411’s WWE Heatocity Report 10.28.07
Posted by Scott Slimmer on 10.28.2007
We’ve got all of the usual action you’ve come to expect from Heat, plus Chuck Palumbo vs. Kenny Dykstra in a very special Velocity Tribute Match.
Hey guys and gals, I'm Scott, and this is 411's WWE Heat Report.
I need to start this week by sending out a special thanks to Stuart Carapola for returning from the void and writing a great Heat Report last weekend on rather short notice. I got absolutely buried (BERRIED!) while trying to put together my preliminary thesis defense, but the Report was in good hands with Stu at the helm. Much appreciated man.
You're probably aware that unlike Raw and Smackdown!, Heat is now available exclusively on WWE.com. You may also be aware that Heat is now only available as full-length episodes instead of individual segments. This change in presentation means that the previous Preview / Review format of the Heat Report is now somewhat obsolete. So from now on I'm going to be using a more traditional recapping style that will be most similar to the Review section of previous Heat Reports. Be sure to email me and let me know what you think of the new format. I want this Report to be as useful as possible, so I'm always open to suggestions. Okay, enough with the boring stuff. Let's get to the wrestling.
Mail Call
Two weeks ago, Chris Jacobs sent me some information concerning the identities of the jobbers on that week's episode of Heat. I may have mentioned something in the column about the fact that Small never gets those kind of exclusive scoops, and Chris sent me the following email in reply:
You got the info not only because the other guy is second rate, but you are THA SHIT, lol. I like these columns, and even the not so well known shows need some love, and you guys hook it up.
Man, it's times like these that I wonder why I ever agreed to a truce with Small…
This week WWE.com posted a special dark match from the Smackdown / ECW television tapings, so I decided to give it a little love here in the Heat Report. Some of you may remember that Heat used to have a sister show known as Velocity that taped prior to the weekly Smackdown tapings. Velocity was similar to Heat except for the fact that, um, it was usually a lot better. Wow, that was hard to admit. But seriously, for quite some time Velocity was home to Smackdown's Tag Team Division AND Smackdown's Cruiserweight Division, and it had a history of featuring some really fine matches. Hell, Chris Benoit even stopped by from time to time to absolutely steal the show. Anyway, Velocity was cancelled when ECW began taping alongside Smackdown each week, but for at least one week we're once again being treated to a taste of the Tuesday night undercard. And so, without any further ado, the Heat Report proudly presents to you a very special Velocity Tribute Match.
Kenny Dykstra's music hits, and the reason I can longer enjoy Debbie Does Dallas makes his way down the ramp accompanied by Victoria. Michael Cole and JBL are not only doing commentary for this match, but they're actually sitting at ringside. That never used to happen on Velocity. This is some high class internet exclusive content right here. Dykstra and Victoria climb into the ring, and Dykstra hits the corner to, um, not really accomplish much of anything. Hey, I call ‘em like I see ‘em. Anyway, Chuck Palumbo's music hits, and the reason I can no longer enjoy reruns of Bosom Buddies rides down the ramp on his custom made motorcycle. I think I may have just infringed on one of Byers' copyrights just now. Oh well, shit happens. Palumbo rides around the ring, parks the hog back on the ramp, climbs into the ring, and does his best to act all masculine and hopefully not remind the crowd that he may in fact have Billy Gunn's name tattooed on his ass. Anyway, both men seem ready for action, so the referee signals for the bell, and this match is officially underway.
Palumbo and Dykstra circle each other to start before locking each other up in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Palumbo muscles Dykstra to the corner, but Dykstra slides between the ropes so that the referee will call for the clean break. Palumbo grants the clean break, heads back to the middle of the ring, and waits for Dykstra to grow a pair. Palumbo and Dykstra circle each other for a second time before locking each other up in a second collar-and-elbow tie-up. Palumbo muscles Dykstra to the corner, but Dykstra slides between the ropes so that the referee will call for the clean break. Hmm, it's like déjà vu all over again. Palumbo grants the clean break and begins to head back to the middle of the ring, but Dykstra cheap shots him with a kick to the chest. Palumbo retaliates by going for a single leg, pulling Dykstra back to the middle of the ring, and damn near decapitating him with a short clothesline. Palumbo drags Dykstra back to his feet, whips him to the ropes, waits for him to rebound, and absolutely levels him with a running back elbow shot. Palumbo again drags Dykstra back to his feet, applies a modified standing side head lock, and takes Dykstra over with a modified head lock takedown. Palumbo covers Dykstra but only gets a one count before Dykstra kicks out.
