The Impact Crater 8.23.07
Posted by Nick Marsico on 08.24.2007
Hi, I'm Nick Marsico and I'm just as annoyed with TNA as Ryan is, so really this is still your regularly scheduled programming. Enjoy.
Byers isn't here this week. I heard something about Byers not being his real name and something about pleading guilty to something about dogs and whatnot. I'm not going to go any further because I'd rather not implicate myself with anything involving that situation, but I find what the man did to be disgusting. Let's move on with TNA, something I find to be even more disgusting.
Quick ‘n Dirty (TOTALLY stolen from my column) Results
Segment #1: Kazarian & Gail Kim def. Robert Roode & Ms. Brooks
Segment #2: Ron Killings def. Eric Young
Segment #3: Christian's Coalition beats down Samoa Joe
Segment #4: Kurt Angle def. Rick and Scott Steiner
Angle Number Uno: Karen Hates Kurt Again Because He Might Get Her Legally Raped By A Pair of Big Dudes
I'm confused here. In the build to Hard Justice, Karen Angle was introduced and she hated Kurt Angle and wanted a divorce. At Hard Justice she made her SHOCKING turn and revealed that it was all just a ruse and they were, in fact, a very happy couple. Jim Cornette then decided that because of Karen's actions in collusion with her husband, Kurt would have to fight the Steiners two on one this week and if he lost, the two men would get to have five minutes alone in the ring with his wife. Due to this, Karen was once again completely on Kurt's case, yelling and screaming at him for the duration of the night. That's a big problem I'm having with TNA. Other than James Storm and Miss Jackie Moore, they can't seem to book a heel team with a male and his female valet who get along. Gail Kim only got along with Jarrett, AMW and that gang for a very short time, Karen and Kurt seem to be at odds, and Robert Roode and Ms. Brooks have had problems with each other on almost every episode they've been on, including the very first show they appeared on together. I'll talk more about Traci and Roode in a bit.
On top of this ridiculous mess, last I checked Kurt Angle has three titles to defend in a few weeks' time. On this show they did just about nothing to build to that. That's a problem. They did a little bit to build Killings and Pacman as heels, but that was already well established and didn't need an extra week with no interaction with their opponent at the PPV to show for. Jay Lethal didn't appear on the show at all and I don't remember if he was even mentioned by name, and the only mention of Abyss was in a video promo about a future match rather than the match he has coming up at the beginning of September for the World Title. I don't get it. Why are they wasting time? Instead of building up to ANY of Kurt's three title defenses on PPV, they decided to focus on how he and his wife got themselves into a mess and how Kurt has to get them out of it?
Look, if they didn't spend the entire show cutting in on segments with Kurt and his wife it would have been one thing, because then the show could have been about the Dudleys and Steiners. But they didn't do it that way. Instead, they spent a whole show building up to the end of the show. That's all. The stuff that happened with Kurt and Karen has nothing to do with what Kurt is doing next week and it has nothing to do with what Kurt is doing at the PPV. That's a fucking problem. Now we're left with only two episodes of Impact and there has been absolutely no build for any of Kurt's three title defenses. We did learn this week that next week we will find out who Kurt's partner for No Surrender will be, though. That's a little bit of build, I guess, but there were no signs or hints this week about it, so what's the point? Very poorly done. Oh, and it's a four way between Joe, Styles, Sting and Christian. The winner of that will be Kurt's partner. I guess that means that it's a four way match to determine one half of the Tag Team Champions. I can see that they really put a lot of thought into this.
Angle Numero Dos: Christian Gets The Upper Hand And Joe Looks Like An Idiot Again
So Christian said on Tuesday that he wouldn't be at Impact on Thursday. He wanted Tomko and Styles to take care of Joe for him. So they attempted to do just that, and at first, it looked like it was going to go alright this week for ‘ol Samoa Joe. He was ready and waiting for the pair of buffoons and took out Tomko in his dressing room when the two men came knocking. He then attacked AJ and chased him out into the Impact Zone where somewhere off camera Christian Cage was just lying in wait with a chair. And lo and behold, once again Samoa Joe looks like an unprepared idiot who doesn't understand who he's dealing with, and suffers a one man conchairto for his trouble.
