The Impact Crater 06.14.07

Posted by Ryan Byers on 06.15.2007

Happy Slammaversary, baby, I've got you on my miiiiiii-hiiiiiiii-hiiiiii-nd.

Welcome to the Impact Crater, folks. We're back to our usual format after a little meltdown last week caused by what may have been the worst booked five minute segment in the history of TNA wrestling. Fortunately this week's show came off much better, so let's head straight in to it.

Quick & Dirty Results

Segment #1: The Bashams & The Steiner Brothers def. The Dudley Boys & The New Age Outlaws
Segment #2: Kurt Angle, Rhino, & AJ Styles def. Sting, Rhino, & Tom Coe
Segment #3: Abyss def. Christian by DQ

Angle Numero Uno: The 'Byss is Back

Yes, your main event featured Abyss making his return to the ring to fight Christian for a spot in the King of the Mountain match. In a perfect world, I would have held off on Abyss' return until after the pay per view and not have him so much as lay a hand on Christian for six months (working his way through the other Team Cage members first), but I understand that the situation with Jeff Jarrett necessitated some last minute changes, so I'm not going to complain too much about this move.

I just hope that they follow up on it in the right way. The angle that they shot to get Abyss off camera for the last several weeks was one of those once in a lifetime moments in wrestling, something that probably cannot be duplicated . . . nor should anybody attempt to duplicate it. Now that he's back on TV, they need to replay that damn segment until people are sick of seeing it so that the audience remembers just why he hates Cage and his flunkies so much. You can literally get months of pay per view matches out of this, with Christian hiding behind Tom Coe and AJ Styles until Abyss finally convinces TNA management that he deserves his big title shot against the "Instant Classic." Hell, if you want to get even more mileage out of the move, you can throw in the new monster that Jim Mitchell was promising a while back and Rick Steiner as a last minute fill-in for brother Scotty. (More on Rick Steiner in a minute.) Also, the introduction of "shards of glass" in to Abyss' arsenal of weapons provides a nice change of pace from the tacks, which were just turning in to a bad cliche. My only hope is that nobody takes a move in to the glass more than once or twice during the course of this angle . . . because, let's face it, that stuff is a little too dangerous to be doing on a regular basis. So, for the first time in a while, this Abyss return has me legitimately excited about where a TNA angle is going, because this could be GREAT if followed through on properly.

And, with Christian getting a DQ win over Abyss, that makes the lineup for the King of the Mountain Match Cage, Angle, Joe, and Styles. The announcers didn't do too good of a job of explaining what happens with the fifth slot, though the graphic at the end of the show seems to indicate that it will be filled by a mystery man instead of the match simply being left as a four way. Jarrett is the obvious candidate for that spot, and, if he wants to do it, I say put him in the match and let him win the title for a little while. Since his comeback, he's been the best in-ring performer in TNA, given that Joe is pretty banged up and Angle is a shell of what he used to be in the WWF. That way you also get a nice Jarrett vs. Christian feud while Abyss works his way through the Team Cage members.

Angle Numero Dos: Parejas Increidbles

The other big match of the evening was AJ Styles, Kurt Angle, and Samoa Joe teaming up against Sting, Rhino, and Tom Coe in a battle of the guys who qualified for King of the Mountain versus the guys who failed to do so. The segment with Jim Cornette setting up the match in his office was f'ing brilliant. From what I've read/heard, this kick TNA is on of constantly forming teams of men who hate each other is a result of Dutch Mantell's booking, and it usually leaves me shaking my head since it a.) often makes no sense and b.) just flat out gets old. However, in thirty seconds, Cornette managed to take what would otherwise be a lame, nonsensical match and explain perfectly why it was taking place. When asked who the smartest person in the business is, a lot of wrestlers will say JBL, some will say Mick Foley, some will same Raven . . . but, for my money, stuff like this proves that Jim Cornette needs to be brought up in that category as well.

