The Impact Crater 02.21.08

Posted by Ryan Byers on 02.22.2008

Aside from a surprisingly good Jay Lethal segment, if you've seen any episode of Impact in the last three months, you've already watched this show.

Quick & Dirty Results

Segment #1: AJ Styles & Travis Tomko def. Billy Gunn & The Bullet to retain the TNA Tag Titles
Segment #2: Jay Lethal interview segment
Segment #3: Frankie Kazarian def. Rellik is Killer Spelled Backwards
Segment #4: Petey Williams def. Sonjay Dutt & Johnny Devine
Segment #5: Bubba Dudley def. Shark Boy & Curry Man in a handicap match
Segment #6: Roxxi LaVeaux & Jackie Moore def. ODB & Gail Kim
Segment #7: Kurt Angle def. Booker T.

The Main Stuff

Angle Numero Uno: Carin' for Karen

Wow, how has it taken me this long to use that particular pun?

Anyway, tonight's big skit-driven angle saw AJ Styles taking Karen Angle on the couple's "honeymoon" after their "wedding" last week. This resulted from – you guessed it – Kurt and Karen bickering with one another. AJ decided that the best place to romance his new bride would be Gator World, where he poked a large reptile with a stick until Don West came to the conclusion that Karen may be falling for the so-called boyish charm of Mr. Styles. Of course, we all know where this is going. Next week, Kurt Angle will get in AJ's face after he realizes that his wife might be smitten with the phenomenal one. Karen will defend AJ, and the big question will be whether the dissension in the heel faction will cause them to lose in the main event of Destination X. Then, at the pay per view, it will be revealed that the Angles and Styles planned this whole thing from the beginning, with there never having been any tension between Kurt and AJ in the first place. It's the same story that we see on an almost monthly basis in TNA, and I have no clue why they're so transparently setting it up again.

. . . and, believe it or not, that's all I have to say on the matter. You'd think something that got so much TV time could inspire a bit more to flow from my keyboard, but the fact of the matter is that I feel like I've written everything I need to write about this angle before. God knows that I've seen it enough times for that to be the case.

Angle Numero Dos: Joe Doesn't Know Negotiation

This week's chapter in the Samoa Joe/Jim Cornette contract signing saga only lasted about thirty seconds and came in the form of a backstage skit. Of course, we're talking about TNA, so they packed roughly twenty plot points in to those thirty seconds. Indulge me, if you will, as I attempt to unpack all of this.

First of all, the main event of the next pay per view is apparently no longer a TNA Title match between Joe and Kurt Angle, as we were promised prior to Against All Odds. Now we're getting a wacky six man tag between the team of Kevin Nash, Samoa Joe, and Christian and the team of Kurt Angle, AJ Styles, and Travis Tomko. We'll ignore the fact that this is virtually the exact same PPV main event that the promotion just gave us in December, as there are more pressing issues to address. What I'm trying to figure out is how exactly the title match got replaced by the six man in kayfabe terms. Joe explained that the six man is taking place because he feels that he has to take out the so-called Angle Alliance before he can get a fair shake at taking Kurt's championship. However, what we DON'T know is who switched the two bouts. Did Joe somehow get the power to change pay per view main events? Did Jim Cornette acquiesce to Joe's wishes because he wants the Samoan's contract signed? Did Matt Morgan change the match as part of the feud that he was having with Cornette last month? Nobody knows. Nobody knows because it's never been stated. Before anybody gets angry with me, I'm not trying to argue that this explanation would result in hundreds of thousands of more people buying the pay per view. All I'm saying is that I'm tired of TNA leaving so many small yet obvious holes in their storylines when they would literally take five seconds to fill.

Speaking of plot holes, here's another one. Joe feels that he can't get a fair shake as long as the Angle Alliance is a factor. Thus, he books himself (or gets himself booked, whichever) in a match in which he feels that he'll have the ability to take the Alliance out. This way, his title match at Lockdown is sure to be free of interference! Wait a second . . . what did I just say? Samoa Joe's title match AT LOCKDOWN will be free of interference. Hey, Joe, I've got a bit of advice for you. Every match at Lockdown takes place inside a steel cage. If you take your title match at Lockdown, you shouldn't need to do the six man tag. You won't have to take AJ and Tomko out of the equation, because that's exactly what the cage is supposed to do. "But Ryan!" you say, "There have been lots of cage matches in TNA that feature people interfering!" Well, that's true. However, it's not a very good argument to take up in this situation. You'd basically be defending the argument that Joe's character looks like a morn with the argument that TNA has no clue how to put together effective gimmick matches. The second problem is far worse than the first.