Like Byers said last week, they really did a terrible job transitioning into this feud. Shouldn't Joe still be worried about Kurt Angle? Kurt and his wife completely screwed Joe out of his shot at holding all of the titles, and the next episode of TV Joe, instead of going after them, hears an off-hand comment that Christian has literally making for months and months and it sets him off to the point where he no longer cares about Kurt Angle because taking care of some dope who he already knows is a loud mouth is more important? Very shoddy writing here.
At least we'll probably get a good match out of the deal, because Joe/Christian from whatever PPV Christian defended his title against him on was very good. I still hate the failure to wrap up loose ends, though. Harris and Storm have not settled their rivalry and seem to not care. Abyss and Christian's rivalry ended in one of the worst ways possible and now both men are on to different things immediately after and it's as though nothing ever happened between them. And now Kurt and Joe are also done without a satisfying way to get some closure on their feud. Horrible, terrible writing.
Angle Numero Tres: Dose Damn Dudleyz Fooled Us
Did it really have any meaning? Ray and Devon cut a promo about how they were sorry about how they had been acting and didn't want to disrespect the Steiners. They were being idiots and apologized. Then, about twenty minutes later they were interfering in the main event and they took out both Steiner Brothers including a super bomb through a table. Look, things like this can work. When Cade and Murdoch turned their ways around and started being polite, wrestling fair matches and shook the hands of the Hardys, it worked because they went with it for a couple months before they turned back heel again. They also did it right in the sense that the commentators didn't buy it at first and had to be convinced that Cade and Murdoch really did mean what they were saying. That kind of stuff takes time, and it means something when it turns out it was a ruse, because after a little bit of time, the crowd starts liking you and they'll hate you even more once you turn your back on them. Instead, the Dudleys said they were sorry, Tenay and West immediately believed them, even though 3D beat them up one week, and a short few minutes later 3D came out and attacked the Steiners. What was that supposed to accomplish? Did anybody REALLY buy that they were sorry? No.
The promo they cut is something that should be done on the first episode of television after the match. They could have spent an entire month trying to make everybody believe that they were good guys who had just lost their heads for a little while and gotten the Steiners to agree to a respectful rematch. Then, either the last Impact before the PPV they could have turned on them in order to get in their heads or they could have carried it all the way to the PPV where they could have cheated to win the match. That's how an angle works. You spend some time on it and make it mean something. You don't do it in one night. Another thing poorly done.
Everything Else
- Another feud that was bad throughout was the whole Serotonin angle and the Raven/Kazarian feud. The whole thing was a very good concept that came off very badly on television and ended fairly abruptly with no real good build. Now Kazarian has moved on and looks to be hopefully rising up in the ranks of TNA, which is a good thing, and he has for now set his sights on Robert Roode. This week he teamed with Gail Kim and they defeated the team of Robert Roode and Ms. Brooks. After a short but good match, Brooks and Roode had another argument, and Kazarian chased Roode off and told him that he knows how to treat a lady and proceeded to give Traci a little kiss on the cheek that she appeared to enjoy. This was a very strong segment, I thought, and I'm looking forward to finally seeing something fresh and new from Kazarian and Roode, two good young talents who have been stuck in shitty storylines for too long.
- This week was the 100th episode of Impact on Spike TV. You'd think that they would capitalize on that and promise something special and give it a little bit of build for a few weeks. Something. TNA can use all the help they can get, and simple things like that can help get people interested about what might happen on what is being promoted as a special show. Instead it was a wasted opportunity.
- James Storm went bar hopping looking for Rhino because he wants to beat him up, and he figures that since Rhino fell off the wagon during their PPV match, he must be at a bar somewhere. This was basically a few minutes of a waste of television. There was a little comedy (Storm seeing some fat old lady and thinking it was Rhino), but it's another non useful segment in another poorly done feud, one that originally had some potential but was pissed away by a lack of talent creatively. It's a shame someone as good as Storm has to be wasted like this.
- Eric Young lost to Ron Killings and then got beat up by Killings and got PAC spray painted on his back by Pacman Jones. I talked a little about Team Pacman above, and yeah, we get it, they're heels. Yay. What a waste with Eric Young, though. Chances are he's not going to get to retaliate, and he's going to probably just be directionless. He was just about THE hottest guy in the company for a while, but the botched conclusion of the angle with Robert Roode really has hurt him and now they probably don't have anything for him.