Palumbo drags Dykstra back to his feet, gives him a scoop slam, hits the ropes, and goes for a big leg drop, but Dykstra just manages to roll out of the way. Dykstra springs back to his feet and gives Palumbo a stomp to the back followed by a clubbing forearm shot to the back. Dykstra drags Palumbo back to his feet and goes for a suplex, but Palumbo counters into a delayed vertical suplex of his own. Palumbo covers Dykstra but only gets a two count before Dykstra kicks out. Palumbo drags Dykstra back to his feet, traps him in the corner, whips him to the opposite corner, and charges after him, but Dykstra gets his feet up and plants them right in Palumbo's jaw. Dykstra kicks Palumbo in the gut and sends him into the corner. Palumbo's momentum carries him between the ropes, and his slams his left bicep / elbow into the ring post before rolling over the ropes and tumbling down to the arena floor. Palumbo gets back to his feet on the outside, but he's holding his arm awkwardly. He's either doing a GREAT job of selling, or he's legitimately hurt. Anyway, Dykstra slides out of the ring, gives Palumbo a forearm shot to the arm, rolls Palumbo back into the ring, and then slides back into the ring himself.
Dykstra drags Palumbo back to his feet, gives him two kicks to the arm, and traps him in the corner. Dykstra continues his assault and drives Palumbo down to the mat with seven more kicks to the arm. Palumbo rolls to his side and tries to protect his injured arm. He even seems to be motioning for Dykstra to focus his attack on the OTHER arm, so maybe his really is hurt. Dykstra obliges and gives Palumbo four kicks to his healthy arm before the referee pulls him back to the middle of the ring. Dykstra heads back to the corner, wraps Palumbo's bad arm around the bottom rope, and twists it for all he's worth. Palumbo deserves a fucking Oscar if this is all a work. Dykstra drags Palumbo back to the middle of the ring and gives him an elbow drop right to the chest. Dykstra covers Palumbo but doesn't even get a one count before Palumbo kicks out.
Dykstra locks in an overhead key lock on Palumbo's bad arm, but Palumbo fights back to his feet and muscles Palumbo into the corner to break the hold. Palumbo slowly begins to head back to the middle of the ring, but Dykstra catches him from behind with a chop block to the knee. Dykstra stomps on Palumbo's bad arm, slams in onto the mat, and locks in a second overhead key lock, but Palumbo fights back to his feet and breaks the hold with three forearm shots to Dykstra's head. Palumbo hits the ropes, charges at Dykstra, ducks a clothesline, hits the opposite ropes, and catches Dykstra with a HUGE power slam. Palumbo bounces off the mat and goes right back to clutching at his injured arm. Like I said, either this is a legitimate injury, or The Undertaker seriously did scare the crap out of the undercard when he, um, "explained" the finer points of selling to Chris Masters.
Anyway, both men get back to their feet, but Palumbo levels Dykstra with a single punch to the face. Dykstra crawls to the corner and climbs back to his feet, but Palumbo catches him with another punch to the face before tossing him back to the middle of the ring. Palumbo drags Dykstra back to his feet and gives him an absolutely BEAUTIFUL belly-to-belly suplex. Palumbo gets back to his feet, waits for Dykstra to do the same, hits the ropes, and kills Dykstra with a Big Boot. Palumbo drags Dykstra back to his feet, gives him the Full Throttle (i.e., the Yokosuka Cutter), covers him, and gets the three count. Chuck Palumbo's music hits as the referee raises his hand in victory. Palumbo celebrates in the ring and hits the ring to get some love from the crowd while Dykstra and Victoria quickly scamper out of sight. Palumbo climbs out of the ring and climbs onto his hog as we fade to black.
