411’s WWE Saturday Night Main Event Report 06.02.07

Posted by Arnold Furious on 06.03.2007

Khali pins Cena on Network TV!

We're in Toronto, Ontario. Hosts are Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler.

JOHN CENA v GREAT KHALI

Man, this crowd totally hate Cena. Khali has new music stating how big he is. Ashley Massaro is ring announcing. Khali is joined by his interpreter. Cena jumps Khali before he comes into the ring but that gets him clubbed down. Crowd approves. Those Toronto fans sure hate Cena, eh? Cena gets beaten up to the point where he falls out of the ring. Khali celebrates. Lawler calls Cena's win over Khali "a fluke". He's paraphrasing the locker room. Khali continues to beat Cena down but misses a legdrop. Cena picks the leg thinking STFU. Khali kicks him off. Khali takes it to the floor where he continues the beating. Back inside Khali continues to club away. Cena takes a few clotheslines and the crowd rejoice. Crowd gets bored with Khali's dominance and chant "Khali sucks". Make your mind up people! Cena attempts the FU but Khali elbows out. BOOM! Big overhand chop. Cole calls his performance "dominant". No shit. CHOKEBOMB! It's over. One foot pin gets it done at 6.20.

Winner: Great Khali via pinfall

POST MATCH Khali gets the mic and rants at Cena. The interpreter interprets. Apparently Khali is aiming to win the WWE title tomorrow night at One Night Stand because he can beat him anywhere and it's falls count anywhere.

Arm Wrestling match – VINCE MCMAHON v BOBBY LASHLEY

Kristal is on hand to announce the participants. Vince has "doctor of hardcore" during his entrance now. Vince has enough hair back to come out without the doorag now. "You screwed Bret" chant the crowd. They're still not over that. Vince tries to get himself focused. Lashley isn't buying the mind games. Vince delays the cinch as long as he can. He gets the mic and talks trash while setting himself up. But out comes MARK HENRY. Vince says Lashley will have to arm wrestle him instead. Lashley is now the reluctant one but once he's shaped Henry up we're off! Henry gets a big head start but Lashley battles back. Henry punches him and that's the end of that. He beats on Lashley. Crowd seems very disinterested. Lashley battles back and hits the spear. Vince sneaks back in and chair shots him.

BACKSTAGE Maria interviews Edge. He reminds us that he beat Taker and Batista once again. He calls himself the greatest and the crowd seem inclined to agree. Well we are in his home town.

EDGE/MVP v DAVE BATISTA/CHRIS BENOIT

Torrie Wilson is the ring announcer now as if this show is set up to show off all the eye candy the WWE has. I like Batista's smirk at MVP's entrance. He's not sweating this guy…yet. Benoit stares a hole in him. Good response for Edge. He's from Toronto, Cana according to Torrie. I wouldn't let her ring announce again. She's no Kristal. JIP. Benoit chops at MVP and trips him up to go after the Crossface but MVP has the ropes. He uses the dynamic of the match to tag the very popular Edge in. He poses and gets a reaction. Benoit chops him down for that and hits the snap suplex. Tags and Dave dominates MVP. Dave still has the strapping on his leg. He puts his hand to it on a lock up but isn't afraid to use that leg for offence. Benoit back in with more chops. MVP cowers in the buckles but that doesn't save him. He attempts a Yakuza kick but gets caught in the Rolling Germans. Benoit goes up and Edge tries to stop him but gets laid out with a forearm. MVP has time to move to avoid the Flying Wolverine. Edge in with a gutbuster for 2. The heels pick Benoit off and work him over in the heel corner. Gutwrench suplex from MVP gets 2. They're going after Benoit's ribs and MVP drops a knee into that area. Edge in to kick at the ribcage. Edge extends a grounded bearhug but Benoit fires up and Enzuigiri's Edge. MVP stops the tag. Benoit goes to kick him in the head too but MVP ducks it. Benoit kicks him off and Dave gets the tag. He clotheslines MVP extensively. Powerslam but Edge runs in. Dave sees him coming and eyeballs him out of the ring. Spinebuster for MVP. Edge has gone. He's up the ramp. Flying Wolverine! Benoit pins and gets the duke at 8.22.