- Judas Mesias is coming for Abyss.
- Dustin Rhodes is a nice guy who cheers for Eric Young, but Black Reign is a big meanie.
Overall
It may not seem like it, but I didn't hate this show. It was fairly entertaining and nothing was boring. The problem is that for the most part they did a terrible job making me care about anybody. Other than Roode and Kazarian, there was no good build up for the upcoming PPV and it's just very bothersome. I guess I can use the old Byers standby when you need something good to say about the show and say that at least the pacing was very good.
And now I'll let Ryan take it away:
Reader Feedback
Hola, Crater loyalists. Ryan here. First of all, I'd like to thank Nick for taking the reigns this week as I'm out of town and unable to catch the show. However, I do still have the time necessary to take a look at a little bit of the feedback from last week's program.
Let's take a look at it, shall we?
We'll start with the Crater's most regular regular, John R.:
Ok Ryan I'm going to start this off by doing something that I don't even think Meehan can do: find something positive about this monstrosity otherwise known as TNA's booking. Before I do that let's just say I completely agree with you on congratulation TNA for screwing up the best angle they've had (actually the only one) in blowing off Abyss/Christian on free TV. Way to go guys! I don't care if you do want to have Joe/Christian II, don't do it at the expense of blowing off this feud with a stupid first blood match ok? Now I have no reason to watch their payoff should they choose to have one. This blew on all levels, but moving on:
(Takes a few shots of hard liquor) Now I'm going to try to find some good in what they're doing, wish me luck.
First off, the X-Division title: Knowing that they had to begin making this title somewhat relevant in the eyes of the fan, I like the way they brought up the number one contender's match between Daniels-Black Machismo. Having Machismo win could potentially set him up with a great match against Angle at No Surrender. I know what some people are thinking, "how the heck can he beat Angle?" Remember this is the same guy who had a great match against Jarrett a while back, and I think that the best way to really give the X-Division title and him some rub is to have him win. Unfortunately though I see that only happening through Joe-ference, but at least it will give Lethal a rub and it won't bury Angle too bad. He'll obviously win the World title match against Abyss.
Whew that was tough, I'll try to picture a scenario that will put the tag titles on a deserving team and NO I don't mean Team Pacman. Ok, say Angle was unable to find a tag partner to defend the titles. This is where his association with Nash comes into play. Perhaps he could have the MCMG's defend the title for him by proxy while the next few weeks are dedicated to finding out who will be the next member of Team Pacman. Although most people are down on him, I think at the very least his presence and that of Ron Killings/partner to be named later will be more interesting than the Bashams who were great wrestlers but let's face it they were bland.
As for Samoa Joe, I am going to play devil's advocate here about his misguided anger towards Christian. Who's to say that he wasn't aiming for Angle at first only to have Christian become the unfortunate person who first crossed his path? This can work as a springboard to build Joe back up, by having him become the first person to have Christian pin/submit and will make him stronger going into his match at BFG. Maybe having him being played for a sucker will re-awaken the monster Joe that had been lost over the past year. We've seen it all the time in wrestling, hopefully TNA will build on that idea.
As you've probably already figured out, I'm not big on being positive for the sake of being positive. Positivity should be reserved for things that are actually good, otherwise nothing but mediocrity is encouraged. Anyway, there certainly is potential for TNA to create a good wrestling product. There's always potential for TNA to put on a good wrestling product, because they have a highly skilled roster. Of course, it's the writing that's the problem.
On your Jay Lethal idea, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he took the belt off of Angle at the pay per view, whether Joe gets involved or not. However (and you can feel free to call this unwarranted cynicism if you want), I'm betting that the title victory will wind up doing absolutely nothing for Mr. Lethal in the long run. It's probably going to be much the same scenario that we saw with Triple H time and time again during his dominant runs: The lower card guy gets a fluke victory, but then the lower card guy receives absolutely no follow-up push and fails to become a major player. That way, a new star hasn't actually been made, so there's nobody to try to take away the top guy's spot. However, when the top guy is criticized for not doing any jobs, he can say, "Hey, but I put over Jay Lethal!" completely ignoring the fact that there is a massive difference between letting people win matches and truly putting them over.
