411’s ECW on Sci-Fi Report 3.18.08

Welcome to the ECW on Sci-Fi! As always, I am Michael Bauer, your 411 ECW Re-capper.

And we kick it right off with the fires of hell…

Kane vs. Elijah Burke

Joey announces that Kane will be in the Battle Royal at Wrestlemania, where the winner gets a shot at Chavo Guerrero that night. Joy, we get the most talented jobber to feed to Kane. The bell rings and Burke dances around Kane, but eats an uppercut. Burke whipped off the ropes, but he grabs them and ducks outside to avoid a boot. Kane heads outside and drills Burke’s back into the ring apron before throwing him in the ring. Kane lifts Burke and hits a huge side slam. Kane locks in a neck wrench and kicks Burke in the back. Burke now along the ropes and another forearm hits the kidneys. Kane with a huge body slam on Burke. Kane again locks in a neck wrench on Burke as Tazz comments about how unusual this style is for him. Burke escapes with an elbow, but gets drilled with an uppercut and drops to the mat. Burke catches Kane ducking too early after a whip and kicks him the face. Burke with an uppercut of his own. Burke backs Kane into the corner and hammers away, but Kane fights out. Burke now in the corner and Kane charges, but Burke dodges. Kneepads down and Elijah looking for the express, but Kane turns and GOZZLE!! Chokeslam ends it at 3:35. (2:21)

Winner: Kane

Backstage, Mark Henry shakes hands with Estrada as Chavo walks in. Mark Henry is announced as a member of the Battle Royal Wrestlemania, as is Big Daddy V, Kane, and The Great Khali. Chavo looks disturbed, but is interrupted by Colin Delaney. Colin says he was asked to show up about a contract. Chavo then runs down Colin for getting embarrassed last night against JBL and being unable to win a match. Estrada apologizes for Chavo makes a match between them for tonight in a non-title affair. And if Colin wins, he gets an ECW contract.

Back from a break and we have a Floyd Mayweather hype video.

Kofi Kingston vs. James Curtis

Haven’t we seen this match like five times already? The bell rings and they lock up as Kofi gets a go behind. Curtis reverses and gets a headlock. Shoulder block by Curtis and he goes back off the ropes. Kofi leaps over and hits a drop toehold. Kofi ground Curtis with a side headlock, but Curtis is up. Kofi slips out of a back suplex attempt and hits a perfect dropkick to the face. Kofi back to the headlock and Curtis escapes with a whip, but he gets drilled with a shoulder block. Kofi off the ropes and Curtis hits a kitchen sink knee. Curtis with a hard right hand, but Kofi fights back with elbows until Curtis clubs him in the back. Curtis works the arm of Kofi, but he spins around and kicks out. Kofi with some sledges and chops to down Curtis. Side Russian Leg sweep with some huge torque is followed up by the unique double leg drop. Curtis ducks under a charge by Kofi, but Kofi bounces over Curtis’ back and hits the Jamaican Buzzsaw for the three count at 3:45.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

Backstage, Punk tries to wake up Festus and Jesse hypes up how he can take it to the extreme when that bell rings. I still think he looks like an idiot.

A new Wrestlemania commercial with Kelly as a lifeguard. Some fat guy pretends to drown so we get Kelly running like she was a Baywatch girl. She goes for mouth to mouth, but Mae Young shoves her off to do it. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Please, somebody get these commercials during the Super Bowl, because they sucked this year.

John Morrison, The Miz, and Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk, Jesse, and Festus

Per the usual, the champs come out separately. Shelton sports some slower paced music this week, which sounds really good for him. They announce that the Tag Titles will be on the line on Smackdown this week against Jesse and Festus. The bell rings and Festus hulks up and chases Morrison out of the ring. Morrison trips and Festus brings him into the ring. Morrison gets tossed around with right hands and then dropped with a body slam. Jesse gets tagged in and body slammed onto Morrison for a two count. Jesse with a drop toehold and a dropkick to the head of John for a two count. John Morrison trips up Jesse into the second rope and tags in The Miz. They try a double team, but Jesse grabs the ropes and the champs gets low bridged, sending them to the outside. Punk then dives onto the tag champs. Shelton comes in and takes down Jesse. He tries to cheap shot Festus, but Festus blocks the shot and throws Shelton by one arm over the top rope and onto the pile on the outside. Good lord that was sick. Punk hits the ring as we go to a commercial.

Back from the break as Punk throws Miz into the turnbuckle. Punk hits a stiff kick to the back and gets a two count. Jesse gets tagged in and kicks away on The Miz before hitting a rolling neck snap for two. CM Punk is tagged back in and Miz is grounded with leg kicks. Punk hits a body slam and drops a knee to the face to get a two count. Miz whipped into the corner as Morrison gets the distraction. He gets tossed into the ring and Punk hits the high knee anyway. Shelton comes over and grabs Punk by the hair, slamming him to the mat. Shelton gets tagged in and locks in a headlock. Punk gets to his feet and escapes with an elbow. Punk whipped off the ropes and hits a kick to the face, but Shelton catches Punk with an exploder suplex. Morrison hits a leg drop as he gets tagged in for a two count. Punk escapes a chinlock, but Morrison hits a modified backbreaker. He tries for the neck breaker as well, but Punk rolls through for a two count. Morrison takes down Punk to prevent the tag. Morrison gets caught with an enziguri and Punk reaches Festus as Miz gets tagged in. Festus with a clothesline and a huge butt bump in the corner. Festus with a huge shoulder block and a bicycle kick. Morrison and Shelton break up the pinfall. They both beat on Festus, but Festus grabs Morrison as Jesse hits a missile dropkick off the top rope on Shelton. Morrison tossed to the outside as Miz is in the corner. Festus charges but misses. Miz tries for the Reality Check, but Festus dodges it and lifts up Miz. Festus it’s a flapjack and gets the three count at 11:40.

Winners: CM Punk, Jesse, and Festus

We are back with the Raw Rebound and it is Triple H’s turn to run Orton and Cena’s night.

We then go to Styles and Tazz, who announce the induction of Eddie Graham into the Hall of Fame. Dusty Rhodes will do the induction.

Backstage, Colin Delaney walks to the ring as Styles has to wonder if he can pull off a win over Chavo Guerrero. Tazz calls him a masochist.

Back from the break and we get another promo video for The Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather, this time with the Big Show talking some.

In the ring, Tazz asks Colin Delaney if he is ready to fight Chavo Guerrero. Colin says he is a lot beat up, but he says it is worth it to get a WWE contract.

Non Title Match – Colin Delaney vs. Chavo Guerrero (if Colin wins, he gets and ECW contract)

Chavo looks overconfident with his entrance and Colin… well, he looks like he always does. The bell rings and Colin is nervous. They lock up and Chavo clubs Colin in the back. Chavo chokes Colin with his boot as Tazz compares Colin to Mayweather for their glutton for punishment. Chavo with an uppercut and he whips Colin off the ropes. Colin hits a hip toss and a dropkick. Chavo bails and looks shocked. He screams at Colin that he was playing with the kid as the crows gets behind Colin. Chavo drops Colin with an axe handle and stomps away. Colin locks in a grounded abdominal stretch and clubs him across the chest. Colin gets whipped into the corner, but he avoids the contact. Colin now whips Chavo and tries a dropkick, but Chavo grabs the ropes. Chavo hits a slow three amigos. Chavo goes up top for Frog Splash, but Colin avoids the contact and tries a pin, but gets a two count only. Chavo grabs Colin and hits a Gory Bomb for the three count at 4:31.

Winner: Chavo Guerrero

Be sure to catch me on the 4 R’s for ECW this week.