Match Result: Chuck Palumbo defeats Kenny Dykstra with the Full Throttle. Match Length: 4:50 Best Spot: Palumbo's belly-to-belly suplex
That was a fine little match, and it really reminded my how sweet Velocity was back in the day. The link at the top of the match will take you right to the video if you're interested in seeing the match for yourself. Heat is up next.
Match 1: Val Venis vs. Charlie Haas
We start off with the new WWE: The Power is Back video followed by the Heat opening video. Todd Grisham, alongside Jonathan, welcomes us to Heat. The World's Greatest Ring Music hits, and the most underrated Superstar in WWE makes his way down the ramp. There are days that I think me, Shelton Benjamin, and Jackie Gayda are the only three people in the world who still love Charlie Haas. But hey, that's fine. ‘Cause I've seen movies that start like that. Hell, I've had dreams that start like that. You know, in retrospect, that last part came out sounding WAY more gay than I really intended. Not that there's anything wrong with that. So maybe we better just move on. Anyway, Haas climbs into the ring and makes Lillian Garcia fear for her life. Val Venis' music hits, and the Ayatollah of Gloryhollah makes his way down the ramp. I'm still waiting for a SUCK_US.6969 video. I'd mark for that. Anyway, Venis hits the corner, strips off the towel, and evidently decides he needs to be very careful about who receives the towel this week. Venis parades about the ring and scans the crowd to find the perfect, um, "co-star." He eventually settles on a chick in the front row that I can only assume is a plant, climbs out of the ring, and presents her with a small token of his affection. Seriously, I've been to WWE live events. There are no chicks like that at the shows. Of course, maybe that has more to do with the fact that all of the live events I attend are right here in CHAMPAIGN, ILLINOIS (cheap pop)… and most of the townies around here are well on the other side of fugly (cheap heat). Anyway, Venis climbs back into the ring, both men seem ready for action, the referee signals for the bell, and this match is officially underway.
Venis and Haas circle each other to start before locking each other up in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Venis muscles Haas to the ropes, but Haas spins around and traps Venis against the ropes. Haas muscles Venis to the corner but grants a clean break at the referee's behest. Venis and Haas have a rather intense stare down, and for at least a moment there I was really concerned that they were about to kiss each other or something. Again, not that there's anything wrong with that, but I've got better things to do on a Saturday afternoon that recap gay porn. Anyway, Venis heads for Haas and goes for a second collar-and-elbow tie-up, but Haas slides behind Venis and locks in a standing rear waste lock. Haas quickly transitions to a standing side head lock on Venis, but Venis counters into a standing hammer lock on Haas before transitioning to a standing side head lock of his own on Haas. Haas muscles Venis to the ropes to break the hold, whips him to the opposite ropes, and waits for him to rebound, but Venis levels Haas with a running shoulder block. Venis covers Haas but only gets a two count before Haas kicks out.
Both men quickly get back to their feet, but Venis immediately catches Haas with a standing side head lock before taking Haas over with a head lock takedown. Venis maintains his hold on Haas' head and pins Haas' shoulders to the mat but only gets a two count before Haas gets a shoulder up. Haas fights back to his feet, muscles Venis to the ropes to break the hold, whips Venis to the opposite ropes, and drops down to the mat. Venis leaps over Haas, hits the opposite ropes, charges at Haas, and reverses an attempted hip toss from Haas into a hip toss of his own on Haas. Haas gets right back up to his feet, but Venis catches him with a deep arm drag takedown. Haas again gets right back up to his feet, but this time Venis catches him in a standing side head lock before taking him over with a head lock takedown. Venis maintains his hold on Haas' head and pins Haas' shoulders to the mat but only gets a two count before Haas gets a shoulder up.
Haas fights back to his feet, muscles Venis to the corner, and gives Venis a cheap shot to the ribs followed by a straight punch to the face. Haas tries to whip Venis to the ropes, but Venis reverses, whips Haas to the ropes, gives him a knee shot to the gut, whips Haas to the opposite ropes, and gives him another knee shot to the gut. Venis guides Haas back to the middle of the ring and hits him with a Side Russian Leg Sweep. Venis covers Haas but only gets a two count before Haas kicks out.