And, as much as I hate to say it, I really doubt that Samoa Joe was aiming for Kurt Angle when he tossed that watermelon at Christian. Angle was nowhere to be seen.
Back for his second consecutive week is Will of Nottingham:
I'm a TNA mark most of the time, I'll readily admit it. I dig Nash's comedy segments even though they have no place near the world title. I can see why they'd go for the big publicity with Pacman - even though he's not only proved awful at promos but unable to keep a straight face
during a stretcher job. Karen Angle makes a great heel manager for Kurt, she's a natural. Tha Trademarc however - well it could be part of his pay deal for doing Angle's new music but why put someone on TV who's previous wrestling experience is... being John Cena's cousin?
All in all TNA is beginning to suck the life out of me the same way the WWE did before I quit watching it. The burying of home grown talent for the big stars is going to rip the heart out of the company. If they are going to bring stars in from elsewhere keep them young and fresh, or at
least interesting. Bringing in Sodom (Mark Jindrak) to go with Gomorrah (Matt Morgan) would give them another strong tag team with some experience - I was impressed with them from what I saw in Hustle. Bringing in Rick Steiner gives the a few pops, then the crowd is going to realise that neither of them can move any more and it's not the Steiners of old. Bringing in Cheerleader Melissa would add another talented (and foxy, especially gothed up at Shimmer 8 to show solidarity with MsChif) female to build a women's division around. Bringing in Nikki Roxx and having her dance around like she's the Boogeywoman just made the crowd dump on the VKM from a higher height. Old school fans may appreciate the uber-Memphisosity of some of the recent angles, but for a fed that's supposed to be cutting edge it's just going to drive fans away.
Anyone want to give ROH a TV deal? Or PWG? Maybe I'll just have to get back to Japanese Indy Sleaze...
First of all, I do think that Karen is doing a pretty good job with her character. She reminds me of Kimberly Page when Kim was doing the heel valet schtick with the New Blood in WCW, and that's a good thing. However, no matter how good she may be in her role, she's absolutely the wrong thing for the company at this point in their existence. They go on and on and on about how they don't have enough TV time to showcase all of their talent, yet they hire a non-wrestler to eat up television time that could be given to one of the wrestlers they claim deserves more exposure. It's hypocritical. The same argument applies with equal weight to Trade Mark, though he's not even talented based on what we've seen so far. Of course, there's an outside chance that he'll never been seen again after the payoff for the "swerve," so perhaps we should be taking more of a wait and see approach to that one.
Karen Angle is far from the only problematic TNA signing as of late. I do have to disagree with you about Rick Steiner, though. From what I understand, he's got a short-term deal and isn't meant to be a permanent part of the promotion. The Steiners versus Dudleys feud has delivered, so, even though I can't imagine wanting to see Rick in the company beyond its conclusion, he's fine there for the time being. I agree that Mark Jindrak could be a valuable asset to the company. He was coming along quite nicely in WCW with a unique combination of power and speed, but then he went to WWE and had the constraints of their generic "big man" style slapped on to him. Since that time, he's primarily been competing in Mexico, and people who track the action south of the border have told me that he is far, far better now that he's once again able to highlight what his natural athleticism allows him to do. As 411's resident SHIMMER mark, I fully endorse bringing in Melissa and allowing Nikki Roxx to be Nikki Roxx. They would immediately be the best female wrestlers on the roster.
And, to wrap things up, here's Andy J.:
In a lot of ways it's pointless me writing in to you with impact feedback, because I know practically every other TNA fan on the planet is writing in to you saying the same shit. But I have to vent!!! I've long been accustomed to wrestling promotions pissing away great angles, characters, etc. so it should say a lot that this is the FIRST ever time I've been moved to write in to somebody on the IWC about it.
