The ECDub Crater 01.29.08

Posted by Ryan Byers on 01.30.2008

ECW is the best show that I've reviewed for this website in months. That speaks volumes about the quality of the content that I normally handle, doesn't it?

Welcome, one and all to the first ever (and probably last ever) ECDUB CRATER~! For those of you who may not know me, I'm Ryan. I usually review TNA Impact for this very website. Tonight, your usual ECW recapper Mike Bauer had better things to do than watch the same ten guys wrestle the same three matches they've been wrestling for the last two months. As such, big bossman Larry Csonka switched over to writing your traditional ECW report and invited yours truly to bring my typical Impact review format over to the Land of the Extreme for one night only. You know, because this show is so important that the website can't afford to have any fewer than three men writing about it.

With the introductions and pleasantries finally out of the way, let's head to the show.



Quick & Dirty Results

Segment #1: Kane def. Shelton Benjamin by count out
Segment #2: Victoria def. Kelly Kelly
Segment #3: Johnny Nitro & Mike Mizanin def. Colin Delaney in a handicap match
Segment #4: C.M. Punk def. Elijah Burke
Segment #5: Kofi Kingston def. Rob Eckos
Segment #6: Chavo Guerrero, Jr. Interview Segment

The Main Stuff

Angle Numero Uno: C.M. Partypooper

I'm not a huge fan of C.M. Punk in 2008, and I'm not a huge fan of Chavo Guerrero in 2008. It's odd, because both guys used to ooze charisma and used to have interesting, clearly defined personas. (Check out Punk's work in Ring of Honor or Chavo's time as a mental case in WCW.) However, over the last couple of years, Punk has been turned in to "Generic Wrestler A," and Chavo has been turned in to "Generic Wrestler B." It's really unfortunate, as the two men feuding at their peaks could've been fairly entertaining.

That being said, the interaction between the men that we got was fine, even if it wasn't the most exciting professional wrestling in the world. It was a basic, run of the mill "Babyface gets revenge for being screwed over by the heel" angle, and it'll probably captivate just as many viewers as the typical ECW main event angle does. Of course, there wasn't a ton of interaction between the two participants in the feud, which meant that the real M.V.P. of the angle was none other than Joey Styles. If it weren't for Styles putting over the title change as a huge deal all night long, the show closing guitar shot wouldn't have felt nearly as special as it ultimately did. I only hope that we get a little bit more interaction between the two wrestlers on next week's show, as, no matter how well Joey does, you're not going to have a captivating main event storyline if the in-ring participants only play off of each other for thirty seconds per episode.

Angle Numero Dos: "Colin" All Cars

Tonight's installment of the continuing Colin Delaney/Colin Olsen saga was simultaneously the best and the worst of professional wrestling. One of the things that I regularly blast TNA for when reviewing their show is never taking the time to recap their angles so that fans who don't necessarily watch every show can stay on top of what's happened. That's why the video package of the Delaney angle that ECW ran tonight was so awesome. By the time that it ended, there was no way that anybody could not know what had been going on in the storyline for the last month or so. In fact, Tazz even went as far as explaining WHY THEY WERE SHOWING THE PACKAGE. If I didn't know any better, I'd bet that his line was a direct shot at the oft-confusing and poorly explained TNA product.

Of course, as soon as WWE presented a fine example of something that TNA should do but doesn't, they then proceeded to immediately make an error right out of the Total Nonstop Action playbook. You see, we were told that Mr. Delaney would be wrestling against the Smackdown Tag Team Champions in a handicap match. What we were not told was WHY this match was taking place. Little touches like that help the wacky world of wrestling to make the tiniest bit of sense, and that tiny bit of logic can help get fans more emotionally invested in the product. It literally would have taken ten seconds for Joey Styles to say something to the effect of "Armando Estrada, ECW general manager, is an evil human being. He takes pleasure in seeing young Colin suffer." Instead, we got nothing. Given that we're dealing with a midcard angle on WWE's c-level show, this is not a huge indiscretion. However, it's still a pet peeve of mine, and I walked away from the segment annoyed.

Angle Numero Tres: El on Earth

I have a feeling that, after tonight's Kelly Kelly vs. Victoria match, I'm going to be reading a lot of people on the internet talking about just how much Kelly is improving in the ring. If you see people making such claims, take note . . . because you can officially count these folks as being among the ranks of individuals who have no clue what they're talking about. Don't get me wrong, the match this evening was perfectly acceptable by the standards set for WWE women's action. However, it was ALL Victoria. Even the offense landed by young Kelly consisted of maneuvers in which the person supposedly getting hurt has a lot more to do with how good the move looks than does the person supposedly executing the move. (The huricanrana is a perfect example of this. You'll note that it's always one of the first big moves that a relatively untrained WWE woman does, and you'll note that they always do it against the Vicotrias, Jillian Halls, and Mickie Jameses of the world.)

I also had to chuckle at the angle shot after the women's match tonight. Apparently the feud between Layla El and Kelly Kelly is now supposed to continue because, after a completely unrelated woman beat Kelly clean in the middle of the ring, Layla walked in, picked Kelly up, and sat her back down. She didn't even THROW her down. She just placed her gently back down on the mat. It's ironic, really, because usually Layla looks like one of the stiffest competitors on the entire WWE roster.

And the Rest . . .

~ Armando Estrada is way too good of a promo to be wasted on this show. We need to get him back on Raw or Smackdown ASAP.

~ Kofi Kingston? Cool music. I can't say much more about him at this point, though.

~ You know, given that WWE is no longer even pretending that this version of ECW is tied to the old one, it's time to adopt a new design for the title belt. I've always thought that the look of the belt was a bit bush league, with the only reason to keep it around being the history. Now that the desire to exploit the former promotion's history is gone, their belt probably should be too.

~ Good to see northeast indy guy Rob Eckos getting a shot as an enhancement talent. I've seen him a handful of times. He's always been solid in the ring and has improved his body since the last time that I caught one of his matches. He even has an odd tie-in to ECW, as he used to be a stablemate of Matt Striker in 3PW, one of the many indy groups that tried to fill the void left by the original ECDub by regularly running the bingo hall around the turn of the century.

Overall

I have to admit that I'm not a regular viewer of ECW. It just doesn't do much to capture my attention. Part of that is because WWE treats it as far and away their least important program. An even bigger part of the problem is that ECW seems to be where wrestlers who have no discernable personality go to die. (Seriously, what's the difference between Elijah Burke's character and Shelton Benjamin's character? Chavo Guerrero's character and Shelton Benjamin's character? Tommy Dreamer's character and CM Punk's character?) However, every time that I do tune in, I never actively dislike the show. It's always good for some moderately decent in-ring action, as we saw tonight in Punk vs. Burke and Benjamin vs. Kane. The angles that they do are so simple that they're hard to screw up, meaning that the booking is also usually solid if unspectacular. This episode of ECW fell directly in line with that general description. If you missed it, you didn't miss anything special. If you saw it, you probably won't remember anything on it two months from now. That's probably how things will continue until the Sci-Fi Network decides that they no longer want to renew the show.