Your hosts are Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman.
Handicap Match: Rated Rmy vs. Rey Mysterio.
Rey fights out of the corner early, but Ryder and Hawkins team up for a wheelbarrow facebuster. They hit a doubleteam neckbreaker for two. Mysterio comes back with an enzuigiri. A springboard crossbody gets two as Edge looks on backstage. Mysterio rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Ryder in the head. Hawkins misses a charge and gets wiped out with a pescado. He sets up for the 619, but Ryder brings a chair into the ring for the DQ at 5:34. Rey dropkicks it back into his face and cleans house on the Rmy. I like that Rey was able to keep one step ahead of the Edgeheads with his speed and quickness, but them scurrying away from him is a little silly even if he did have a chair. Oh well, I guess you gotta have your cowardly heels. *3/4
Jesse explains that Festus has a personality disorder so he's at the doctor's getting help. It occurs to me that if he enters the Rumble, Festus would have to be one of the two first guys in or else he wouldn't be able to wrestle.
Jimmy Wang Yang (w/Shannon Moore) vs. Domino (w/Deuce & Cherry).
Jimmy goes all Ricky Steamboat on him with the leapfrog, armdrag and chop to the chest. Yang hits a huracanrana and a flying back kick. Domino avoids the baseball slide, though. Back in, Domino hangs Yang out to dry and drops the Statue of Liberty forearm. Yang kicks Domino out of the air (in theory). He hits the corner leg lariat and a crossbody for two. Cherry gets up on the apron, allowing Deuce to snap Yang off the top rope. Moore takes out Deuce as Yang gets his knees up to block a pump splash. That sets up the moonsault block at 5:26. I get the feeling they really want to push Yang but aren't sure what to do with him. **
In the back, Chuck Palumbo and Jamie Noble continue not to get along, but they chill out when Michelle McCool comes in.
Six-Person Tag: Jamie Noble, Chuck Palumbo & Michelle McCool vs. John Morrison, The Miz & Layla.
Layla has a better body than Michelle, but Michelle has a much better wardrobe. Advantage: push. Speaking of wardrobes, Noble has disturbingly phallic trunks on tonight. Palumbo tries some roughhousing early. Noble gets the Thesz Press, but Chuck blind tags himself in and tosses Noble aside. They get into an argument, as do Michelle and Layla on the outside. Michelle is so distracted that she gets knocked off the apron as Chuck shoves Jamie into her. A distraught Jamie goes out to check on her, which enrages Palumbo because he's a big giant dickhead. He attacks Jamie from behind and leaves him laying. Michelle tries to stop him, so Palumbo elbows her in the face. So Chuck Palumbo is Randy Savage, and Jamie Noble is… Hulk Hogan? Really? I guess that means Morrison is the Big Bossman, Miz is Akeem, and Layla is Slick. The funny/sad thing is that you can see Miz and Morrison hanging back on the other side of the ring just watching and going, "Oh, so that's what it's like to be involved in an angle." Sports Entertainment finish. [N/R]
In the back, Jamie is worried about Michelle, who is being wheeled out on a gurney. He vows revenge on Chuck. I'm not sure why, but this is the Smackdown angle that most interests me.
MVP, in a spiffy suit, reiterates his point from last week. He's better than Flair. He goes all Jericho on us and provides us with Photoshop Flair pics. Ric Flair comes out and says he's not yet ready to go gentle into that good night.
Belfast Brawl: Fit Finlay (w/Hornswoggle) vs. The Great Khali (w/Ranjan Singh).
Finlay warns Khali not to even look at Hornswoggle. Total domination by Khali to start. He scowls at a worried Hornswoggle. He even Tree Slams Finlay and takes him to the floor. Hornswoggle tries to sneak over and check on Finlay as Khali tears up the announce table. Khali turns and sees him. Uh oh. Khali grabs him by the throat, and that sets Finlay off. BOY, DOES THAT SET FINLAY OFF! Finlay goes absolutely nuts on Khali with the shillelagh. DON'T (WHACK) YOU (WHACK) EVER (WHACK) TOUCH (WHACK) MY (WHACK) FUCKING (WHACK) LEPRECHAUN! (WHACK) (WHACK) (WHACK) (WHACK) (WHACK) (WHACK) (WHACK) (WHACK) (WHACK)! Finlay checks on Hornswoggle, and they leave for another Sports Entertainment finish. Do *not* mess with Finlay or his midget. [N/R]
In the back, Vince McMahon takes Hornswoggle aside and tells him that the Rumble is every man for himself, so he can't trust Finlay.
