The Impact Crater 04.12.07

Posted by Ryan Byers on 04.12.2007

The ch-ch-chosen one re-re-returns!

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Impact Crater. As always, I'm Ryan. We've got a hell of a little week in TNA this time around, so let's get straight in to it.

Quick & Dirty Results

Segment #1: Interview with Team Angle
Segment #2: "Man Now Fully Willing to Do His Impressions" Jay Lethal def. Chris Sabin in a non-title match
Segment #3: Bobby Roode & Jacqueline def. "Canadian Pygmy" Pete Williams & Gail Kim
Segment #4: LAX "shot" Spike Dudley
Segment #5: Samoa Joe def. AJ Styles in a "Hey, Remember When TNA was Awesome?" Match

Angle Numero Uno: J-E-DOUBLE F? G-R-QUINTUPLE E-A-T!

For the most part, the build to the main event of Lockdown this week was solid. We were briefly reminded that an issue exists between the two camps, all of the major players got some face time, and everybody knows the match is taking place.

I do have a couple of quibbles with how the match is going now. The first issue is that, thanks to Samoa Joe's victory over AJ Styles in the main event, the good guys will now have a one man advantage until all five competitors are in the ring. Pardon me? Have the folks writing TNA ever watched a War Games match before? Hell, have they watched a professional wrestling match before? The whole point is to put the good guys at a disadvantage they ultimately overcome to a big pop. Hopefully there is some sort of angle shot during the pay per view that switches the entrance order to favor the heels. The other problem I have with the match now is the "winner of the fall gets a title shot" stipulation. I know that it was actually announced last week, but the potential problems with it didn't set in until just now. (I was too busy making Andy Griffith Show jokes nobody got to really think about it.) I'm not a big fan of stipulations like that in tag team match, because it makes the whole concept of men being on teams absolutely pointless. They're now all in it for themselves, whether that's how the rules are officially announced or not. They may as well have some wacky cage battle royale if they really want to find a number one contender in this manner.

Of course, the big news of the week is JEFF JARRETT~! returning to be the fifth member of Team Angle. Yes, after pissing off the fans to the point that they would chant "Drop the belt!" at him, Jeff Jarrett is back, and he's a babyface. Personally, I think this is a great idea. Jarrett as one of the top faces in TNA is going to be awesome for the company, and I'll tell you why right now. Ever since Vince Russo started writing for the company, there have been problems with top guys being established as top guys and with heel/face alignments constantly being switched for no reason. Just take a look at the Joe/Angle feud in which guys were turning every two weeks or Joe's job to Tyson Tomko despite the fact that he's supposed to be a World Title contender. However, if Jeff Jarrett is back and he's back as a top babyface, there will always be at least one feud in which that sort of bullshit is not allowed to happen. Double J is far too smart to ruin his own character's popularity with that type of shoddy booking, so we're all guaranteed at least one feud per pay per view in which things aren't massively screwed up. In short, I'm glad to be back on Planet Jarrett.

Angle Numero Dos: Pillman/Austin This is Not

So what's the over/under on the taser shot Spike took being legit? It certainly wouldn't be necessary for the angle, but the guy is so crazy and has done so many stupid things during his professional wrestling career that I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to take a real one. As far as the rest of the angle is concerned, I can't say that I was overwhelmed. It makes sense to do something involving electricity to get over the stipulation for the pay per view match, but I think I've just had enough Dudley Boys/LAX interaction for a lifetime. The program has stretched out for far too long, and I'll be glad to see it come to an end this Sunday. Hopefully the Latinos are able to quickly rebound and move along to something that will be more entertaining. What they need is another feud akin to the battle they had against Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles, in which they're allowed to be just as entertaining in the ring as they are on the mic. I suggest feeding them Jerry Lynn and a randomly designated X Division "protege" of his.

Angle Numero Tres: Sonjay Dutt to Play Elizabeth?

