The Impact Crater 07.05.07

Posted by Ryan Byers on 07.05.2007

Why can't every episode of Impact be like this?

Welcome, one and all, to the TNA Impact Crater. This week we've got the beginning of the last cycle of tapings before the big pay per view. (Victory Road? The names of these TNA shows are impossible to keep straight.) Last week was supposedly the company's "best show ever," although I wasn't quite as thrilled with it as the company wanted its fans to be. Let's see if TNA can actually deliver a good show this time around.

Quick & Dirty Results

Segment #1: The Dudley Boys def. LAX & AJ Styles/Chris Daniels in a three way to retain the TNA Tag Titles
Segment #2: Christian interview
Segment #3: Gail Kim def. Jackie Moore & Traci Brooks in a three way
Segment #4: Kurt Angle/Dudley Boys interview

Angle Numero Uno: Joe's Gonna Make Sure You're Healthy for the Next Couple Weeks and THEN Kill You

It's not quite as catchy of a chant, sadly.

For those of you keeping score at home, by virtue of their successful title defense to open up Impact this week, Bubba and D-Von Dudley have earned the right to compete in the main event of the next pay per view against Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe with all three men's championships being on the line. I don't say things like this about Impact very often, but those of you who missed the three way between the Dudleys, LAX, and Styles/Daniels this week need to go out of your way to catch the replay of this show on Saturday night. Seriously. People claimed that the hour long match last week was the best match in the history of TNA Impact. I already mentioned that those claims were ridiculously overblown, but now they look even more silly, because tonight's title match absolutely destroyed last week's title match in every way, shape, and form. These six men went out there and put it all in the line for a very exciting thirty minutes of television and were able to put on a performance far more entertaining than that of the singles wrestlers last week. Even more impressive was the fact that they did it without having to rely on the crutches of no DQ stips and five hundred run-ins. My hats off to all of the guys who were involved in the opener this week, especially Bubba and D-Von, who, though their characters are pretty stale, continually bust their asses in the ring whenever they need to prove themselves.

But that's not the only thing that happened tonight in order to build to your pay per view main event. Elsewhere, Samoa Joe cut a promo letting Kurt Angle know that he was going to do his best to keep the Olympic hero healthy until the pay per view, because that was a necessary part of Joe's mission to gain all of the gold in TNA. Then, in our main event interview segment of the evening, Kurt Angle was out to yammer about how great he is when the Dudleys interrupted and had words for him. It looked like they were going to put Angle through a table, but Joe made the save for the aforementioned reasons. However, Angle did not share his sentiments and dumped Joe through the table with an Olympic Slam. That wrapped up the show.

I've already gone on record a few times by saying that I'm not a huge fan of the PPV main event that TNA has devised this time around, partly because I'm sick of seeing the "tag partners who hate each other" angle on every show and partly because I think that they should have their main events finalized ASAP after the preceding pay per view in order to get as much time as possible to promote them. However, I will say that if they absolutely MUST go with this sort of match as a main event, tonight's booking was just about as good as you're going to get in terms of advancing the storyline in to the pay per view. If recent history has taught us anything, it's that people who have personal issues with one another fighting in the main event of a PPV is what draws in buyers. For the longest time I feared that's exactly what we weren't going to have on this upcoming show, as any issue pushed would be between partners Joe and Angle instead of between the people actually wrestling each other. Tonight, though, they at least managed to set up an issue between Angle and the Dudleys, although it may be a bit late to really flesh out said issue in a way that will be meaningful. At the very least, they're trying. The booking also gives Joe a legitimate reason to work with Angle on the show as opposed to simply beating the hell out of him on sight, which was something that had been missing until this week. So the main event build this week – which is the most important part of the show – was a thumbs up.

Really, though, I'm still lobbying for Bubba Ray Dudley: X Division Champion.

Angle Numero Dos: Crusading Against Christian

Christian Cage was once again pulling double duty this week, as both Abyss and Chris Harris want to get their hands on him. The build for the Harris match seemingly got lost in the shuffle, most likely due to the fact that he wasn't actually there to respond to the promo that Christian cut on him. However, if you're going to have anybody cut a promo on your behalf, it should probably be Jim Cornette, and that's exactly who TNA had acting as the Wildcat's stand-in. Really it made me believe even more strongly that Cornette should cut EVERYBODY'S promos for them, as he's probably the best stick guy in the company (now that Konnan's gone) despite the fact that he can't wrestle a lick. I'm getting serious about this. Just picture it: At the beginning of every episode of Impact, two lines of wrestlers form, one of faces and one of heels. Jim Cornette is standing in the center of the ring. Two wrestlers who are going to face each other at the pay per view get in to the ring at the same time. The face whispers in to Cornette's ear a few points that he wants to get across, and Cornette cuts the promo for him. Then the heel does the same thing, and Cornette cuts that promo as well. This cycle could continue with every feud on the roster for the next twenty minutes, and TNA by default would have the best interviews of any North American promotion.

On the other side of Christian's two-front war, Sting and Abyss have apparently reunited, though an explanation of that fact would've been nice BEFORE Sting ran out and assisted him in last week's melee. Given that Sting and Abyss have put together as a unit, you'd think that they're headed in to a tag match against Christian's cronies at the next pay per view as opposed to doing the Abyss/Christian singles match, which, once again, is great. For once TNA is actually taking the time to make something special instead of just throwing it out on PPV willy nilly. Also, according to Sting, Abyss will be speaking for the first time next week. I know that a few people are down on this idea, but I have no problem with it. Unless they're giving him another manager, he's going to have to say something eventually, and now's as good of a time as any. Plus they've actually decided to give this a week's build instead of just throwing it out there on TV, so it might actually help their ratings. It's also EXACTLY the sort of thing that should be done on TV after a short build as opposed to being put on pay per view, because I sincerely doubt that somebody will plunk down $30 for a promo, although they might go out of their way to watch a free show in order to see it. So, much like the main event angle, this is all going very well.