Both men slowly climb back to their feet, but Venis traps Haas in the corner and gives him a chop to the chest. Venis tries to whip Haas to the opposite corner, but Haas reverses and instead whips Venis to the opposite corner. Venis slams back-first into the top turnbuckle and crumbles to the mat, so Haas follows up with two stomps and a pair of double ax-handle shots to Venis' chest. Haas presses his advantage with four mounted punches to Venis' head before draping Venis across the second rope and using the rope to choke him. Haas fish-hooks Venis' mouth and then goes to work with four cross-face shots. Um, dude, I wouldn't put any part of your body in Val Venis' mouth. We all know how much freaky shit has been in that man's mouth. I'm just sayin', is all. Anyway, Haas drags Venis back to his feet, whips him to the corner, waits for him to rebound, and tosses him half way across the ring with a sweet belly-to-belly suplex. Haas covers Venis but only gets a two count before Venis kicks out.
Haas locks in a modified camel clutch but then transitions to a sleeper hold as Venis begins to fight back to his feet. Venis makes it all the way back to his feet and breaks the hold with three elbow shots to Haas' gut. Venis goes for a suplex, but he back gives out and he can't get Haas all the way over. Haas then goes for a suplex of his own, but Venis rolls him up instead. Venis has Haas covered but only gets a two count before Haas kicks out. Both men spring back to their feet, but Haas immediately levels Venis with a running clothesline. Haas stomps on Venis' gut, drags him back to his feet, and gives him a nice belly-to-back suplex. Haas raises Venis up into a seated position and punts him right in the lower back. Haas covers Venis but only gets a two count before Venis gets a shoulder up.
Haas locks in a sleeper hold and grapevines the body, but Venis still manages to fight back to his feet. Haas releases the hold, gives Venis two knees shots to the side of the head, and goes for a scoop slam, but Venis floats over, lands on his feet behind Haas, and shoves Haas to the ropes. Haas come off the ropes, and both men fall to the mat after their heads slam right into each other. Haas slowly gets back to his feet in the middle of the ring while Venis does the same in the corner. Haas charges towards Venis and goes for a double ax-handle shot, but Venis just manages to slide out of the way. Haas slams chest-first into the top turnbuckle and staggers back to the middle of the ring, so Venis hits the ropes and levels him with a running clothesline. Haas springs back to his feet, but Venis catches him with a running back elbow shot. Haas again springs back to his feet, and Venis again catches him with a running back elbow shot. Haas once again climbs back to his feet and staggers to the corner, but Venis charges after him and squishes him with another running clothesline. Venis guides Haas back to the middle of the ring and connects with a sit-out belly-to-back powerbomb. Venis covers Haas but only gets a two count before Haas kicks out.
Venis drags Haas back to his feet, drops him with his patented Half-Nelson Slam, and goes for the Venis Flytrap, but Haas kicks Venis to the corner to create some distance. Venis slams chest-first into the top turnbuckle, staggers backwards, but recovers just in time to catch Haas with a second Half-Nelson Slam. Venis heads out to the ring apron, climbs up to the top rope, and goes for the Money Shot, but Haas gets his knees up and drives them right into Venis' gut. Haas crawls over and covers Venis, but Venis rolls through into a crucifix pin and gets the three count. Val Venis' music hits as the referee raises his hand in victory and Charlie Haas looks on in disbelief. Haas once again glares at Venis before climbing out of the ring. Venis gives Haas a round of applause as Haas heads back up the ramp, but that seems to be little consolation to the distraught Haas.
Match Result: Val Venis defeats Charlie Haas with a crucifix pin. Match Length: 7:24 Best Spot: Venis' Half-Nelson Slam
We move on to the newest Save_Us.222 video which seems to have morphed into Save_Us.X29.
