The Final Fantasy Heat Report: 05.27.07
Posted by Jeff Small on 05.27.2007
Introducing the New Blood of WWE Heat!!!
Welcome back to another edition of the gimmickless Final Fantasy Heat Report. I must say I still have not found a suitable replacement for my fantasy stats (and are you surprised? It only took Slimmer eight weeks of thinking about a new format before going back to his old). While things are stagnant on my end, they are most certainly not on the WWE's end. Especially in terms of the superstars of WWE Heat. Even though the latest roster cuts have not affected the Heat roster, we have two new arrivals and the return on everyone's favorite TE 4 star!
In addition, I would like to thank Stu for covering for me last week. Go read his plethora of weekend writings!
With that being said, let's bring it on…
Match 1: Highlanders vs. Jeff Michaels & Wyatt Lara
Match Description: Another squash in a never-ending series of them for the Highlanders.
Robbie grabs a side headlock to start before a blind tag allows Rory to headbutt Jobber #1. Robbie tags back in and hits a European uppercut. Dropkick connects! Robbie scoop slams #1 before tagging in Rory. Rory scoop slams Robbie onto the jobber but cannot capitalize as he falls victim to an eye poke. #2 tags in but is headbutted. Rory sends the jobber into all three turnbuckles before tagging back in Robbie. A double team back elbow/headbutt drop connects! Robbie scoop slams his opponent. He climbs to the middle rope but whiffs on an elbow drop. #1 tags in and works on the arm. A jawbreaker by Robbie ends that and he makes the HOT TAG to Rory. The Scot Drop ends @ 3:43.
Winners: The Highlanders
Match 2: Eugene vs. Dan Rodman
Match Description: This match happened a few months ago on Heat and was won by Eugene. I was pretty shocked when that happened and would be stunned to see Eugene win again.
Rodman's entrance just consists of a generic rock riff but you know that will change now that Stephanie is in charge of all Creative. Eugene hugs the ref and extends a handshake to Rodman. Rodman slaps it away and they lockup. Eugene fails to pick up his larger opponent and is scoop slammed. Rodman chokes away in the corner. Eugene taunts back at Rodman before bailing outside of the ring. Rodman goes outside to catch him but Eugene's too fast. In the ring. Eugene bites Rodman's hair. He continues to taunt until a hard clothesline levels him (complete with a 360 degree bump).
Rodman takes over with (what else?) a lot of choking. He suplexes Eugene for 2. Rodman applies a bearhug and that lasts for a while (about a minute). Eugene finally powers out. Eugene tries another slam but Rodman counters into a pinfall for 2. Rodman slams Eugene's head into the turnbuckles which leads to him TARDIN UP. Eugene unloads the rights and lefts and finally connects on a scoop slam for 2. The Rock Bottom is blocked which allows Rodman to kill Eugene with a full nelson slam. That mercifully ends the match @ 4:30.
Winner: Dan Rodman
Match 3: Charlie Haas vs. Chuck Palumbo
Match Description: This is Chuck's first match in the WWE since being fired in November of 2004. The result of this match will determine Chuck's pecking order in the WWE (or at least on Heat).
Palumbo rides out on a motorcycle and gets a surprisingly decent pop. It's humorous to see Grisham already fellating him when the last time he was on TV he was "Custom" Chucky P.
They lockup and immediately Chuck clotheslines out of a hiptoss attempt. Chuck shoulderblocks Haas down. Haas turns the tides however by grabbing Chuck's arm and jumping over the top rope. Haas goes to work on the injured arm. Chuck does himself no favors when he tries a shoulderthurst into the corner but misses and eats steel. Haas applies an armbar. A single arm DDT gets 2 for Haas. Haas settles for a fujiwara armbar but Chuck is able to power out of it. Haas runs into a back elbow. Chuck catches Haas's kick attempt and decapitates him with a clothesline. An overhead belly to belly suplex gets 2 ½ for Chuck. A running Yakuza kick puts Haas back down again. Chuck finishes with a move (@ 4:48) that I can only describe as this: Hass was lifted in the Dominator position before being spun over to his side (like the Roll of the Dice) and landing on his belly. It looked nice, regardless.
Winner: Custom Chucky P
Main Event: Shelton Benjamin vs. Santino Marella
Match Description: This is actually my first time seeing Santino wrestle. I don't expect him to do much though it would be greatly appreciated.
Flip-flop to start. Shelton knees Santino in the gut but telegraphs a back body drop. Santino takes down Shelton with an overhead arm toss for 1. Santino punches away but his boot attempt is blocked in the corner. Shelton superkicks the back of Santino's knee to establish his preferred body part of this matchup. Shelton works the knee for a while. After chop blocking Santino, he applies a standing leglock. He switches over to a single leg Boston crab for releasing the hold. Santino fights but gets nowhere. Shelton applies another submission maneuver which Santino has no problems countering. Shelton whiffs on a chop block attempt and is enziguri'd! Santino hits a couple of forearms and even kicks Shelton with his injured knee. Thankfully, he sells it. Shelton nails a dropkick to the legs taking Santino out of the game. Shelton Oklahoma rolls Santino but that's reversed to a pinning maneuver @ 5:38. This whole "Beat the Odds" routine will wear thin shortly and I would rather see some more of Santino's offense. His few moves looked quite crisp.
Winner: Santino Marella
While Dan Rodman is nowhere near ready to be seen on the Raw roster, the other two additions to Heat will be welcomed with open arms. Chuck Palumbo looks to be in excellent shape and was always a good wrestler and as mentioned above, I would like to see what Santino really has to offer. A good week overall (shame that Slimmer missed it) and here's hoping to see more of this crew than Viscera in the upcoming weeks. Until then, have a good one!
