411’s WWE Heat Report 02.03.08

Posted by Scott Slimmer on 02.03.2008

The evolution of Charlie Haas continues as he channels both Mick Foley and Sharkboy. Yeah, that’s right, he reaches into his pants and pulls out something fishy…

Hey guys and gals, I'm Scott, and this is 411's ALL-NEW, ALL-DIFFERENT WWE Heat Report.

Anyway, I think we have some wrestling to discuss. I've always prided myself on writing the Best Damn Heat Report on the Net, and part of being the best is continually striving to improve. So recently I was proud to debut a completely new format for the Heat Report. The most dramatic change was a drastic reduction in the length of the play-by-play. I loved writing in-depth, detailed reports of each match, but I completely understand that most readers would rather just get right to the highlights. So from now on I'm going to be presenting a more condensed Overview of each match in order to give you a clear view of the main events while skipping over some of the more minor details. However, in order to compensate for the abbreviated length of the Overview, I'm also going to be adding a Background, Analysis, and Rating for each match. The Background will provide a brief review of the recent events in the careers of each of the wrestlers involved in the match while the Analysis and Rating will allow me to give you my opinion on the quality and future implications of the match. Finally, I'll still include the Result, Length, and Best Spot in order to continue to provide the most complete coverage possible. Okay, enough with the boring stuff. Let's get to the wrestling.




Match 1: DH Smith vs. Charlie Haas

Background: DH Smith has suffered two consecutive losses on Heat. Two weeks ago he was beaten by Santino Marella, and last week he was bested by Trevor Murdoch. On the other side of the ring, Charlie Haas scored his first victory since debuting his new luchador gimmick when he defeated Super Crazy last week on Heat. That victory snapped Haas' three-week losing streak and has begun to legitimize Haas' new in-ring strategy. Is Charlie Haas a few tacos short of a fiesta platter, or has this all been a part of his master plan? Either way, a win here by Haas would continue to demonstrate the efficacy of his rather unorthodox plan of attack. However, Smith is almost certainly going to do everything in his power to avoid taking the fall three weeks in a row…

Overview: Josh Mathews has apparently killed Jack Korpela and taken his prestigious stop on the Heat commentary team. Look, Korpela was no Joey Styles, but at least he would call a few moves from time to time. Sure, sometimes he called them incorrectly, but I'll totally give him credit for the effort. Anyway, Haas takes control early with an arm wringer into an arm bar into another arm wringer, but Smith rolls out into an arm wringer and a wrist lock of his own. Haas regains control, goes back to the arm wringer, and pounds away at Smith's shoulder. Smith ducks a clothesline and finds a standing rear waist lock, but Haas counters into a standing rear waist lock of his own. Smith counters into an arm drag and then kicks out of a head scissors before countering a hip toss into a hip toss of his own for a one count. Smith scores with a standing drop kick that sends Haas out of the ring… and all the way under the mat. And this time he stays under the mat for quick some time… before reappearing in a mask and a totally different singlet. Somebody's been watching too many Hannah Montana clips on YouTube…

Lucha Haas slides back in the ring, but Smith immediately traps him in the corner and goes for the mask. Lucha Haas whips Smith to the corner and Smith tries to float over, but Haas stays behind him and catches him with a chop block. Whereas Charlie Haas had been working over Smith's arm, Lucha Haas now goes to work on Haas' leg. Lucha Haas lands a stiff kick to the back and gets a one count. Lucha Haas traps Smith in the corner and torques his leg around the middle rope, but Smith rips off Lucha Haas' mask and tosses it out of the ring. Haas goes over to the ropes and stares in bewilderment at his mask, but that gives Smith the chance to regain momentarily regain control. Smith whips Haas to the ropes and ducks his head to telegraph the back body drop, but Haas puts on the brakes and drops Smith with a stiff kick to the back of the leg. Haas then REACHES INTO HIS SINGLET AND PULLS OUT A BLACK SHARKBOY MASK.

Okay, let's pause for a moment and review. Charlie Haas is now stealing another wrestler's gimmick (i.e., Mat Classic's gimmick) and wearing a fish mask. That's textbook Sharkboy. However, Haas is also displaying symptoms of dissociative identity disorder (formerly known as multiple personality disorder) and has a tendency to pull garments with faces on them out of his pants. That's textbook Mick Foley. So you think "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal and "Stone Cold" Sharkboy are bad? Well here on Heat, we've got Charlie "Cactus Dude Manboy Classic" Haas. Only in WWE, my friends. Only in WWE.

