411’s WWE Smackdown Report 08.03.07

Weclome to the Smackdown Report. Thanks to Larry for covering for me last week as my computer took a crapper and is still being worked on. I’m taking a break on the point system untill I get it back. So to replace that I will now be official and give match times and ratings! Let’s do this.

We kick the show off with Teddy Long and Krystal coming out. Krystal gets on the mic and says “Teddylicious” has an announcement. Long Announces that on Friday, September 21, he and Krystal will get married on Smackdown. Great Khali breaks up this touching moment however. Khali gets on the mic and that goes as well as a toothing infant and he scares Krystal out of the ring. Mr. Translator Guy gets the mic and says Great Khali is disappointed about last week as himself, his culture, and his World Championship win was supposed to be celebrated until Batista ruins it. Long says he doesn’t give a damn about what Khali thinks and he books Batista vs. Great Khali for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Explosions go off and Kane makes his way to the ring as we go to commercial. Strange.

Commercial

We’re back and Chris Masters is getting in the ring. I have no idea what the point of Kane interrupting was.

Match #1: Chris Masters vs. Kane 12:31 19:45

They lock up and Kane gets a head lock with Kane shoving him down. Lock up again and Masters locks in a headlock but Kane shoves him off. Masters shoulder blocks him down but Kane comes back with an uppercut. Kane works on the left arm and drives an elbow into it. Kane shoulders blocks Masters a few times but Kane goes for a running splash and Masters nails a high elbow. Masters goes for the Masterlock but Kane gets out. Kane goes for the Chokeslam but Masters slips out of the ring. Kane goes to the ropes and Masters guillotines him. Masters takes control of the match with a modified chin lock. Kane elbows his way out but Masters nails a swinging neckbreaker for two. Chinlock again by Masters but Kane nails a back drop. GOOZLE by Kane but Masters gets to the ropes and he tries to lock in the Masterlock but Kane fights out. Masters goes for a suplex but Kane counters with one of his own followed by a big boot. A HUGE uppercut by Kane and a few elbows. A couple of running clothesline to the corner and then a sidewalk slam by Kane. Kane goes to the top rope and misses the clothesline and Masters locks in the Masterlock. Kane is able to get to the ropes though. Masters goes for another but Kane gets away and nails the Chokeslam for the win! About as good of a match you will get from this combination. **

Winner: Kane via pin fall @ 7:14

In the back, Deuce & Domino talk about their match with Ric Flair and Batista. Deuce says he will take out Batista for making looks at Cherry.

Commercial

We get a Chuck Palumbo video of him riding a bike. I miss the days of Billy & Chuck. Well….never mind.

Match #2: Mark Henry vs. Nate Nickerson

Why haven’t Batista and Henry have their blow off match yet? Anyway, Henry takes down Nate, lifts him up and nails a gut buster, whips him down, and locks in the Bearhug for the win. Squash match. ¼*

Winner: Mark Henry via submission @ 1:40

After the match, Henry gets on the mic and brags himself up and talks about this being his jungle. Nobody can beat him. He shows a video of himself destroying Undertaker.

We get a video on Jesse and Festus talking about fashion. Debut them already!

Next we get an Arm Wrestling Contest between Matt Hardy and MVP.

Commercial

We come back and Matt Hardy comes to the ring for the Arm Wrestling Contest. On a side note, I am really digging this feud and am happy that Hardy is finally getting a good title feud. MVP comes on out and he takes a while to start the contest. They finally grip hands but MVP wraps his leg around the table so the ref tells him. MVP then gets some wrist tape and tapes his hand. They bring it in but MVP backs away before the ref counts 3. MVP takes off the wrist tape and then chalks his hand. They lock up but MVP backs away so he can warm up and then Hardy drags his hand into the contest and they are at an even level. MVP starts to push down Hardy’s arm but Hardy fight back and wins it. MVP grabs the mic and says he wasn’t ready and Hardy can’t beat him in a fair way. MVP challenges Hardy to a match right on the spot and Hardy gladly accepts.

Commercial

Match #3: Matt Hardy vs. WWE United States Champion MVP

Both men lock up and Hardy gets a kick in and works on MVP in the corner. Hardy works on the arm of MVP until he gets to the ropes. MVP gets a cheap shot in and nails an elbow. MVP goes for an arm drag but Hardy counters into one of his own and then an armbar. Hardy lets go of the hold and nails MVP with a flatliner. Hardy works on the arm more and rolls him up for two. MVP gets hit with an elbow and then Hardy goes to the top and nails a top rope elbow. MVP goes to the ring apron and suckers Hardy into coming over and hangs him out to dry on the ropes. Snapmare by MVP followed by a big kick for two. MVP locks in a modified abdominal stretch but Hardy gets out and nails a clothesline. Hardy misses an elbow drop though and MVP works on the leg of Hardy and big boots Hardy out of the ring. MVP brings Hardy into the ring and gets a two count. MVP locks in a modified headlock but Hardy pounds away and escapes only to be met with a takedown by MVP. MVP locks in another modified head lock and Hardy puts MVP on the turnbuckle though. Hardy pounds away and nails a Superplex! Both men to their feet and MVP throws some jabs but Hardy nails a clothesline. Small Package for two by Hardy. Running splash by Hardy but he misses the bulldog but is able to get behind MVP and nail the bulldog on his second attempt. MVP on the outside of the ring now and Hardy nails the baseball slide and rolls MVP back in the ring. MVP goes for the clothesline but Hardy ducks and Side Effect! Scoop slam by Hardy followed by the “Ahhhhh! I’m on the top rope so look at me!” leg drop for a two count. Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate but MVP shoves him, runs out of the ring, and leaves with his belt for the count out loss. ***1/4 Good stuff there and I don’t mind the finish as it continues the feud. I’m feeling a ladder match at Summerslam brewing.