And the Rest . . .

~ In a pre-match video package for the tag bout, Homicide briefly noted that Konnan is out of LAX. There wasn't a decent reason given for his disappearance, but I can live with that since you don't want to devote a ton of TV time to discussing a man who's no longer with your company. Homicide did a very good job in his first night as the team's mouthpiece, much as I suspected he would. BRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAT~!

~ I never need to see Lance Hoyt and Christy Hemme making out again . . . though it did look like Hoyt was wearing one of Christy's tank tops, and that gave me a chuckle.

~ Rhino has now explained that he doesn't like James Storm pouring beer on him because it reminds him of his father's alcohol abuse and his own alcohol abuse. Usually angles like this can come off as cheesy or over the top, but Rhino played his role very well here and made the whole story believable. Plus he didn't come off as a total geek for choosing to not drink, which is always a risk you run when marketing primarily to young men. My only issue with the angle now is that nobody's ever explained exactly why Storm hates Rhino enough to come out and cost him the World Title last week.

~ There was a really good women's match on the show this week as well. When I heard that the WWF released Gail Kim, I didn't think it was any big loss, but now I'm wondering how the hell they possibly could've done such a thing.

~ Of course, my problem with the women's match was that, at the end, the whole thing was just being used to set up yet ANOTHER Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode match. I really dig Young, and Roode has shown flashes of greatness from time to time, but, seriously, enough is enough with this rivalry. One or both of them need to move up the card, and they definitely need to move away from each other.

~ Ultimate X is back at the next PPV. God forbid that this company actually have a reason for doing a gimmick match. Nah, let's just throw out a stip for the sake of having one more stip on Final Justice or whatever the hell the PPV is called.

Overall

TNA did very well tonight. The two matches that they aired were both very good, although at this point I would like to see whether they can do the same with a straight up singles matches instead of constantly having to rely on three-ways and other multi-competitor matches. However, even more important than the in-ring action was the storytelling, which, given the corners that they'd already booked themselves in to, was top notch. For quite some time I've advocated an Impact program in which the top two or three rivalries get at least seventy-five percent of the television time, and that has actually been happening over the course of the last couple of weeks. In the past, the problem with TNA had been that every single man on the roster needed to get on TV, meaning that the main event angles got next to no time and thus didn't stick out as being important. When your main events aren't important, nobody is going to pay to see them, and, as a result, TNA's buyrates have been in the toilet forever. (Despite what Kurt Angle may claim about bringing them up to record levels.) This entire show featured simple, effective storytelling that will entice people to buy big shows, as was proven by UFC last year and WWE's efforts in promoting Wrestlemania this year. Kudos to TNA, as this is exactly the sort of show that they need to be churning out on a consistent basis.

Reader Feedback

First-time writer but long-time reader Larry says:

Am a regular reader of the Impact Crater. You give a very fair assessment of TNA's preformance.

This week, whenever I came into contact with anything wrestling, - reading a column, listening to Kane's Slow Chemical theme on my Ipod, or seeing my SmackDown Here Comes the Pain VideoGame, I felt a solid twinge. This is a twinge that I think many longtime wrestling fans have felt this week. For some, it will permanently turn them off to wrestling. However, reading your column was the first time this week that I did not feel that same twinge and could laugh a little at TNAs cluster booking.

Glad to hear that you enjoy the column. The last thing I expected to get in response to it was an e-mail relating to the Benoit situation, but I'm happy to help in any way that I can, even if it's indirectly. I did intentionally avoid discussing the matter since a.) it's completely unrelated to what I'm supposed to be writing about and b.) I know that whenever I'm dealing with an issue like this, it's nice to get away from it for a while. I'm sure that others feel the same way.

A man referring to himself only as "WCW F JoJo" wrote:

Of course, you know as well as I do that if TNA just ran that one match for the whole show without any run-ins and attacks and any setting up of other feuds, you would have lambasted them for not developing the PPV and just giving away a PPV match on TV.

Because that's what you do. Your column, "What's wrong with Impact?" does that every week.

They also said it was no DQ last week, and at the start of the match. But I know you hearing that would negate your ability to complain about it. So it's understandable that you missed it.

So where are you the weeks that I do actually praise the product? I wrote a very positive piece just three weeks ago, and I did another one tonight. It's funny that I get these e-mails claiming that I "always" go out of my way to rip apart the product when the company puts on a bad show, but none of the TNAndroids are around to pat me on the back when I actually provide their favorite promotion with a thumbs up.

I call the program like I see it. Yes, there are more weeks that I dislike it than weeks that I like it. However, claiming that I'm not giving them a fair shake is ignoring a good deal of what I've written.

And thank you, gentle reader, for not ignoring what I've written this week. If you're interested in getting my thoughts on the wrestling world outside of TNA, I have officially replaced Stuart Carapola as the author of 411's Sunday news report, and I will be back with a new edition of that in just three days. Plus, if you can't wait that long to get more of me, there's always the blog, which was updated this past week with a review of SHIMMER Volume 7.