What the fuck is TNA doing!!!?? Quite frankly, I'm absolutely sick of the bullshit they pull on their fans and may stop watching it very soon. It's tragic, when this time last year I loved it - remember the styles-daniels/LAX feud? Samoa Joe's charge to the top? How quickly things change. Kurt Angle's push has buried the entire roster. They bring in Andrew "no heat" Martin - why?? what could it possibly achieve??? The whole thing is shambolic, the utter arrogance and vanity of some of the folks up there is a disgrace. Blowing off the Cage/Abyss feud on free TV in a screwy 10 minute match? Burying Samoa Joe (my favourite wrestler btw), the hottest prospect to emerge in recent years at the expense of what - ex-wwe talent? I mean, jobbing to Tomko, what the fuck!!??? It's become WCW, which perhaps shouldnt be surprising given the prescence of Jarrett, russo, Nash, etc. As somebody said in your column this week, TNA could put on blowaway shows every week with the talent they have. There's no need for the dusty finishes, russo-swerves and bullshit badly acted, convoluted soap opera angles they force down our throats every week. The contempt for the fans from some of the higher-ups is staggering.
Think how easily it could change. A little bit of simplification and common sense -
RELEASE VKM, dustin rhodes, test, Nash, Backlund, Karen Angle etc. and the all other wastes of space. Notice how none of those names are homegrown talent?
Stop putting the titles on "legends" past their prime. 3D are so stale its criminal, yet they seem to have been constantly feuding for the tag titles forever. Push the MURDER CITY MACHINE GUNS now!!! MCMG/LAX feud is money in the fucking bank. Hell, MCMG/XXX is money. Give the X-division its pride back, x-division wrestlers dont need stupid gimmicks to get over, let them do what they do best - entertain the crowd.
Clear up the mid-card. If rhodes, test, Nash, tomko etc. weren't there then there would be more time for the people who deserve it - Harris, storm, roode, young, etc. AJ Styles has become a pussy and should be a main-eventer. Had you noticed as well - now Angle holds all the gold, he is the second ever "triple crown" champion after AJ? unbelievable. talk about spitting in the face of your own talent. Joe should be world champion, and should be for a long reign, its that simple.
The fans dont want wacky swerves, gimmicks and shit characters, and stale so-called legends past their prime. We want blood fueds with payoffs, we want badass characters, we want believable cocky heels that we're all glad to finally see get their comeuppance, we want high-flying matches, we want WRESTLING, modern-day entertaining wrestling, not some wannabe fake-WWE bullshit.
I think the whole voodoo kin mafia angle sums up TNA right now perfectly - I mean, seriously, what the fuck?? was that meant to be clever, edgy? It was stupid, lame, pathetic and counter-effective.
The sad thing is, I can't see any way out for TNA. It will be always be Jarrett & friends booking this mess, and therefore it will always be bullshit. It drives me mad. For the first time ever I'm actually thinking Joe, AJ, daniels etc. would be better off in WWE, and now THAT is saying something.
And, of course, Andy isn't alone in his feelings. I see e-mails like this every week, from many people . . . some of whom have been TNA fans for years and some of whom just recently began watching the company. At the end of the day, though, what people who are dissatisfied with TNA need to realize is that they're not going to change anything simply by complaining about the product. The only way to bring about change is to do something that affects the company's bottom line. So, if you don't like what TNA is doing, don't buy their pay per views, don't buy their DVDs, don't buy their merchandise, and don't do anything else that will give TNA money. That is what will actually create change, and it's something that I started doing a long time ago.
I see a lot of people say that, even though they hate the booking, they'll still buy TNA DVDs or PPVs because you're always guaranteed some good matches. Well, STOP. When you buy that pay per view, TNA doesn't know that it's because you want to see the undercard X Division match. What TNA (or any wrestling company, really) assumes is that your purchase of the program is a big thumbs up to the entire direction of the product, both the good and the criminally bad. Despite the fact that I always see plenty of complaining, TNA's buyrates always remain virtually the same, and their DVDs still do fairly well in sales. If people really hate the company's product that much, they need to do their part to bring those numbers down.
And, speaking of going down, it's time to wrap up this edition of the Crater. Once again, big thanks are in order to Nick for filling in, and I'll see you all next week.
Okay, Nick talking again. I'm outta here, and Ryan will be back here next week. You can check out my column, The News to Start Your Weekend by clicking that link, and you can check out Ryan's archives here and check out his column from this past Sunday, the Custom Made News Report.
