The Final Fantasy Heat Report: 06.10.07
Posted by Jeff Small on 06.10.2007
Once Again the Women are Screwed!
And I'm back! Did you miss me? I know Slimmer did.
Anyway welcome back to the #1 Heat report on 411Mania. In today's edition, we have another Chuck Palumbo sighting, Eugene continues to bother me, and the Divas get screwed out of another main event. And I would be remiss in not mentioning receiving another heaping dose of Todd Grisham and Jonathan Coachman. (In fairness, I like the combination.)
Taped from Raw, it's Online Heat!
Match 1: Chuck Palumbo vs. Steve Madison
Match Description: This is Chuck's second match back from his long hiatus away from the WWE. He looked good in his debut and here's hoping there's more of the same. The big question is whether he receives a good reaction from the fans considering not many people watch Heat.
PS. Wouldn't it be funny if Chuck was the first person drafted in tomorrow's draft?
For the record, Palumbo know has lyrics to his generic rock theme. He receives another decent pop from the crowd which either means that people still remember who he is or that people know cheer for anything (see Eugene). Chuck shoulderblocks Madison to start. After shoulder thrusting him into the corner, Chuck misses on a corner splash. Unfortunately for the jobber, he runs straight into a hard clothesline (complete with 360 degree bump). A scoop slam hits but Chuck misses an elbow drop. Sadly, the jobber cannot do much against the larger man and is leveled with a hard right punch. A running back elbow sets up another hard clothesline. After an overhead belly 2 belly and a running yazuka kick, Chuck finishes with the Full Throttle (modified Osaka cutter) @ 2:16. Well at least the WWE has found their replacement for Bradshaw.
Winner: Chuck Palumbo
Match 2: Mickie James vs. Victoria
Match Description: With Candice Michelle hogging up the #1 contender's spot, it's only fitting that the two more talented Divas are stuck feuding on Heat. It'll be interesting to see what happens to the two of them once Michelle McCool is drafted to Raw.
Victoria begins the match with a side headlock. She takes down Mickie while still applying the hold. Mickie headscissors out of it and the two trade Steamboat/Flair pinning reversals. Mickie hits a shoulderblock before a headscissor takedown. She continues to hold onto the headscissors on the mat looking for a submission win. Victoria powers out of it and knees Mickie to the gut. She goes on the attack but Mickie counters a punch into a sloppy armdrag.
She kicks away in the corner until Victoria blocks a monkey flip. Victoria kicks Mickie in the back of the head for 2. She picks up Mickie only to throw her back down by the hair. Mickie tries to fight back in the corner but her Mickierana attempt is blocked and reversed into a catapult. But that's not all! Victoria rolls over on the catapult and locks in a Boston crab! Badass!
Mickie reverses out of the hold into a small package-ish pin for 2. A crucifix gets 2 for Mickie. Victoria fights back and hits a scoop slam. She mounts on top of Mickie and slugs away. To the top. Victoria's top rope moonsault attempt misses! Mickie kicks back and finishes off Victoria with a nice roundhouse kick @ 4:47. This match needed to go another couple of minutes.
Winner: Mickie James
Match 3: Eugene vs. Lance Lovett
Match Description: Another Eugene squash. This time he wears a Superheroes cape.
If you want in-depth analysis of this match, go read Slimmer's report. I choose to get this done with as quick as I can. Eugene hugs the ref to start. He asks Lovett for a handshake and of course, that doesn't happen. Eugene takes Lovett down by the head before the match disintegrates into another Bad Comedy Match.
After a minute of the usual, Eugene's taunting costs him the advantage as Lovett knocks him down with a running clothesline. After a legdrop to the head, Lovett applies a chinlock. Eugene tries to power out but is thrown back down. After a foot choke, Lovett applies an armbar! MOVESET, BABY! Lovett breaks the hold opting to pound Eugene for a while. Finally, after killing the crowd, he smashes Eugene's head against the turnbuckles! Of course, this leads to Eugene TARDING UP. The rights and lefts lead to a windmill punch. The windmill punch leads to an airplane spin. That leads into a Hart Attack neckbreaker for 2! Ok, I wasn't expecting that one. The Stunner ends @ 3:54.
Winner: Eugene
Main Event: The Highlanders vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team
Match Description: Quite appropriate to see the World's Greatest on Heat after stealing the show at One Night Stand. If the Hardyz lost that match, I doubt we wouldn't have seen them on Raw. Speaking of which, why did the two teams brawl after the match when nothing came of it this week? Poor Shelton.
Haas and Rory start. They trade turnbuckle shots in the opening seconds. Rory wins that since he has the thicker head and tags in Robbie. Robbie European uppercuts away before tagging back in Rory. A double polish hammer/headbutts gets 1. Haas knees Rory in the gut allowing him to tag in Shelton. Shelton clotheslines Rory down. He dumps Rory out of the ring allowing Haas to CHEAT TO WIN. In the ring, Shelton mounts and punches away on Rory. That gets 1.
Shelton misses on a clothesline attempt allowing Rory to hit a nice flying crossbody. He scoop slams Shelton before tagging in Robbie. Robbie scoop slams Rory on top of Shelton for 2. Robbie shoulder thrusts Shelton into a corner but runs into a boot. This stuns Robbie enough for Haas to illegally enter the ring and big boot Robbie down. A neckbreaker by Shelton gets 2.
Haas tags back in and whips Robbie hard into the corner. Haas's back body drop attempt is countered with a front kick but Robbie runs into a nice overhead belly 2 belly (shades of Chuck Palumbo!). That also gets 2. Benjamin tags in and applies a camel clutch. Robbie powers out of it but falls victim to the whiplash neckbreaker for 2. Benjamin tries to deliver a superplex but Robbie pushes him off. Benjamin once again tries for the move (this time as a Top-Rope Superplex) but once again Robbie pushes him off. HOT TAG to Rory who unloads away. A back body drop to Shelton. A flapjack for Haas. The Scotsmen's attempt at the Scot Drop on Haas is blocked, however, as Shelton catches Haas mid-move. Robbie tries to dump Shelton over the top rope but he skins the cat. Unfortunately for Robbie, the ref administers him back to the corner (in a SHOOT brotha) allowing Shelton to sneak back in with a double team leapfrog to the back. Vintage World's Greatest, indeed. Haas finishes with a German suplex @ 7:24. Good match.
Winners: The World's Greatest Tag Team
Well kids, it's safe to say that tonight's edition of Heat was quite good (minus the Eugene match of course). While the Highlanders are no Cryme Tyme, they still put on a good show especially when wrestling a team like the World's Greatest. I still think that Mickie/Victoria should have closed the show, but wha da tah. Until next week, have a good one!