Anyway, Lucha Haas II stomps on Smith, traps him in the corner, and stomps a mud hole in him. Lucha Haas II drags Smith back to the middle of the ring and locks in a sweet high-angle Half Boston Crab (basically a single leg Walls of Jericho). Smith finally gets back to his feet, goes for a sunset flips, rips off the mask, and completes the sunset flip for a two count. Smith gets a jackknife pin for a two count followed by a school boy pin for another two count. Haas hits the ropes and charges at Smith, but Smith catches him with a power slam for yet another two count. Smith hits a fisherman's suplex and tries to bridge for the pin, but his knee gives out on him. Haas grabs Smith by the tights and flings him out of the ring before kicking him off the ring apron when he tries to climb back in the ring. Haas dons the mask once again, and Lucha Haas II heads out of the ring to slam Smith's leg into the ring steps. Lucha Haas II rolls Smith back into the ring, locks in el Haasa del Dolor, and gets the submission victory. Oh, and as a quick addendum, I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by Josh Mathews' commentary. He was actually trying to call moves like the high-angle Half Boston Crab while Todd Grisham was comparing Lucha Haas II's mask to Skeletor. Dude, as insane as this sounds, I bet Jack Korpela and Josh Mathews would actually be a pretty sweet commentary team…

Analysis:: This match wasn't quite as good as the match that Smith and Haas had on Heat back in December, and unfortunately I have to put the blame on Haas' new gimmick. I'll talk about the merits of the gimmick in a bit more detail down in my response to last week's comments, but the bottom line here is that all of the drama surrounding Haas' masks simply killed most of the momentum that he and Smith were able to build. It's hard to sustain the energy of a match when one of the participants needs to spend a few minutes under the ring reconsidering his wardrobe selection for the evening. However, that being said, I do like the fact that Haas has begun to win matches using the new gimmick. Because nobody wants to see a half-psychotic luchador go on a losing streak…

Result: Lucha Haas II defeats DH Smith with el Haasa del Dolor.
Length: 7:41
Best Spot: Lucha Haas II's high-angle Half Boston Crab
Rating: *½


Match 2: "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. Robbie McAllister

Background: "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan and his on-again / off-again tag team partner Super Crazy have been feuding with The Highlanders for almost three months. The Highlanders defeated Duggan & Crazy on the November 2, 2007 episode of Heat, but Duggan & Crazy gained a small measure of revenge when they teamed up with "Hardcore" Holly & Cody Rhodes to defeat the Highlanders and their partners Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch on the November 26, 2007 episode of Raw. However, the Highlanders struck back and picked up a win over Duggan & Crazy on the December 21, 2007 episode of Heat. Duggan & Crazy evened up the score with a victory over the Highlanders on the January 18, 2007 episode of Heat. Duggan and Robbie will both be looking to once again take the lead in this singles continuation of a rather lengthy tag team feud.

Overview: Robbie has new, more heelish bagpipe entrance music. Yeah, but can he shoot lighting from his arse? I think not. There's a great moment before the match even begins when Duggan begins to stomp his foot and Josh Mathews thinks he's warming up the band. Dude, seeing Duggan hit Sweet Chin Music would be spectacular. And I really am starting to dig Mathews on commentary. Anyway, Robbie takes control early with a standing rear hammer lock, but Duggan quickly reverses into a standing rear hammer lock of his own. Robbie makes it to the ropes to force the break, but Duggan finds a standing side head lock followed by a running shoulder block. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! Duggan rams Robbie's head into the top turnbuckle and levels him with three running clotheslines, but Robbie rolls out onto the ring apron before wrenching Duggan's arm over the top rope. Robbie stomps away at Duggan's shoulder and torques his arm around the top rope before locking in an arm bar. Duggan tries to fight back to his feet, but Robbie flings him back down to the mat and goes back to the arm bar. Robbie whips Duggan to the corner and goes for a Scottish Splash, but Duggan just manages to slide out of the way. Duggan drops Robbie with a series of punches before hitting a spinning scoop slam and connecting with the Three Point Stance Running Clothesline for the three count.

Analysis:: Like I asked last week, what was the point of this match? It was a fine little four minute match, but what did it accomplish? Duggan is NEVER going to get any kind of real push at this point in his career, so why is he going over a guy like Robbie that could be tweaked and / or repacked and pushed? I've been saying for years that Robbie could be a star if he wasn't hindered by the Highlanders gimmick, but seeing him job to Duggan doesn't give me a lot of faith that WWE is ever going to let him live up to his rather considerable potential.

Result: "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan defeats Robbie McAllister with the Three Point Stance Running Clothesline.
Length: 4:12
Best Spot: Duggan's Three Point Stance Running Clothesline
Rating: *


Match 3: Super Crazy vs. Trevor Murdoch

Background: Super Crazy has recently found some measure of success when teaming with his on-again / off-again tag team partner "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, but last week he returned to singles action in order to defend the honor and dignity of luchadores everywhere against Charlie Haas. Unfortunately, Crazy lost that match to Haas last week, so he'll be looking to regain his footing in the singles scene in this match. Trevor Murdoch had been in a slump of his own since an injury sidelined his tag team partner Lance Cade, but Murdoch began to turn things around last week on Heat when he defeated DH Smith using his "new" finishing move, the Ace of Spades (which is very similar, if not totally identical, to his old West Texas Destroyer). Murdoch hopes to pick up another win this week and build even more momentum as he waits for Cade to return to action.