Winner: Matt Hardy via pin fall @ 11:13

In the back, Deuce is looking for Cherry and a random guy says he went into a room and the room turns out to be Batista’s. Cherry comes out and Deuce freaks out until Domino comes and gets them. Batista comes out of nowhere and opens the door with Ric Flair smiling at him about Cherry. Oh that Cherry poppin’ Flair!

Commercial

In the back, Shannon Moore and Funaki make fun of Jaime Noble for getting beat by Hornswoggle. Noble says he will make an example out of Moore and that he will have nothing to laugh about. Hornswoggle is listening in from a trash can behind them.

Rey Mysterio video package saying he is coming back at Summerslam.

Vicky Guerrero and Krystal are talking in the back and Chavo Guerrero interrupts. He talks to Vicky about Rey comming back as a one legged wrestler and hopes he does come back so he can put him out of his misery. Vicky then books Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio at Summerslam.

Commercial

Match #4: Jaime Noble vs. Shannon Moore

They lock up with Noble pounding away on Moore in the corner. Northern Lights Suplex by Noble for two. Noble locks in a headlock but Moore fights back. Noble gets back on top with a snapmare and a knee drop. Headlock by Noble and then a scoop slam. Another headlock by Noble and then he goes for the Tiger Driver but Moore back drops him. Moore with an elbow and then a corkscrew moonsault from the top. Noble fights back with a flying knee and then hits the Gutbuster for the win. *1/2

Winner: Jamie Noble @ 3:45

After the match, Hornswoggle taunts Noble, slips under the ring, and then nails Noble with a pie! Noble goes after him and Hornswoggle uses a fire extinguisher on him and runs away!

Commercial

Match #5: Jimmy Wang Yang w/ Torrie Wilson vs. Kenny Dykstra w/ Victoria

They lock up and Kenny gets a headlock and then a takedown. He talks trash and Yang drop toe holds him and locks in a headlock. Kenny gets out and puts Yang on the turnbuckle. Yang boots him and nails a top rope headscissors that sends Kenny out of the ring and Yang flies over the ropes onto him. Both men in the ring and Kenny takes Yang down hard. Neckbreaker by Kenny for two. Headlock by Kenny and then a takedown for two. Scoop slam by Kenny and a forearm drop from the playbook of Steve Austin. Chin lock by Kenny followed by a few hits to the back. Tree of Woe set up to Yang and Kenny pounds away on him. Victoria hits him and Torrie goes over and distracts Kenny so Yang nails a dropkick. Right hands by Yang followed by a jumping side kick. Running rolling kick by Yang and he goes for the top rope Crossbody but Kenny gets the knees up for two. Kenny goes to the top and Yang meets him with a spinning heel kick for two. Elbow by Yang but he goes to the top and Kenny stops him. He goes for the top rope back suplex but Yang fights him off and nails the Moonsault for the win! **

Winner: Jimmy Wang Yang via pin fall @ 6:03

Commercial

Match #6: Batista and Ric Flair vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Deuce & Domino w/Cherry (non title)

Batista and Deuce lock up and Deuce pounds away until Batista gets a kick in and fights back. High elbow by Batista and tag to Flair. Flair takes him down and nails a hip toss. Tag to Batista and Batista clubs away. Armbar by Batista but Deuce gets a tag to Domino. Batista shoulder thrusts Domino and tags in Flair. Domino fights back and nails a scoop slam to Flair. Tag to Deuce and he pounds away on Flair. Tag to Domino and he takes down Flair. Tag to Deuce and he takes down Flair as we go to commercial.

Commercial

We’re back and Flair tags Batista and beats up on Deuce. Knee to the gut of Deuce. Tag to Flair and he wears down the legs of Deuce and locks in the Figure Four until Domino breaks it. Tag to Domino he locks in an armlock. Flair gets up but Domino takes him down again and then nails a shoulder block. Deuce pounds away in the corner and Flair does the drop. Knee drops to Flair and he gets a two count. Deuce pounds away again but Flair chops back. Deuce hits a big hit and tags Domino. Domino locks in a modified arm bar and pounds away on the shoulder. Tag to Deuce but Flair fights for his life with chops until Deuce takes him down and locks in a shoulder lock. Tag to Domino but Flair fights off both men with chops but Domino tags Deuce in to prevent the tag to Batista and both Flair and Deuce hit heads. Tag to Domino and tag to Batista! Batista cleans house with clotheslines and spears. Side slam to Domino and Batista calls for the Batista Bomb but Great Khali’s music plays. Deuce jumps Batista from behind and both Deuce & Domino hits him with the Crack Em’ in the Mouth. The bell rings for I’m assuming a DQ at 14: 05. Khali takes out Flair to send a message to Batista. **

Winners: Batista and Ric Flair via DQ @ 14:05

After thoughts: Decent show this week. I’m excitied for Summerslam. Rey vs. Chavo, Cena vs. Orton, probably MVP vs. Hardy. Both those men continue to carry Smackdown on their backs. See you next week.