks out. Shoulders down again but Victoria quickly powers out and grabs another headlock. Takeover again by Victoria and this time Candice has to pull Victoria's hair to counter again into the head scissors and Victoria again powers out. Snapmare takedown by Candice and follows it up with an over-the-top neckbreaker. Side headlock this time applied by Candice, but Victoria tries to break it by lifting Candice up only for her to roll through with the hold still applied and now Candice has Victoria grounded. As Coach tells us about his dream that was very similar to this match, Victoria hits a stiff knee to the back of Candice's head that forces her to break the hold. Stiff kick to the face by Victoria who now grabs Candice by her hair and tosses her halfway across the ring and gets a telling off from the referee. Victoria sits on the back of Candice and wrenches back the head of her opponent and now tries to pull apart the facial features of Candice. Referee doesn't like that and starts the 5 count. Victoria releases the hold at 4 and then applies the same thing again and breaks again at 4. Victoria pulls Candice off her feet by the hair but Candice counters and comes over the top of Victoria but runs into an elbow by Victoria. Cover gets 2 for Victoria. In a rare example of continuity, Victoria taunts Candice by asking her how her new nose is. Remember way back in November of last year Candice had to undergo surgery when Victoria broke her nose with a stiff boot to the face. Victoria goes for a kick but Candice catches the leg and dragon screws Victoria. Coach points out that that knee of Victoria has been a weak spot of hers for a long time, hence the knee brace on it. Victoria sells the move by limping towards Candice who connects with several right hands that have Victoria reeling back into the corner. Candice sends Victoria across the ring but she reverses and it's Candice who ends up in the corner. Victoria charges and takes and elbow to the jaw from Candice. Candice jumps up and raps her legs around Victoria and falls back off the ropes to pull back on the neck of her opponent. Wikipedia informs me that that move is called the Candylicious. Jack Doane starts the 5 count and Candice breaks at 3. Candice goes back up top and connects with a cross body on Victoria. Cover gets a 2 count for Candice Michelle but Victoria catches a boot to the gut as they both get up and slams Candice to the mat. Victoria gets in position, gyrates and goes for the standing moonsault but Candice rolled out of the way at the last second and Victoria connects with nothing but canvas. Candice and Victoria both up, big kick to the gut by Candice, now one to the chest connects and there's another but Victoria still won't go down. Candice off the ropes and hits the Candy Kick (spinning heel kick to the jaw). There's a cover with the leg hook and it gets the 3 count!

Candice Michelle pins Victoria after the Candy Kick @ 4:34!

What Coach and Grish were saying about Candice's improvement is right on the money. As well as being hot as hell she is starting to look decent in the ring and someone I wouldn't mind seeing wrestling for the Women's Championship in six months or so. Victoria takes another loss but no harm done because no-one watches Heat anyway.

Shill – Lifestyles of the Built and Dangerous airs on wwe.com this Wednesday and features Trevor Murdoch and his trailer.

Viscera vs. Patrick Busch

Viscera who now apparently weighs in at 487lbs is a safe bet to come out on top in this one but we'll see. Busch tries to lock up with Big Vis but he gets shoved on his ass. Viscera swings a big arm but Busch ducks underneath and comes back with a nice dropkick to the jaw of Viscera but it barely moves the big man. Busch off the ropes and runs into a huge arm from Viscera. Now Viscera backs Busch into the corner and delivers an open-handed chop to the chest and there's two more for the kid's trouble. One handed beale out of the corner now and Vis wants this kid to get up. He does and then gets knocked to his knees following a big headbutt from Viscera. Big Vis shoots him off the ropes and lets Busch run into an elbow which knocks him down again. Vis off the ropes now with a big 487lbs elbow drop. Vis tosses Busch into another corner and delivers a few more chops to the pecs of Busch and whips him to the opposite and Busch collides with the top turnbuckle chest first. Vis charges but Busch avoids the contact and now starts to fight back against Big Vis with a right hand, and another, off the ropes but runs straight into a heel kick by Big Vis! It's academic from here as Vis hits the VD as Grisham calls it, the Vis Drop, and that gets the 3 count.

Viscera beats Patrick Busch after the VD @ 4:14!

Squash

Shill – This Thursday on wwe.com sees the next edition of Ringside Reality. Being on camera makes Layla feel "very pretty."