Batista comes out to with Rey Mysterio luck but confirms that he will, in fact, win the Rumble and go on to WrestleMania. Okay then. Thanks for stoppin' by.
The Undertaker vs. Big Daddy V (w/Matt Striker).
You know, Undertaker already beat Big Daddy V and Mark Henry in a handicap match. Why should he sweat Vee in a singles match? See, that's why you have them *beat* the Undertaker, and he can spend the next two weeks angrily destroying them in singles matches where things are fair. BDV avalanches him in the corner but takes a flying DDT. Taker goes for the Old School Ropewalk Forearm but gets knocked down. Coach notes that Taker might have torn through a guy like BDV 10 years ago. Yeah… a guy "like" him. Only in purple. Taker fights his way back and chokeslams (actually just shoves him over) BDV for two. Taker hits the Old School Ropewalk Forearm but runs into the sideslam. Taker tries to apply the Triangle Choke when Vee covers, but giant oval beats triangle I guess. BDV knocks him down, but Taker applies a modified version of the hold for the quickest tapout you'll ever see at 6:11. Mark Henry comes down and tells Taker he's gone too far because BDV is coughing up blood now. Taker, not surprisingly, doesn't seem to care. *
Recap of Rumbles past by the numbers. They retcon the elimination times so that Warlord actually has the futility record. Well, it's not exactly recognizing the Negro League numbers in baseball, but it'll do.
Edge (w/the Rated Rmy) vs. CM Punk (w/Rey Mysterio).
Sure, Mysterio shows up now. Where was he when he could have prevented the interference that cost Punk the title? Punk goes wild on Edge with kicks. He slides through Edge's legs but gets booted in the face. Punk misses a charge and spills to the floor as we go to break. We come back to Punk slugging his way back but getting yanked down. Edge comes off the second rope right into a spinning wheel kick. Punk gets two off a Victory Roll but springboards into a powerslam for two. Punk gets tossed to the apron and tries his springboard clothesline again, but he slips off the top rope. Edge improvises and gets two. Punk blocks the spear with a kick to the face and gets two off a schoolboy. Edge goes up, but Punk catches him in the Fireman's Carry. Edge slips out and spears Punk for the win at 10:07. Edge vs. Mysterio has paled in comparison to Hardy/Orton in terms of build. I wish they had played up the fact that these two used to be a tag team, a fact that has barely been mentioned. Punk's title loss frees him up to enter the Rumble, which was going to be a problem because he was already a champion. **
The 411: Really not feelin' the Smackdown side of things this year. When Noble/Palumbo is your most interesting feud, it's time to re-evaluate things. Batista and Undertaker have either squashed the people they're feuding with or aren't feuding with anyone at all. Finlay is great, as always, but his feud is more with McMahon than Khali, and a lot of it takes place on Raw and not Smackdown. Hopefully, the Rumble results shake things up a bit.
Update: I'm told that Taker was, in fact, attempting a gogoplata on BDV. It didn't look quite right to me, but then it's a work and not a shoot.
Posted By: J.D. Dunn (Registered) on January 26, 2008 at 01:31 AM
i didnt like how they made punk look like a jobber
Posted By: guest (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 01:47 AM
Big Flabby V needs to get off my TV. Yuck.
Posted By: JJ (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 02:01 AM
They edited the hell out of that Palumbo-Noble segment. The beating went on about five more minutes and the initial referee got knocked down a second time before the other refs showed up. It came across better on TV then it did live though, so at least they saved it. I've got to question the thought process in a doing a man-on-woman violence angle on the network TV show and not the cable one instead.
Posted By: Andy Clark (Registered) on January 26, 2008 at 02:10 AM
Did anyone notice that the lighting during MVP's entrance made the SD et look like the WrestleMania X7 set?