Next up is a commercial for Randy Orton vs. either Shawn Michaels, Jeff Hardy, or Mr. Kennedy at Cyber Sunday, live this Sunday, October 28 at 8e/5p, only on pay-per-view.
Match 2: Snitsky vs. Derek McQuinn
We're back on Heat, Snitsky's music hits, and the greatest punter never to play in the XFL makes his way down the ramp. My friends, that right there is a special kind of ugly. Anyway, Snitsky climbs into the ring where Derek McQuinn is already waiting for him as Lillian Garcia quickly scurries to safety. Both men seem ready for action, so the referee signals for the bell, and this match is officially underway.
Snitsky starts off by flinging McQuinn into the corner and follows up with a running clothesline. Snitsky guides McQuinn back to the middle of the ring, lifts him up onto his shoulder, and hits Snake Eyes in the opposite corner. Snitsky connects with a second running clothesline in the corner before guiding McQuinn back to the middle of the ring and giving him a scoop slam. Snitsky hits the ropes, drops an elbow down onto McQuinn's chest, raises McQuinn up into a seated position, and wrenches away on McQuinn's neck. Snitsky drags McQuinn back to his feet, locks in a double underhook, and shakes the shit outta the poor kid. Snitsky gives McQuinn three knee shots to the face before leveling him with yet another clothesline. Snitsky drags McQuinn back to his feet, shoves him to the ropes, waits for him to rebound, and damn near decapitates him with a Big Boot. Snitsky drags McQuinn back to his feet one last time, hits him with a pump-handle slam, and gets the three count. Snitsky's music hits as the referee raises his hand in victory. Snitsky has thoughts of doing some more damage to McQuinn, but thankfully the referee makes the save. Snitsky climbs out of the ring and heads back up the ramp as McQuinn begins to contemplate a nice career in accounting.
Match Result: Snitsky defeats Derek McQuinn with a pump-handle slam. Match Length: 1:30 Best Spot: Snitsky's Big Boot
We move on to a commercial for the 500th Anniversary Issue of WWE Magazine, on sale now at newsstands everywhere.
Next up, Grisham and Coachman review the card for Cyber Sunday. Interestingly enough, they fail to mention Matt Hardy vs. MVP. That… that just can't be good…
Match 3: "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan & Super Crazy vs. The Highlanders
We're back on Heat, and it's time for our MAIN EVENT! "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan's music hits, and the tag team that makes Matt Hardy & MVP seem normal makes their way down the ramp. Duggan SLOWLY climbs into the ring while Crazy does the same at a much more rapid pace. Crazy hits the corner to pose for the crowd as Duggan grabs a microphone from Lillian Garcia. Oh fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. Duggan and Crazy try to start that asinine Ho / Si dueling chant, and it's moment's like this that really make me hate Heat. And WWE. And professional wresting. And my life. I need a drink. Csonka does NOT pay me enough to sit through this kind of shit. Thankfully, the Highlanders' music finally hits, and everyone's favorite evil Scotsmen make their way down the ramp. I like the newly evil Highlanders. I mean, don't get me wrong, the gimmick is still way too restrictive and probably keeping both guys from being the kind of stars that they really should be, but it's still a nice change from the happy-go-lucky Highlanders of old. These guys could for an AWESOME stable with Dave Taylor, Paul Burchill, and Drew McIntyre. UK FTW! UK FTW! UK FTW! Anyway, the Highlanders climb into the ring and all four men seem ready for action, so the referee signals for the bell, and this match is officially underway.
By the way, I should mention that I am absolutely DREADING doing the play-by-play for this match. I watch every episode of Heat twice before I do actually write the report during my third viewing, so I already know how shitty this whole thing is going to be. And now I've exhausted just about every possible method of procrastination. Hell, I actually wrote all of the Report up to this point yesterday, but I just couldn't bring myself to watch Jim Duggan wrestle again. This man is slowly driving me insane. But damn it, this is my job, so I'm gonna grow a pair and get to work. I need a drink.