Okay, so Jay Lethal is no longer reluctant to do his impressions. Now he's just flat out Randy Savage. If this full-on Macho Man transformation was just done for a one-time joke, I can live with it. However, if this is now the young man's full-time gimmick, it's one of the dumber ideas in professional wrestling history. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there now saying, "No way, this is an awesome way to give Jay Lethal a character! He's not that generic guy with no personality that he used to be!" If you're saying that, you don't understand professional wrestling too well.

Before I go any further, let me be clear on one point: I'm not saying that there is no spot for comedy in wrestling. In fact, if it's done well and in the right doses, it can do a lot to add to shows and prevent the mayhem from becoming too monotonous. However, TNA already has a ton of comedic acts running around its lower midcard. You've got Bob Backlund doing whatever Bob Backlund does, you've got Eric Young and his assorted wackiness, and, every now and then, you can count on Shark Boy being thrown in to the mix. The humor factor is already alive and well in the company. Now I did say that humor has a place on wrestling shows, but, when you're getting up to four comedy acts on every show, things have gone a bit too far. Why? Because comedy has never been proven to draw money in professional wrestling. There has never been a pay per view headlined by a wacky skit that drove buyrates through the roof. There has never been a gimmick designed to get chuckles out of the crowd that has propelled a wrestler in to a main event slot. TNA has many guys on their roster who COULD be putting on the sorts of serious feud that WOULD draw some money, but they're not getting the chance because of the Backlunds and the Youngs of the world. Now throw Jay Lethal in to the mix, and you've got even less TV time for guys who could actually help contribute some money to the financially struggling TNA. If that is the case, generic, gimmickless Jay Lethal actually does more good for the company than goofy "Macho Man" Jay Lethal who will get tons of TV time because he makes the bookers laugh.

And the Rest . . .

~ When did James Storm and Bobby Roode become such good friends? Why is Storm interfering on Roode's behalf all of a sudden?

~ And, hey, Eric Young is standing up to Bobby. Good to see this angle finally progressing after SIX MONTHS.

~ I must say, TNA did a great job with the video packages tonight. The hype video for the LAX/Dudleys match was very well put together, and better still was the show-closing package running down the entire Impact card. However, it did make me wish that Alex Shelley would get more mic time in this company.

~ Huh, I don't have much else to put down here. Amazing what happens when TNA avoids the BS small angles and cramming 75 men in to 45 minutes of television.

Overall

Though I probably didn't do a good job of conveying it throughout the body of the report, this was, as a whole, a very good "go home" show for the Lockdown pay per view. The company really keyed in on the main event of the PPV and made it the primary focus of this program, allowing the wrestlers involved to have the majority of the TV time and the biggest angle of the evening. Plus, with Jarrett's joining Team Angle left unexplained, there is at least some reason for fans to buy the pay per view above and beyond purchasing it just to see the advertised matches. Beyond the main event focus, the company picked a couple of lower card matches on the PPV and devoted a little bit of time to them to generate some last minute interest. Also good on this show was the in-ring action, as the contests were exactly that the quality you want on a pre-PPV show. They were good enough to tell your (hopefully) paying audience know that they would be in for some quality grappling action over the weekend while simultaneously not being so good that they would leave fans satisfied and unwilling to pay for something that they had just gotten on free TV. The only glaring negative of the show was Jay Lethal, as that angle didn't contribute to anything that would result in people buy the pay per view show, nor did it set up any foreseeable future pay per view matches. Oh well, I guess they can't click on every cylinder.

That does it for Impact this week. Before I sign off, I'd just like to give a big thumbs up to promoter Dave Prazak and the crew of wrestlers and staff who made my experience at the SHIMMER: Women Athletes show this past weekend a great one. Those of you interested in learning more about SHIMMER should check out this highlight video courtesy of the fine folks at YouTube:



For those of you who want more information about SHIMMER, check out their official website or my MySpace blog for DVD reviews and (coming this weekend) a lengthy ROAD REPORT~! about my recent live SHIMMER experience. While you're there, you can also friend me to receive updates every time I post new content on 411 or elsewhere on the interent.