Kenny Dykstra vs. Val Venis

And this is your main event! Coach makes fun of two fat ugly chicks in the crowd who boo Kenny Dykstra. As Venis comes out the camera shows some hot chicks as usual but a couple of them look totally repulsed by Val. Val does get a loud girly pop though. Lock up and Val with a go behind. Waist lock takedown by Venis as Coach points out that this is youth vs. experience in this match up. Kenny reverses out of a headlock and into a wrist lock which Kenny quickly changes into a side headlock. Val shoves Kenny off but he comes back off the ropes and takes Val down with a shoulder block. Kenny off the ropes over Val, Val up, Kenny comes back and gets hip tossed followed up with a deep arm drag by Val. Kenny up quickly and takes a dropkick to the chin and rolls out to get some separation. Val looks to follow but the referee stops him and sends Val to the other side of the ring as Kenny calls for a time out, which of course the referee will not allow and starts the count. Dykstra back in now and they lock up again but this time Kenny hits a quick knee to the sternum and follows it up with a stiff clubbing blow to the back. The picture freezes for half a second and when it comes back Val takes Kenny across the ring and catches him with a knee of his own to the gut and another on the other side. Val holds on to Dykstra and connects with a side Russian leg sweep centre of the ring. Val goes for an early cover and gets a near fall. Venis picks up Dykstra and buries some more knees in the abdomen of Kenny. Into the corner, Kenny reverses the Irish whip but Val pushes himself up using the ropes to avoid contact from a charging Kenny who blocks himself running into the turnbuckles and then uses Venis' own tights for leverage and sends him face first into the top turnbuckle. Dykstra with some measured elbows to the throat of Val, cover, hooks the far leg and Val kicks out on 2. Coach calls Kenny "Lenny Dykstra." That had to happen sooner or later. Venis tries to pull himself up using the ropes and Dykstra takes the opportunity to choke Val out but is forced to break when the referee reaches a 4 count. Kenny now pulls Val into a clothesline as Grish corrects Coach on the "Lenny" thing but Coach berates Grish for mishearing him and tells him to listen. Now Kenny pulls Val up and into another clothesline as Coach blames his mistake on the fact that he has a lot on his plate right now. He mentioned the WWE's overseas tour coming up in the next two weeks and the Raw's in Milan and London (I'll be there) this month. Kenny covers again and gets another 2 count. As Dykstra applies a chin lock, Grisham mentions Raw this Monday and the Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton #1 Contenders Match. Coach thinks Orton will win because HBK has had his shot. For the record I'm guaranteeing it'll be Edge vs. Orton vs. Michaels vs. Cena at Backlash. Venis fights out of the chin lock with well placed elbows to the gut of Kenny and a right hand. Venis off the ropes and kicks Kenny who lowered his head to soon. Venis back off the ropes but runs into a high elevation dropkick from the former cheerleader. Cover gets 2 for Kenny and he is getting frustrated. Kenny rolls Val onto his front and connects with a knee to the back of the neck which, according to Grisham, is where he is now targeting. Kenny goes for another pin attempt and gets 2 more. Dykstra now plants an elbow off the face of Venis and gets yet another 2 count. Kenny goes back to the chin lock and when Val starts to fight back hits a clubbing blow to the spine and hits a slam. Kenny off the ropes and misses a fist drop as Venis rolls out of the way. Kenny recovers and goes to the head but Val kicks him off to create some separation. Val pulls himself up in the corner, Kenny charges and eats an elbow. Venis charges out of the corner and knocks Dykstra down with a clothesline. And another, one more time! Kenny off the ropes and runs into a big back body drop. Val scoops him up and nails a perfect spin-out sit down powerbomb and gets a 2 count from it. Why is it whenever hits a sit-down powerbomb straight into a cover, whoever hits it has to nod their head in time with the referee's count? Val can't believe he didn't get the win there and gets right back on Kenny with a fisherman's suplex and bridges into a cover for a near fall. Venis charges but Kenny hoists him into a hotshot off the top rope. Kenny hits a modified version of the roll of the dice and that gets the 3 count and the win over Val Venis.

Kenny Dykstra pins Val Venis @ 6:28!

Nice little match up there as Kenny spent a lot of the time working the neck of Val and that played nicely into the finish. I will say that Kenny should not use that move as his finisher – it's generic heel move #1! Stick to that swank top rope leg drop Kenny. Hell, that would have fit perfectly here as that'll affect the neck, too. Still, it was a decent enough main event and over not a bad show.

Coach and Grisham put over Dykstra and say that this might just be Kenny's year. They thank you for joining them and they'll be back same time, same place next week.

I, however, will not be back next week as Scott Slimmer will return with the Heat Report. If you have half hour to spare this weeks Heat is probably worth checking out because there's no bad wrestling and all the matches get decent time. Plus it's good to see Candice advancing so well. If you haven't got time to spare, don't worry, you're not missing that much.