The Impact Crater 02.14.08

Posted by Ryan Byers on 02.15.2008

The Angles renew their vows, and TNA renews its longstanding rivalry with the basic principles of booking a good show.

Quick & Dirty Results

Segment #1: Christian/Samoa Joe Interview Segment
Segment #2: D-Von Dudley def. Shark Boy & Curry Man
Segment #3: Scott Steiner vs. Abyss never happened because Abyss walked out and unmasked.
Segment #4: Scott Steiner def. Petey Williams
Segment #5: Travis Tomko & AJ Styles def. Kevin Nash & Samoa Joe
Segment #6: Rellik is Killer Spelled Backwards def. Eric Young
Segment #7: Rhino Interview Segment
Segment #8: The Amazing Kong def. ODB in a street fight
Segment #9: Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe Interview Segment

The Main Stuff

Angle Numero Uno: More Muddled Main Events

Well, we're headed in to a new pay per view and building towards some new matches, but TNA's main event booking is still following the same pattern that has driven me mad throughout all of 2008. Apparently '08 is the year in which Jarrett, Russo, Mantel, and company decided that, instead of doing a traditional one on one feud for the main event, they were going to have six guys feuding with each other simultaneously with two of them then going on to have a pay per view title match. The whole thing is a huge mess.

Samoa Joe is getting ready to receive yet another shot at the TNA Title on the next pay per view. Granted, there was more of a focus on the upcoming Joe/Angle match tonight than there ever was for the Christian/Angle match that took place this past weekend. However, we still have five thousand other things going on involving those gentlemen, and I'm trying to figure out why it's all necessary. In addition to trying to fend of Joe, Angle is also apparently going to be feuding with AJ Styles, as the Phenomenal One planted a big smooch on Kurt's wife this evening. Plus, Joe is still having contractual issues with Jim Cornette, and we've had no follow-up/resolution on the angle in which Joe put Cornette's buddy Matt Morgan through a table. Also, Joe was just pinned (again) by Travis Tomko in the middle of tonight's show, which would normally set up some sort of issue between those two. Oh, and Tomko beat the hell out of Christian on the last pay per view, and there was friction between Christian and Joe in tonight's opening interview segment, after which Christian was laid out backstage. I have one question about this:

WHY?!

Seriously, if the main event of the next pay per view is Kurt Angle going up against Christian, why can't the focus of the television leading in to that pay per view be an issue between Kurt Angle and Christian? If the main event of the next pay per view is Kurt Angle defending his title against Samoa Joe, why can't the focus of the television leading up that pay per view be an issue between Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe? Why do we need so many extracurricular activities involving the Kevin Nashes, Matt Morgans, Travis Tomkos, and AJ Styleses of the world? This is a formula that has gotten people to watch pro wrestling television shows for decades, and it's a formula that has, more importantly, gotten people to buy live event tickets and pay per views for decades. I hate to sound like a broken record in these reviews, but it's hard not to when TNA makes the same mistakes week after week after painful week.

Angle Numero Dos: The Lost Art of Pacing

For the most part, I've been a huge proponent of the TNA women's division. A lot of that is because I like the wrestlers that they've got under contract, and even more of it is because the division's storylines have been fairly well booked. However, tonight's women's segment was a perfect showcase of one of the things that I hate the most about TNA. What's that, you ask?

I'm talking about the promotion's penchant for cramming six months worth of angles in to a single eight minute segment. Tonight we not only had the Kong/ODB rematch less than one week after their original encounter, but we also had an unsteady alliance being formed between ODB and Gail Kim. On top of that, we've already got Kim and ODB in each other's faces. This is far more than what needed to happen in one evening. The women's division right now consists of ten different competitors, only three of whom are legitimate contenders for the title, two of whom are generally job girls for those three, and five of whom are involved in their own angles/managerial roles. Granted, you can always sign more wrestlers as the need presents itself, but the company is still not in a position in which they need to hotshot any angles involving the ladies.

The Kong/ODB rematch easily could've been put off until the next pay per view with Kim getting involved. Then you could get another month's worth of television out of teasing dissension between Kim and Kong as they head towards either a PPV triple threat or tag team match also involving Kong. At that point you pull the trigger on a number one contender's match between Kim and ODB for the June pay per view, with the winner getting Kong in July. That's four months worth of material using the same three women, and, if booked properly, it wouldn't even get boring. Unfortunately for TNA, they choose not to get the full mileage that they can out of their performers, instead choosing to do five hundred things in the same segment as a part of their campaign to appeal to those with no attention span.

Angle Numero Tres: Comedic Overkill

You know, on its own, Bubba Dudley trying to lose weight would probably be pretty funny. On its own, the Angle wedding might have been pretty funny. On its own, Eric Young vs. Rellik would probably be pretty funny. On its own, Curry Man would probably be pretty funny. On its own, AJ Styles pining over Karen Angle would probably be pretty funny. On its own, Petey Williams mimicking Scott Steiner would probably be pretty funny. On its own, the Jimmy Rave/Lance Hoyt/Christy Hemme gimmick would probably be pretty funny. Hell, even "Stone Cold" Shark Boy might be funny in isolation. However, we've got so many comedy gimmicks and angles in TNA that they all blend together to the point that nothing actually stands out. All I want is a show that's a bit more balanced. Is that too much to ask?

And the Rest . . .

~ I don't know if this is airing nationally or if it's just a local thing, but I'm STILL seeing the Christmas-themed commercial for erectile dysfunction medication Enzyte during Impact. The fact that a Christmas-themed commercial for Enzyte exists is disturbing enough, but the fact that I'm forced to watch it in February is wholly unacceptable.

~ You'd think that, after roughly thirty years of being involved in professional wrestling, Earl Hebner would have at least some idea of how to work a microphone. As much as Slick Johnson annoyed me when he was a part of TNA storylines, at least if you stuck him out there tonight he would've been audible over the crowd.

~ The in-ring chemistry of Petey Williams and Scott Steiner is fifty times better than I ever would have expected it to be.

~ Wow, Alex Shelley attempting to promote NASCAR was something else. I don't think that I've seen somebody look that apathetic while doing his job. No wonder they made him look like a putz at the pay per view. I would've too if he had that kind of attitude.

~ I liked Booker T.'s threat to Bobby Roode in his final segment this evening on Impact. It was essentially "You either come down here to the Impact Zone next week so I can kick your ass, or I'll come to Manhattan and kick your ass!" That's up there with DX's "Let's get ready to suck it . . . and, if you're not down with that, we've got two words for you: Suck it!" in the realm of non-choices.

Overall

Well, I have to say that this episode of Impact was better than I expected. After seeing what the promotion has done on other holidays (most notably Thanksgiving), I figured we'd get a full-on Valentine's Day themed show with plenty of wacky skits and a ladder match featuring AJ Styles dressing up as Cupid. Fortunately, the powers that be decided to not go that way with this evening's episode. Unfortunately, a show can be significantly better than the Thanksgiving Impact and remain pretty poor. Such was the case here. There were some short spurts of decent in-ring action, but the direction of the company remains completely unclear. The focus of the program is almost ALWAYS AJ Styles and his relationship with the Angles, but it doesn't appear that Styles is being groomed for a title shot or any role other than "lackey to the champions." AJ's overexposure given his position on the card cut the legs out from under Christian as number one contender for the last two months, and it looks like it's going to do the same thing to Joe. If AJ is going to be the focus of the promotion, why doesn't the company make him the ACTUAL focus of the promotion, i.e. the top challenger for the belt? Doing anything else is a waste of time and the other wrestlers' efforts.