Winners: Benoit & Batista via pinfall

BACKSTAGE Finlay and his Little Bastard walk. Elsewhere Boogey & midget walk too.

BOOGEYMAN/LITTLE BOOGEYMAN v FIT FINLAY/HORNSWOGGLE

Candice Michelle is the ring announcer now. The bigger men start. Boogeyman is chewing away on some worms. He overpowers Finlay. Crowd are marginally in favour of Finlay, which is a nice show of respect. Boogey gyrates away and inverts the atomic drop. Little Boogey is in to jump on Finlay a few times. Finlay slaps him. Little Boogeyman battles back with punches and biting Finlay's fingers. Short DDT. Hornswoggle wants a tag from under the apron. He's in! Jacket off! Sleeves rolled up! Hat off. Little Boogey has it but Finlay dropkicks the midget and the heels do a little Irish gig. Lil Boogey gets a roll up for 2. Finlay back in but Little Boogey small packages him for 2. Boogeyman chases Hornswoggle up the ramp and Finlay uses the distraction to boot Little Boogey for the pin at 3.48

Winners: Finlay & Hornswoggle via pinfall

POST MATCH the Extreme Expose do their thing. A plug for the big draft special Raw airs along the bottom(s). We cut to Hornswoggle getting chased around backstage by the Boogeyman midget. Boogeyman sneaks up on him and covers him in worms causing a further chase. Finlay arrives out of nowhere to nail Boogeyman with the shillelagh and gyrates over him to my amusement. Hornswoggle is out here with the ladies now. Little Boogeyman is still chasing. Hornswoggle hides behind Kelly briefly. Then they use Brooke and Layla as boosts for a catfight with respective representatives. Hornswoggle runs off and the midgets tear up the ramp.

KANE/DOINK THE CLOWN/EUGENE v UMAGA/KEVIN THORN/VISCERA

Ring announcer is Michelle McCool. Eugene has a new superhero attire complete with backwards E instead of the traditional S. This would be the strangest match the WWE could come up with. I don't know what Doink this is. He runs a "yay", "boo" crowd reaction thing with Thorn. Doink wiggles his posterior at Thorn. Cole shows his lack of history knowledge by asking Lawler if he's been in the ring with Doink rather than asking him what it was like being in the ring with Doink. Thorn gets sick of the theatrics and beats Doink down. Kane helpfully punches him in the jaw when he comes too close to the babyface corner. Eugene comes in. He's dropped the cape to wrestle. Thorn debates with the other heels who should come in and it's Umaga. Eugene craps himself. Umaga gives him a kicking and then a punching. Vis tags himself in. Eugene runs around him and uses jabs. Vis is rocked but Eugene runs into the Black Hole Slam. We take a break and return with Eugene taking a beating. Umaga gives him the nerve hold before hitting the Samoan drop. Cole calls Umaga "Eugene's Kryptonite". Thorn lays in more of a beating and Umaga is back in. Eugene goes low and gets the hot tag to Kane. Thorn also in and it's him who Kane takes it out on. Big sideslam. Kane knocks the other heels off the apron. Diving clothesline. Doink runs in to stop Umaga but Umaga thumbs him in the neck. Eugene gets one too. Vis in but Kane sidesteps him. Chokeslam! Pin finishes at 9.08.

Winners: Kane, Eugene & Doink via pinfall.

POST MATCH we get a montage of what the WWE is about. "The biggest, the smallest and the strangest" as Michael Cole has been saying all night.

That's the show. One Night Stand is tomorrow. See you for that! Larry has live coverage. Myself and JD will be along with our own reports slightly later.