. . . but enough of the Smokey Mountain fanboy in me coming out to play. The in-ring action in this match was fine for what it was, but dear god did it get overbooked. Things are going to be bad enough any time that you've got men fighting their teammates as well as their opponents, but we also got Tom Coe being laid out by god knows who and Christopher Daniels running in to cost Sting the match. Really, the whole thing was a mess, but I would rather have it confined to a segment like this instead of taking up a couple of different interviews and nonsensical run-ins throughout the show as it has been over the last couple of weeks.

And, random question: Why wasn't Daniels attacking Sting a DQ?

Angle Numero Tres: Tag and Team, Bait and Switch

The best build for any match on the Slammaversary PPV, hands down, has been the Steiner Brothers vs. Dudley Boys encounter. They kicked it off with an awesome promo, followed it up last week with a great video package, and tonight they had a match in which the two teams briefly butted heads but definitely left the fans wanting much more. This is a textbook way to make sure that fans buy a pay per view to see a match. Take two teams, give them a believable reason to hate each other, have them cut promos saying that they hate each other, tease them fighting, and then let them fight on the big show. It's worked since the beginning of time, it worked for Wrestlemania this year, it's worked for UFC for the last year or so, and it can work in TNA if they're willing to commit to it. In short, it's AWESOME.

The problem? The match is not happening. Roughly two weeks ago, Scott Steiner was wrestling in Puerto Rico and suffered a serious injury in a tag team match against former TNA wrestler El Gran Apolo. Recent reports have said that not only will he be missing the pay per view, but he'll apparently be missing the rest of the year. Yet TNA keeps hyping up this match for the PPV that will not happen. I know that there are a lot of people out there trying to defend this move by saying that the shows hyping the match were taped well in advance of Steiner's injury and that they couldn't possibly have known that this would take place. However, the key here is that the shows are taped. There is nothing that would have prevented TNA editing the Dudley/Steiner segments out of the shows once they realized that the encounter could not actually occur. They tape a couple of extra matches every week for TNA Explosion or whatever the hell their syndicated show is called, and it wouldn't have been any big deal to simply insert those in the place of the Steiner/Dudley bits. At the very least, they could have run a crawl at the bottom of the screen letting fans know that there was an unexpected injury and the match wouldn't be taking place as it was promised. Proceeding without doing something like this is unfortunate, as repeated behavior like this can cost a wrestling promotion good will with its fanbase.

Oh well, at least I got to see the Steiner bulldog one more time. That was probably the biggest "mark out" moment that the company has given me in a year or two.

And the Rest . . .

~ I'm guessing this was just my cable system, but there was definitely a commercial for a "special encore" of the Royal Rumble on pay per view during this show. Seems odd to be re-running that show five months later.

~ Somebody wanna translate the Hector Guerrero promo for me?

~ I hate to say it since he entertained me so much in the early going, but Kevin Nash has overstayed his welcome.

~ There's a brawl in WWE, and it's broken up by Pat Patterson, Ricky Steamboat, Mike Rotundo, Dean Malenko, and Steve Keirn. There's a brawl in TNA, and it's broken up by Ron Harris, Terry Taylor, and Simon Diamond. Even the WWE geek squad owns the TNA geek squad.

Overall

Last week could've been the best TNA show in a long time if they didn't screw it up with that horrid final five minutes. This show was much the same style as the last one, and they didn't have the horrid last five minutes, so it WAS the best TNA show in a long time. They're focusing on telling stories in the ring, they're using only roughly half their roster throughout the show, and their focus is on promoting the pay per view instead of giving away top shelf matches in an unsuccessful attempt to pop TV ratings. The storylines were simple, they made sense for the most part, and almost everybody was utilized in a manner that highlights their strengths and hides their weaknesses. A big thumbs up to TNA this week. Hopefully after the PPV they manage to keep up this trend. If they combine it with the awesome storyline potential that is Abyss, they could have a better summer than the injury-maligned WWE.

That does it for this week. I'll be back in seven days to cover all of the fallout from Slammaversary. If you need more of me before that, check out the blog, where in the last week I've covered WCW's strangest matches, the Sopranos finale, recent WWE firings, and recent wrestling DVDs. It's good, clean fun.