Overview: Crazy takes control early with a standing side head lock before dodging a back elbow shot in the corner and connecting with a second rope flying cross body. Crazy finds a hip toss and gets la magistral for a one count before hitting a drop toe hold and scoring an Oklahoma roll (but he's not even from Oklahoma!) for a two count. Crazy goes to work with stiff kicks to the back of Murdoch's leg before landing a standing drop kick that knocks Murdoch out of the ring. Crazy fakes a move over the top rope, does a springboard moonsault back to the middle of the ring, and then drop kicks Murdoch off the ring apron as we head to commercial.

Murdoch is back in the ring and back in control as we return from the break. Murdoch has a front chancery locked in deep and then goes for a suplex, but Crazy counters into a small package for a one count. Murdoch lands a big boot for a two count before hitting a couple of forearm shots and locking in a modified camel clutch. Crazy fights back to his feet and flings Murdoch into the corner before hitting a jaw breaker followed by a springboard drop kick, a spinning heel kick, a basement drop kick to the knee, and another basement drop kick to the face for a two count. Crazy heads up to the second rope and goes for a moonsault, but Murdoch gets his knees up. Murdoch gets back to his feet and hits the Ace of Spades for the three count. Okay, Murdoch only sorta hit the Ace of Spades. He didn't get far enough around Crazy during the rotation, and so Crazy landed right on top of him as if for a jackknife pin. Murdoch then had to slide Crazy forward so that his shoulders where, you know, actually on the mat.

Analysis:: Okay, first things first. Trevor Murdoch needs to stop using the West Texas Destroyer / Ace of Spades until he can hit it cleanly with some degree of consistency. He hit it beautifully last week against DH Smith, but it looked terrible this week against Super Crazy. And let's not forget that Murdoch damn near killed Matt Hardy with it last year. However, the rest of the match was fairly decent for a six minute match. Crazy hit a number of Crazy-ish spots, and Murdoch got to display some of his trademark brutality. I also think it's a good idea to keep Murdoch strong while Cade is on the shelf so that the team has some sort of credibility and can hit the ground running when Cade is ready to return to the ring.

Result: Trevor Murdoch defeats Super Crazy with (a hella sloppy version of) the Ace of Spades.
Length: 5:51 (including commercial)
Best Spot: Crazy's springboard drop kick
Rating: *½


Comments from Last Week

Long Live Lucha Charliebra Haas!!! (Posted By: Flyboy)

I love the whole "luchadore" gimmick Haas has been using. Haas is a great wrestler, but he never quite had the look, the charisma, or the mic skills to really get over with WWE fans. This gimmick will most likely help him seem less dull to fans who tune into heat regulary *coughmecough*. Hopefully he'll even get a spot on RAW or SD soon. (Posted By: Christian)

Looks like the Lucha Haas love continues. Like I said last week, and as much as it pains me to admit this, I'm ever so slowly beginning to warm to the concept of Lucha Haas. Actually, to be more truthful, I'm slowly beginning to warm to the reaction that Lucha Haas has been getting from the fans. I'm still not sold on the gimmick itself, but you can't deny that people are talking about Charlie Haas more than I can ever remember him being discussed in the past. Some fans like the gimmick and some fans don't like the gimmick, but the bottom line is that Charlie Haas has generated more buzz than I've seen anyone on Heat produce in the last three years. I guess this is sort of like a scaled down version of the John Cena argument that has been raging throughout the IWC during the past week. Is the most important role of a gimmick to get the fans interested in a wrestler? Does it matter if fans love or hate the gimmick as long as they're talking about the gimmick? Discuss amongst yourselves.


Should be Dios mio not mi Dios (Posted By: AOD)

Fair enough. I really only know enough Spanish to order at Taco Bell. Because I do love a good chalupa. Anyway, I've heard Joey Styles make the call both ways, so I decided to check with Babelfish, and that's where I got the "oh mi Dios" translation. Stupid Babelfish. Dude, if this kind of thing happens again, I may have to stop believing everything I read on the internet…


Heat was good this week but...what happened to Drew Mcintyre? He was on Heat once and seemed to be a better face than a heel. (Posted By: markhenrysquash4242)

I haven't heard any official word on the status of Drew Mcintyre, but I would put money on the fact that WWE is keeping him off of Heat for a few weeks before they bring him back as the third member of the Highlanders. Come on, you just know WWE wouldn't be able to stand having a Scottish face singles wrestler and a Scottish heel tag team on the same show…


Canadians aren't allowed to watch heat on WWE.com – probably something to do with broadcast rights - so is there anywhere that allows us to watch? Even if it's a week or so later? (Posted By: jim)

i just dont understand why canadians cant watch heat. (Posted By: d-john)

Um… yeah, I got nothin'. I know that we watch Heat on the net here in the states, but I think the net version is blocked in places where Heat is still on television (such as England, I believe). As for all of my loyal Canadian readers… um, I dunno, go ask Randle or something…


HA! I think I'm the only one who got the FRIENDS- Ross reference. Nice one. (Posted By: Thomas)

I'm just really glad that someone else can vouch for the fact that I don't just fantasize about random guys creaming themselves…

Okay kids, that's it for this edition of Heat. Hope you had fun. Feel free to email me with any comments or suggestions. I'll see you back here next weekend.