Also, what the hell was the deal with Joe telling Jim Cornette that he wouldn't sign his contract until after he won the TNA Title? He's apparently trying to pressure Cornette in to doing something, but what exactly is it? Is Joe attempting to blackmail Corny in to screwing Angle out of the belt at Lockdown? If so, that's a pretty poor way to have your lead babyface acting.

Angle Numero Tres: Tonight is the Night He's Been Waiting For

When Jay Lethal singlehandedly won the six man street fight at the last pay per view, I went on the record as saying that it was an absolutely phenomenal attempt at making him in to a major star. However, I also acknowledged the fact that TNA has done things that SHOULD have made Lethal in to a major star before, only to completely bungle the follow-up. This happened over a year ago when he took Jeff Jarrett to the limit but received no subsequent push, and it happened late in 2007 when he upset Kurt Angle but was then immediately pinned clean by Christopher Daniels on the next show. Tonight, though, something was different. Tonight, they got the follow-up right.

Granted, things would've been a little bit better if Lethal had actually appeared on last week's Impact, the first show after his big victory. The events of this evening were so awesome, though, that I'm willing to let that go. The segment began strong with veteran manager Jim Cornette putting Lethal over HUGE, including running down the list of accomplishments that I alluded to just a few moments ago. Then the mic was handed over to Lethal himself. I'm not going to say that Jay Lethal is a great promo. In fact, his delivery is a bit stilted and his voice is a little on the odd side. This was some very strong mic work, though, and I think that it was actually helped by Lethal's quirks instead of hurt by them. The fact that he wasn't as "polished" as your typical great mic worker allowed Lethal to come across as a real human being and not a character on a television show, which made him infinitely more likeable. This was especially needed given that the man has been nothing more than a glorified cartoon character for the last several months. Tonight, though, the cartoon character was gone. Tonight we saw a Jay Lethal who was more than just a gimmick designed to get cheap laughs and sell t-shirts. Tonight we saw a three dimensional Jay Lethal with the same feelings and motivations as any human being. If they continue down this road and also keep him strong in the ring, he could be made in to a legitimate draw.

And the Rest . . .

~ You know, I was a bit surprised when TNA teased a Billy Gunn turn at the last pay per view and didn't deliver, but doing it on TV tonight actually made more sense. If you want an angle to get over, you want as many people to see it as possible, and only about 2% of TNA's "fans" bother to watch their PPVs. That makes Impact the far better venue for pulling the trigger on these things.

~ And what was going on in Billy's promo? Was he trying to set a world record for uses of the word "because?"

~ So, during their video package recapping the Abyss angle, TNA actually referred to one of the events on their own show as a "surprising turn." I guess we didn't need that fourth wall after all.

~ Okay, I may have been down on the women's division last week because they were seemingly fast forwarding through a six month long angle, but tonight's brawl between Gail Kim and ODB was AWESOME. My only hope is that we get a singles match between the two on our upcoming pay per view instead of a three-way involving Kong. The Kim/ODB feud on its own has the legs necessary to last for a couple of months before we even reinsert the Women's Champion.

~ Hey, what happened to Bobby Roode being in Kurt Angle's stable?

Overall

Believe it or not, I didn't mind this particular episode of Impact as a stand-alone show. The poorly executed comedy with AJ and Karen was kept to a minimum, and there was some fine wrestling, particularly the women's tag team match and the main event. On top of that, the Jay Lethal interview was a great example of an old school effort at turning a young man in to an immortal. Yet, no matter how much I liked Impact as a stand-alone show, it is NOT a stand-alone show. It's part of a series of shows, and, more importantly, it's a vehicle through which the company is attempting to promote pay per views. In that regard, this episode was a mess. Its two primary angles, the stories which are supposed to compel us to tune to next week's Impact and Destination X, were a retread of something that we've seen a million times before and the company's babyface title contender acting like a total heel. In that regard, I can't give the show anything other than a thumbs down.

And that does it for another week. I apologize for not answering any reader e-mails or comments for the last couple of Craters, but an added workload at my job and a few more responsibilities than usual here on the site have prevented that from happening. Keep sending them in, and hopefully we'll be able to catch up in the not too distant future.

Before I go, I'd like to send a special shout out to frequent reader and periodic commenter Eddie Chicago, whose father has been fighting through some serious health problems over the past couple of weeks. Everybody here at 411 is pulling for you and your dad, Eddie.