The Impact Crater 06.07.07

Posted by Ryan Byers on 06.07.2007

Way to reward hard work, TNA.

I'm scrapping the normal format this week. The main reason I'm not using it is that, quite frankly, TNA finally managed to deliver a show that doesn't really fit in to it. The reason that I started using the current format for this column a few months ago was simple. It used to be that I would go in depth doing match play-by-play and analyzing TNA's in-ring performances. However, after a while, it became obvious that the company didn't give a hoot about putting good wrestling matches on Impact. Everything was two to three minutes long, several of the matches didn't have finishes, and none of them were any good. Instead, they were running seven times as many angles in a one hour show than they ever should've been. If that was the product they were putting out, I was going to adjust my coverage accordingly, so I adopted a format more suited to analyzing the booking of the show.

However, tonight that format didn't fit. It didn't fit because, believe it or not, TNA seemed to rededicate itself to actual, in-ring, bell-to-bell professional wrestling. It started out with a pretty decent match between Bobby Roode and Jerry Lynn, which Bobby won with a low blow/fisherman suplex combo. After the match, I had written up a little paragraph about how glad I was to see an up-and-comer get a (relatively) clean win over a veteran with his finishing move, as that's the sort of fine character establishment that TNA has been missing for quite some time. Then Gail Kim beat Traci Brooks. It wasn't entirely clear how this was going to work in to future storylines, but it was a decent women's match and finally gave Brooks an opportunity to step in to the ring, so I couldn't complain about it too much. Then, in the main event, Chris Harris and James Storm fought in the most recent King of the Mountain qualifier. It was a hell of a little match. Harris hit a huge cross body off of the top rope and in to the crowd early on, and things only got crazier from there. The two men went all out, destroying each other with weapon shots. Harris did one of the biggest bladejobs that you'll see on free TV. They started throwing beer bottles at each other. In the final spot of the match, Harris wound up spearing Storm through the bottom of the stage. It was an intense match that probably would have been pay per view quality if it wasn't interrupted by commercial breaks. So, based on all of the above, I was getting ready to write a glowing review of this show. I really was. I'd loved it.

Then, in the last five minutes, TNA managed to flush all of that good will down the toilet. After the big spear spot, the ring announcer let everybody know that the referee determined that, after not enforcing the rules for the entire match, he decided that he was going to start counting the men out. In short, the first one back to the ring would win the match. So who does it? Does Chris Harris, the conquering hero, barely edge out his devilish opponent? Does James Storm, the underhanded heel, just barely sneak in to the main event over his more deserving rival? The answer to both of those questions was a resounding no. What we got instead was a double count out. From there, things got worse. Kurt Angle shows up for no reason whatsoever. Then Samoa Joe does the same. They starting fighting. Suddenly AJ Styles is out. He joins in the brawl. Mike Tenay starts screaming about needing a decision from Jim Cornette. We cut back to Cornette's office. He tells Jeremy Borash that he can't make a decision. Christian Cage comes in with Tomko. Cage wants to know who his opponent is next week. Cornette won't say. Cut to black.

There was so much wrong packed in to this five minute period that I honestly don't know if I could recap it all . . . but I'll try. First and foremost, I feel incredibly bad for Chris Harris and James Storm. These two guys go out there and put on perhaps the best singles match in company history on the last pay per view, and they get rewarded with a main event on one of the follow-up episodes of Impact. It looks like one of them will be headed in to the big title match at the next PPV. So what happens instead? They go out there, bust their asses for fifteen minutes, put their bodies on the line, and produce a second awesome match, only to be treated like complete afterthoughts. It's bad enough that neither of them are headed to Slammaversary. However, even worse is that, after the performance that they gave, they can't even be made in to the focus of the show. Sure, they were put in to the main event, but what was the image that fans were left with? Were they left with the crowd in the Impact Zone giving Harris and Storm a standing ovation? Were they shown a victorious Wildcat as Mike Tenay screamed about his huge chance to win the title at Slammaversary? Nope. We got Kurt Angle fighting with AJ Styles and Samoa Joe. Now I like Joe and Styles as much as your next internet mark, but this was bullshit. Instead of allowing two men who had nearly killed themselves for a quarter of an hour to get the spotlight at the end of the show, TNA just had to throw things to its established main eventers, none of whom got half the reaction that the Harris/Storm match did. It was boneheaded stuff like this that I watched kill WCW all those years ago, and TNA would be in the same boat by now if it wasn't for Panda Energy inexplicably providing them with significant amounts of money.

Another problem with this final five minutes? Once again, TNA is trying to cram far too much stuff in to its show. It looked like for the most part they were pacing this show rather well, giving matches plenty of time and then slowly advancing storylines through backstage skits that lasted a minute or two. Then, all of a sudden, they realized that they hadn't done anything with the guys who are going to be involved in the pay per view main event, so they decided to jam them in at the last second. This just reeks of poor writing. There was a Sonjay Dutt/Kevin Nash skit on this show that didn't need to be there. There was a backstage brawl between Gail Kim and Traci Brooks that didn't need to be there. For that matter, as much as I wound up liking the Brooks/Kim match, you could've thrown the whole thing off the show and it wouldn't have mattered. Hell, they even wound up airing a video package for the Steiner Brothers vs. Dudley Boys at Slammaversary, a match that WON'T EVEN BE HAPPENING. If they had eliminated any of that useless stuff, they could have easily prevented the overkill at the end and could have given Storm and Harris the spotlight that they deserved.

The third problem with the segment? Christian. I'm sorry, but I just can't buy this guy as a main event level heel. He was on camera for roughly thirty seconds interacting with Jim Cornette at the end of the show. The idea was that, as Cornette and Jeremy Borash were watching the main event together, Christian just decided to barge in and find out who his opponent was for next week. Fine. What's the first thing that he says to the two of them as he busts in to the room? "I don't care if you're showing him your favorite episodes of The Nanny . . ." Granted, this is just a small, throw-away line, but it's indicative of a problem that I've had with Christian ever since TNA started using him as their top heel. Look, C-Man, I know that you primarily built up your fan base by making cutesy little comments on WWE TV, but there are some times in professional wrestling where TRYING TO BE FUNNY HURTS THE STORY. This man makes me want to rip my hair out sometimes, just because he'll be cutting a fine serious promo and then will have to go out of his way to yuck it up. It completely kills the momentum of the promo and results in his character not being taken seriously. It wasn't as bad tonight as it normally is given that he had relatively little screen time, but it just stuck in my craw particularly badly this time around since it was the last image of the show and since it was piled on top of so much other problematic content.

Really, this show was symbolic of what TNA has been like throughout the majority of its life. The company has a great roster and the potential to put on some damn entertaining wrestling, but they constantly shoot themselves in the foot and prevent that from happening for reasons that cannot be ascertained by any rational human being. Frankly, I'm sick of trying to figure this company out.