Posted By: JJ (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 02:21 AM
a 200 pound man in edge spearing people? sorry, but i'm not buying it! and big sloppy v in HD? no thanks, i think i saw some new tattoos
Posted By: houston's finest (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 05:25 AM
CM Punk IS A GIANT JOBBER and (at very best) a MIDCARDER FOR LIFE , get ready to live with it cause that's all he is worth for .
I'm glad EDGE totally PWNED him to DEATH, I was MTFO like nuts at the ending when he OWNED CM OVERRATED PUNK ASS FOREVER IMO
Taker's fake MMA victory over Big Crappy V was frickin awesome and gives him a killer edge and momentum going into The Rumble (he should win it anyway)
Palumbo's turn was fantastic and very well booked, he has never looked so credible than last night .
I can't wait for the Rumble now but again great work by Michael Hayes
Posted By: Kyle Hyde (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 05:25 AM
Miz/Morrisson hanging back and watching was actually a really nice, subtle touch by the 'E. Not only did it sell the Palumbo bullying as really cowardly (because even Miz/Morrisson were a bit schocked), but it also supported the sleaziness of Miz/Morrisson, because they didnt lift a finger to help Noble and Michelle.
Posted By: More Different Kevin (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 05:39 AM
The Noble/Chuck/McCool angle is what a pro wrestling storyline is suppose to be, It just proves at least one person someone still knows how to write stories pro wrestling, and not a "male soap opera"
Posted By: The Glory Of Roma (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 06:08 AM
What does the Rmy in Rated Rmy stand for?
Posted By: Kurt (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 07:23 AM
Way to make Punk look like a total jobber, WWE. Knobs ...
Posted By: Master of the Obvious (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 07:53 AM
Did anybody else think that when Domino took off his shirt, that he kinda looked like Triple H? Just look at the body type and the nose.
Posted By: Capt. Smooth (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 09:42 AM
Sick of the Undertaker personally. The standard comeback is how much "locker room respect" he garners because he's such a "professional" and a "veteran" ... ya right. BDV and Henry are monsters and should be booked as such, not whipping posts for UT, plain and simple. The point of wrestling is to make fans believe the story and believe IN the story and nobody believes those guys stand a chance. Terrible booking to protect UT, who probably needs protection less than any wrestler in the world. Doesn't even need a belt to be more over than any champ so why not give them a rub??
Posted By: someguy (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 09:53 AM
ARMY=Rmy
Posted By: noah (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 09:53 AM
What the fuck? Since when does having a highly competitive 10-minute match with the World Heavyweight Champion make you a jobber? I guess Triple H and HBK are jobbers because they lost clean to Orton, right?
Kurt: "R" stands for "Restricted". "Rated R" is the most violent/sex-filled/etc. rating typically given to American films (not sure how the system works in other countries). Edge is known to be a risque fellow (live sex celebration!), hence Rated R Superstar.
Posted By: Ange (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 11:59 AM
There are still asses who actually say "PWNED"? Wow. That was NEVER funny, and now its just sad.
Posted By: Crizag (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 01:19 PM
Monsters cant kill dead people, so having henry and mabel beat the undertaker wouldnt work.
Posted By: Setobakura (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 01:53 PM
wrestling wuz alright last night ,but wut chuck palumbo did to them two that wuz uncalled for epscially for michelle mccool
Posted By: Prince (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 02:08 PM
Prince, are you an idiot?
Posted By: JJ (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 03:07 PM
No one tell Prince that wrestling is scripted.
Posted By: Rick Landis (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 03:19 PM
leave prince alone, he's enjoying wrestling the way it used to be enjoyed. don't rune it for him.
Posted By: george (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 03:28 PM
punk should win the rumble, tell edge and his title to fuck off and come to raw to challenge the champ so i can see him wrestle on a more frequent basis.
