Your hosts are Michael Cole and John Bradshaw Layfield.
The Cutting Edge
Edge's special guest is Vince McMahon himself. Vince's persona has apparently devolved into some bizarre cross between Max Cady and Strom Thurmond. Edge sucks up to him and even offers his title to Vince, but Vince thinks he's patronizing him and puts him in yet another match with Batista. Batista has to go over in that one, if only to retain his credibility.
Mark Henry vs. Boogeyman (w/Mini-Boogey).
JBL says Henry is the first man to win with a bearhug since the days of Bruno Sammartino, but I'm pretty sure Brock Lesnar beat Hogan with a bearhug just a few years ago, and Andre the Giant won a handicap match with Tito Santana and Jim Powers with a double bearhug. JBL compares the bearhug to a constrictor snake squashing its prey before eating it, which winds up being an apt comparison because Henry grabs the bearhug right off the bat, rendering Boogeyman defenseless and then finishes with the World's Strongest Slam at 1:26. Henry crushes Mini-Boogey after the match, presumably to allow Boogeyman to get some of his edge back. 1/4*
Acting GM Vickie Guerrero announces MVP versus Batista and Edge versus Chris Benoit for tonight. I'm not sure why she's announcing it because Teddy Long is right there behind her, and the whole idea of naming her Acting GM was so he could get laid.
Apparently, it was all for practice, which is a decent explanation. Gotta have a dress rehearsal, after all. Vince storms in and is VERY happy with Vickie. He warns Teddy about Kristal and vice versa…or something. Who the hell knows what he's talking about.
Six-Man Tag: Jimmy Wang Yang, Brian Kendrick & Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jamie Noble & Daivari.
There's been a Jamie Noble sighting! The former tag champs go to work on his arm, but London is caught in the wrong corner. He gets out of trouble and does some double-teaming with Kendrick. Yang comes in with a crossbody for two and rolls up Daivari for two more. Daivari avoids a flying thrust kick. Yang is your face-in-peril. Daivari holds him in a surfboard for a while. Noble misses a charge, though, allowing Kendrick to tag in. Kendrick cleans house until Noble trips him up. Chavo hits a Falcon Arrow brainbuster for two. Noble sets up for the Tiger Driver, but Yang takes him out with a leg lariat. Yang springs off London's back out onto Daivari and Noble. That allows London and Kendrick to team up with a Sliced Bread/Powerbomb on Chavo at 7:33. Fun stuff. After the match, all of the heels argue about whose fault the loss is. **1/4
Non-Title: Edge vs. Chris Benoit.
I was beginning to think Edge would spend his entire title reign not facing anyone but Batista. Cautious start by both guys. Benoit armdrags Edge down and drops a few knees. Edge takes a hard back bump off a corner whip. Benoit goes for the Crossface, but Edge is in the ropes. To the apron, Benoit tries to German Suplex him, but Edge elbow out of it. Benoit settles for backdropping him out. We come back to Benoit holding a cravat. Edge reverses a corner whip, and Benoit takes a "Bret bump." Benoit misses the diving headbutt. Edge works the arm and locks in a stepover armbar. Benoit chops his way back and hits a Northern Lights. The Triple Verticals segue into ROLLING GERMANS. The flying headbutt only gets two. Edge sets up for the spear, but Benoit drop toeholds him and applies the Crossface. Edge makes the ropes, though. Benoit charges but runs into the post, allowing Edge to finish with the spear at 19:26. Well, this is about what they'd get on a PPV, so I guess that's all we'll get. They didn't seem as pumped up for this as they do for PPVs, though, so it was just "okay." **3/4
In the back, Jillian pisses off Ashley and runs off down the hall.
Matt Hardy is getting an autograph from the guy who runs the concession stand. Vince saunters up with a cup of coffee, which sucks for him because Ashley runs right into him while chasing Jillian down the hall. DON'T STAND THERE DRINKING COFFEE WHILE A MAN'S TALKING TO YOU! Wow. Has it been over 10 years since that angle? Vince suspends Ashley, forcing her to cry like Paris Hilton wanting her mommy.
Handicap Match: Deuce & Domino (w/Cherry) vs. Matt Hardy.
Cole wonders what would happen if Deuce were drafted to one brand and Domino were drafted to another. Well, they'd probably just ignore it and wrestle as a team like the Hardyz did for the past six months. Matt knocks Domino off the apron and small packages Deuce for two. Matt calls for the Twist of Fate, but Domino breaks it up. Domino works Matt's injured ribs. We go to break with Deuce and Domino in control. Matt crotches Domino and gets two on Deuce. The Side Effect gets two. He hits a bulldog/clothesline combo. Now, he tosses Deuce and schoolboys Domino for two. TWIST OF FATE on Domino, but he's too hurt to cover. Deuce comes in and boots Matt in the face at 9:08. Not sure why they gave a two-on-one match involving the tag team champions more time than the six-man cruiserweight match, but then I'm not booking. Not only that, but where is D&D's mean streak. They just beat Matt and went back to the soda shop to spin some records with Cherry. Come on. Give us a beatdown or something. 3/4*
MVP rips off CM Punk's old catchphrase by letting us know he's better than us. Apparently, he does the shot-callin' and he's str8 up ballin'.
MVP vs. Batista.
MVP ducks a swing and hits an overhand right, but he gets cocky, so Batista spears him into the corner and stomps a mudhole. MVP takes a breather and then snaps Batista's throat on the top rope. He clips Batista's knee out from under him, but then Batista co-opts his strategy and goes after MVP's leg. MVP misses a charge as we go to break. We come back to MVP Kawada kicking Batista over the top. JBL calls MVP as good as Bruiser Brody (because of the boot). Well, I wouldn't go *that* far yet. MVP keeps covering for two, but he can't put Batista away. He decides he'll settle for a countout victory, so he boots Batista in the head and gets back in. Batista comes back with a Bossman Slam. Edge runs in for the spear, but Batista sees him and hits his own spear. Edge's interference causes a DQ at 13:28. Batista needs the right kind of guy in there with him to have a good match. I don't think MVP is there yet. *1/2
The 411: Well, everything is supposed to change on Monday, but we'll see. The wrestling was okay this week, but I'm not thrilled with the prospect of Edge vs. Batista III.
