The Impact Crater 5.03.07
Posted by Ryan Byers on 05.04.2007
Yeah, it's basically the same show on a different week.
Welcome, one and all, to the Impact Crater. I'm Ryan, and this is your look at the latest that Total Nonstop Action has to offer. Usually it involves what WWE Smackdown's midcard had to offer a year ago, plus Sting.
Quick & Dirty Results
Segment #1: Kurt Angle/Sting/Christian promo
Segment #2: The Dudley Boys def. Rhino & Samoa Joe by DQ
Segment #3: Eric Young/Bobby Roode promo
Segment #4: Gail Kim def. Jacqueline
Segment #5: Sting & Kurt Angle def. Christian & AJ Styles
Angle Numero Uno: (Three Way) Dancing with the Devil
And we finally have our main event for the next pay per view, Christian defending his title against Sting and Kurt Angle in a triple threat match. I alluded to this a little bit last week, but I can't say that I approve of how long they took to get to this point. When you've only got four or five weeks in between pay per views, you want to get that main event out there as quickly as possible, because that's the matchup that's actually going to entice people to buy the show. If they really wanted to head in to the triple threat match, they already had a "winner gets the title shot" stipulation at the pay per view, so they could have just done the double pin/contested finish there instead of dragging it out for almost a month on television. Plus if Angle had a legitimate claim coming out of Lockdown, he could have actually been acting like a face this entire time as opposed to heading out on his "Bitch and Moan Like a Nancy Girl Tour 2007." (Can't wait for the t-shirt on that one, by the way.) I can't say that there was anything particularly impressive about this week's match or angles to set up Sacrifice, either. Everything is just sort of there, as this show seems to have jumped on to the same treadmill that ECW just managed to get off of heading in to Wrestlemania. Oh, and speaking of treadmills, thank god Kurt Angle got to work in his pull apart brawl during this feud. I don't remember one in the build up to Lockdown, and I was afraid that they were going the way of the dinosaur. As we all know, refs pulling at men's clothes week after week after week after nauseating week = ratings. (Specifically, about an 0.9 in the ratings.)
Anybody want to know how you can tell that Vince Russo didn't book the main event tonight? If he did, AJ Styles would've pinned Christian and gotten the title shot for himself at the next PPV. Why? BECAUSE NOBODY WOULD SEE IT COMING!
Angle Numero Dos: Eric Young and the Restless
Fresh off drawing the biggest quarter hour rating on the show that also featured Sting vs. Kurt Angle and Sting vs. Christian, Eric Young was ready to make is presence felt in the Impact Zone. He did, but unfortunately his talent is once again mired in the trainwreck that is this angle. Seriously, somebody needs to design a flow chart to tell me exactly what's going on here. This week, Jim Cornette tried to make sense of it all, and even he failed. Kids, when Jim Cornette can't make something work, it's time to give it up. (This is the guy who managed to get Boo Bradley over as an upper midcard act, after all.) Anyway, this story has been convoluted for quite some time and only managed to get worse. Apparently Corny is mad at Bobby Roode for messing with Eric Young's TNA contract, but for some reason James E. decided not to do anything about it until Young had already been a part of "Bobby Roode Enterprises" for about four and a half months. Way to be on the ball there, Jimmy. Oh yeah, and Young can attack Roode now with no repercussions, but we're not going to see them wrestle at the next PPV.. Instead, all of this sets up Roode taking on Jeff Jarrett in a match for the ages. Actually, despite the wacky storyline, I'm looking forward to the in-ring on this one, as Double J always brings the goods, and, though Roode isn't the greatest in the world, he's solid and has never really had the opportunity to be carried by somebody the caliber of Jarrett. Hopefully he manages to learn a thing or two from it, because with the promos that he's been cutting lately, getting to the next level in-ring is the only thing preventing him from being a big break out star with this company.
Angle Numero Tres: Nothing
I haven't had do one of these very often lately, and that's a GOOD THING. Kudos to TNA for doing shows that are less cluttered.
And the Rest . . .
~ It figures that the week after I praise TNA for consistently putting the Dudley Boys over randomly thrown together teams of singles stars, they completely fail to do it. Nothing good lasts long in this company.
~ Speaking of not lasting long, there goes Chris Daniels' hot streak. If you're building the guy up to be a serious top heel and a rival for Sting, he kicks everybody's ass until he gets to Sting. Is it really that hard?
~ Steiner and Tomko have been inserted in to the Tag Title scene. And here I thought that the electric cage was an impediment to the Dudleys and LAX having a good match.
~ Good to see that they're getting as much mileage as possible out of that Abyss footage. When something special like that happens, it needs to be replayed as much as humanly possible so that it gets seared in to fans' minds for when the babyface gets his revenge. Plus it sounds like Jim Mitchell has a new protégée on the way already. I just hope that it's a new talent getting a shot with the company as opposed to another WWE retread.
~ So Jackie Moore apparently lost her front teeth during that match with Gail Kim. Jackie should consider herself lucky. It was pretty much a lock that she was going to be out of the company by June, but now I'm sure they'll keep her around until December for a rendition of "All I Want for Christmas" on the highly anticipated TNA Holiday Album. (I'm working on getting the full track listing for that . . . should have it next week.)
~ Sadly, Chris Harris has taken off his eye patch. This happened the same week that I was going to institute my plan to refer to him as the "One Eyed Monster."
~ You know, TNA has managed to take a lot of special things and make them absolutely meaningless. They somehow managed to make the NWA Title less prestigious. They took the legend out of Sting. They turned Kurt Angle in to just another guy. They'll probably do the same if they ever get Rob Van Dam. However, I NEVER thought the day that a promotion would be able to make Bob Backlund un-funny. TNA has somehow accomplished this. This is a sad, sad day for professional wrestling and Harvard step test enthusiasts the world over.
Overall
For the past several months, TNA's pattern has consisted of putting on a really good show right after the PPV and then having their programs get progressively worse as the big show draws closer. That's almost exactly the opposite of what you want to do, but that's how they've been running the show. The pattern continued here, as everything feels like it's grinding to a halt as opposed to gaining momentum. However, the Abyss angle could definitely be a huge one of they execute it properly, so I've got my fingers crossed and am hoping against hope that it manages to turn this little promotion around.
And that's it for this week. I'll be back in seven. Until then, check out my MySpace Blog for more thoughts on the crazy world of wrestling. I'll probably have some reader feedback up there this weekend, so, if you've e-mailed me within the last couple of weeks, keep an eye out for it.