Posted By: hellboysetsfire (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 05:06 PM
Smackdown provided a decent show last night. I agree, the Noble/Palumbo/McCool fued is starting to be interesting. One thing that really irritates me is when announcers refuse to acknowledge past personas. I.E. "Big Daddy V has never faced the Undertaker. Never experienced the Long Walk" - Michael Cole. Are you serious? We don't have to give it a huge historical breakdown, but Undertaker DID fued with King Mabel. Yes, we all know it's supposed to be a story in the land of wrestling, but they treat us like idiots. Even the mention of, "these two have had there battles years ago, and now they're about to rekindle that war" would be plenty suffice. It's just insulting to those of us who have been around for 10+/15+/20+ and are still supportive. But thats just me. I could be wrong. If I'm going to watch a story with commentary, at least give me some people who make it believable and are educated. And before it gets said, it wasn't a mistake I feel, just ignorance and laziness, especially since the commentary is VOICED OVER ALOT of the show, and NOT LIVE. and P.S.: To those who comment on here, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do a spell check or something. Basic words we learned in school and you spell it, "wut" and "rune"??? Rune is a Mythological Stone. You wanted R-U-I-N. Seriously.
Posted By: Tuesday (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 05:09 PM
Someguy, you're one of the only people that seems to agree with me that The Undertaker is boring. Why can't that guy put anyone over? He might loss once a year, maybe, and even then he gets to spend the rest of the year destroying whoever it was. It's kind of gross to watch a really old guy do that pose in the ring with his tongue all the time too.
Posted By: The Glory Of Roma (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 05:12 PM
Kyle Hyde, did CM Punk piss in your orange juice yesterday in recess?
Posted By: Dan (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 08:43 PM
Honestly. Did CM Punk snatch a beer out of your hands and force you to drink Pepsi?
Posted By: JJ (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 10:01 PM
Tuesday, thanks for the spell check remark, it drives me nuts when people write in a way that proves Vince is right to treat fans like morons. Unfortunately you used "there" instead of "their", which is equally abusive of the English language. The show was decent but not great. The one great part was Edge cleanly beating CM Punk, who is the most overrated wrestler today. No mic skills and nothing above average in the ring. As for Taker, BDV and Mark Henry can't wrestle and are no more pushable than Khali. They are employed for exactly what we've been seeing, job fodder. The Noble/Michelle/Palumbo angle is interesting but nothing will get Chuck over. He has no charisma and his acting is too forced.
Posted By: Jason (Guest) on January 26, 2008 at 11:20 PM
Undertaker should lose to the mid-card for life (and overpushed at that) BDV and Henry? Punk should beat the World Champ 2 days before a big title defense? Please tell me you guys are just trolling. I would hope nobody could be that stupid in real life. As for the show, the best thing on it was the Noble/Chuck/Michelle storyline. I also enjoyed the MVP-Flair stuff, 'Taker's submission, and Rey's handicap match was fun.
Posted By: Guest#1624 (Guest) on January 27, 2008 at 12:22 AM
To the guy before me, thank you. Because there is no way you job two of your top draws, two days before they have matches in which they are considered the favorite. As far as CM Punk goes, he is not overrated at all. If the WWE ever pulls its head out its ass, and lets him wrestle the style that made him popular in the indies, then I guarentee everyone will be sick of Undertaker, Triple H, etc. Guys who can't lose, and when they do, they get their heat back in the post match beat down.
Posted By: Joey (Guest) on January 27, 2008 at 04:32 AM
So the stuff between Vince and Finlay is going to payoff by revealing Hornswoggle is really Finlay's son. But I don't know what the reasoning will be as to why Vince was acting as the father. Any ideas?
Posted By: oldschool (Guest) on January 27, 2008 at 06:02 AM
I think Finlay is Vince's son, actually
Posted By: Jamal (Guest) on January 27, 2008 at 09:50 AM
Maybe Finlay used to be a woman, or maybe he is actually Hornswoggle's mother. Finlay threatened to go public with the truth if Vince didn't stop with the "tough love" on Hornswoggle, and Vince obviously doesn't want the world to know that he once got it on with the Fightin' Irishman.
Posted By: Jeff (Guest) on January 28, 2008 at 09:51 AM
"Punk's title loss frees him up to enter the Rumble, which was going to be a problem because he was already a champion." That sounded pretty logical at the time...and then Chavo ended up in the Rumble. D'oh.
Posted By: sullenjoe (Guest) on January 28, 2008 at 09:53 AM
Fued is not a word. The word is Feud. You check your spell checker and dictionary before you give other people advice on the English language.
Posted By: suziq (Guest) on January 29, 2008 at 04:29 PM
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