Duggan and Rory head to their respective corners and climb out onto the ring apron, so it looks like it's going to be Super Crazy and Robbie to start the match. I really do like Robbie. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, but this dude could be A FUCKING STAR if WWE would just pull their heads out of their asses and let him shine. But I digress. Okay, I shit you not, as I was typing that last part, Robbie actually seemed to threaten to KILL Duggan. Did I mention how much I love Robbie? Anyway, Crazy and Robbie circle each other to start and Crazy goes for a collar-and-elbow tie-up, but Robbie ducks Crazy's arms and delivers a head butt to Crazy's gut. Robbie gives Crazy a punch to the face and a head butt to the, um, head before trapping him in the corner and chopping him across the chest. Robbie whips Crazy to the opposite corner and charges after him, but Crazy just manages to slide out of the way. Robbie slams chest-first into the top turnbuckle and then turns around just in time for Crazy to monkey flip him back to the middle of the ring. Robbie springs back to his feet, but Crazy immediately catches him with a deep arm drag. Robbie again springs back to his feet, but Crazy again immediately catches him with a deep arm drag and this time transitions into an arm bar. Crazy drags Robbie back to his feet, switches to an arm wringer, guides him over to the corner, and tags Duggan into the match. Duggan climbs into the ring, but Robbie breaks free from Crazy and tags Rory into the match. Crazy and Robbie climb out onto the ring apron as Rory climbs into the ring.
I seriously can't deal with Jim Duggan right now. Fuck this. I'm going to see Saw IV. I'll try again in a few hours.
TWO HOURS LATER…
Dude, this wasn't a joke. I really did just go see Saw IV. Seriously, the 4:00 show at the Savoy 16. Anyway, the movie was AWESOME. I mean, it was a total mindfuck, but I love that sort of thing. And now I think I can deal with a little Duggan. So here we go…
Duggan and Rory circle each other to start and Rory takes a swing at Duggan, but Duggan blocks the punch and connects with three punches of his own. Duggan guides Rory over to the corner and slams his head into the top turnbuckle two times, but Rory seems to, um, be enjoying it. Sick freak. Anyway, Rory kicks Duggan in the gut and tries to slam his head into the top turnbuckle, but Duggan grabs the top rope to prevent contact. Rory again tries to slam Duggan's head into the top turnbuckle, but Duggan again grabs the top rope to prevent contact. This is literally as close to a circle jerk as you can legally show in a WWE match. Duggan gives Rory an elbow shot to the gut and two punches to the face before whipping him to the ropes. Duggan waits for Rory to rebound, catches him with a hip toss, waits for him to get back to his feet, and catches him with a scoop slam. Duggan drags Rory back to his feet, applies an arm wringer, guides him over to the corner, and tags Crazy into the match. Duggan holds Rory as Crazy climbs into the ring, and Crazy and Duggan whip Rory to the ropes before leveling him with a double back elbow shot. Duggan climbs out onto the ring apron as Crazy hits some sort of SWEET spinning elbow drop. Crazy covers Rory but only gets a two count before Rory kicks out. Crazy goes for la magistral but only gets at two count before Rory kicks out.
Crazy drags Rory back to his feet, applies an arm wringer, cinches it in good, guides him over to the corner, and tags Duggan into the match. Crazy hold Rory as Duggan climbs into the match and whips Rory to the ropes. Crazy climbs out onto the ring apron as Duggan waits for Rory to rebound and levels him with a clothesline. Rory climbs back to his feet, but Duggan immediately drops him with a second clothesline. Rory once again regains his vertical base, but Duggan once again connects with a clothesline. Rory realizes that a new plan may be in order, so he rolls under the bottom rope and takes a breather out on the arena floor. Duggan takes this opportunity to lead the crows in a rousing chant of, "U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!," and we take this opportunity to head to a commercial.
We cut to a commercial for the new Rey Mysterio: The Biggest Little Man 3-Disc DVD Set, available now wherever DVDs are sold.
We're back on Heat, and it seems as though some shit has gone down during the break. Robbie is now the legal Highlander, and he has Duggan down on the mat in a sleeper hold in the middle of the ring. Duggan fights back to his feet and breaks the hold with three elbow shots to Robbie's gut. Duggan follows up with three punches to Robbie's face before hitting the ropes and charging at Robbie, but Robbie catches Duggan with a knee shot to the gut. Robbie gives Duggan two ax-handle drops to the chest followed by five mounted punches to the face. Robbie covers Duggan but only gets a two count before Duggan kicks out.
Robbie applies a European head lock, drags Duggan back to his feet, guides him over to the corner, and tags Rory into the match. Robbie holds Duggan as Rory climbs into the ring and kicks Duggan in the gut. Robbie climbs out onto the ring apron as Rory takes Duggan over with a headlock takedown. Rory applies a sleeper hold on the mat, but Duggan fights back to his feet and break the hold with an elbow shot to Rory's gut. Rory retaliates with a clubbing forearm shot to Duggan's back before muscling Duggan over to the corner and slamming his head into the top turnbuckle. Duggan desperately tries to crawl over to his corner, but Rory kicks him in the ribs, drags him back to the middle of the ring, and drops a knee right onto his head. Rory covers Duggan but only gets a two count before Duggan kicks out.
Rory raises Duggan up in to a seated position, drives his knee into Duggan's back, and applies a rear chin lock. Rory drags Duggan all the way down to the mat, but Duggan eventually fights back to his feet and break the hold with three punches to Rory's face. Rory retaliates with two forearm shots to Duggan's face before trapping Duggan in the corner and tagging Robbie into the match. Robbie climbs into the ring, but Duggan goes fucking ape shit and lets loose with a volley of forearm shots to both Highlanders. WHEN SENILE OLD WRESTLERS ATTACK, TONIGHT ON FOX! Luckily Robbie restores order to the universe and regains control of the match with a punch to Duggan's gut followed by five punches to Duggan's face. Duggan begins to stagger towards his corner but collapses in the middle of the ring. Robbie covers Duggan but only gets a two count before Duggan kicks out.
Robbie drags Duggan back to his feet, guides him to the corner, and tags Rory into the match. Robbie holds Duggan as Rory climbs up to the second rope and connects with a double ax-handle shot to Duggan's back. Rory gives Duggan three stomps to the back, drags him back to his feet, guides him over to the corner, and slams his head into the top turnbuckle. Rory gives Duggan a head butt to the back of the head, a head butt to the front of the head, and a forearm shot to the face before whipping Duggan to the opposite corner. Rory charges after Duggan, but Duggan spins around an catches him with a back elbow shot to the face. Both men fall to the mat, but Duggan is able to crawl all the way across the ring and finally tag Crazy into the match.
Duggan gingerly rolls out onto the arena floor apron as Crazy climbs into the ring. Crazy charges at Rory, ducks a clothesline, and hits a springboard drop kick that knocks Robbie off the ring apron and down to the arena floor. Rory goes for a sunset flip, but Crazy rolls through and connects with a basement drop kick to the face. Robbie climbs back up onto the ring apron, but Crazy send him right back down to the arena floor with another drop kick. Crazy drags Rory back to his feet, whips him to the ropes, waits for him to rebound, and levels him with a standing drop kick. Crazy hits a standing moonsault and covers Rory but only gets a two count before Robbie slides into the ring and breaks up the pin. Duggan rushes into the ring and knocks Robbie all the way down to the arena floor with a single punch. Duggan follows Robbie out of the ring and applies a standing side head lock, but Robbie shoves Duggan head-first into the ring post. Back in the ring Crazy gives Rory a scoop slam before climbing up to the top rope, but that gives Robbie enough time to distract Crazy so that Rory can shake the ropes and cause Crazy to fall face-first onto the top turnbuckle. Rory catches Crazy with a school boy pin and gets the three count. The Highlanders' music hits as Robbie climbs into the ring and the referee raises their hands in victory.
Match Result: Rory McAllister defeats Super Crazy with a school boy pin. Match Length: 8:37 (including commercial) Best Spot: Crazy's spinning elbow drop
Okay kids, that's it for this edition of Heat. Hope you had fun. Feel free to email me with any comments or suggestions. I'll see you back here next weekend.
